Her Life
by perfectlyjaeded
Summary: This is a sequel to my other CampRock story. Its pretty much Jaels life as a celebrity and her struggles trying to get people to understand her. Especially Joe, being protective of her. Please check it out and review. Other Genres: Friendship/Romance
1. Forgiveness

** Hey guys. This is the first chapter of the Sequel to Camp Rock. I hope you like it! So what I'm gonna do is make everyone's names in my other story their name in real life. Like:**

** Shayne Grey: Joseph Adam Grey**

** Ella: Anna Maria Perez De Tagle**

** Peggy: Jasmine Richards**

** Barron: Jordan Francis**

** Sander: Roshon Fegan**

** Tess, you all already know, is Meaghan Jette Martin.**

** Kevin is Kevin Black. His parents are Denise and Paul Black and his little brother is Frankie Black.**

** Nick is Nick Jonas. His parents are Nicole/Nikki and John Jonas.**

** Joe doesn't have parents but since he's been close with Nick and his family for a very long time, Nick's parents are practically his.**

** Anyways, back to the story. I hope you all enjoy it.**

We left yesterday for New York. There were a few tears that shed when we said bye to Meaghan, Selena, and Miley. We promised we would keep in touch through texting and videos and stuff. The only thing I was angry about was that Joe and I haven't spoken since the night before yesterday. Kiwi, Caity, and Meaghan are the only ones who know what happened…the only thing they didn't know was the part when Joe said to let people help me and me saying I can't.

To not make the paparazzi or fans curious and to promote Connect 3, Caity, Kiwi, and I made a video of us listening to the radio and waiting for Burnin' Up to play. The video got a lot of views and the song came out on iTunes today.

The days went by quickly and Matt, Evan, and Jesse were getting curious. They kept asking me what was wrong and why Joe and I weren't speaking with each other but I just didn't tell them. And soon enough, it was Wednesday night. The night before my mom's funeral.

It was pretty late and everyone went to sleep but I couldn't. I just went up to the roof of the bus and stood by the railing and watched everything as we drove by it, letting the tears fall. I was wearing my pajama pants, a t-shirt, and a sweater because it was a little cold. I wrapped the sweater tightly around me and just thought of my mom and that she didn't deserve to die at all.

I didn't hear anything but I jumped when I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. I turned around and it was Joe. I turned into his chest and cried as he rubbed my arm to comfort me.

"I'm so sorry." I told him.

"Don't be. You're going through more than anyone can imagine." He said and kissed my forehead. "Just know that I'm here for you if you want to talk about anything. Even though it might be hard, it's important. And if you can't talk to me, there's always Evan, Jesse, and Matt. You've been friends with them for much longer so I'm sure it's easier to tell them." I nodded as I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head against his chest, listening to the music of his heartbeat.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" He asked me.

"No. I don't want it to ever come."

"That's how I felt when I had to go to my parents funeral. It'll come and pass and it'll be hard afterwards. But you still have all of us that love you and will always be here for you. I'm never gonna let you go. No matter what, I will always be here for you. I promise." The tears came back again and I sobbed into his chest.

"I love you, Joe." I could tell he was a little shocked when these words came out of my mouth. He put both hands on either side of my face and pulled me into a deep and passionate kiss. I unwrapped my arms from his waist and placed them around his neck.

"Thank you." He said after he pulled away.

"For what?" I asked.

"For loving me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you didn't."

"And I wouldn't be able to live without you."

**Yes, I know, this is a very lame chapter and it's short too. I'm sorry but the next chapter will be…interesting. I hope I don't disappoint you guys in this sequel. And I hope I get more reviews than the last.**


	2. Funerals&Letters

I couldn't sleep that night so I just laid there in my bunk, crying. Joe had asked me about a hundred times before he fell asleep if I was all right and I told him yes each time even though I wasn't.

The next morning, I got out of bed around 9:30 and everyone was still asleep. I went in the bathroom, brushed my teeth, took a shower, etc. then went to the driver and asked him how long it would take us to get to New York. He said only a couple hours so I called Carry and she gave me the address to where the funeral would be and I gave it to the driver.

After about 20 minutes, my phone started ringing and it was Meaghan.

"Hey Megs." I said when I answered. "What's up? I miss you."

"_Hey Jael. I miss you too. I just wanted to see how you were. Are you and Joe still fighting?"_

"No. We're fine now. We talked last night and everything's okay."

"_Good. Listen, I know your mom's funeral is today and I just wanted to give you my condolences." _I smiled._ "And so does Miley and Selena."_

"Thanks. Are they with you now?"

"_Yea. We woke up early cause we knew you would probably be the only one awake right now and this would be a good time to call." _I laughed.

"Hey guys." I said to Selena and Miley. "I miss you guys so much."

"_We miss you too." _They said in unison. _"I can't believe we won't be able to see any of you guys for two whole months." _Selena said.

"_Yea. Oh, are you coming to the Teen Choice Awards?" Miley asked._

"I don't know. When are they?"

"_August 10. Connect 3 has to go but we really want you to come so we can see you."_

"I'll try. And even if I can't, we can always hang out afterwards or before or something."

"_Okay, well, we hope you can. And guess what!" _Miley said.

"What?"

"_I'm gonna be hosting it!"_ She said excitedly.

"Really? I'm so happy for you. I'll try my best to come then." I heard some talking in the background.

"_Thanks. Listen, we got to go. My dad is calling us to have some coffee and breakfast with him. Oh, and Justin says hi."_

"Okay. Tell him I said hi back! I miss you guys a lot and I'll talk to you soon. Bye."

"_Bye."_ They said then hung up and I sighed.

It was about 10:30 when everyone finally started waking up. I was really tired since I didn't sleep at all last night so when Joe woke up, he sat on the couch and I sat next to him and fell asleep on his lap.

I don't know how long I was asleep for, but I woke up to the sound of people talking.

"Is she alright?" Someone asked.

"Yea. She didn't get much sleep last night." Joe replied. "Jael, you awake?" I opened my eyes and nodded. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine." I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes. "What time is it?"

"12:00. We're gonna be there soon."

"I guess we should start getting ready, then." I stood up and went to the back lounge that also had the closets in it. I took out my outfit for the funeral when Caity walked back here too.

"Hey, you okay?" She asked me and I shook my head, no, as the tears started sliding down my cheeks. She walked over to me and pulled me into a hug. "It'll be okay, Jael."

"You guys don't have to come." I told her after I pulled away and wiped my tears.

"But we want to. We're here for you and if the people that love you are around you, you'll feel a lot better."

"Is Nick and Kev coming too?"

"I don't think so. They have to talk to the driver about all the places we have to go for the tour and stuff. And Demi will be in Canada before us since she isn't stopping here."

"Okay. Umm, I'll be right back. I'm gonna change." I went to the bathroom and changed into the dress I would be wearing to the funeral. I did my hair and left my face makeup less. I walked out of the bathroom and into the backroom to see Caity and Kiwi already dressed.

"Is everybody else ready?" I asked them and they nodded. I went to my bag and took out my jewelry. I put my bracelets, necklace, and rings on then my shoes. Since I knew I couldn't walk in heals, I just wore black flats.

A few minutes later, Joe walked over to me. He was wearing dark grey jeans and a black button down shirt with his leatherjacket on top.

"Hey," He said and sat beside me and kissed my forehead. He put his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into his side. Caity and Kiwi said they would see us in a bit then walked out. After a couple minutes of just sitting there, my phone rang. It was Carry.

"Hello?" I said when I picked up.

"_Hey Jael. Are you guys almost here?"_ Joe put his hand in mine started twisting the rings on my fingers.

"Umm, I don't know. Did you already start?"

"_We're about to. Let me just give you the address to the cemetery since you'll probably be a little late."_

"Okay. Umm, hold on." I grabbed a piece of paper and pen from the side table next to the couch. "Okay, what is it?" She gave me the address and I wrote it down. "Alright, I got it. I'll see you soon." I hung up the phone.

"What happened?" Joe asked me.

"We're gonna be late so Carry gave me the address to the cemetery." I got up and walked to the front of the bus and gave the driver the paper with the address on it. "Sorry for the change." I told him.

"It's alright." He told me and I walked to where everyone else was in the living area and sat on the couch next to Matt.

We hardly talked at all on the way there. As soon as the bus stopped moving, my heart started racing and my eyes instantly filled with tears. We stood up and stepped off the bus and as soon as I did, the cold air of New York hit me. I wrapped my arms around myself but Joe took off his jacket and gave it to me. I looked at him and he gave me a soft smile. I took the jacket and put it on and we walked to where Carry told me to go.

As we were walking, I heard someone say my name. I turned around and saw Carry. I smiled and walked over to her.

"Hey Carry." I said softly as the tears slid down my cheeks.

"Jael, you look beautiful." She said and pulled me into a hug. "I'm very sorry sweetie about what happened. We did everything we could but it was too late."

"I know." I said as more tears came in my eyes. "Thank you for taking care of her. Umm, I'll introduce you to everyone. Come on." We walked to where the guys and Caity were. "Everybody, this is Carry. Carry, this is Evan, Matt, and Jesse. We've been friends since Middle School. Umm, this is Caity and Kiwi, we met at Camp Rock. And this is Joe. My boyfriend."

"It's very nice to meet you all." Carry said.

"Same here." Joe replied.

"Come on. Let's go to where everyone else is."

"Who came?" I asked Carry as we were walking.

"Umm, your father." I stiffened and Joe put his hand in mine and I relaxed a little. "There's this one guy. Your mother told me to invite him whenever she passed but she never told me who he was. Maybe you'll know when you see him." I was confused about who she was talking about but I ignored it and followed her.

We finally got to where they would be burying her and Carry pointed to the guy she was talking about.

"Do you know him?" She asked me. I stared at him and he looked vaguely familiar but…I couldn't quite place it. I shook my head and said no.

"I don't know him." I told her and she nodded. The man was young. Maybe around mid to late 30's. He was around Joe's height and had light brown hair and blue eyes. There was something about him…I feel like I've met him before.

He turned his head and when he saw me, he looked…shocked? I don't know. I just shook it off and looked down and let everything pass. Before I knew it, they were putting her casket into the ground and tears were running down my cheeks. I squeezed Joe's hand tight and he put his arm around my shoulder and I turned my head into his chest.

We took Carry's car back to her house and we would meet Kevin and Nick there with the bus.

"Where's Bill?" I asked Carry as we drove back to her place.

"He went out of town for some business work. He tried to make it but there was no way he could."

"It's okay."

We finally got to the house. I introduce Kevin and Nick to Carry and she recognized the three of them instantly from Connect 3. There wasn't much talking done when we got to the house. Carry had to go outside to do something and I got up and walked to the room my mother slept in.

I was leaning against the side of the door when I noticed something under the pillow on the bed. I walked over to it and picked it up. It was a letter with my name on it in my mother's handwriting. I sat on the bed as my eyes begun to water and opened the letter.

_Dear Jael,_

_By the time you read this, you're probably at Carry's house after my funeral. The truth is, I knew I was going to go. I felt myself getting weaker and weaker and that's why I'm writing this letter. You're probably wondering why I didn't call but that's because I knew you would come here and I wanted you to finish what you started. I don't want you to blame this on yourself at all because none of this is your fault._

_But you need to know that I love you and miss you very very much and I will always be watching over you. But there's something you should know-_

I looked up when I heard someone at the door. It was Joe. He walked over to me instantly when he saw my face drowned in tears. He sat beside me and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and cried on his shoulder.

Joe pulled away from the hug and kissed my forehead.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too. Always."

We went back to the living room after I put the letter back in the envelope. I noticed there was something else in the envelope but I told myself I would check it later. A few minutes later, Carry walked back in the house with a bag in her hand. She gave it to me.

"What is it?" I asked her.

"It's your mothers jewelry box. She told me to give it to you." I nodded. I was standing next to Joe, leaning against the wall. All of a sudden, there was a loud banging on the front door and everybody jumped.

"LET ME SPEAK WITH JAEL!" I heard my father yell. Joe tightened his arm around me and I looked at him.

"It's okay. Let me go." I noticed something in his eyes. Fear. "I'll be fine. I promise." I took a quick look at the others then looked down.

"I'll be right back guys." I said then walked outside to see my father walking back to his house. I followed him inside and as soon as I closed the door, he turned around and looked at me with cold, hard eyes.

"Why'd you let your mother stay with them?" Before I could say anything, he slapped me. "It's your fault she's dead! If she stayed here-"

"If she stayed here, she would've died faster than she already was! Don't you dare say it's my fault when it's yours and you know it! If you just got another job, we would have money and been able to take her to the hospital and she would be alive right now!"

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"Why dad? What, are you gonna beat me again? The day of mommy's funeral-are you gonna kill me too?" He slapped me again. Hard. Hard enough to make me fall to the ground. He left a print that stains me long after it's faded. I glare at him as the tears sting in my eyes and get up. I was about to walk out the door when he grabbed my arm very tightly.

"You're coming back here." I scoffed and turned around to face him.

"Bull."

"He's using you. Your boyfriend."

"I love him and he loves me."

"Yea?" He scoffed. "He won't after I tell him what you used to do to yourself." My eyes widened.

"He would understand."

"Understand my ass! He doesn't love you. The moment I tell him, you'll be all alone. He won't love you anymore, if he even does now." Tears were sliding down my cheeks.

"You want to tell him? Fine. Go ahead. But wait till I tell him what you did to me."

"I didn't do shit to you." I scoffed and literally, almost started laughing.

"Really? Because the last time I checked, abusing your children is illegal! But he already knows about that. I'm talking about something else." He grabbed my arm and I pulled them away. "Don't you dare touch me again! Not like last time." He glared at me. "I'm leaving and I'm not coming back."

"We'll see about that."

"Rot in hell." I said before I walked out of the house and slammed the door.

**Joe's POV (While Jael is at her dad's house)**

I was thinking about Jael and how I told myself that I would ask Evan about her.

"Evan, can I talk to you for a second?" He nodded and stood up and we both walked to a separate room. I closed the door and sighed.

"What's going on, man?" He asked me.

"I wanted to talk to you about Jael." He nodded. "Has she been this way before? When you guys used to hang out?"

"Honestly? She was worse but in a different way. She's changed a lot and the guys and I figured it was cause she met you."

"What do you mean worse? When I first met her, I didn't think she could get any worse but everyday I see her, I feel like she is."

"She was pretty depressed. Not even 'pretty', she was very depressed. She used to cut herself and she wouldn't sleep at night or anything. She never told us that her dad abused her. We found out one time because she had bruises on her face and arms. She tried lying but we caught her. We thought she told us everything but she changed a lot and we had no idea why."

"It's just…I feel like I don't know her. And I was hoping you could tell me anything that would help me understand her more." He sighed.

"She'll try to hide everything from you. No matter what, even if she talks to you about something, there is always something else hiding in her that either she's afraid to spill, or she just doesn't think anyone can help her with so she keeps it locked in herself."

"Was she as thin as she is now?"

"No. But she was getting there. She didn't starve herself she just lost her appetite and never ate. When the guys and I first saw her the other day at Audition Session, we were so shocked by how thin she got. She's changed, man. And it was all her dads fault. He fucked up her life and…she just needs someone for her. Even if she doesn't talk to anybody, as long as she has people there for her, she'll know she's not alone and that there are people that love her."

**Jael's POV**

I walked back to Carry's house. The pain from my cheek came back and I knew it was probably really red. When I opened the door, everyone was already standing up.

"Can we go now?" I asked, keeping my face at an angle so they couldn't see the cheek that was slapped. Everyone walked out of the house and into the bus but Joe waited for me by the door of the bus with the jewelry box in his hand.

"It was good seeing you again, sweetie." Carry said.

"You too." She noticed the redness on the side of my face and her smile wiped away.

"What did he do?" She asked as she turned my face with her hand so she could take a look.

"I'm fine. It's not a big deal. Nothing I'm not used to." She sighed.

"You look so much like your mother." I smiled. "You do know that she loved you very much, right?" I nodded.

"I know. I love her too. More than anything in this world." Carry looked at the bus.

"I guess you have to go now." I nodded. "Be careful, Jael. I know you're famous now and it can be dangerous."

"I know. I'll be careful. Walk with me to the bus." I told her and she smiled. "I'll keep in touch. I promise." I told her when I reached Joe.

"Okay. Stay safe, Jael. I'll miss you very much."

"Me too." I pulled her into a hug. "Bye." I stepped on the bus and heard Carry tell Joe 'Take care of her' and Joe saying 'I will'.

I walked straight to the back lounge. I took out sweats and a t-shirt, changed into it, then put Joe's jacket back on and pulled my hair in a ponytail. I took a seat on the couch, took the envelope back out and re-read the letter.

_-there's something you should know. I know I should've told you this long ago, but I didn't. And I hope you forgive me for telling you this so late but…your father…he's not really your father._

_Before you were born, I went out with this guy when I was 17 and we were so in love. We mated but I never told him I was pregnant and when I was going to, it was too late because we had just separated. Something was going on with his family and he had to leave me. I haven't spoken to him in so many years but we still kept in touch at the time and we were close friends._

_Jael, he is your father. His name is Luke Pierce and he's from Scotland. In the envelope, there is a picture of him. It's the most recent one I have._

_I know you're probably mad at me right now. But…I knew if I told you recently, you would be mad because it's too late, especially after what Josh __**(Jael's non-biological father)**__ had done to you. But listen to me, Luke is a good man. He would never hurt you and he would be an amazing father. Do me a favour and talk to him. Even if you don't want to consider him as your father, at least just talk to him._

_I love you and miss you so much, lovebird, and I would never do anything to hurt you. In the envelope, there's also a necklace. Luke gave it to me and I've worn it ever since. I'm passing it down to you now and if you wear it, I will be with you at all times. Through the hardest and happiest. Just think of me and I'll be there._

_Arise and be all that you dreamed, babygirl. I love you more than rainbows. Always._

I didn't realize it but I was crying so much. Harder than I have ever cried before. I folded up the letter and opened the envelope. I took out the picture my mom was talking about in the letter and my heart stopped when I saw the person in it. It was the guy I saw at the funeral. He looked younger in the picture but he still had the same features.

I put the picture to the side and took out the necklace. It was beautiful. It had black pearls and a cross.

I decided to put the picture of Luke in my wallet. I took it out of my bag as I was still crying hysterically and put it inside. I took the necklace and put it around my neck then picked up the cross and stared at it.

"I love you too, mommy." I whispered and continued to cry with my head buried in my hands.

**I hope you guys liked the chapter. For Jael's necklace, it's really long, so she can either wear it regular, or wrap it once or twice around her neck. Here's a link to the picture. It's not long but just pretend it is. Review please!**

**And pretend 'Jesus' isn't on the cross. Thank you!**

**http :/ s249. photobucket. com/albums/gg227/brokenontheinside/?action=view¤t;=27. jpg&newest=1**

**erase the spaces!**


	3. Should I Talk To Him?

I was still crying when Joe walked in. He sat beside me and pulled me into a hug, holding me tightly. It's times like this where I feel like everything is okay. Where I could just pretend for a second that it all just might be fine, or I'll wake up from a bad dream.

Joe began rubbing my back to comfort me but nothing seemed to help. He didn't lie and tell me it was okay or everything would be all right. He just let me greave and I was thankful for that.

I soon began to calm down but the tears were still rushing down my face. Joe wiped them away for me and kissed my cheek.

"I want you to read something." I told him as I took the envelope and handed it to him.

"What is it?"

"My mom wrote it to me before she died. Read it."

It took him a couple minutes to read the whole thing.

"He's not really your father." He confirmed. I took my wallet out and showed him the picture.

"It was that man at the funeral. That's why he looked so shocked when he saw me. He knew I was his daughter." I sniffed. It was quiet for a few seconds.

"What are you gonna do?" He asked me.

"I don't know. Do I need a father figure in my life or should I stay the way I am. I don't know if he will make everything worse or better...but I'm going to talk to him. My mom asked me to so I'm going to do it. I don't know when but I will and we'll see what happens from there." Joe nodded and leaned in to give me a kiss.

"No matter what happens, I will always be on your side. Whatever you choose is fine with me. " I nodded. A couple minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Evan, Jesse, and Matt walked in. Their eyes were watering with tears because they were close with my mom too. I stood up, walked over to them, and pulled the three of them into a hug.

"We're really sorry, Jael." Evan said. I couldn't say anything back as the tears started again so I just hugged them tighter.

We all decided to go to the living room of the bus but I told them I would be right there. I took my phone out and texted Demi and Meaghan.

_Do you mind if we do three way with Megs?_

_Do you mind if we do three way with Demi?_

They both said no so I called Demi first and connected it with Meaghan's call.

"Hey, you guys there?" I said into the phone.

"_Yea."_ They both said in unison. _"How was the funeral?" _Meaghan asked.

"Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

I explained to them what happened while I was there and about the whole 'father' situation. They were both in shock as much as I was.

"What do you think I should do?" I asked. "Should I talk to him and see how thing's will go or just ignore it and move on with my life?"

"_I think you should talk to him."_ Demi said.

"_Yea, same here."_ Meaghan agreed. _"At least you would actually have a chance to meet him."_ She said, referring to her own issues. I sighed.

"All right. Thanks guys. Demi, are you in Canada yet?"

"_Yea. Everybody's here, we're just waiting for you guys."_

"Oh, okay. Well, we should be there soon. Tonight maybe."

"_Okay."_

"_You guys are lucky you'll be with each other the whole time. I'll miss you both."_ Meaghan said and Demi and I told her we would miss her too.

"Well, I got to go guys. I'll see you soon, Demi, and I'll call you later Megs. Love you both. Bye." I hung up the phone and sighed. I wiped away the tears that had recently fallen and rubbed my eyes. I didn't realize how tired I was and it wasn't even that late.

I walked out to the living room to see everybody sitting there, talking quietly.

"Hey guys. Umm, I'm really tired so I'm just gonna take a nap. It's been a long day." I told them and they nodded, understanding. Caity and Kiwi stood up and gave me a hug. I gave them a small smile then turned around, got in my bunk, put the curtain up and just let the tears fall.

**Please review. Thank you to the one person who reviewed and read all the other chapters for the first part of the story. I hope you review more throughout this one. Thank you.**


	4. Bluesfest

I woke up to the feeling of a bed under me. I slowly opened my eyes. I was in a room. I sat up and adjusted my vision. It was a bedroom in a hotel. I looked out the window and the sun was out. Was I asleep for that long?

I got out of the bed and walked to the window. The sun was out but the clouds covered it and if you looked around, you could tell that it was cold. I smiled to myself.

I was back home in Canada.

I heard the door open so I turned around and saw Joe.

"You're finally awake." He said and I smiled. "How're you feeling?" He walked to me and gave me a kiss. I sat back down on the bed and he sat beside me.

"I-I feel…empty." My eyes began to water. "Nothing will be the same anymore, Joe. She's gone. And I can't do anything to bring her back." Tears slid down my cheeks and Joe pulled me into a hug.

"Even though she isn't here in person, she's still always there with you. She doesn't have to be right by your side for it to mean she's there." He said and pulled away from the hug. I placed my hand on the cross she gave me and squeezed it tightly.

"I know. I just wish she were here with me right now. If I could just say goodbye then…maybe things would be different." I sighed.

"I love you, Jael. Just know that you are the most important person in the world to me and I'll never let you go."

"I love you too." I said and sniffed. He gave me a peck on the lips. "Is Demi here?"

"Yea. Matt, Evan, and Jesse are in the living room talking with Demi. Everybody else is in their own rooms. Nick and Kevin shared one, Kiwi and Caity shared one, you and me shared one, and Matt, Jesse, and Evan shared one. Kevin's dad is here and sharing one with Kevin's little brother, Frankie, and his wife Denise and Brad is in his own room." I nodded and stood up.

"They're all worrying about you." He said. "They were waiting for you to wake up to see if you were okay." I nodded.

"I guess I should go show them that I'm fine." Joe stood up and we walked to the living room. When Demi saw me, she stood up instantly and walked over.

"Hey Demz." I said and pulled her into a tight hug.

"Jael! How are you doing?" She pulled away.

"I'm okay." I said and gave her a reassuring smile. I walked over to the guys and sat beside them on the couch.

"You okay?" Jesse asked and I nodded. Was I really okay? Not one bit. I'm sure they knew that too but they didn't ask.

"Is the first show tonight?" I asked and Joe nodded.

"We have to go to sound check in a couple hours."

"Well, I have to shower and stuff anyways so I'll go now." I stood up, went to the room to get my clothes ready then went to the bathroom and took a shower.

After I got dressed, I straightened my hair and did my makeup. I walked back to the room and put my bracelets, rings, and necklace on, then walked to the living room to see Demi, Joe, Caity, and Kiwi.

"Damn Jael! Your hair is long when it's straight!" Caity said and I chuckled.

"How are you?" Kiwi asked.

"I'm alright. Are we going now?"

"Yea. Our band and Demi's band already left so it's just us, Nick, Kevin, Evan, Matt, and Jesse." I nodded.

"Alright. Let me just grab my bag then we can go." I went back to the room, grabbed my bag, then went back to the living room and we all left. The guys were already on the bus so we didn't have to wait.

It only took us about 10 minutes to get there. We walked inside the arena and my mouth dropped. This place was HUGE. There were SO many seats and the stage was really big.

"God damn." Kiwi said. "Jael are you nervous?"

"Not one bit." I said jokingly and they laughed.

The rest of sound check was a lot of fun. I sat in the seats all the way in the front row with Caity, Kiwi, and my band and watched Demi and her band play the set of songs she would play throughout the whole tour, then Connect 3 and their set of songs. While they were singing their last song, I had to go backstage/downstairs because I would be rising onto the stage then would begin singing.

Since for sound check, we had to pretend there actually was an audience, and technically, Caity and Kiwi were. I heard the intro to This Is Me start. I got on the riser thing and it slowly got higher and higher.

"I want to introduce you guys to our friend, Jael Pierce!" When I got on the stage, Caity and Kiwi were screaming their asses off and I bust out laughing as I began to sing. I looked around me to see Evan and Jesse coming out from the sides of the stage with their instruments in their hands as they were playing it. I turned around and instead of it being Ryan, Connect 3's drummer at the drums, it was Matt.

Nick and Kevin were playing the guitar as well and Joe just stood there, waiting for his part of the song to come.

After I was done singing, I got off the stage to Caity and Kiwi.

"That was awesome, Jael!" Caity said. "You're going to do great later tonight."

"Thanks."

"Jael!" I heard Kevin say from the stage. I turned around and saw a little boy, maybe around 7 or 8 standing next to Kevin. Caity, Kiwi, and I walked back on the stage to Kevin. "Guys', this is my little brother Frankie." I crouched down to his height.

"Hey little man. I'm Jael." I stuck my hand out for him to shake and he took it.

"Hi. You're very pretty." I smiled.

"Awe! Thank you. You're very handsome yourself."

"Sorry Frankster, but she's all mine." I looked up to see Joe and I smiled. I stood back up to my regular height and Joe put his arm around my shoulders. Frankie stuck his tongue out and I laughed.

"Frankie, this is Caity and Kiwi." Kevin said. "Where are mom and dad?"

"Backstage talking to the crew about tonight's show."

"Alright. Guys', come on. I want you to meet my mom." We followed him backstage and I saw Paul standing next to a very beautiful woman, talking to some of the backstage crew. "Mom," The woman turned around. "Mom, this is Jael, Joe's girlfriend, Caity, and Kiwi."

"It's very nice to finally meet you." She said. "I'm Denise."

"It's nice to meet you too. And it's good to see you again, Paul."

"You too, guys'. Excited for tonight's show?"

"Very. I'm nervous though."

"Don't worry about that. It'll all go away by the time you get on the stage." We talked for a couple more minutes. Afterwards, I decided to walk to Evan, Matt, and Jesse.

"Jael," Matt said. "Guess what's today!"

"What?" I asked.

"Bluesfest!" Evan said.

"Are you serious?" They nodded. "We have to go! Let's go tell the guys."

"Tell the guys what?" I turned around and saw Nick, Joe, and Kevin.

"Bluesfest is today, here in Canada and we were wondering if it's okay for us to go. We won't stay long and we'll be back before six."

"Sure. Have fun." Kevin said. "I'm sure you guys' need a ride. Let me tell my dad and he'll ask one of our drivers to take you." We followed Kevin to his dad and waited as he asked him to set up a ride for us.

"Of course! Do you guys want a bodyguard too?" He asked as he dialed a number on his cell and I scoffed.

"I don't think that'll be necessary." The guys started laughing. After a couple minutes of talking on the phone, he hung up.

"Alright, it's a black SUV waiting right out back. And the driver will stay at the place till you're done." I nodded.

"Caity, Kiwi, do you guys' wanna come?" I asked.

"Nahh, we're gonna stay here. Have fun though." Caity said.

"Alright, we'll see you guys' later. Tell Brad where we are if he asks." I gave Shayne a peck on the lips.

"Call me when you're leaving."

"Okay, bye."

We walked outside and I already heard screaming from the front of the arena. Thank god we left through the back.

It took us only about 15 minutes to get to Bluesfest.

"Thanks for the ride." I told the driver as I was getting out. "And if you're interested at all, you can walk around and watch the show or something." He nodded and the four of us got out of the truck. Since we were 'famous' we were allowed to wait backstage and watch the bands perform from there, but before we did, we wanted to walk around to the booths and stuff. We walked over to one. There was a girl there with blonde hair and on her booth were gummy bracelets with words on it and t-shirts.

"Hey," She said.

"Hi," I replied. "These are really cool bracelets. Did you design them?"

"Yea, I did."

"Wow. How much are they?"

"Ten dollars each. But for you guys, I'll make it five."

"Shut up." I told her. "Seriously?" She nodded. "Sweet."

"I'm Jac, by the way."

"Jael. And this is Evan, Matt, and Jesse." My mouth dropped when I saw a bracelet that I new I had to get. I picked it up and the guys laughed. It had the numbers from LOST on them.

_4 8 15 16 23 42_

"You're a LOST fan?!" I asked excitedly.

"Hell yes! More like fanatic! I haven't caught up on all the episodes yet but I love it!"

"Ahh! We have to be best friends now! I'm gonna buy this one!" I gave her five dollars and put the bracelet on right away. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome." She laughed. "Are you guys like a band or something? You seem like one." I laughed.

"We are, actually. We're not that famous yet but we're on tour with Connect 3, Demi Lovato, and The Veronicas."

"Really?"

"Yea. We don't sing any of our songs cause it's not 'Disney Appropriate' but I sing a duet me and Joe have together."

"That's really cool. Do you guys have a CD yet?"

"No, but we're gonna work on it after the tour."

"Well I'll definitely check that out."

"Okay. Hey, give me your number. We have to hang out sometime." She smiled.

"Okay." All six of us exchanged numbers.

"Well, we're gonna head backstage so we can watch the shows. We'll see you later."

"Bye."

It didn't hit us that we would be waiting backstage, where ALL the other bands would be till I actually saw them standing there. My mouth dropped and I couldn't help but smile.

"Dude, this is awesome." Matt said.

"Oh shit, is that Three Days Grace?!" Jesse asked and my mouth dropped again.

"Shut up! Where?"

"Right there!" He nodded to where the band was and a huge smile grew on my face.

"Oh my god." I gasped and took my phone out.

"What are you doing?" Evan asked.

"Twitter!" The guys laughed as I went on the website.

_OH. MY. GOD. I'm literally standing only a couple yards away from THREE DAYS GRACE! AAAHHHH!!!! Oh shit! They're coming this way…_

"Dude, they're walking over to us." Evan said. "Well, the band is, but not Adam. I wonder where he went."

"Hello," Neil, the drummer of Three Days Grace said when they reached us.

"Hi," I said and smiled.

"I'm Neil and this is Barry and Brad."

"Of course. We're huge fans of the band. I'm Jael and this is Matt, Jesse, and Evan."

"It's nice to meet you guys'. Will you be performing today?"

"Uhh, no. We're just here to watch. Umm, they let us stay back here cause we're famous ourselves, sort of, and they didn't want us getting trampled by fans." The three of them chuckled.

"Sweet. Oh hey, here comes Adam." Brad, the bass player said, talking about the lead singer of the band. I froze and Matt, Jesse, and Evan started laughing cause they know I have a huge crush on him and I've had one for many years.

"Hey Adam, this is Jael, Matt, Evan, and Jesse."

"It's nice to meet you guys'." Adam said and I think I blushed a little. The guys laughed again and I nudged them. They tried holding in their laughter but you could tell they were about to blow. "What's so funny?"

"Uhh, nothing." I said. "So uh, did you guys' perform yet?"

"Not yet. We're gonna go pretty soon, though." Adam said. "I know this is really random, but you have an accent. Where are you from?"

"I'm half Irish half Canadian." I replied.

"Yea, I can hear both accents while you talk. They aren't very heavy, though. Are you gonna be performing?" Adam asked.

"No, we're just here to watch."

"Oh come on, not even one song?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"I'm sure the fans would love it if you did."

"Yea, but we don't have any songs prepared or anything."

"So. Improvise."

"Three Days Grace, you're up next!" Someone yelled.

"Hey! Can she do one song before us?" Adam asked the guy, talking about me.

"What? No!"

"Sure!" The guy yelled back and I groaned as the guys laughed.

"I hate you." I said to Adam and he began pushing me onto the stage. The crowd started cheering when they saw Adam but were confused when he walked away.

"Uhh…shit, I'm nervous." I said into the microphone and the audience laughed. "Hey everybody. Some of you may know who I am, some may not. I was just here to enjoy the show when somebody, cough cough Adam Gontier, cough cough, pushed me onto the stage and forced me to sing a song." I looked backstage and they were all standing there, watching me with smiles on their faces. "So, I have no idea what I'm gonna sing. Umm…how about-how many of you guys' heard of a band called Breaking Benjamin?" The audience cheered.

"Sweet. Well, since this was very random and my band didn't really learn how to play this song on their instruments, I will be singing this on the piano. You guys like the song Diary Of Jane?" The audience screamed even louder. I walked over to the piano and took a seat on the bench.

"And I'm really sorry if I ruin this song shitless." I said through the mike that was already on the piano mike stand and the crowd laughed again. "But bear with me please. Evan get your ass out here and sing backup." He walked out with my video camera in his hand, recording everything, and took the mike from the other stand and walked over and sat next to me. "Oh shit. Really? Do you have to record this? By the way, everybody, this is Evan, my guitar player."

_If I had to_

_I would put myself right beside you_

_So let me ask_

_Would you like that?_

_Would you like that?_

_And I don't mind_

_If you say this love is the last time_

_So now I'll ask_

_Do you like that?_

_Do you like that?_

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane_

_So tell me how it should be_

_Try to find out what makes you tick_

_As I lie down_

_Sore and sick_

_Do you like that?_

_Do you like that?_

_And I don't mind_

_If you say_

_This love is the last time_

_Just let me say that I like that_

_I like that_

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane_

_As I burn another page_

_As I look the other way_

_I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane_

_So tell me how it should be_

_Desperate, I will crawl_

_Waiting for so long_

_No love, there's no love_

_Die for anyone_

_What have I become?_

_Something's getting in the way_

_Something's just about to break_

_I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane_

_As I burn another page_

_As I look the other way_

_I still try to find my place_

_In the diary of Jane_

The crowd cheered so loud, I was in shock.

"THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!" Someone in the crowd yelled and Evan and I bust out laughing.

"Thank you! I actually thought that would suck but apparently you guys' like it. Thanks. Umm, next, is the amazing band, Three Days Grace." Evan put his mike back and we walked backstage.

"Jael, that was awesome!" Matt said and I laughed.

"Haha, thanks."

"It was really good." Adam said. "I'll see you guys' in a bit. Enjoy the show." He walked onstage with the rest of the band and they began to sing.

"Here's your camera back." Evan said and handed it to me. "And I recorded it cause I'm sure everybody would want to see it, especially Caity and Kiwi."

"True. That was SO much fun! Even though there will probably be thousands of more people at the concert tonight, I don't think I'll be that nervous. And I thought I was gonna suck!"

"It was amazing. When our CD comes out and we go on tour, we should do covers of other songs." Matt said.

"Hell yea! Now, let's go closer to the stage so we can watch Three Days Grace perform."

Watching Three Days Grace perform was unbelievable. I haven't been to a concert in a while and being so close, it was very crazy. While they were singing, I recorded each song because I knew this would be something I never wanted to forget. Afterwards, the band walked back stage.

"You guys did SO good!" I told Adam.

"Thanks." He took a towel and started wiping his sweat.

"Jesse, what time is it?" I asked.

"5:00."

"I guess we should get going then. It was very nice to meet you, Adam, and your band."

"It was nice to meet you guys' too. Hey, why don't you give me your number and whenever you guys' need any help on your CD or if you just wanna chill, you can call me." I seriously felt like screaming.

"Uh, sure! That would be awesome." The four of us took our phones out and we all exchanged numbers with Adam. "Sweet. I guess we'll talk to you soon. Bye Neil, Barry, and Brad!" I yelled so they could hear me from where they were. They waved then turned back around. "See you, Adam."

We walked back to the SUV and the driver was in the driver's seat. Before we went inside, I heard someone calling my name. I turned around and saw Jac.

"Hey," She said when she caught up. "You were amazing up there!"

"Thanks."

"Listen, whenever we happen to be in the same state or even after your tour, we should hang out some time. Plus, I want you to meet a couple friends of mine."

"Yea, awesome! I would love to. Well, we have to get going so I'll see you later."

"Okay, bye."

We got in and started driving away. I took my phone out and dialed Joe's number.

"_Hey Jael,"_

"Hey. We just left and we're on our way."

"_Okay. When you get here, there are a couple people I want you guys' to meet."_

"Who?" I asked, curiously.

"_You'll just have to wait and find out. I'll see you soon."_

"Fine. Bye." I hung up the phone and put it in my pocket. "Joe said when we get there, he wants to introduce us to some people."

"Any idea who they are?" Evan asked.

"Not a clue. I guess we'll find out soon."

We finally got back to the arena and I swear, I think the screaming got louder. Crazy teenybopper fanatics. When we stepped out of the car, the screaming got ten times louder so we covered our ears and ran inside. We went to the stage where I noticed everybody was.

"Hey guys'." I said.

"Were you covering your ears?" Nick asked me.

"Dude, they are screaming SO loud outside."

"Ha, that's nothing compared to the screaming you'll hear tonight."

"That's what she said!" Matt yelled quickly and we bust out laughing.

"You just got pwned!" Kevin said and we laughed even more. When everybody relaxed, I noticed Joe wasn't here.

"Where's Joe?" I asked.

"Backstage. JOE!" Nick yelled, calling for him and a few seconds later, Joe walked towards us with two girls next to him and Garbo.

"Hey," Joe said as he walked over to me and gave me a kiss. "Guys', this is Jess and Lisa from The Veronicas. Jess, Lisa, this is Jael, my girlfriend, and her band Evan, Matt, and Jesse."

"Hey," Jess said. "I heard you guys' went to Bluesfest. How was it?"

"It was awesome. We met Three Days Grace there and I think we became friends with them." Jesse said. I think it JUST hit me that all that actually happened and my face lit up a hundred times brighter.

"DUDE! WE MET FUCKING THREE DAYS GRACE! OH MY GOD!" I yelled and they all started laughing.

"Yea, you got Adam's number too." Evan said.

"I KNOW!"

"Wait, you guys' got Three Days Grace's number?" Demi asked and I nodded excitedly.

"How did Adam look?" Caity asked. "He's SO hot!"

"Hell yea!" I agreed. "I wish I gave him a hug though but still, I have his fucking number! Dude!"

"Speaking of Adam and Bluesfest…Jael performed." Evan said and I looked at him.

"You did?" They all asked and I nodded.

"Evan recorded it while he was singing backup. Adam forced me to sing at least one song. Of course, we didn't have anything ready so I just went out there and did a cover of one of Breaking Benjamin's song on the piano."

"Let us see!" Lisa and Jess yelled in unison and I laughed. I took the camera out of my bag and went to the video.

As we were watching it, everybody laughed at the beginning of the video when Adam first pushed me onstage and basically all the other funny parts that the audience laughed at too.

After the video, everyone gave me a hug.

"Jael, that was SO GOOD!" Caity said and I laughed.

"More like amazing!" Demi said. "I can't wait till your album comes out!"

"Me too!" I agreed and they laughed. "Oh, and I met this chick, her name is Jac and she designs bracelets and t-shirts and stuff. And look!" I showed them my bracelet and they all laughed. "She's a LOST fan too! And she's really cool. I got her number and promised her that we would hang out some time."

We talked some more but soon it was time to get ready for the show tonight. Caity and Kiwi took me to my dressing room. When I walked in, there was a black leather couch, a small TV, a few snacks, my suitcases, and my outfit for tonight's show hanging on a rack.

"The guys' stylist put this together for you for tonight's show." Caity said. "We know you would never wear it but it fits the theme of the tour and it kinda matches what everyone else is wearing." I shrugged.

"Whatever. Get out so I can change real quick." I told them.

"Well excuse me!" Kiwi said and I laughed.

"Would you guys' please leave my dressing room so I can strip?"

"Whoo!" He said jokingly and I laughed as I pushed them out. I closed the door, locked it, and changed. Afterwards, I unlocked the door and they walked back in. I took out my curling iron and make up, did my make up really quickly then started curling my hair.

A few minutes later, Joe walked in.

"Hey," He said as he walked to me and gave me a kiss. "You excited for tonight?"

"Yea but I'm freakin nervous as anything!" He laughed.

"The Veronicas already started and after them, Demi's going, then Connect 3 will go and This Is Me will cut in between Connect 3's song list then after that, we'll finish the rest of our songs."

"Alright." A few seconds later, my phone started ringing. I put the curling iron down and went to get it from my purse. I took it out and answered it. "Hello?"

"_Jael!"_

"Megs! What's up? I miss you!"

"_I miss you too! And I wanted to wish you luck for your first show tonight. I wish I was there to see it, though."_

"Thanks, and I wish you were here too. Hopefully we'll do a show wherever you'll be and you can come see it."

"_Yea! That would be awesome. Hey, can you put me on speaker. I want to say hey to everybody."_

"Sure." I pushed the speaker button and set the phone down so I could finish my hair. "You're on. Caity, Kiwi, Joe, come here. Megs wants to talk to you." They all walked over.

"_Hey guys!"_

"Hey Megs!" They all said in unison. "How are you doing?" Joe asked.

"_I'm doing good. It's really boring here without you guys, though. But I hang out with Selena and Miley sometimes so it's all good."_

"Awesome." Kiwi said. "How's the Voodoo Knife Set?" She laughed.

"_It's fine. When Miley and Selena saw it, they bust out laughing. It was hilarious. When they first walked in my apartment, they froze and I'm like, what? I thought there was a bug or something and I'm flipping out! But then they started laughing and said it was cause of the knife set."_ We all laughed.

"Joe," We heard someone say at the door and we all turned around to see Nick. "Paul wants to talk to us real quick. Who're you guys' on the phone with?"

"Meaghan." Kiwi replied.

"Oh. Hey Megs!" Nick yelled so she could hear.

"_Hey Nick!"_

"Well, I got to go." Joe said. "I'll talk to you later Megs. Bye."

"Yea, Kiwi and I are gonna go see what Demi's doing. We'll see you later, Meaghan."

"_Alright, bye guys'. So what are you doing right now?"_ She asked me after everybody left the room.

"I'm doing my hair for tonight. The Veronicas are out there singing their songs then Demi's going up."

"_Sorry for stopping you. And tell Demi I said good luck. I think she's talking to Selena now, actually."_

"It's okay. I'm not going on for a while anyways. And I will."

"_Can you send me a picture of how you look when you're done your hair?"_

"Sure." I talked to her for a few more minutes when she said she had to go. After I was done with my hair, I went to Demi's dressing room cause that's where Caity and Kiwi were. I asked Caity to take a picture of me with my phone and after she did, I sent it to Meaghan.

"Demi, Meaghan told me to tell you good luck." I told her.

"So did Selena." I smiled.

"Do I look fine?" I asked.

"Girlfriend, you are lookin fine!" Demi said jokingly and we laughed.

"Awe shucks!" I said and put my index finger on my cheek and they all laughed again. A few minutes later, Joe, Nick, and Kevin walked in.

"Dems, you ready?" Joe asked her.

"Yupp. Is my band?"

"Yea, we just checked. The Veronicas aren't done yet but they're about to be so we're just making sure you are." Joe sat on the arm of the couch and I walked to him and sat on his lap.

"If I were you, I would go wait by the riser so you're not late or anything." Nick said.

"If I didn't know any better Nick, I would think you were trying to get rid of me."

"What? No! I'm just-" We all started laughing.

"I'm just fooling with you. Relax mighty tense one. I'll see you guys later."

"Good luck!" I yelled to her as she was walking out of the room and Nick left with her. "Cait, can you edit my video of Bluesfest and post it up on youtube?" I asked her.

"Sure. Where's your camera?"

"In my bag in my dressing room. Let's all just go there since Demi isn't here anymore." Kiwi, Caity, Joe, and I walked to my dressing room. I gave Caity my camera and she took her laptop out and uploaded it on there then began editing it.

"So, when I perform, how will I know when to go up there? Will someone come and get me?" I asked as I took a seat on Joe's lap on the couch, leaning my head against his chest.

"Yea, probably one of the crew." Joe replied.

"I still can't believe you guys' met Three Days Grace." Kiwi said as he grabbed the guitar that was on its stand and began strumming random chords.

"I asked if you guys' wanted to go."

"Well if I had known you were gonna meet them, then maybe I would've." I shrugged.

"Sorry. And you guys' will get to meet them eventually. Adam said he would help me and the guys' on our album so whenever that is, maybe I can introduce if he's willing to meet you."

"Are we not important enough?" Caity asked.

"No, probably not." She gasped jokingly then laughed. I smiled and looked up at Joe. He looked down at me then lowered his head to mine and gave me a kiss. After we pulled away, I put my hand on my necklace and sighed.

If only they knew what I was really feeling right now.

It was eventually time for the boys to go up. I walked with Joe, Nick, and Kevin to where they would be getting off. I wished them all good luck then gave Joe a kiss.

"Love you." He said.

"Love you too."

I went back downstairs to where the dressing rooms were and went to my bands room. There were all just chilling there. There were a couple beanbags on the floor that Matt and Jesse were sitting in and Evan was on the couch, tuning a guitar.

"Yo." I said and took a seat beside Evan.

"Hey," Jesse said. "Did C3 go up yet?"

"Yea. Just did a couple minutes ago. Some dude should come and tell us when we go up next."

"You nervous?"

"Kind of. It'll probably hit me when I get up there but oh well. I need to get used to this, right? Are you guys' nervous? I mean, you can always forget the guitar chords or the drum beats."

"Well thanks a lot, Jael!" Matt said, pretending to cry and I laughed.

"I don't think it'll be easy to forget. Since Connect 3 will be out there and we divided the guitar and bass playing so we can all play it and we don't have to play all the chords, it'll be pretty easy to remember." I nodded.

"Yea but I still have to play all the beats." Matt said.

"Sucks for you." Jesse said and snorted and Matt glared at him. Evan and I laughed.

A few minutes later, Kiwi and Caity walked in with Caity's laptop in her hands.

"Okay, I finished editing the video. How is this?" She handed me her laptop and the guys crowded around me so they could watch it too.

After the video, I stood up and gave Caity a hug.

"It's awesome!" She smiled and hugged me back.

"Hey, I helped too!" Kiwi said and I laughed as I gave him a hug.

"Thanks Kiwi!"

The video was so that the beginning was when I first got on the stage till I finished singing the song, then afterwards it was clips of Three Days Grace and the songs they sang with the name of the song under each part of the clip.

Caity uploaded it on my youtube then closed her laptop after it finished.

"Do you guys want to do a video?" Kiwi asked.

"Sure." Evan said.

"Thanks for suggesting AFTER I put it away." Caity said as she took it back out and we laughed. Evan, Matt, Jesse, and I sat on the couch and Kiwi and Caity brought the beanbags so they were in front of the couch. Caity set the laptop on the table in front of us and brought up photo booth and began recording.

"Heeeeeyyyyy!!!!!" Caity said.

"Hello, hello, hello!" Matt said afterwards.

"Hey guys'." I said. "How are you all? Umm, well, today is the first night of the Burnin' Up Tour. The Veronica's and Demi already went up and Connect 3 just went up a few minutes ago. Some of you guys' may have seen the video that we just posted up. YES it is true, me and the guys met Three Days Grace and it was pretty shocking and fun and I still can't believe it happened."

"They were really nice guys', probably some of the nicest guys' I have ever met. Adam, the lead singer, was actually the one who pushed me on stage, and yes, literally pushed me on stage, thanks Adam."

"You guys' should've seen Jael freaking out when Adam was walking towards us." Jesse said.

"No! Okay," We all laughed. "This is kind of embarrassing since we met Three Days Grace and stuff BUT, I've always had a crush on Adam and he was walking towards us. I mean, if any of you guys' have a crush and they're walking towards you, you will be jumping out of your skin."

"I'm still jealous you guys' actually met them." Caity said.

"Hey! We invited you and Kiwi but you said no so, it's not my fault."

"What are you guys' yelling about?" Demi said as she walked through the door.

"Demi, we're doing a video for youtube. Come say hi."

"But I'm all sweaty! I just got off stage."

"So what! Come here." She walked over and took a seat next to Evan.

"Sorry if I stink, guys'." She said and we laughed.

"How was the show, Demi?" Evan asked her.

"It was awesome. Canadian's rock!"

"WHOO!" Matt, Jesse, and I yelled at the same time cause we're all Canadian and everyone laughed.

"No, but the show was crazy! Jael, isn't it your first show tonight? Besides the one at Bluesfest and Camp Rock?"

"Yes it is. And the crowd I'm sure will be a million times bigger and I'm starting to get nervous BUT cope with me people. I'm sorry if I forget the words."

"If you guys' are here tonight, I think we'll see you at the meet and greet. Were having one, right?" Matt asked.

"Yea, I think so." Demi replied.

"Aren't they usually before the show?" Evan asked.

"Yea, but they made it after cause you guys' went to Bluesfest."

"Oh. Our bad." We laughed.

"So I think it's time to wrap this video up. I think the guys' and I will be going up soon and we gotta be ready. Don't forget to send in your questions for our questions and answer video. Put your questions on our profile youtube page thing, message it, or under the first video where we said we would do the questions and answer thing. We _will_ do one. Promise. If we have time, it'll be this week."

"Alright. Send in your questions. Bye guys'." Caity said and stopped the video and posted it online.

We all talked for a few more minutes when one of the stage crew came and told us that after the song the guys' were about to play, I would go up to play This Is Me. Even, Jesse, Matt, and I went to go to our positions and Caity and Kiwi went backstage to watch when I got on.

After Connect 3 finished their song, it was time for me to go up.

"All right guys'," I heard Joe say. "We would like to introduce you all to our very close friend, JAEL PIERCE!"

And with those words said, the stage rose and all I could see were crowds and crowds of people. My hand was wrapped around the microphone and my other hand was on my necklace. I knew my mother was watching over me. I could feel her presence right beside me and I imagined her beautiful smile drowning out the sound of the fans.


	5. God you there? It's me, Jael

The next few nights of the tour were amazing. I knew instantly what it felt like to sing live in front of thousands of people. Pure relief and probably the only way I can just get away from everything for a while.

I just got off stage at the concert in Phoenix, Arizona. I've been thinking about my mom a lot lately. As I got off stage, my eyes watered. I ran to my dressing room as the tears slid down my cheeks. I closed the door and locked it, then went to my bag, changed my clothes into sweats, a t-shirt and a hoodie, then took my journal out and began writing.

I've had a couple song ideas in my head for a while and now, they all just rushed out and I wrote and wrote.

I think it's been about an hour and I was still locked in my dressing room. I grabbed the acoustic guitar and started making the music for a couple of the songs I wrote.

After a while, I heard a knock on the door.

"Jael, you okay?" It was Demi. I sniffed and wiped away my tears.

"Uhh, yea. I'm fine." She could probably tell I was lying.

"You've been in there for a while. Are you sure everything is okay?" I set the guitar aside, got up and opened the door. When Demi saw me, she walked in, closed the door and pulled me into a hug. "You've been through a lot, Jael. It's okay to cry." I shook my head as we both took a seat on the couch.

"Everyone's been worrying about me and I keep trying to show them that I'm fine but I keep breaking down and I can't hold it in any longer."

"Don't hold it in. If you do, that'll just make everything worse. You have me to talk to about anything and I won't judge you for whatever you have to say. Me and everybody else are here for you. You need to know that."

"I do. But, I just feel so empty. I hate the feeling and I need something to make me feel whole again."

"Have you tried calling Luke?" I shook my head.

"I don't have his number. I have to call Carry and ask her for it."

"Well I think you should do that asap. He might be able to help and fill that empty feeling."

"How?" I asked.

"He'll treat you like a real daughter. He'll be the father you deserve and should've had from the start."

"But what if he hates me?"

"He won't. You told me that he looked shocked when he saw you before. If he hated you then he wouldn't have even looked at you or paid any attention at all." I sighed. "Call Carry and get the number from her. You don't have to call him tonight but just keep the number whenever you decide to call him." I nodded.

"Okay. Can you stay with me while I call her?"

"Of course." I took my phone out and called Carry.

"Hey Carry. Sorry for calling so late." I said when she picked up.

"_Jael, sweetie, it's okay, what's going on?"_

"Umm, you remember at the funeral when that guy was there and you didn't know who he was but my mom told you to invite him?"

"_Yes, of course. Why?"_

"Do you think I could have his number?"

"_Why? Who is he?"_ As much as I loved Carry, I couldn't tell her the real reason now. I had to lie.

"No one. I just wanted to talk to him about my mom. That's all."

"_Well, of course you can have the number. Let me get it really quick."_ After a few seconds, she told me the number and I typed it on Demi's phone just until I hung up.

"Thanks Carry."

"_Of course, Jael. Call anytime."_

"I will. Goodbye." I hung up the phone then added the number from Demi's phone to mine and saved it.

"I think the guys' are off stage now. I'm gonna go see them really quick. Wanna come?"

"Uhh, no. I'll stay here. Thanks."

When Demi left, I just sat there, staring at the number on my phone, debating whether to call or not.

"Hey," I jumped when I heard someone say and looked at the door to see Joe. He walked in, closed the door and walked to me, sitting beside me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said. "I'm just…thinking. I called Carry and got Luke's number."

"Are you gonna call him?"

"No. Not tonight. I don't know when." I closed my phone and put it next to me and wiped my tears even though my eyes were still watering. "I shouldn't be crying right now, especially since you just got off stage and the fans made you happy."

"No, it doesn't matter. Cry whenever you want. Let it out."

"I hate that I'm bringing everybody down because of my own problems."

"Jael, it doesn't matter. And you're not bringing anybody down, we're just worried about you and want to know that you're okay."

"Joe, you have to admit that ever since I came in the picture, everyone's lives got worse."

"No, that's not true. My life got SO much better because of you and everyone else gained an amazing friend that's talented and beautiful. Don't regret coming into the picture because you've done nothing but make it better." I placed my hand on my necklace as even more tears spilled out of my eyes.

"Why do I feel so bad all the time?" I cried and he pulled me into a hug as I sobbed into his chest. I put my arms around his neck and put my head on his shoulder and cried there. "I feel like I just don't belong anymore. Nothing feels right and it seems like it's all my fault."

"Nothing is your fault, Jael." He kissed the top of my head.

"I just feel so empty. Like, nothing matters anymore." He put his hands on my cheeks and wiped the tears away.

"Everything-" There was a knock on the door.

"Joe?" It was Kevin.

"What?" He asked.

"We're leaving soon." He said without opening the door, thank God.

"Okay. We'll be out soon." He turned his head back to me. "Jael, I love you so much. I need you in my life or else I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I need you." I looked him in the eyes and gave him a gentle kiss and hugged him tightly. "Let's get going?" He asked as I pulled away and I nodded.

I quickly packed my makeup and hair stuff. I put the hood from my jacket over my head and put on my sunglasses from my bag because I knew there would be paparazzi outside and I didn't want them seeing me cry.

I put my purse around my shoulders and when I was about to grab my bag, Joe took it for me. I wanted to thank him but I just couldn't talk right now and he understood that. I walked beside him as he wrapped his free arm around my waist. I leaned against his chest and we walked outside the building to the tour bus, keeping my head down at all times.

I ignored all the paparazzi questions but the flashes were giving me an insane headache.

We finally got on the bus. Everybody else had just walked on and were putting their bags where they wanted them to be. Joe set my bag down under the bunk that was under mine.

I took my hood off and put my sunglasses back in my purse. I took my purse off, threw it onto my bunk then went to the bathroom to wipe off all my makeup.

Thankfully, none of the makeup from my eyes had run down my cheeks. As I was taking the makeup off, I was still crying. I just couldn't stop. After I finished wiping it all away, I just cried and cried. I slid down the door and pulled my legs up to my chest and cried against them.

After probably about 10 minutes, I wiped my tears even though they were still falling out, and went to the back lounge because I knew nobody was there. I walked in, closed the door then got on the couch, put a pillow on my lap and sobbed into it.

After a couple minutes, the door opened and closed and I felt arms around my back. I knew it was Joe so I put my head up and placed it on his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly.

"This isn't fair! Why do I have to go through all this shit when I didn't do anything wrong?"

"Everything happens for a reason, Jael."

"Not for me. Not in my situation."

"Jael, things will get better. I promise you. You have fans and you're becoming famous and everybody loves you."

"But I want her here to go through everything with me. I want her to come on tour with me and to come to movie premiers and award shows! I need her in my life. This isn't fair at all. Why would God make me suffer like this if everything happens for a reason?"

"God has a plan for everybody. Nobody knows what's gonna happen next."

"But what if the next worst thing happens to me?"

"And what would that be?"

"I don't know." I thought. "What if you leave me?"

"I would never leave you. Ever."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. This is one decision God can't make for me."

"But I'm only making things worse for you."

"No you're not. If I'm ever mad at you, it's only because I'm worried. Never because I hate you or because I stopped loving you."

"Joe, you don't know what I used to do to myself when all this first started. I hated everything and I just…didn't want anything to do with anybody. I wanted to be invisible because nothing mattered anymore."

"Evan told me that you used to cut yourself." More tears came and I nodded. "Why?"

"Because I hated who I was. I was going through so much that I just…caused more physical pain for myself because I couldn't get rid of my emotional pain."

"You don't still do it, do you?" I shook my head.

"No. Not since Camp Rock, not since I met you. Honestly, you have made things so much better for me."

"And I will continue to do that." He kissed my cheek.

I finally stopped crying and Joe and I were just sitting there.

"When my mom got sick, it was as if the floor just fell from beneath me. And I've been running ever since. But now I can't find my way back."

"Well…maybe it's not about going back." Joe said. "Maybe it's about being right where you are."

"Maybe." I whispered, as I looked deep into Joe's eyes. He leaned in and I closed the gap between us so our lips could meet. I put my hand on the side of his face and deepened the kiss then pulled away. I leaned my forehead against his. "You're the only one that's keeping me alive right now." I whispered.

"Then that means we'll be alive forever." I smiled.

"Forever?"

"Forever."


	6. Hold On

I was going through my suitcase a few days later, trying to find something to wear when I pulled out my penguin bag. Instantly, I remembered I was supposed to give this to Selena.

I walked out of the back room and went to the living room of the bus.

"Do you guys' think we would be able to stop by the post office or something?" I asked the guys.

"Sure. What for?" Kevin asked.

"On Selena's birthday party, I was supposed to give her this bag I made a while ago but I never did so I want to send it to her."

"Oh, well, I'll just go tell the bus driver and we'll stop at the closest one." I forced a smile.

"Thanks. I'll go get it ready. Do we have any boxes?"

"Yea, I think we have one somewhere in here." Nick said. "I'll look for it."

As Kevin went to the front of the bus, Nick went to the back and began looking. I followed him and waited till he found it.

"Ahh, here you go." He pulled it out and gave it to me. "Here's tape too." I thanked him then went to the back room and put the bag inside it. I found a piece of paper and pen somewhere and began writing a letter.

_Hey Selena!_

_I forgot to give this to you before we left on tour and I hope you love it. You need to come to one of the shows and we can have an all movie night afterwards or something. Happy Birthday Beautiful :)_

_ See you soon,_

_Jael._

I folded it up and laid it on top of the sweater, then closed the box and taped it shut. Since I didn't have anything with the address on it, I just grabbed a marker and wrote it on top of the box then walked back to the living room.

"We should be there in 5 minutes." Kevin told me and I thanked him and went back to the back room and sighed.

**Joe's POV**

I was really worried about Jael. She has been acting very different ever since the day of her mom's funeral, and I understand that, but I wish there was a way I could just make her happy. Just to let me and everyone else see her smile a real smile again.

I then thought of an idea.

"Guys'," I said to Nick, Kevin, Caity, Kiwi, Matt, Evan, and Jesse. "Since Jael has been very down for a while. I think I have an idea to make her happy again, even for just a little while." They all gave me looks to go on.

"Well,"

**Jael's POV**

We made our way to the hotel after dropping off the package at the post office. Before we stepped off the bus, Kevin told us to leave our things and that someone would bring it up for us later.

As soon as we stepped off, there was SO much screaming. Joe put his arm around my waist protectively and Evan was close by my side as Matt, Jesse, and Kiwi were with Caity. We made sure we stood behind the security because they were the ones pushing the fans back. Joe, Nick, and Kevin signed a few but I didn't because they were all Connect 3 fans.

We finally got inside and up to our rooms. Like always, Joe and I shared one, Nick and Kevin shared, Kiwi and Caity, and Evan, Jesse, and Matt.

We ran into Demi on the elevator and laughed because it was really random. I noticed she gave everyone else a weird look and instantly, I felt like I was left out of something but I shook it off.

Joe and I were in our hotel room when he pulled out his laptop.

"Jael, there's a surprise for you." Joe said.

"Surprise for what?" I asked.

"Just wait." He replied and did something on his laptop. After a few seconds, he looked at me. "You ready?" I nodded, even though I wasn't sure what to expect.

Joe double-clicked something then all of a sudden, This Is Me began playing. He turned his computer screen and iTunes was opened to the iTunes store. There, it showed This Is Me…on iTunes. And it was already on the top 5 most bought songs of the week. My mouth slightly dropped open and he chuckled.

"People bought it?"

"Yea. And it's rated 5 stars too." Even though I wish it were my other music, the music that will soon be on my CD, this is still too surreal and unbelievable. I smiled.

"This is crazy."

"You're scheduled to be on Ellen and Regis and Kelly as well."

"Shut up!" He smiled and I smiled even more. "What? When?"

"The day After the Kid's Choice Awards."

"Oh My God!"

"There's another one." Joe said and I was confused again. He did another double-click then…Gotta Find You was playing. My mouth dropped even wider.

"You recorded this song?" He nodded with a smile on his face. "Wha-when?"

"It was when you weren't in the recording studio. I wanted it to be a surprise." My eyes watered a little and I smiled. He stopped the song and put his laptop to the side, then took out one of his acoustic guitars that were lying on the bed.

"_You're the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I'm singing, I need to find you, I gotta find you. You're the missing piece I need, the song inside of me, I need to find you, I gotta find you."_ He sang to me and a tear rolled down my cheek.

I moved towards him as he put the guitar down and wrapped my arms tightly around him and sniffed.

"Thank you." I whispered and kissed him on the cheek.

"Don't thank me. I'm just trying to make you happy."

"You don't need to try. Whenever I'm with you, I'm happy, even if you can't tell. I don't need any presents from you or anyone else because as long as I have you guys, then everything will be okay."

"Well, speaking of presents, our phone plan is almost expired and we're all getting new phones and we need you on our plan."

"What phone company do you guys' have?"

"AT&T." I groaned.

"AT&T sucks. Have you guys ever tried Verizon?"

"I think so. We can switch to that if you want."

"Well, I don't want to make the decisions for you guys', so if it's okay with everybody, then it's okay with me." He nodded.

"We were planning on switching anyways. Common, let's go ask them." I stood up off his lap with him following behind me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I walked to the next room and knocked. Kevin and Nick opened.

"You okay with switching to Verizon?" I asked right away.

"YES! FINALLY!" Nick said. "AT&T SUCKS!" I laughed and put my hand over his mouth.

"Shh!" I said. "Someone here can work for them."

"So. I hope they hear me! Because AT&T TRULY DOES SUCK!" I laughed again and pushed him and Kevin in the hotel room then closed the door.

"We'll go sometime this week to get them." Joe said and I nodded.

"So, what's happening today?" I asked as we walked back to our room.

"Well, in an hour, we are going to have an interview on Radio Disney. You, me, Nick, Kevin, and Demi, then we go to rehearsals for the concert tonight, we don't have a show tomorrow because of the KCA and we're off the day after as well."

"Awesome. Well, technically I'm not off the day after tomorrow cause I'm gonna be on Ellen AND Regis and Kelly, but I don't mind." He laughed.

We went to the living room and sat on the couch. He grabbed the remote and I leaned against his chest as he turned the TV on. We saw that Family Guy was on and couldn't stop laughing throughout the show.

After the second episode was over, Evan and Demi knocked on the door.

"Yo, we gotta get going." Demi said.

"Were you guys watching Family Guy?" Evan asked.

"Yupp." I replied.

"Oh man! And we had to leave now?" We laughed.

We all walked out of the hotel with Big Rob standing with us just incase some crazy fan tried attacking us or something. There was a bunch waiting outside when we walked out. Their screams were deafening.

We got inside an SUV. Big Rob sat in the front with the driver beside him and we left instantly. I was getting kind of nervous but I was excited too.

"What's the dude's name?" I asked.

"Ernie D." Kevin replied.

We got there about 10 minutes later. We stepped out of the SUV when Big Rob let us because of all the screaming fans, and walked inside. We went up an elevator to a certain floor and walked down a hallway. Big Rob quietly opened the door and we walked in. Ernie was talking into the microphone. He played a song so he could go off air.

"Hey guys!" He said. He stood up and shook all of our hands, "It's nice to meet you for the first time, Jael."

"You too Ernie."

"Alright, Joe, Kevin, Nick, Demi, and Jael, sit in any of these seats, and everyone else, sit or stand over there." The guys, Demi, and I moved to where the seats were. It was Demi, Nick, Me, Joe, and Kevin. Evan, Matt, Jesse, Caity, and Kiwi sat in the back and Big Rob stood beside them against the wall.

"On Air in 5, 4, 3, 2," One of the workers said.

"Alright everyone. Guess who's here? It's Connect 3, Demi Lovato, and Jael Pierce! We need a big round of applause." The people who worked there started clapping. "So, how're you guys' doing? I haven't seen Connect 3 in a while, and I believe this is the first time I met you, Demi."

"No, I met you at umm…" She thought.

"Oh! At the red carpet for…something." Ernie said and we all laughed. "But it's the first time I'm meeting you, Jael."

"Yes it is. It's the first time I'm meeting anybody actually so, this is nice." I laughed.

"Really? You haven't met anybody famous?"

"Well, I actually did meet quite a few people at Demi's Independence Day party. But I didn't meet, you know, an interviewer or anything." We all laughed.

"Right, cause we interviewers aren't as important, right?"

"Well…" I said and everyone laughed. "Joking! Joking!"

"So, Jael, you went to Camp Rock, correct?"

"Yes."

"And that's where you met Joe, Nick, and Kevin?"

"Yupp. And I met Caity and Kiwi there too." I pointed to where they were standing.

"I-I'm sorry, did you say Kiwi?" Everyone laughed again.

"Yes, I did. It's his nickname. Long story, don't ask."

"Wasn't going to." We laughed again. "Who are the three other guys beside Caity and Kiwi?"

"That's my band. That's Evan, guitar player, Jesse, bass player, and Matt, the drummer."

"Alright. How about you guys', Joe, Nick, and Kevin. How are you?"

"We're good. You know, still on tour but we're having a blast." Kevin said.

"Good. I was just about to ask, how's the tour going. How about for you Jael and Demi? I know this is both of your first times on tour."

"It's really fun. You know, the fans are insane and hyper as ever but you know, it's all good." Demi said and we laughed.

"Yea, I agree. I became good friends with Demi just by being on the tour with her and I also met The Veronica's too and they are two of the sweetest people I have met so far and it's all very fun."

"Any wild tour parties?" We laughed.

"No, not yet." Joe said. "We don't really have time since we're traveling constantly and as soon as you're done on stage, all you want to do is take a shower and sleep. But you never know, maybe we'll have something pretty soon." I noticed Joe gave everyone a look that apparently wasn't really supposed to be shared with me.

"Okay, moving on." I said after the silence and everyone laughed again.

"Okay, this is Ernie D. on Radio Disney. If you want to ask Demi, Joe, Nick, Kevin, OR Jael any questions or just say hi, call 1-888-327-0018." Ernie played a song.

"This is fun." I said, as we were still Off Air. "You know, I've always wanted to have my own Radio Show."

"Really?" Ernie asked.

"I think that's pretty cool." Demi said.

"Yea, there's a story to it too." I said.

"Alright, you can say it while we're On Air." I nodded. I looked over at Joe and he looked at me and we both smiled. I put my hand in his and he squeezed it. "Okay, and we are back! Jael, you said you've always wanted to have your own radio show and there was a story to it?"

"Yes. Umm, well, when I was in 7th grade, Evan, Matt, Jesse, and me we were all in Canada cause that's where we lived. Evan lived with Matt and Evan's parents lived back in Maryland. So, during winter break or something, he was going back to Maryland to visit his parents and my mom let me go with him. And he lived close by to this radio station thing and apparently his parents were friends with the hosts or something. So, one day, Evan and I went to go visit them and they let me talk live on one of their shows. And ever since then, I've always wanted to have my own radio show. Oh, and I'm Irish too, so back then, my accent was WAY heavier than it is now."

"So, you're an Irish lad?" Joe said with a terrible Irish accent and we all laughed.

"No mate, I'm an Irish lass. You're an Irish lad." I said with the real accent and everyone laughed again.

"That was pretty good, Jael." Ernie said.

"Thanks."

"She can do so many accents, it's hilarious!" Nick said. "And she can do impersonations too."

"Really? Who can you impersonate?" Ernie asked.

"I don't know. Whoever."

"Do Spongebob." Demi said and we laughed.

"Okay, umm, 'I'm Spongebob Squarepants. Lalalalala'." **(The lalala is supposed to be his laugh)**. Everyone laughed.

"Oh my god! That was hilarious!" Kevin said.

"That was awesome!" Demi said and laughed again.

"Wow, alright. Let's take some callers." Ernie said. We all stayed quiet, waiting for the line to connect. "Okay, we are talking with Ashley. Hello?"

"_Hello?"_

"Ashley you are on the air with Connect 3, Demi Lovato, and Jael Pierce."

"_OH MY GOD!" _We all laughed.

"Ashley do you have a question?"

"_Yea, umm, first, I want to say that Jael, you're impersonation and accent was really funny."_

"Thank you." I said.

"_And my question is for you. Could you do a Britney Spears impersonation?"_ I chuckled.

"Sure. Uhh, ahem, 'oops I did it again, you played with my heart, and I lost in the game, oh baby baby'." Everyone laughed again. "I think I got the lyrics wrong but, there you go."

"_No, that was really good. Thank you."_ Ashley said while still laughing.

"You're Welcome."

"Alright, next caller. Okay, this is Megan, I believe. Hello?"

"_Oh my god! Hi!"_

"Megan, do you have a question?"

"_Yes, it's for Demi. Umm, I just wanted to say to Joe, Nick, and Kevin that I love the new single and I can't wait for your album to come out in a few days."_

"Thank you." The three of them said in unison.

"_And umm, Demi, when's your album coming out?"_

"Alright, to everybody who is listening, my album is called Don't Forget and it will be coming out September 23. So don't forget to buy it. Thanks for asking."

"_Thanks for answering."_ The girl hung up and we took another call.

We answered a few more questions and talked a little bit more with Ernie.

"So guys', any plans or something you would like to share with the fans?" Ernie asked us.

"Actually, me, Nick, and Kevin will be coming out with our own show next year on Disney Channel. We'll start it after the tour. Right now, the director's are still getting the cast but stay tuned and we'll update you each time we hear something."

"Any name for it yet? Or a plot?"

"Yea but it might change. You never know, and I don't want to say something and then it change tomorrow, you know? BUT, I hear Demi is coming out with her own show too. Demi, would you like to share that with us please?" We all laughed.

"Why yes, Joe, I would. Like the boys, we will start it after tour and it should be coming out sometime next year. I would say the name of it, but we already changed it like a hundred times so, don't want to give anyone false info. But for the plot, it's basically about a girl from Wisconsin, she moves to LA to be on one of her favourite shows called So Random and her battle with the celebrity life, which is kind of like how I am now since I'm new at everything too."

"So, it's a show within a show." Ernie said.

"Yes."

"Sweet. So, looks like times up. It was very nice talking with you guys and very nice to meet you Jael."

"Thank you very much, Ernie. It was nice meeting you too."

"Have a nice day guys' and hopefully, you all can come back again for another Radio Disney interview."

"Sure, we would love that." Nick replied.

Ernie played a song so we were Off Air. He shook our hands, goodbye, and we all left. We went straight to sound check from where we were and was so tired.

"Gosh, I'm tired." I said as I lay on the couch in my dressing room. Joe walked over to me, lifted my head up and sat down so my head was now on his lap. It was only the two of us in my dressing room, just chilling.

"You're gonna have to get used all the business. You're famous now which means more interviews, meetings, waking up early, hardly any sleep at night, and a lot more."

"Ugh." I said as I took the couch pillow and covered my face with it. Joe chuckled and took the pillow away from my face and replaced it with a kiss to my lips. When he pulled away, I smiled. "Thanks. I needed it."

"Anytime." I laughed when I heard a knock on the door.

"JAEL!" I heard Jess and Lisa say as they were pounding on the door. I groaned again and put the same pillow over my face. Joe laughed again and told Jess and Lisa to come in.

I moved the pillow from my face so I could look at them.

"Sorry to interrupt," Lisa said.

"But don't make plans tonight. Both of you." Jess said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Cause we're gonna hang out. Go to the movies or something."

"So don't make plans!" Lisa said as her and Jess backed away from the door. "We're gonna go to the hotel to shower and stuff after the concert then we're leaving."

"Alright." Joe said and they left. I stood up and grabbed my laptop, then sat back down next to Joe. I went on twitter to change my status.

_In my dressing room backstage after sound check, chillin with Joe._

I went on youtube to check my subscriptions when I saw that I had a video sent to me by Selena. I clicked on it and Selena and Cody Linley came up with Cody beat boxing.

_uh uh uh,_

_yo, Jael we be missing you so badly_

_its your boy Co and your girl Selena rhyming_

_it's been crazy cuz I think she's on her monthly_

_but its okay because she is my besty_

_so we're rapping here today to see how the tour is going_

_how is DL and C3 without me?_

_cuz I bet they be missing ME so badly_

_Am I right? Am I right? I know I am cuz ha, im me_

_Cody Lin-ley_

_so we're gonna end this rap that's so wack but you know you love us for trying_

_we love ya, we miss ya, and we hope you aint cryin_

_dont pout dont frout because everybody loves ya_

_ha, but not as much as they love me_

_cuz im me, Cody lin-ley_

_im just kidding even tho im probably right_

_so ima end this with a farewell and a goodnight_

_oh, and by the way I did say 'frout'_

_I made it up, so go check it out_

_wicky wicky wicky wicky PEACE!_

"_JAAAAAAAEEEEEEELLLL!!!"_ Selena and Cody yelled at the same time. _"WE MISS YOU AND DEMI AND THE GUYS!!!!!!!!!"_

"_Miley and Meaghan miss you too." _Selena said._ "And Roshon and J-Man and everybody else."_

"_Hey, Hey,"_ Cody said. _"It's Ro. Like, the Ro and Co Show? You know, on youtube?"_ Selena stared at him like he was crazy and Joe and I laughed.

"_Anyways!"_ Selena said and I laughed again. _"Forget about the tour and come back here and hang out with us!!"_ She whined. _"OH! I got the penguin bag and I LOVE it. Thank you so much for it! That's all I use when I go out, even if it doesn't match what I'm wearing." _I smiled. _"And yes, we do have to have a movie night. All of us, even the guys'."_

"_And me too."_ Cody said.

"_Pshh, yea right. And I'm not on my monthly, thank you very much! I think you're mistaking me FOR YOUR MOTHER!!!! OOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!!"_ Joe and I bust out laughing. I had to pause the video from how much we were laughing.

Finally, after we relaxed a bit, I played it again

_ "Haha-haha, dude I totally just pwned you. So, back to what I was saying before SOMEBODY rudely interrupted me,"_ Selena said, looking at Cody. _"We need to have a movie night and I hope I see you and everyone else really soon."_

_ "Same here."_ Cody said.

_"We love you very very much. Bye!"_ And the video ended. I laughed again and sighed.

"I love them." I closed my laptop and put it on the table, then leaned my head on Joe's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I cuddled into his chest.

I started thinking about stuff and automatically, my hand moved up to my necklace and I clutched it tight in my hand.

"What are you thinking about?" Joe asked me and I sighed.

"Everything." I waited a bit. "Joe, do you believe God does everything for a reason?"

"I do. Do you?"

"I do…did."

"Did?"

"If God does everything for a reason, then why did he do this to me? I am grateful for everything in my life right now, and I'm glad this is how my life turned out, but why did he have to take my mom out of the picture? He knows how much I loved her and how much I wanted her to get better, so why would he do this?"

"I can't answer that. Nobody can except him." I looked down at my hands and began chipping the nail polish off my nails. "Jael, why are you asking me these questions? Are you questioning if there actually is a God?" I looked at him through my watery eyes.

"No. I know there's a God but I'm questioning if he's as mighty as everyone puts him out to be. When my mom was sick, I prayed all the time for her to get better. I did everything I could, I even dropped out of school for a bit just so I could help her, but God didn't do anything. She only got worse and now she's gone."

"How am I supposed to believe that there actually is a God if he doesn't help the people who pray the most?" Tears were sliding down my cheeks. "Joe, I love you. And I'm sorry if you don't want to hear this, but it's what I'm thinking. I am sharing the thoughts that I've had locked inside me for two years because I was so afraid that it was true. I didn't want to believe any of it. And I'm afraid God did this to her, just because I questioned him. What if he's punishing me just because I wasn't sure if he's even there." Joe scooted closer towards me and wrapped his arms around me. I put my head on his shoulders and cried.

"Nobody understands what I'm going through. And sometimes, I feel like falling apart." I sobbed. "I don't want to go through this anymore, Joe. I'm sick and tired of all these questions popping in my head and not getting any answers to them at all. If God is really there, then why is he making me suffer like this?"

"I can't answer all your questions, but what I do know is that there is a God and I really do believe he's as big as everyone says. And he's not punishing you. God punishes the guilty, not those with questions. Just because you were curious about why he didn't help your mom, doesn't mean he is punishing you for even thinking he was ignoring you."

"But I do know what you're going through. Both of my parents died, Jael. And I was so angry with God that I didn't even care about anything or anyone anymore. That's why I became a jerk, because I blocked myself from the world and just stayed wrapped in my own bubble. Till this day, I don't know why they died. I don't know why God did this to them or me. I always thought, 'Why not somebody else's parents?' But then I realized that God doesn't do anything we can't handle. If you couldn't handle your mom's death, then this wouldn't have happened. You're strong enough to move on. Like how I was to move on and to open myself up to you and the world again."

"I understand your questions and I'm not judging you by them. Even if God is everything your asking, and did everything you think he did, you still have me. I will never judge what you have to say, Jael. Even if you stop believing in God permanently, I will still love you the same and always will. Whenever you have something on your mind, speak out don't hold back. No matter what anyone's reaction is."

"But you just don't get it." I said. "I'm not strong enough to deal with this. I didn't even get to say goodbye."

"If you guys were as close as you and the guys are telling me you were, then just know she loves you. She gave you the necklace so she could be with you at all times. She is proud of you, Jael. Now all she needs you to do is move on and let go. You are making yourself have this burden on your shoulders that's not needed." More tears were coming out now. I leaned into his chest and cried.

"I'm trying. I promise you, I'm trying to move on but I can't. It's so hard for me to let go."

"I know it is. But just promise me you won't give up. It will be hard at first, everything is, but if you allow yourself to move on and stop clinging to everything you have left of her, then it will become easier." I sighed and looked him in the eyes.

"I don't know if I can."

"But I do. I'm not telling you to forget about her. I'm telling you to move on and let go of your past. What happened in the past is the past. Now forget about everything that happened back then and just focus on right now. Just right this moment and let everything else go." I took a deep breath.

"Promise me you'll try."

"I promise."


	7. I Miss You

While the guys' were singing, I decided to just sit backstage and watch them till it was my turn to go on stage. While Joe began singing Gotta Find You, I went under the stage so I could be ready to get on the rising part of the stage.

When the song finished, the stage lowered and I stepped on.

"Now, we would like to introduce our good friend, Jael Pierce!" Kevin said and the stage rose. I stood up as the stage got higher and smiled when I saw the crowd.

_I've always been the kind of girl_

_That hid my face_

_So afraid to show the world_

_What I've got to say_

_But I have this dream_

_Right inside of me_

_I'm gonna let it show_

_It's time to let you know_

_To let you know_

_This is real_

_This is me_

_I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now_

_Gonna let the light_

_Shine on me_

_Now I've found_

_Who I am_

_There's no way to hold it in_

_No more hiding who I wanna be_

_This is me_

_Do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark?_

_To dream about a life_

_Where you're the shining star_

_Even though it seems_

_Like it's too far away_

_I have to believe in myself it's the only way_

In my peripheral vision, I saw people walking out from the side of the stage. I turned my head and almost screamed from who I saw. It was Meaghan, Selena, Cody, Miley, and Demi, Caity, Kiwi, and Jess&Lisa with them. I smiled so widely as I was singing and they were dancing randomly.

I laughed as I was singing and looked at Joe. He smiled at me and lip said 'I love you' to me. I nodded, letting him know I loved him too and it was now his turn to sing.

_You're the voice I hear inside my head_

_The reason that I'm singing_

_I need to find you_

_I gotta find you_

_You're the missing piece I need_

_The song inside of me_

_I need to find you_

_I gotta find you_

_This is real_

_This is me_

_I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now_

_Gonna let the light_

_Shine on me, yea_

_There's no way to hold it in_

_No more hiding who I wanna be_

_This is me_

_You're the missing piece I need_

_The song inside of me_

_This is me, yea_

_Now I've found who I am_

_There's no way to hold it in_

_No more hiding who I wanna be_

_This is me_

The crowd cheered and I smiled at Joe, looking him deep in the eyes. After a few seconds, I turned to everyone that ran on the stage. As soon as I saw Meaghan, I ran to her and gave her the biggest hug. My eyes watered and we both laughed. I gave Cody, Miley, and Selena a huge hug too then I gave Jess, Lisa, and Demi a hug.

"Umm," I said into the microphone and laughed. "Guys, I want to introduce you to probably the few most amazing people ever. Of course, you all know Selena Gomez and Miley Cyrus." The audience cheered. "And this amazing person right here is one of my closest friends ever. Her name is Meaghan Martin." The audience cheered again. "And a few other of my closest friends here is Caitlyn and Kiwi."

"I'm gonna be honest, in the past couple of weeks, I've been going through a lot. But this is probably the best night I've had out of this whole tour." The audience cheered extra loud and I smiled. "And it's all thanks to Demi, The Veronicas, Connect 3, my band, and Caity and Kiwi. If it weren't for them then none of this would've happened. And of course, I want to thank you guys for an awesome show. Thank you so much and enjoy the rest of your night." We all got off the stage except for Connect 3 so they could finish their concert.

As soon as we got backstage, we met Justin, Miley's boyfriend there waiting for us, and then when we went to my dressing room; I gave Megs and everybody else another hug.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"Joe said that you've been pretty sad and decided to fly us in because he knew it would make you happy." Meaghan said.

"And because we love you very much." Miley said as she walked towards me and wrapped her arms around my neck and I laughed. We all went to the couch and sat down. "Hey, are you gonna be going to the KCA tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Umm, I was actually gonna do something else. And I really want to be there for you, I'm sorry, but I have to do something that's kind of important."

"It's okay. You can always watch it on TV." I smiled.

"Thanks Miles."

We all sat around and talked. I told them about the letter my mom left me, saying that the man I grew up with, thinking was my father, actually wasn't.

"Wow. That's a lot to take in just a letter." Lisa said.

"What are you gonna do?" Selena asked.

"That's why I didn't want to go to the KCA. I was gonna call him tonight or tomorrow and see if I could make plans to meet with him." They all nodded.

"Babe, I think you should do anything just to get to know more about your real dad." Jess said. "Honestly, if I were in your situation, I would even cancel concerts just to know more about my past life."

"Yea, same here." Lisa agreed. "Not to be careless about the fans or anything." I chuckled. "This whole situation is far more important than the tour anyways."

"I know." A few seconds later, Nick, Kevin, and Joe walked in. I stood up and went straight into Joe's arms. I pecked him on the lips then gave him a hug. "Thank you, Joe. I know you did all this for me."

"Anything for you."

"Get a room you two!" Nick said and we all laughed. I pretended to kick him then laid my head on the crook of Joe's neck and wrapped my arms around his waist. I looked back at everybody else. Miley was cuddled with Justin, and Demi was cuddled with Cody but when I looked at Selena, she looked kind of sad hugging a pillow against the couch.

I poked Joe and he looked at me. I nodded my head towards Selena and he understood what I meant instantly. We both ran over to her and jumped next to her on either side of the couch. I wrapped my arms around her and Joe wrapped his arm around both of us. I squeezed Selena tight.

"Selena smile! You don't need a boyfriend. Guys' are stupid anyways." I told her and she laughed.

"I know, they're such jerks!" Joe said, pretending to be gay and everybody bust out laughing.

"See! And plus, why would you want one when you have us? I mean, I love you so so so much! You love me too, right?" Selena laughed again.

"Yes I do."

"Yay!" I said and kissed her on the cheek. I stood up and ran to the door. "Alright guys', I don't know about you but I'm not in the mood to be depressed right now. So, let's go to the hotel and shower and go party or something before it wears off." Everyone laughed and got up.

We got to the hotel and everyone showered [except for Miley, Justin, Selena, Meaghan, and Cody].

When I was done showering, I got ready and went to Demi's room cause that's where Selena, Meaghan, Miley, Justin, and Cody were.

I took a seat on the couch beside Meaghan and Selena. We all talked a bit and a few minutes later, Demi came out.

"Hey, you sexy beast! Come over here!" I said to her and everyone laughed. Demi walked over and sat beside Cody on the other couch. "When are we leaving?"

"Whenever everyone's ready." Demi replied.

"I'm gonna go see if the others are done. Be right back." I got up and went to my room that I was sharing with Joe. When I walked in, Joe was just in skinny jeans, without a shirt. I couldn't help but smile.

"Geez, trying to make me pass out? Put a shirt on!" I told him. He looked up at me and smiled. I went over to him wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a kiss. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me back.

It soon started to get heavy. I broke the kiss and laughed.

"You're killing me." I whispered to him.

"I thought you said I was the only one keeping you alive." I laughed again. He wrapped his arms even tighter around my waist and buried his head in the crook of my neck.

"Joe, you have to finish getting ready!" I said as I pushed him away.

"Fine." He grumbled and I laughed. He put his shirt on then pulled me towards him, gave me another kiss, then after he grabbed his things, we went to my bands room.

"You guys ready?" I asked. Matt just pulled a shirt over his head and Evan was lying on the couch, flipping channels on the TV.

"Yupp." Evan said.

"Where's Jesse?" I asked.

"In the bedroom, getting ready."

We all joined Evan on the couch, waiting for Jesse. He came out a few minutes later.

"Dude, what took you so long?" I asked.

"I'm sorry! I had to blow dry my dreads. You know I can't leave them wet." I laughed and we all got up and went to Demi's room. Kevin and Nick were already there and I also saw Brad there too.

"Is Jess and Lisa ready?" Joe asked.

"Yea, they'll be here in a second." Kevin said. "But I won't be coming with you guys."

"Why not?" Miley asked.

"Cause my girlfriend, Danielle, is flying in and I'm gonna go pick her up."

"Oh. Well, you're gonna be missing out on one hell of a fun night."

"Yea, I know. But there'll be other hell of a fun nights, right?"

"Pshh, duhh!" I said. "We'll take pictures and videos so it's like you're there too." He laughed.

"Okay, thanks Jael." He walked over and gave me a hug. I smiled and Jess and Lisa walked in.

"You guys ready?" Lisa asked. We explained to them why Kevin wasn't coming then left.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To the movies." Miley said.

"Which movie are we seeing?"

"Stepbrothers."

We made our way to the theater. Before we stepped out of the car, we put our sunglasses on. Since it was a little chilly outside, I wrapped my jacket tightly around myself and Joe put his arm around my shoulder.

"I feel so important." I said. "It's like we're the Matrix with our badass sunglasses." Everyone laughed.

We walked inside the theater, bought our tickets, got some junk food, then went to take our seats, watching the previews and talking quietly with each other.

We were seated so that I was at the end [by the wall], Joe next to me, Meaghan, Selena, Demi and Cody, and Miley and Justin. Then in front of us were Jess and Lisa, Evan, Matt, and Jesse, with Brad, Caity and Kiwi sitting at the end [in front of me].

I lifted the armrest up so I could lean against Joe and he put his arm around me. I looked up into his eyes and he looked down into mine.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered back. He leaned in and placed his lips to mine. I put my hand on the side of his cheek then felt something covering us. I pulled away and Miley's jacket was over our faces. I took it off of us and threw it back at her.

"You guys better watch the movie!" She whispered. We laughed and I cuddled back into Joe's arms.

Eventually, the movie finally started and everyone in the theater couldn't stop laughing from start to finish. After the movie was over, Demi started calling Miley Night Hawk and Miley called Demi Dragon. Me and Meaghan don't even know how this happened, but I started calling her Tiger and she began calling me Panda. It was so random; we were probably drunk from all the junk food we ate during the movie.

We were gonna go have dinner now. Lisa and Jess told us about this really good Vegan restaurant so we decided to go. Of course, the food was amazing. And as I promised Kevin, I took pictures and videos on the way to the restaurant, in the restaurant, and on our way back to the hotel.

It was pretty late by the time we got back. Kevin and Danielle were asleep and we were all very tired so we decided to go to bed.

Joe and I went into our room. I was so tired; I didn't even want to take a shower. I decided to take one in the morning. I changed into my sleeping clothes, which were shorts and one of Joe's t-shirts. Of course, it was way too big but I didn't care. It was comfy.

I cuddled in the bed into Joe's arms, who was already changed by the way, and couldn't help but smile to myself.

I was thinking about what would happen tomorrow. Joe, Nick, Kevin, Miley, Selena, and Demi would pretty much be doing interviews all day and then had to get ready for the KCA's then go back in the afternoon for the red carpet.

I, on the other hand, had nothing to do tomorrow. I wasn't going to the KCA's. I would be here at the hotel with Meaghan, Justin, Brad, Cody, and my band, and Caity and Kiwi wanted to go to the award show.

Then, Luke came to mind and all of a sudden, something washed over me. It was as if nothing even happened tonight and I just went back to my depressed, moody self like before. I sighed and felt my eyes water.

I had to call him. And…meet up with him or something. Shit. I sighed.

None of this would be happening if my mom just didn't die. I don't understand why she had to go. Ever since she left, I don't even want to live anymore.

The only reason I'm still alive now is because of Joe. I couldn't imagine what I would do if he left me, and it's probably the same for him. But what if he finds out about what Josh was talking about? I love Joe, but if I really love him then none of this would be a problem. I would tell him the truth and he would still love me.

But I can't. He will think I'm crazy and never talk to me again. I don't want to risk that. I don't want to risk losing him.

I hadn't realized it, but tears were running down my cheeks and staining my pillow. I wiped them away and turned over so I could watch Joe sleep. He was so peaceful. Like a child. Why would anybody let a child go through this?

I'm forcing Joe to go through what I'm going through. I can't do this to him. I can't do this to anybody.

I placed my hand on Joe's and slowly picked it up and kissed it. Then I laid on my back and the tears just fell out. Everybody was doing all this to make me happy and all I'm doing is not being grateful for any of it.

I put both my hands over my mouth so I wouldn't wake Joe from my sobs. I didn't want him to think he did all of tonight for nothing.

For some reason, the tears wouldn't stop. I slowly got up and went to the living room and let the sobs come out freely. I sat down, put a pillow on my lap, put my head over it and cried even more but the sobs were quieter. Muffled.

I decided to walk out on the balcony. I looked over at the beautiful view of Manhattan and all these memories of me and my mom rushed to me, as if it was happening right now.

_I gasped._

"_Mommy, look at that camera! It's a Polaroid and it's purple!" My nine-year-old voice said excitedly. She laughed at me. I never understood why parents laughed when children talked._

"_Do you like it?" She asked me._

"_Yea!"_

"_Well, I don't have the money for it now but, if you are good you can have it on your birthday." I sighed._

"_You promise?"_

"_Promise. But you have to promise me something?"_

"_Of course!"_

"_You can't mention anything about this to Daddy."_

"_Okay.. but why?"_

"_Because…we're gonna surprise him too. It'll be our little secret, okay?"_

"_Okay." I nodded._

_I believed her. Why did I believe her?_

_She wanted to keep it a secret because she knew he would yell at her. And hit her. And blame her. And abuse her. And fuck her. And use her. And rape her. And kill her._

"_Mommy?" My ten-year-old voice asked._

"_Yes, lovebird?"_

"_I don't want you to get mad at me, but why were you crying earlier? Before we left?" I noticed her eyes watering._

"_Was it because of Daddy?" I whispered. "It's okay Mommy, I won't tell anybody. I promise." She looked deep into my eyes and smiled as the tears slid down her cheeks._

"_Jael, can you promise me something?" Whenever she used my name, I knew it was because of something serious._

_I always listened._

"_Anything mommy."_

"_If something ever happens and I'm not there and you're left alone with daddy, if he ever does anything bad to you, I want you to run. Hide somewhere; run somewhere, I don't care. As long as you're safe and you feel safe, then that's all that matters. Okay?"_

"_Okay mommy. I promise."_

"_Mom?" My 12-year-old voice said shakily to her as I walked into her room. She was reading a book and as soon as she saw that I was crying, she closed her book and held her arms wide open for me. I walked into her arms and cried on her shoulder._

"_What is it lovebird? What's wrong?"_

_I never cried. I only cried if it was something serious or I had intense boy troubles at school._

_Never if I lost something or broke something._

_Only if I disappointed my mother._

_I didn't answer and she got even more worried._

"_Did you get in a fight with Evan?" Evan. My boyfriend. My best friend._

"_No." I couldn't talk. I was scared and my crying just go heavier and heavier. "Mom, I don't know how to say it."_

"_Can you write it for me?" I nodded. I can only write._

_Incidents like this have happened before._

_Not necessarily like this, but that I had to write it down because I couldn't say it._

_She pulled out a mini marker board from her side table drawer and handed it to me. I was scared._

_I couldn't write it. I couldn't do this._

"_Jael, please tell me what's going on." My mother said calmly to me. I nodded and wrote,_

_**dad touched me .**_

"_What?" She was shocked. And scared. I didn't look into her eyes. I couldn't._

_**he raped me .**_

_ She took the board out of my hand and put it down beside her. She put my arms in hers, ignoring the cut marks from a few weeks ago that I already talked to her about, and made me look her in the eyes._

"_Tell me what happened." She demanded._

"_It was when you were at work." I cried. "He came into my room when I was drawing. He looked angry and," I couldn't talk because a sob slipped out. "I got scared. I thought he was going to hit me but instead, he pushed me onto my bed. I was confused because I didn't know what he would do._

"_But then I smelt the beer in his breath. He got on top of me and I tried pushing him off but I couldn't. He was too heavy." More tears came._

"_Take your time, lovebird."_

"_He yanked my shorts and underwear down and I couldn't move. I tried pushing him off and I was screaming and crying but I couldn't do anything. Then he," She wrapped her arms around me._

_God, I love her._

"_It hurts mommy. It hurts a lot." I said into her shoulder and began sobbing._

"_I know it does, sweetie. The pain will go away soon. I promise. Dad's not here right now. Go take an Advil and I'll be right down." I nodded and even thought it hurt, I painfully made my way down the steps and did as I was told._

"_Are you crazy?" I heard my mother yell to my father later that night. I went to the steps and sat on them so I could hear what was going on._

"_What?" He asked as if nothing happened._

"_What do you mean, 'What'? You raped her! How dare you rape her? How dare you touch her?!"_

"_I don't know what you're talking about." I heard a clink, which meant he took a beer out of the fridge. Again._

"_Josh! Why the hell would you do that?"_

"_I didn't rape her! Whatever she told you, she's lying."_

"_No, Josh! You're the liar you sick and disgusting bastard!" It was quiet for a second then all of a sudden, I hear a loud POP._

"_Don't you dare, ever call me that again."_

"_Why did you do it? Why would you do that to her? You abuse us enough, now the rape?"_

"_Shut up!" This was getting crazy. When I got down the steps, he was hitting her. I ran over to him and tried pushing him away._

"_Stop it!" I screamed._

_He didn't listen._

_He pushed me to the ground and continued hurting my mom. "Leave her alone!" I begged. I stood up again, ignoring the pain, and tried pushing him again. He didn't flinch. I pushed my mom to the ground and punched him as hard as I could. "Leave her alone." I repeated with tears sliding down my cheeks._

_He didn't move. He was holding his cheek. Honestly, my fist hurt like hell. I turned to my mom and she was shocked too. I helped her up and took her upstairs. She went straight to my room, taking a duffle out of my closet._

"_What are you doing?" I asked her._

"_We're going to Mrs. Colburn's house."_

_Mrs. Colburn was Jesse's mom. My mom and I were close with their family; they've allowed us to go over there whenever we needed to. It was just Jesse and his mom because his dad was on a business trip. Jesse was one of my closest friends. He's the only one that knows._

"_What happened this time?" Jesse asked me._

_Jesse is one of my three best friends of this year. He got blonde dreads. How awesome is that?_

"_Worse than ever before." I said as I was pacing back and forth in his room._

"_Jael, chill. What did he do?"_

"_I-I can't say."_

"_Jael, we're best friends. What do you mean you can't tell me?"_

"_I just…can't."_

"_Why not?!" He was starting to piss me off._

"_Because I can't!"_

"_Why?"_

"_FUCK, JESSE! Just Fuck! I can't tell you! Not now. I just, I need a friend right now. I don't want to fight or yell. Just be my friend."_

_He stood up and pulled me into a hug as I cried into his chest._

I didn't realize it, but tears of massive size were running down my cheeks. I was freezing outside and I don't even know how long I've been out here for.

I turned around and walked back into the room, closing the balcony door behind me. I wiped my tears and tried relaxing so I could stop crying.

I quietly went back into the bedroom and got back in bed. This time, I lay so that my head was against Joe's chest. Automatically, his arm went around me and right now in this very moment,

I felt safe.

**I think this is the best chapter I've ever written. I don't know. I love it. The part when she's having the flashbacks. Anyways, please review guys. Only one person has been reviewing and I appreciate it, but more would be nice. Thank you.**


	8. Her Grave

It reached around 4:30 AM and I still couldn't sleep. I decided to go take a walk. Slowly, I removed Joe's arm from around me then went to the closet and put some jeans on and a pull over hoodie. I walked to the living room and grabbed a paper and pen so I could write Joe a letter, telling him not to worry when he wakes up.

When I finished, I put it on my spot of the bed, grabbed my journal and phone, then quietly walked out of the hotel room and went outside. It was pretty cold outside so I crossed my arms tightly over my chest, and walked straight to my destination, keeping my head down the whole time.

When I looked up, I was at my mother's grave. I crouched down on my knees and instantly, my eyes began to water. I opened my journal to an empty page and started to write.

It's been a few hours since I came. I looked at my phone and it read 7:30 AM.

As I was writing, I've been crying the whole time. I figured I should get back to the hotel so I stood up, took one last look at the grave. When I was about to turn around, I heard something and looked behind me.

I froze.

"Jael?"

"…Luke."


	9. Kids Choice Awards

"Y-you're here." He stuttered.

"I am. I've been planning to call you." I told him as I walked closer. "To talk…and stuff." It was quiet for a little bit.

"You look just like her." I blinked as I felt tears coming to my eyes.

"I know." We were just standing there, staring at each other. "U-uhm, do you think we can meet up some time. Today or tomorrow or something. You know, so we can talk?"

"Umm, I don't know. I'm gonna be leaving soon. I…have a family-"

"A family? You-you're married?" He nodded. Something washed over me and tears filled my eyes. "You have kids?"

"Two girls." I nodded.

"Umm, forget it, then. I-I have to go." I turned around, about to leave before he stopped me.

"Wait," I looked at him. "You're mother, she got married. Did her husband treat you good?" I looked at him in the eyes and smiled.

"No."

I made my way back to the hotel and walked inside the bedroom and saw Joe grabbing his shirt and putting it on. When he saw me, he noticed I had tears in my eyes and walked over to me and gave me a hug. I burst into tears and he tightened his arms around me.

"What happened?" We sat down on the bed and I leaned my head against his shoulder. I explained to him what happened and he was comforting me the whole time.

"She said I could trust him. But he has his own life now. I can't just jump in and cause him more burden." Joe was rubbing his hand up and down my arm.

"Jael, you know that I'm here and all your friends. We're all here and we all love you." I relaxed a little and looked up at him.

"I know. I'm just tired of all this crap happening in my life. It seems like it'll never end." Joe kissed the side of my head.

"Why don't you get some sleep. It's still pretty early so you can sleep a few hours." I nodded.

"Okay." I gave Joe a deep and passionate kiss. I laid down on the bed with the blanket over me and Joe laid down next me, over the blankets. I cuddled into his chest as he wrapped his arm around me, and he just stayed there with me till I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was kind of confused. You know when you have a dream, and you know it was weird, but you don't remember a thing about it even though you really want to? All I remember is birds. Birds?

I got up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. When I was done, I let my hair air-dry. I walked over to Meaghan's room and knocked on the door. A few seconds later, she opened the door.

"Morning tiger." She laughed and I gave her a hug. She let me in and we both sat in her living room. I told her what happened last night and this morning with Luke.

"I'm really sorry, Jael." I smiled.

"I'm hearing that way too much." She laughed. "Hey, I was thinking if you, me, Justin, Cody, Caity, and Kiwi all went out later. To shop or something."

"Cool. I'm all for it. Justin and Cody are awake already. They woke up pretty early to say bye to Miley and Demi. But I'm not sure about Caity or Kiwi."

"Well, let's go find out." I went to their room and opened it with the key I had. They were both still asleep.

"You know what'll get them up?" I asked. "Coffee. I want some anyways. Do you want to come with me to Starbucks?"

"Sure. I'll go get ready real quick and meet you back at your room." I nodded.

I was just wearing sweats and a t-shirt so I grabbed a hoodie, put my shoes on, and ran back into Caity and Kiwi's room to get their car keys. When Meaghan was ready, we both asked Justin and Cody what they wanted then left. Since she actually had her license, I let her drive just in case we got caught.

"When do you plan on getting your license?"

"I don't know. Really soon, hopefully. I'm gonna wait till after the tour though cause I can't really take it if we're gonna keep going from city to city." She nodded.

We made our way to Starbucks, ordered the drinks, then went back to the hotel. We went to Demi's room where Cody and Justin were. We gave them their drinks then sat down on the couch. I asked them if they wanted to hang out later and they said yes.

"Is everyone else still asleep?" I asked.

"Yea." Justin replied.

"They probably won't wake up till like, five." They laughed.

We talked for a bit more and finally, Caity and Kiwi woke up. We told them we were gonna go out later and asked if they wanted to come.

"Nahh. I have to get ready for tonight."

"Yea, same here." Kiwi agreed as I gave each of them their coffee.

"It's just the Kid's Choice Awards. It's not like you're meeting the queen."

"So! We want to look good. Plus, the red carpet is soon. And I heard Josh Holloway was gonna be there." Caity said and my mouth dropped.

"You're lying!"

"Nope."

"Holy shit! You have to like, sneak a picture or take a video or something!"

"Wait, who's Josh Holloway?" Cody asked and I gasped as I looked at him.

"You don't watch Lost, do you?" He shook his head and I sighed.

"We have a lot of work to do. You're lucky I have seasons one through four in my bag. Anyways," I looked back at Caity.

"Don't worry! I was gonna take a video and post it on youtube anyways."

"Good. Okay, umm, we're gonna go get ready, and we'll see you later tonight. We'll probably be watching it on TV so send secret shout outs." They laughed.

I went back to my room and put ripped jeans on and a Tool hoodie on. I did my hair and make up then grabbed my bag after I put my shoes on and went to Meaghan's room. When I walked in, she was already done. We went over to Cody and Justin and when they were ready to go, we left in Justin's car.

We drove to a shopping center where there were a lot of stores and restaurants. He parked the car and we all went out and began walking. We walked into a couple stores and bought some things, then just decided to walk around. The paparazzi eventually saw us and started to follow us.

"Hey, where are you guys headed to?" One of them asked but we just ignored them.

"Jael, how are you enjoying the tour?"

"It's a lot of fun. I couldn't ask for a better time."

"Any news on your album?"

"Not yet. Just writing for now but we'll start working on it after the tour."

"Do you see any acting in the future?"

"Hopefully. I would love to do movies. Maybe after we're done with the CD, I'll audition for a couple movies and see where that takes me. But I'm gonna be on Regis and Kelly and Ellen tomorrow. "

"Wow. You must be excited. How about your friend here? Meaghan, right? You gonna act?"

"Yea," She replied. "And I'm not sure. It would be a dream but I haven't really given much thought to it."

"Will you guys be at the Kid's Choice Awards?"

"No. We've decided to just watch it on TV." We walked to Panera.

"Alright, bye guys." He said and we went inside. We all ordered coffee and food. I got a sandwich and everyone else got whatever they wanted.

We talked and sat there for a couple hours, having a lot of fun. Only a couple people came to me and Cody for autographs, mainly Cody.

Later on, we walked around and bought some more clothes, then went back to the hotel. It was already six and the Kids Choice Awards started at eight. We made junk food and got some drinks, then huddles up in my room and turned the TV on to the channel. We watched the red carpet till the awards started.

We watched the whole show and were really excited about the people who won and happy for Miley for hosting and doing a great job. About a half hour after the show, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I said when I picked up.

"_Jael, it's Joe."_ I heard a lot of talking in the background.

"Hey Joe. We watched the show on TV. You guys were awesome."

"_Thank you. We're all coming back to the hotel."_

"You guys aren't staying for the after party?"

"_No. We planned something else instead."_

"Oh okay. Well, we'll see you when you get here. Do you know how long?"

"_Umm, well, it'll probably take about 10 minutes just to get out of this place so maybe 20 minutes."_

"Okay. We'll see you when you get here. Love you."

"_Love you too. Bye."_ I hung up the phone and turned back to everyone else.

"Joe said that they're coming back here because they planned something they wanted to do with us." They nodded but I could tell by the look on Cody's face that he, and probably Meaghan and Justin, knew what was gonna happen.

About a half hour later, they all came back. Cody, Justin, and Meaghan went to their own rooms before I got to see anyone else because everyone wanted to shower and stuff. When Joe walked in, I went over to him and pulled him into a kiss. He pulled me closer to him and deepened the kiss.

After a little bit, I pulled away, desperate for air.

"Why hello there." He said and I laughed as I wrapped my arms around his neck and his around my waist.

"Did you have fun at the award show?" I asked.

"Not as much fun as I would've had if you were there."

"Well I'm sorry. I had quite the day myself actually. Megs, Justin, Cody, and I went out and walked around. Bought some clothes, had Panera, and yes I ate a sandwich thank you very much, talked with some paparazzi and hung out a bit more then came back here."

"Well that wasn't a run-on sentence or anything." I laughed. "And I'm glad you ate. Thank you."

"Oh don't worry. I didn't do it for you. I was hungry." He laughed even more.

"Even better. How was the sandwich?" He asked as he let go of me, went into the room and got a new change of clothes.

"Very delicious. It was Tomato Mozzarella and I don't think I've ever had a better tasting sandwich."

"Really? I'll have to try it one day."

"Yes, you should."

When Joe went in the shower, I changed into shorts and a t-shirt. When he came out, He was in plaid pajama pants and a black undershirt. He walked out, towel drying his hair. I walked over to him and he threw the towel onto the couch.

"You need a trim." He laughed.

"I just chopped most of my hair off a couple months ago."

"And it's growing back. And it's not like I said shave your head. Just like, half an inch. I can do it for you if you want." He looked at me with an odd look on his face.

"Have you even cut hair before?"

"Yes! I cut my own hair all the time. And I trimmed Matt and Evans hair a couple times before. Ask them and they'll tell you if I did a terrible job."

"I'm surprised they actually let you."

"It was actually part of a bet and I won."

"Right. Well, we'll see." I laughed.

"Fine." A couple minutes later, Nick, Evan, Matt, Jesse, Demi, Cody, Caity, Kiwi, and Meaghan walked in. "So…what was the plan you guys had?" Caity smiled.

"Before I say it, look what I got." She handed me her camera and my mouth dropped from what I saw. It was her and Josh Holloway. Caity then went to the videos and gave the camera back to me.

"_Hey Jael, this is Josh Holloway. Caity told me that you're a fan of me and the show Lost and I'm glad you are. Keep rooting for the show because it's getting crazier and crazier. I hope to meet you one day. Bye."_

"OH MY GOD!!!!" I pulled Caity into a hug and everyone laughed. "Thank you so much! I love you!"

"I love you too. And We! Are going to have a LOST marathon." Caity said.

"Nu-uh!" They all laughed. "Shut up! Are you guys serious?"

"Yupp," Demi said.

"Ahh!!!" They all laughed again. "Oh my god! Okay, I'll go get the DVD's and everybody set everything up. I'll be right back!" I ran excitedly to the room and took my LOST season 1-4 DVD's out then ran back to the living room. I noticed earlier that they all brought their own blankets with them. Joe put popcorn in the microwave and I put the first CD of the season one box in the DVD player.

"This is so exciting!" Everybody laughed. "You guys better not fall asleep! Every single second of every episode is very important."

"Don't worry. We're all still hyped from the Kids Choice Awards."

"Good. And if you feel like you're gonna fall asleep; there's some soda in the fridge. Or you can make some coffee. Whatever you want."

Joe pored the popcorn into bowls then handed it to everyone. He sat down on the couch with a blanket over him, waiting for me to join him. I grabbed the remote, laid down next to him then pushed play.

I snuggled closer to him as he wrapped his arm around me. He kissed the top of my head and I rested it on his chest.

For the rest of the night, we watched hours and hours of Lost. When Sawyer came up, I tapped Cody's shoulder.

"That's Josh Holloway." I told him, referring to him not knowing who he was earlier today.

"Oh. Damn, you guys are right. He is sexy!" We laughed and went back to the show. None of us fell asleep and during the end of the season when Boone died, me and Demi were crying.

"He was so cute!" She said.

"I know!" Everyone laughed at us.

"Damn you Locke! I hate you!" We all laughed even more.

"I can't believe you guys made me watch this. I love it now!" Meaghan said and Cody agreed. I laughed.

"Good! When we go back on the road, you have to catch up on it. Okay? SO we can talk crazy Lost stuff when I get back."

"Okay, we will." As much as we all wanted to continue watching, it was really late and I had to wake up early. Everyone went back to their room so it was only me and Joe.

"You're getting me hooked back on the show." He told me and I laughed as I buried my head in his chest.

"Good."

"Come on. Let's get you in the bedroom so you can sleep."

"I don't feel like getting up." I mumbled and he laughed. He stood up and carried me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulders. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he walked me into the bedroom. He laid me down on the bed and as I let go of him, I brought his head closer to mine and kissed him.

He put a hand on the side of my face and deepened the kiss. Without breaking it, he got onto the bed so he was beside me. I got closer to him and he rolled over so I was on top of him. After a couple minutes of fooling around, he pulled away.

I stared into his eyes.

"I love you." I told him and he kissed my forehead. I pecked him on the lips, then kissed his chest and rested my head on it.

"I love you too."


	10. Talkshows

"Jael, wake up." I felt someone shaking me. "Jael,"

"Hmm?"

"Wake up." It was Joe.

"I don't want to." He laughed.

"You have to get ready for Regis and Kelly then Ellen." I groaned.

"Can I reschedule?"

"No," He put his hand on my back and was stroking it gently.

"Why are you up so early?"

"Because I knew you wouldn't get up on time." I sighed.

"What time is it?"

"Nine." I sat up and scratched my eyes. Joe was sitting beside me. He kissed the side of my head and I leaned my body against him. He then kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheeks, then my lips. "Would you like me to pore ice water down your back?"

"No, I would not." He chuckled. "I'm up." I stood up and went to the bathroom.

After I got out of the shower, I got dressed in jeans, a black dress, and a brown cardigan on top, and towel dried my hair. When I got out of the bathroom, Joe was still awake and Demi was sitting next to him. They were both dressed.

"We're coming with you."

"There's an SUV waiting outside the hotel for us. Oh, and Brad is coming with us too." Joe said and I nodded.

"Okay, I'll do my hair and make up really quick, then we can go." When I was done, I met Demi, Brad, and Joe in the living room.

"Are you guys ready?" They nodded and we left.

I was nervous the whole ride there. Joe was holding my hand and squeezing it when he noticed I was getting even more nervous.

"Relax, Jael. You'll do fine." I looked at him.

"Joe, you've been famous for like, what? Three years? It's easy for you to say."

"Okay, but it's seriously not a big deal. There's nothing to be nervous about. While we're waiting in the dressing room, they'll come down and introduce themselves, stuff like that. Just relax."

"And you might not want to mention anything about your past life." Brad said. "It's up to you if you want to say anything about your mom, but other than that, I think your should stay quiet for now." I nodded.

Joe was right. When we got there, Regis and Kelly came down to the dressing room and introduced themselves to me. We talked for a little bit then they had to go back because the show was about to start.

There was a TV in the dressing room that was on so that we could watch Regis and Kelly. Later on when I was gonna go up, one of the people came to me and told me where to wait so when they said my name, I could walk out.

"Good luck," Brad said.

"Thank you. Don't laugh if I mess up." They all laughed.

"We…'ll try not to." Joe said and I gasped. They all laughed and I walked out and followed the guy. When I got to where I was supposed to wait, he set up the mic on me. There were speakers on the walls so I could hear when to go out.

"She's going out _and_ did a duet with Joe Grey and is currently on tour with Connect 3, Demi Lovato, and The Veronicas. Please welcome, Jael Peirce!" I walked out, waved to the crowed, gave Regis and Kelly and hug and a kiss on the cheek, then sat down.

"Hi Jael!" Kelly said.

"Hello. How are you guys?" I said.

"We're doing great, how about you?"

"I'm good."

"So," Kelly began. "You did a duet with Joe Grey," I nodded. "How was that? And how did you get that opportunity?"

"Umm, I went to this camp called Camp Rock. They teach you how to play instruments, how to sing or how to make your voice even better, and dance. Umm, I could already do all of that, you know, cause I'm just awesome," I joked and everyone laughed. "No, but umm, if you wanted, you could be in the end of the summer program called Final Jam. And I did and I sang a song and the judges thought I was good enough and the winner got to sing a duet with Joe."

"Wow, that's really cool."

"Now," Regis began. "You're going out with Joe," I smiled and nodded. "How did you get together?"

"Umm, I met him at Camp Rock. He was one of my closest friends there and we hung out a lot and then we just eventually…clicked." I said and laughed.

"When we were backstage and I saw you two together, I'm sorry but the look in your eyes-you guys looked really in love." I sunk down in my chair and covered my face with my hands and blushed. Everyone laughed.

"How about we change the subject?" I suggested and everyone laughed again.

"Alright. I was actually thinking," Kelly said. "When I saw you backstage, I realized that your look is very…unique."

"Thank you." She laughed.

"You're new in the celebrity world. Do you plan on acting?"

"I would love to. I was thinking after the tour, me and my band would work on my album then I would audition for a couple movies."

"Do you know what type of movie you would want to be in?" I shrugged.

"I don't know. I mean it depends on the script, I guess. Any would be fine but I think I would want to do a drama or romantic, maybe even an action or horror movie before I do comedy."

"Did you ever dream of becoming famous?" Kelly asked and I shook my head.

"No, uhh, I never really even thought possible for me. Well, the things that I wanted to do were in the same category of famous. Like, I wanted to be a director, and then I changed it to a photographer, and then a bunch of other stuff. But never this."

"Was there ever a time where you didn't want to do anything that would be in the industry?" I nodded.

"I've always wanted to help people. I used to tell my mom and friends all the time that I wanted to donate blood, or shave my head and donate my hair. And I will do both things one day, but I also want to be a therapist in some way and help people with Down Syndrome or autism, stuff like that."

"Wow." They both said. "And you still want to do it?"

"I do. I just want to help people in any way I can. But I still want to shave my head and donate blood."

"That's really amazing. I think you're the first person I've ever met that actually is willing to shave their head to help people. Especially a girl!" I laughed and the audience began clapping and I smiled.

"Thank you."

"How were you as a child growing up?" Regis asked.

"Umm, you know, just a normal child I guess. I went through a lot of personal stuff that I'm not really gonna share right now, but that's all behind me and I'm just focusing on now and my future." They nodded.

"How about in school? Were you nerdy or popular?"

"Neither, actually. I was a 'regular' or 'normal' or whatever the hell those labels are," Everyone laughed. "I hate stereotypes, but I was pretty loud and obnoxious. People knew me because of my personality. Not my popularity. And I didn't want to be popular, anyways. They tried having me sit with them during lunch but I said 'Hell no' and hung out with my friends. But whenever I saw people getting bullied, I stood up for them. I am extremely, one hundred percent, against bullying and I would do anything to stop it."

"What about what people called you or started saying about you?" I shrugged.

"I never cared what people said about me."

"You know what, we need to go to commercial, but it was very nice talking to you. Do you think you could come back next time?"

"Of course."

"Alright. We'll be right back." The music played. I waved at the audience then looked back at Regis and Kelly. They both gave me another hug and a kiss on the cheek, then they let me leave. When I got to the back, the same guy took the mic away and let me go to the dressing room. When I got there, they all gave me a hug.

"You did great, Jael." Demi said.

"Thanks guys."

We all left back to the hotel. We went inside and everyone was awake by now. We all went in Joe's and my room.

"How was it?" Kiwi asked.

"It was good. I had a lot of fun."

"You guys do realize that you'll have to be singing This Is Me on Ellen, right?" Brad asked.

"What?" I was in shock. "No! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought I told you guys."

"No, you didn't! How am I supposed to sing it if Joe can't sing it with me?"

"Sing his part." I groaned.

"Evan, guys, do you have instruments in your room?" They nodded. "Okay, let's go."

We went to their room and tried figuring out what to do for the song.

"How about I start it on the piano? So it's like, slow, and then when we get to the chorus, we make it louder."

"Alright. Let's try." I went to the keyboard and of course, since we didn't have a drum set here, Matt just used the little hand drums.

I played the intro on the piano, slowly, and then like I said, when we got to the chorus, we made it louder and so far, it sounded pretty good. Then, when we got to the bridge, I stopped playing the keyboard. I told the guys to stop and I was thinking of what else to do.

"How about, when we get to the second part of the song," Matt suggested. "You stop playing the piano and just sing the song and it'll be like that for the rest of the song."

We worked out everything, even Joe's part of the song. And it turned out really good. We had about an hour left before we had to leave, so we went back to my room.

"We got it all figured out!"

"Wow." Miley said.

"Yea, I know. I'm pretty shocked myself. Hey, when are you guys leaving?" I asked Miley, Selena, Meaghan, Cody, and Justin.

"Tomorrow."

"So, we'll be able to say bye before we leave?"

"Yupp." Selena replied.

We all talked till I had to leave for Ellen. Demi, Joe, and Brad came again, and of course, my band. I was even more nervous now because Ellen is huge and she's so funny. Everyone wished me luck and I thanked them.

When we got there, we were led to the dressing room.

"Oh my God, I'm so nervous." I said and they laughed. Joe started rubbing my back and I rested my head on his shoulder. There was also a TV here that showed Ellen. We watched it and when she went to commercial, she came down to the dressing room.

"Hi Jael, I'm Ellen." I stood up and shook her hand.

"Yea, I know. I used to watch your show." We all laughed. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Yea, you too. And it's nice to see you again, Joe and Demi."

"You too, Ellen." Joe said and him and Demi gave her a hug.

"Umm, this is my manager, Brad, and my band Evan, Matt, and Jesse." They all shook her hand.

"So Jael, I have to talk to you really quick about the questions I'm going to be asking you." I nodded. "You don't have to answer them if you don't want to but if you can, please, by all means, do." I laughed.

"Okay."

"Well, I got to get back but I'll see you soon, Jael." Ellen went back and it came back from commercial.

"Is this live?" I asked.

"Yea." Brad said. I took my phone out and updated my twitter.

_Everyone go watch Ellen right now. I'm gonna be on in a couple minutes._

One of the workers there came and told me and the guys to follow him. Joe and Demi wished us luck and we followed the guy to where we would be performing. I took my seat on the piano. The guy turned the mic on and made sure everything was set then left. The lights were off where we were till it was time for us to perform.

"Okay, she is a singer/songwriter and is currently on tour with Connect 3, Demi Lovato, and The Veronicas. Please welcome, Jael Pierce!" The lights slowly turned on and everyone cheered. I smiled and waited for them to stop, then began playing.

When I was done, everyone clapped. I smiled to myself because this went a lot better than I thought it would. Ellen walked over and gave me a hug.

"You did great!"

"Thank you."

"We'll be right back with Jael Pierce!" Everyone clapped.

"You were amazing."

"Thank you very much." I followed her to wear the seats were and sat down. We talked a little till the break was over.

"Hey everyone, we are back with Jael Pierce. Jael, how are you?"

"I'm great, how are you?"

"I'm good. So, you're Jael Pierce."

"The last time I checked." I and everyone else laughed.

"You're name is very unique. What's your full name?"

"Jael Jayden Peirce."

"Jael Jayden. Wow, so, do people call you JJ or Jay or something?"

"Sometimes, yea. My band and a couple old friends used to call me that when we were in middle school but now, it's just Jael."

"Just Jael. Okay, so," Everyone laughed. "This song you just sang, it was originally a duet with your boyfriend, Joe Grey." I nodded. "And you're also on tour with Connect 3, Demi Lovato, and The Veronicas. Is that fun?"

"Oh yea, loads. I've never had so much fun in my life."

"Yea? Do you guys have crazy parties?" I laughed.

"No, not really. The other day, we all went out to the movies, and then last night, me and a few of us had a Lost marathon. It was really fun."

"You're a Lost fan?"

"Of course! That show is like, the best show ever made! I'm in love with it. Joe, my band, and my friend Kiwi actually stopped watching it, and the others never saw it before so I made them watch it and now they're fans."

"Wow, I'm a Lost fan too."

"Really? That's awesome."

"And what movie did you guys see when you went out?"

"Step brothers. Yea, that movie was hilarious. I love it."

"Yea, I saw that and it was pretty funny." I laughed. "So, how come you didn't go to the Kid's Choice Awards? I could've met you there."

"Uhh, something was going on. But I did see it on TV and I enjoyed it. It would've been cool going to my first award show, though."

"Yea, I'm sure. So, tell us about yourself so people can start pretending to be you online and stuff." Everyone laughed.

"Oh, joy!" I said sarcastically. "Umm, my mom is Irish and my step dad is Canadian. I was born and lived in Ireland till I was three. Then we moved to Canada and I lived there till I was about fourteen. And then we've been moving on and off ever since but for the past two years we've been in New York."

"Wow. So, what's the one place you call home?"

"New York and Ireland. I would visit Ireland a lot with my mom and it is SO beautiful there. And New York is just beautiful. I love it there. But for Canada, even though I lived there the longest and that's where I met pretty much all of my friends, I just don't call that place home. No disrespect to the Canadians!" I said really quick and everyone laughed. "I'm Canadian too. There's nothing wrong with Canada. I guess it's just where I lived and how my lifestyle was."

"Okay, and your style is very different than what a lot of people have. Is this how you always were?"

"When I was in middle school, my style was a bit more skater, but I changed as I got older and I'm fine with my style now."

"What would you call it?"

"I don't know, grungy…me?"

"Grungy-me. I like that." Everyone laughed. "And you're planning on having your own album out, right?"

"Yes."

"What type of music will it be?"

"No. It's gonna be rock, metal, stuff like that. I grew up listening to that kind of music. 90's grunge, all that stuff and that's the type of music I'm gonna sing."

"Really? What do you mean by 90's grunge?"

"Like, Alice In Chains, Nirvana, stuff like that. I also listened to The Beatles, Jimi Hendrix, and stuff like that and I still do."

"That's cool. So, you're on tour with Connect 3 now, do you want the same crowd for your music as they do?"

"No." Everyone laughed. "I'm not trying to say anything bad, I mean, their audiences are great and awesome, very supporting, but I just want my crowd to be older and possibly more guys." Everyone laughed again. "And I just want to say to the Connect 3 fans and Demi Lovato fans, that if you do not like any rock or metal music, then you won't like my music. If you don't like my music, don't listen to it, don't buy it, don't come to a concert, and don't force yourself to like it because that's terrible." A couple people cheered.

"What if Joe or any of your friends don't like it?"

"I've told them that if they don't like it they don't have to. And they understood, completely and told me the same thing."

"Do you like their music?"

"Yes I do."

"Do you have any favourite's of Connect 3's?"

"I love their new album. All the songs are amazing."

"Yea? And one more quick question, if you weren't going out with Joe, would you go out with a guy that doesn't like your music?"

"I would. You know, if I do, then that means he likes me for me and not my fame, so that's good." She nodded.

"Okay, we need to take a break, when we get back I am going to ask Jael a personal question that she will hopefully answer and then we're going to play a game. We'll be right back."

Ellen and I talked a little bit but then the break was over.

"Alright, we're back and sitting beside me is Jael Pierce. So Jael, not only me, but a few other people want to know this so I have to ask you these questions."

"Uh oh." I said and everyone laughed. "I'm sorry, she's getting all Barbra Walters on me. We have to be serious now." Everyone laughed again, including Ellen.

"Okay, no, but seriously." Everyone calmed down. "So, obviously by looking at you, you can tell that you...have problems." I laughed. "Are you depressed?"

"Umm, yea, you could say that. I've been through a lot when I was younger and probably even more depressed than I am now but my life is full of crazy things that nobody should go through. But I do want to say, before it becomes a rumor, I do not starve myself, nor am I anorexic."

"But you're very thin."

"I know. It's not like I became like this within a year. I've been this same weight for a couple years now. I mean, through my phases of being, depressed, sad, stressed, or angry, I just…don't eat. Not because I force myself to, but I just lose my appetite." She nodded.

"Would you say you're depressed now?"

"Not too much. Something pretty tragic happened to me recently so that dropped my mood pretty bad."

"Yea?" She paused for a second. "You wanna tell us what it is?" I laughed, and so did a few people in the audience.

"Umm, sure. My mom, she died a couple months ago. And we used to be really close so it affected me pretty bad. But you know, I'm trying to move on as best as I can." She nodded.

"I'm really sorry to hear that." I smiled.

"Thanks." I really was hearing that way too much.

"Okay, so, we're gonna take a break, and when we get back, to lighten the mood, we're gonna play Answer That. We'll be right back."

After the break, we went back to the show.

"Okay, we're back with Jael Pierce and we're going to play Answer That. So basically to play, I'm going to ask you random questions and you'll have to answer them. Okay?" I nodded.

"Okay." She took a stack of papers from the small table between us.

"Ready?"

"Shoot."

"Okay. Favourite colors?"

"Green, dark purple, orange, yellow, and black."

"Snack?"

"Cheese." The audience laughed.

"If you could be in a movie, which one would it be and why?"

"Oh wow. That's a hard one. Umm, I would like to be in the Machinist. That movie was amazing. And umm, anything with Johnny Depp in it cause, duhh, he's Johnny Depp." Everyone laughed.

"Celebrity crushes?"

"I have a lot."

"Name the main ones."

"Okay. Johnny Depp, Josh Holloway, Ian Somerhalder, Thomas Dekker and Shia Labeouf."

"I've met some of them before."

"I'm sure you have!" Everyone laughed.

"I could bring Shia onto the show next time you come."

"No you can't."

"Yea I can."

"But you won't."

"I will. Just wait and see, I will."

"Okay." Everyone laughed.

"Okay, umm favourite talk shows besides mine?" I laughed.

"Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, and Craig Ferguson."

"Favourite shows?"

"Lost, of course, Heroes, Supernatural, and Terminator."

"If you could guest star on any show, what would it be?"

"House, definitely, umm, Lost, that would be awesome. Supernatural…Oh! And I want to be on Law and Order: SVU." Everyone laughed again.

"Okay, and which Actress and Actor do you respect the most?"

"Uhh, ooh, I don't know. I really like Johnny Depp. He's amazing. And an actress, I'm going to say Evangeline Lilly. She plays Kate in Lost. I think she's so beautiful and an amazing actress. Plus, she's real and she seems like she's the type that doesn't care what anyone says. And Emilie de Ravin, Camilla Belle, and Dakota Fanning."

"Camilla Belle? Isn't she Joe's ex?"

"Yea, but I think she's an amazing actress and she's very beautiful too."

"Have you met her?"

"Not yet, but hopefully, one day."

"Speaking of Joe's ex's, what is going on with you and Taylor Swift?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you read any gossip sites or anything?"

"Nope."

"Okay, well, there are rumors going around saying that there is this feud going around with you and Taylor. Saying that you guys hate each other, especially for everything she's said about Joe and what she's done to him."

"Okay, first of all, I have never met Taylor so how can there be a feud if we've never met? And second of all, I have this rule to myself that is not to hate anybody unless I have a reason to."

"But she's Joe's ex."

"But she didn't do anything to me. Yea, I'm gonna admit, what she did to Joe's rep and all that crap she said about him was really stupid and that is something I dislike about her, which is jealousy. I'm not the jealous type so I would never do something that immature. If she hates me, that's her business, but I have nothing against her. What happened in the past is the past and if she expects some anger to come out of me from all of that then she might as well stop because she's not gonna get any." Everyone cheered.

"Alright then. If you were to be arrested, what would it be for?"

"Umm, probably fighting for a good cause."

"How do you get arrested by fighting for a good cause?" She laughed.

"Like a rally or something."

"What would the rally be for?"

"Peace and of course, same sex relationships."

"Really?" I nodded. "I think I like you a lot more now." I laughed. "How many boyfriends have you had in your whole life?"

"Including Joe?"

"Sure."

"Umm, wow, pfft, like," I jokingly counted on my fingers, past ten. "Like…two." I said seriously and everyone laughed.

"Really?"

"Yea. Yay, I'm not a whore!" I said and everyone laughed again.

"What is the most exciting thing that has happened to you during this past week?"

"Since I couldn't go to the Kids Choice Awards, my friend Caity did, and Josh Holloway, he plays Sawyer in Lost, was there and she got a couple photos with him and a video of him saying hi to me and I got really excited."

"Is he your favourite character?"

"One of, yea."

"Alright, and what is an embarrassing moment that you've had recently?"

"Uhh, I don't think I've had any recently."

"Okay, any."

"Umm, when I was in middle school, seventh grade, me and a few friends were walking to lunch and one of them came up to me and shanked me." Ellen's eyes widened. "And shanking happened a lot in seventh grade, anyways,"

"Wait, she shanked you?"

"Yea."

"Why are you talking so relaxed about this? Did you have to go to the hospital? Were you okay?" I looked at her confusedly.

"What are you talking abo-" It hit me then and I bust out laughing. This time Ellen was staring at me with a weird look on her face but I couldn't stop laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" Everyone in the crowd laughed but I just laughed harder.

"No! You don't understand!" I tried calming down. "Shanking, in school, well, my school, is pulling someone's pants down." I laughed again and everyone else bust out laughing.

"Why?" I shrugged.

"It's slang."

"Oh my God, you scared me!" I laughed again.

"Sorry. Anyways, so she shanked me, and usually when I get shanked, I can catch it to pull it back up but I didn't and they fell to the ground. Thankfully, my hoodie was long so it covered my behind, but they fell to the ground and I was so embarrassed and all my friends were laughing, so I just laughed with them and walked around with my pants on the ground. Only for a few minutes, though. I didn't want to get in trouble." Everyone laughed.

"My heart is still racing from when you said you got shanked." Everyone laughed. "We're gonna take a break. It was very nice meeting and talking to you, Jael."

"Thank you, it was nice meeting and talking to you too. I hope to come back one day."

"Please do. I really like you." I laughed.

"I like you too, Ellen." She smiled.

"Okay, we'll be right back."

The music played. I turned to Ellen and she leaned forward to tell me something.

"I can't believe you scared me like that." I laughed.

"I'm sorry!" She laughed.

"And I'm very sorry for your loss."

"Thank you."

Ellen let me go back to the dressing room. When I got there, Joe gave me a hug and a kiss.

"You did great." He told me and I smiled.

We made our way back to the hotel. When we walked into Joe and my room, everyone was still in there and stood up.

"Jael! You were awesome!" Selena said and gave me a hug.

"Thanks, Sel."

Since we were off for the rest of the day and had nothing to do, we decided to continue watching Lost. We were now finished with seasons two and three and starting four.

"Warning," I said. "This season will start to get a little boring, but it's really important." I then pushed play.

I took my phone out when we reached the third episode, and updated my twitter.

_Finished season 1 of Lost last night, finished seasons 2-3 today, now watching season 4. Amazing what this show can do to you ;]_

Shockingly, we finished season 4 too. We were all caught up in the show. And it was only eight.

"Dude, Lost overload. I can't believe Charlie died!" Demi said and I laughed. "He was my second favourite. When's the next season starting?"

"January." I replied.

"Oh my God, I can't wait! And shit! I want that bracelet, Jael!"

"I got it from my friend, Jac, at Bluesfest. Maybe she has a website where you can order it from."

"I hope she does."

"Let me text her and find out. Hold on." I took my phone out and texted Jac.

_Hey Jac. It's Jael from Bluesfest. I hope you didn't forget about me yet. Do you have a website where your bracelets and stuff are at? I made everybody watch all 4 seasons of Lost and they love it and now Demi wants the Lost bracelet. Haha :]_

_**Hey! Of course I didn't forget. I actually thought that you would and never text me. Haha, and yea, I do. It's . Of course they love it! It's Lost, who wouldn't?**_

_I wouldn't forget about you! Whenever we're in the same state, we have to hang out. And haha, I know, right? Thank you :]_

"It's Jacvanek dot com."

"Yes! Totally getting on that when I get to my laptop."

We all talked a little when we heard someone's TV really loud. I stepped outside of the hotel room to see which room it was coming from and found it. Everybody else came out and I stuck my ear to the door. I heard a lot of moving in the room and…moaning. I fake gagged and moved away. Kiwi and Caity looked at me oddly and did the same when they put their ear on the door. Everyone else finally heard it and we were trying not to laugh.

"That's so gross." I whispered.

The TV turned off and there was loud breathing. The two people in the room started talking and based on their accent, you could tell they were black.

"Oh my God, that was so much fun! Ahehehehehe!" The women said really loud and we all tried not to laugh.

"Wait, watch this." I said and banged on the couples door. "Excuse me sir!" I yelled so they could hear. "Did you have fun too?" Everyone bust out laughing. Neither the man nor the woman said anything because they were probably embarrassed. We all went back in the room and bust out laughing again.

"Oh my God! Jael!" Miley said but she couldn't stop laughing.

"That was awesome!" Cody said. "My respect for you just went up like, a million percent."

We all sat around and talked for a bit.

"Joe, when are we leaving?"

"Umm, like, two in the morning. We have a show tomorrow."

"So we might as well not sleep right?" He nodded.

"Yea, probably not."

We all talked and hung out for a few hours but then we decided to make sure we had everything packed. That only took about fifteen minutes. When we got back, Caity and Kiwi were talking to each other about something.

"Everything okay?" I asked them.

"Yea, but we wanted to talk to you about something." Kiwi said.

"Kay. What's up?"

"If you don't mind, we were wondering if we could just leave with Selena, Miley, Cody, Meaghan, and Justin. Cause we want to set up our apartment, and stuff."

"Oh, no, that's totally cool. I don't care. More people to say goodbye to," I pretended I was about to start crying. "But no, it's okay. I don't care. You guys aren't family or anything!" They laughed and walked over to me but I pushed them away. "Don't touch me!" I said with a high-pitched voice and turned away from them. Everyone bust out laughing, including me. I turned pack to them.

"Dude, my eyes actually started watering." I laughed again and wiped the little tears that were under my eyes. "But no seriously, that's fine. I got Demi and Joe so it's all good."

"And us!" Nick said, referring to him and Kevin. I laughed.

"Sadly." I said, sounding bummed and they laughed. "Hey Kev, how come I haven't met Danielle yet?"

"Oh, she's gonna be coming to our show tomorrow. She stopped by the other day cause she was passing through and wanted to see me." I nodded.

"So I'll meet her tomorrow?" He nodded.

"But she won't be able to stay long. She has to head back to Jersey."

"Wait, I want to rewind back to Ellen," Meaghan said. "You said you would get arrested for a good cause?" I laughed and nodded. "If you actually do go to a rally fighting for peace, or anything else, I'm going with you."

"Hell yes! Very nice!" I said with a Borat accent and high fived her and we all laughed. "And gay rallies too."

"Gay power!" Cody yelled and we laughed. I leaned against Joe and rested my head against his shoulder.

"Jael, you excited to audition for movies?" Demi asked.

"Yes! I hope I actually get into one. A good one, though. But what happens at the audition?"

"Usually," Cody said. "Your agent gets you a script and if you like it, then you go audition. There will be someone reading the second persons part and you read the person you want to audition for. And if they don't like you as that character, then they'll make you read another characters, but if you don't seem good enough, they just tell you to go home and they'll 'call' you." I laughed. "Usually if you get the part, they call, and if you don't get the part, they don't call."

"Okay. Brad, am I getting an agent after the tour?"

"Yea…unless you want to pay me more and I can be your agent as well."

"Are you serious?" I said and laughed.

"You're already paying me for all the extra stuff I'm doing for you, but if I become your agent, you'll have to pay me what you pay an agent."

"I don't care! Dude, are you joshing me? Yes! Be my agent! What the hell?" Everyone laughed.

"Alright. I have to go set it up with Warner but then afterwards, it's good. Oh, and I wanted to ask you, for your band, do you guys want a band name or just keep it Jael Pierce?"

"Oh, I forgot about that." I looked at Evan, Matt, and Jesse. "We need a band name."

"Since I won't be seeing Warner till after the tour, that's how long you guys have." I nodded.

"Okay. Guys, can you help me think of something?" They nodded. "If any one of you has an idea, tell me."

We talked a little bit but then decided to take pictures. Joe got his Polaroid camera and I got my regular one. We took lots of pictures, really random ones too. Much like the thousand Joe took of everybody during the tour.

We hung out, took pictures and videos, and had lots of laughs for a couple hours but then it was time for us to go. A few people came up to take our things down to the tour bus. Before I said bye to everyone, I took my phone out to update my twitter status.

_On the road once again. Saying bye to everyone. I'll miss them :*[_

"I'll miss you guys." I said as I pulled Miley into a hug.

"We'll miss you too." I then gave everyone else a hug, and Meaghan last.

"Megs, I love you!" She laughed.

"I love you too, Jael."

"By the time we're back, I want to see Harry Potter in that apartment! Okay?" She laughed again.

"Okay. I promise. Hogwarts honor." She said as she put a hand on her chest and one in the air. I did the same thing.

"We solemnly swear that we are up to no good." I said and she laughed even more and repeated it. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay." I gave her one more hug.

"Bye guys."

Everyone else went down but Joe and Demi waited for me. I walked over to them and Joe put his arm around my shoulders. We went downstairs and by the back door, there was Big Rob. He stood in front of us, pushing all the paparazzi away as we made our way onto the bus. Demi gave me and Joe a hug, then went on her bus.

Joe and I walked in. I past by the bunks and saw that Evan, Matt, and Jesse were already asleep. I closed their curtains for them, then went to the back room to get my PJ's. I heard the door close and turned around to see Joe with pictures in his hands. He walked over to me and gave me a kiss.

"Do you have your photo book with you?" He asked me.

"Yea."

"Can I put the Polaroid's in there for now?" I nodded and took it out for him. He opened to an empty page and started putting the pictures in.

"I'll be right back. I'm gonna go change." I got to the door before Joe stopped me.

"Addie," I turned to him and before I could react, he took a picture of me with his Polaroid. I smiled then went to the bathroom and changed. When I got back, Joe was almost done putting the pictures in.

"Let me see the picture you took of me." I told him and he handed it to me. I stared at, trying to figure out something. It was me, and I understood that, but I looked…different. I was smiling very little but in a way, you could tell there was something more behind it. Something I was hiding.

"This is possibly my favourite picture of you. Despite the fact that there actually is something you're hiding from me." He saw it too. I looked at him. "Don't worry, I'm not mad. I'm just waiting for you to be comfortable with telling me everything. I'm patient."

"It's not that I'm not comfortable with you. It's just…I don't know how you'll react." He looked around and shrugged.

"Me neither. But I do know that I love you and that I'll never leave you." My eyes watered a little bit.

"I love you too. With everything in me." He kissed the side of my head and I leaned into him. He lay back so that he was resting on the arm of the couch and I was against him. I was going to tell him, but when I opened my mouth, nothing came out.

**really long chapter. I hope you guys like it.  
and as we all know, Joe and Demi broke up. and they say they're 'friends' but i doubt it.  
I was never into any of those couple things. like, "Jemi" or "Niley" or whatever.  
and for me, I never really cared if they hooked up, my likeness for them wouldn't change, and honestly, i thought they would last longer than this,  
and now that they are over, I still love Demi and I'm kinda pissed at Joe but life goes on, right?  
I'm sure they'll become friend's again soon.**

**anyways, I'm kind of excited for you guys to catch up to where I'm at on the story,  
cause I'm already on chapter 20 and I could just post the rest, but then you wouldn't review.  
and I already have an idea for the ending. No idea if there'll be another sequel. i doubt it.  
but that means this story will be veeeeeeeeeerrrrrrryyyyyyyy long. hope you don't mind.**

**this is getting long enough. review please!  
**


	11. Dream Dream, Go Away

"Jael, you don't have to tell me now if you're not ready."

"I want to. I need to. I want you to trust me."

"I do trust you. I always have and always will. How about you start out with something…not as dramatic." I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Remember when I first met Garbo and John, and they were asking me all those questions and they asked what my fears or phobias were?" He nodded. "When I was in middle school, I used to have these dreams. And they scared me so much. I don't even know if they're considered dreams. But they started out as them. One of the dreams I had was, I woke up to my mom shaking me. And she was saying how she saw a ghost but for some reason, I couldn't talk. So I fell asleep but then I woke up and I was still being shaken. So I told her 'I heard you. You can stop shaking me now.' But then I looked up and my mom wasn't there. It was the ghost. There was nothing there, but you know how when you're dreaming, you know things even though it's not really obvious?"

"Yea."

"Well, I knew that was the ghost. I got so scared. I kept screaming 'Mommy! Mommy!' And the ghost was still shaking me. But then I woke up and I was so scared. And the next day when I told my mom the dream, I cried. At first, I thought it was just a nightmare, whatever, but then I had another one. And another one. And another one. Then they stopped being dreams and became real. I don't really remember if this was the first time it was actually real, but it came. And when it comes, you get this weird feeling. Like, you know when there's fire, and you look on top of it and it's that wavy stuff?" He nodded. "That's what it feels like. But I feel it in my heart. And In the air. And then it came and I was so scared. I'm not sure if I couldn't move or if I was too scared to move, but I just didn't. And it was almost there, but I was so scared, I just kept repeating stuff in my head and then all of a sudden, as weird as this sound, it goes 'Shit.' And it leaves." Joe laughed and I smiled. "And that same night when I woke up, I slept at like ten and woke up at twelve. I was hoping so bad that it was morning but it wasn't. And I had school the next day. Anyways, I woke up and when I looked up, I saw the shadow of my mom at the door. I wasn't sure if it was actually her, so I took my phone and put the light towards it but then it was gone. But when I moved it, it was there again."

"And then the next day, I was asleep, but then I heard someone say my name. And then I woke up and I heard it again but when I opened my eyes, there was nothing there. I was so scared and stunned by all these dreams and finally, they stopped. I wasn't able to sleep after that because I was so scared they would come back. I went for days without sleeping but on weekends, I would be up all night and sleep during the day. Because I knew it was light and I couldn't get scared in the light. My mom knew that this was getting out of hand, so she made me stay up all day so I could sleep at night. I was so scared to but then I did and I actually fell asleep. I think this was the scariest one I have ever had. While I was sleeping, it came and it grabbed my legs and it started pulling me. It tried dragging me off the bed but I would squeeze my pillow so tight and I tried screaming but I couldn't open my mouth. I couldn't even move. So I tried screaming with my mouth closed and the thing was still trying to pull me off the bed. But then my mom, she ran in the room and woke me up. I opened my eyes and my pillow had wrinkles all over it from how much I was squeezing it and I was crying, but when I turned around and looked at my legs and the blanket, it was as if they weren't even moved. I looked at my mom and she knew that it happened again and she stayed in the room with me the whole night. I didn't go back to sleep but it was better than being alone."

"It came back a few times after that but nothing serious. I sort of got used to it but only when it was little. That wave feeling, when it first started, it was so strong, but then it got smaller and smaller and it didn't come back for a few years." I wiped the few tears away that spilled out.

"Did you ever figure out what it was?" Joe asked me, worried.

"I googled it." He chuckled. "Have you heard of Sleep Paralysis?" He nodded. "It's a type of sleep paralysis called Sleep Catalepsy. What I've read about it is when you wake up before your spirit enters your body and it's just trying to get back in. But I don't really think that's it. It said that the catalepsy occurs after you sleep. But for me, it always happened like, in between the state of being awake and asleep. Like, those two seconds before your actually asleep. And like I said before, it started out in my dreams, then it became real. I never really understood why it happened to me, or what it actually was, but I guess it's just apart of me. I've always wondered what would happen if I let it take me when it was pulling my legs. Or what would happen if I let it come before it said 'shit'. I don't know if it'll come back. And I don't know what it will do if it does. I guess I'll just have to wait and find out. And I know you said that you're always there for me and that you're gonna protect me, but this is something you can't protect me from. It's psychological. Not physical."

"Have you ever talked to a doctor about it?" I shook my head.

"They wouldn't understand. It'll just be something else to add to the list of problems I have that they ignored."

"And what is on this list?"

"Migraines, insomnia, depression, 'anorexia' **(quotation marks because she's not really anorexic)**. Bla, bla, bla."

"It's the circle of life." I laughed.

"Oh yes. What a pleasant circle." Now he laughed. "I think I'll name it Bob…or Phil."

"I think Phil works."

"Yea?"

"Mhm."

"Okay. Phil it is."

I was so tired, about to fall asleep, but before I did, I took my phone out to change my twitter status.

_Named the circle Phil. Phil. Hmm. Goodnight my little monsters._

I set my phone down and fell asleep in Joe's arms.

When I woke up, it looked pretty early in the morning. Joe was sound asleep under me. I slowly removed his arm from around me and stood up. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, I went to the living room. I looked at the clock and it said 9:00am. I made some coffee, and thankfully, there were those to-go cups they have at Star Bucks here. I guess they've learned off of experience.

I made two cups, added stuff to each, then picked them both up and walked to the front of the bus where the driver was.

"Hey Kenny." I said to him. I sat in the passenger seat and put his coffee in the cup holder beside him.

"Thanks Jael." A few times during the tour, whenever I woke up before anyone else, I would make coffee and just sit with Kenny.

"So," I took a sip of my coffee. "How's life?"

"Ehh. Not really much to it. I've been driving for days. I think I past by a dead squirrel, deer, and a cat. And a couple minutes ago, I saw a car flipped over in the woods. Not a pretty sight."

"I'm sure." A couple minutes later of talking, my phone rang.

"Hey tiger." I said when I picked up the phone to Meaghan.

"_Hey panda. How are you?"_

"I uhh, I'm good." I stood up and went to the living room. "Joe and I talked last night about some stuff." She gasped.

"_Condom or birth control?"_ I bust out laughing.

"What? Birth control, silly!" She laughed too.

"_Okay, seriously. What's going on?"_

"Umm, well I'm sure as everyone knows, I haven't exactly told everybody everything about me."

"_Mhm."_

"He talked to me about that. Pretty much saying that I could trust him and whenever I was ready to tell him, but when I was going to, it's like, my voice just…stopped working. So then he said I could start out with something not as dramatic. So then I told him about these dreams I used to have. I would tell you but it's kinda long and I think it's better to tell you when we're face to face. But yea, we talked about that." I laughed.

"_How did you feel after you told him about that?"_

"Umm. I don't know. Safe, maybe. Protected. You would understand why after I tell you what they were. So uhh, yea, I love him." I sat down on the couch. "I just…he's everything to me, Megs. I'm so grateful to have him in my life. I don't know what I would do if I lost him."

"_Well, at least you have a boyfriend. I have nobody."_

"Hun, you're hot. And you're almost famous. Guys will be crawling at your feet." She laughed. "And speaking of guys, have you noticed a little some' some' going on with Caity and Matt?"

"_Yes! Dude, they so like each other! Miley and I were talking about it earlier. They have to get together!"_

"I know! And Demi and Joe's birthday is in a couple weeks. And Caity's was a couple days ago. So, do you think it would be okay if you guys flew over here for it?"

"_Yea, definitely. And we can invite Demi's friend, Marissa. And she can help us set everything up."_

"Okay, and Demi's mother, of course."

"_This is gonna be so awesome! And we can do something on stage during the concerts then have our own party afterwards."_

"Megs, you are a genius." She laughed.

"_Thank you. Well, our plane is gonna be here in a bit. I'll call you later."_

"Alright. Tell everyone I said hi. Love you."

"_Love you too. Bye."_

I finished my coffee and threw my cup away. I was bored so I decided to reply to some tweets. I took my laptop out and went on twitter. I replied to pretty much every single tweet I got. It seemed to make people happy for some reason. I don't know why, though.

Eventually, Nick woke up. He made himself some coffee and came and sat next to me.

"What're you doing?" He asked me.

"Replying to tweets." He nodded.

"Ahh. You enjoying that?"

"Very much." I continued replying to the tweets.

"Hey, whenever you're done, I want to talk to you about something."

"I can stop now. I'm only doing this cause I'm bored."

"You sure?" I nodded. "Okay, I'll be right back." He stood up and went to where the bunks were. I put some Jimi Hendrix on because I needed some music to listen to and continued replying to the tweets till Nick came back. When he did, I set the laptop down. He walked over with a notebook in his hand.

"You listen to Jimi Hendrix?" He asked me.

"No dope! Lovin me some Hendrix." I said and he laughed.

"Okay, so, I've been writing these songs and I feel like they're not…Connect 3 music type…thing." I laughed. "And I want you to tell me what you think."

"Sure. Hand it over." He gave me his notebook and I read a couple pages of lyrics. They were really good. "Dude, these are awesome. And yea, I feel like this is more…classic than pop."

"Yea, that's what I was thinking. So, just out of curiosity, if I happened to have a solo band, what would you do?" I smiled.

"I would buy the album and rock out to it all the time. Especially if it's gonna have that Beatles/Hendrix feel to it." He sighed and smiled.

"I've been thinking about it for a while. And I was gonna talk to Joe and Kevin today."

"Yea, totally do that. Oh, and I was talking to Megs earlier, and we were thinking since Caity's, Demi's, and Joe's birthdays are all in the same two weeks, we can fly them over and then during one of the shows, set something up. And invite Demi's mom and Marissa over and after the show, we can have a small party type thing to celebrate."

"That's a good idea. We can fly them over on Demi's birthday since hers is the last one of the three. We can talk to Demi's mom and Marissa to see if they have any other ideas."

"Okay. Now, back to your songs. Can I read them over again?"

"Sure."

"Can I tweak them a bit if I need to?"

"Yea." I scooted closer to him and read the lyrics to the first song. I made sure it was okay before I changed something and he seemed to really like my ideas. About twenty minutes later, I heard something. When I looked up, I saw Joe with the Polaroid and digital camera in his hands. I smiled and he took another picture. When he was done, he walked over and sat beside me on my other side.

"What're you guys doing?" He asked us.

"Tweaking lyrics."

"Speaking of lyrics," Nick said. "I need to talk to you and Kevin about something when he wakes up."

"Okay. Hey, is there anymore coffee?" Joe asked.

"Yea,"

"But Nick made it so it might be gross." I joked and he hit my arm, playfully. I laughed and continued to read the lyrics. About an hour later, Kevin woke up. He made coffee and sat down with the rest of us.

"Okay, I need to talk to you guys about something." Nick said.

"And before he starts," I began. "He already told me and I'm with him a hundred percent. Just saying."

"Okay, so, I've been writing a lot of songs lately and they haven't really been…Connect 3. It's more of the music I'm into. So I was wondering, if I started my own band, would you guys be okay with it?"

"No, dude, that's an awesome idea." Joe said. "We're with you completely."

"Yea, same here, man." Kevin said. "It'll be really cool." Nick smiled.

"Thanks so much, guys."

I finished editing a few songs, then gave the notebook back to Nick. I grabbed my laptop because music was still playing, and changed it to The Beatles. I replied to some more tweets, then set my laptop down.

"Are the guys still sleeping?" I asked.

"Yea." Kevin replied.

"How about Brad?"

"He's in the bathroom." I nodded. A couple minutes later, Brad walked out on the phone. After he hung up, he had a smile on his face.

"Bradley," I said. "What's going on?"

"I have some really good news. Really really good news. So good that I think you will never cease to doubt me."

"Well, I'll doubt the fact that you have news unless you say it. Fast." Everyone laughed.

"Okay, well, I talked to some people a couple days ago aaaannnndddd these people just happen to be working on this movie aaaaannnnddddd in a few minutes, you'll get the script. You'll audition in two days, they'll love you, you'll make it, and it'll be awesome." A smile grew on my face.

"No way! What is this movie? What are you talking about?"

"All I'm going to say is that it's based off a new book called My Sister's Keeper."

"Aaaahhhh!" I stood up and gave Brad a hug. "Thank you!" He laughed.

"You're welcome." My phone rang. I picked it up and it said Demi.

"Jello, babe?" She laughed.

"_Hey, Jael. Holy crap, I'm so bored."_ I laughed.

"I was five minutes ago. But dude, guess what!"

"_What?"_

"Brad got me an audition for this movie in two days! We're gonna stop by at a post office to get the script."

"_Oh my gosh, congrats!"_

"Thanks. Hey, when we stop, you should come on our bus. I'm sure Nick wants to tell you something, anyways."

"_Okay. See you in a couple minutes. Bye."_ I hung up the phone.

"Demi's gonna come on the bus when we stop."

A few minutes later, the bus stopped, Brad got off to get the script, and Demi walked in.

"Demi!" I got up and gave her a hug.

"Hey." She laughed and hugged me back, then sat down. A couple minutes later, Brad walked on with a large envelope in his hand. I stood up and took it from his hands.

"Thank you!" I sat back down and took out the script. I read everything out loud on the first page.

_My Sister's Keeper_

_Character: Kate Fitzgerald_

_Genre: Drama, Romance_

_In Los Angeles, the eleven-year-old Anna Fitzgerald seeks the successful lawyer Campbell Alexander trying to hire him to earn medical emancipation from her mother Sara that wants Anna to donate her kidney to her sister. She tells the lawyer the story of her family after the discovery that her older sister Kate has had leukemia; how she was conceived by in vitro fertilization to become a donor; and the medical procedures she has been submitted since she was five years old to donate to her sister. Campbell accepts to work pro bono and the obsessed Sara decides to go to court to force Anna to help her sister._

"Dude, I love this already." I said and they laughed. "It's gonna be a sad movie. I can tell already."

"Oh, and if you get the part, I believe they'll give you at least one or two extra scripts."

"Okay. Holy crap! I have to call Caity." I took my phone and dialed Caity's number, explaining to her what was going on. She told Kiwi, Miley, Meaghan, Justin, and Selena and they were all really excited for me.

"Hey, buy the book and read it. I need to get it too."

"_Okay, I will. I need to go. The flight attendants getting pissed that I'm on the phone. I'll talk to you later."_

"Okay. Be careful! Remember, 4 8 15 16 23 42!" She laughed.

"_Isn't that the evil numbers?"_

"Yes but they are the most amazing numbers EVER! Remember, Hurley is your friend! The others are evil! Don't give in to the whisperers!" She laughed.

"_Oh God. After the show finished, we're gonna have to go to Lost rehab."_ I laughed.

"Lost rehab, I like that." She laughed.

"_Okay, well, I got to go."_

"Okay. Tell Megs to have her wand out just incase the dementor's come and remember the spell. Expecto Patronum."

"_Hahaha, I will. Bye."_

"Dementor's?" Demi asked.

"Harry Potter." I explained and she nodded.

"I should've figured." We laughed.

"Hey, when do we get to Sound check?"

"Uhh, I don't know. I'll go ask." Kevin said and went to the driver. He came back a few seconds later. "Half hour."

"Nick, Jael said you were going to tell me something." Demi said and Nick explained to her about the new band and she was with it all the way.

"Guys, I want to read the script now." I said and everyone laughed.

"Then read it."

"But I want to read it without any interruptions. Cause we're gonna have to get off the bus when we get to the stadium, so," They nodded, understanding.

"And of course, you might not get the role. But when I saw it, it just screamed you. Plus, since you said you wanted to, you get to shave your head." My mouth dropped.

"Oh my God! I can! Would you guys hate me if I did?" I asked everyone.

"No, of course not." Demi said. "But get the part and read the script first before you decide." I laughed.

"Okay."

We finally got to sound check. I had to go wake up Evan, Matt, and Jesse about twenty before we got there to make sure they were ready. I told them the news and they were really excited for me. We put our things in our dressing rooms, then I ran to Jess and Lisa and told them the news.

"Oh my gosh, congrats babe!" Jess said and gave me a hug.

"This is gonna be awesome! Especially if you get the role." We laughed.

"We're definitely coming to the premier. I promise you." Jess said and I laughed.

"Thanks guys. Even though that won't be for like, another year, even if I do make it."

"You will make it. And we don't care how long away it is. We're coming!" I smiled.

"Thanks guys." A couple minutes later, I felt arms wrap around my waist. I turned my head a little and saw Joe. I smiled, and looked back at Jess and Lisa.

"You guys make such a hot couple." Lisa said and we laughed.

"I know. It's so sweet." Jess said

"Thank you." Joe said and kissed my cheek. "We're about to start sound check. You want to come and watch?"

"Sure. You guys coming?" I asked Jess and Lisa.

"Yea, we'll be there in a bit." Lisa said.

"Okay." Joe and I turned around and walked to the stage. Evan, Jesse, and Matt were just sitting on the stage and watched as Connect 3 played their songs. I went over to them and did the same. After about a half hour, they took I break. I grabbed an acoustic guitar and started playing something random. Garbo, John, and the rest of the band came and sat with us as I played.

"Okay, I wanna try and make something up." I said as I was playing the guitar.

"This is gonna be hilarious." Jesse said and pulled out his camera to record me.

"Feel free to jump in any time if you have an idea." I said. "There once was a dog," I began with a country accent. "A little blue dog. It drank beer and smoked cigarettes." Everyone laughed. "One day it woke up, and decided to quit. Then went to CVS and got Nicotine patches. Whooooooo-oo-ooohhh." I laughed. "Once upon a time, there was a purple little chicken, it woke up and wondered why it was purple! But then it looked in the mirror, because it was rich and could afford one," Everyone laughed including me. "And was curious why its feathers didn't match its beak. Its beak was yellow. A very ugly shade of mustard yellow. Why is mustered that color any way?"

"I don't know why but it sure do taste good on my hot dog. So then I add some pickles…and ketchup and Barbe-Q sauce. Because it tastes so good."

"You add Barbe-Q sauce to your hot dog?" John asked.

"Yes I do, John. Got a problem?" I said, still talking in my country accent while playing the guitar.

"Not at all."

"Good. Oooooohhhhhh!" Everyone bust out laughing and I stopped playing the guitar. "And that children, was called, The Little Blue Dog. I hope yall had a good time today. See you next time on Mr. Rodgers neighborhood." I said while looking at the camera and Jesse turned it off as everyone bust out laughing.

"Oh man, that was great." Kevin said. "I wish Danielle was already here to see that."

"When is she getting here?"

"Couple hours. There was a delay." I nodded.

"Hey! I want to make up a song for Lost. Turn the camera back on." Jesse turned on the camera and started recording me. "Hey kids, we're back on Mr. Rodgers neighborhood. And today, we'll be singing about Lost. Ready?" I asked everyone and the nodded. "Whoooooooooooo! On a sunny morning, a plane crashed on an island. And eeevvverrryone was so scared and ran. Jack, the doctor, saved people, and Boone asked for a pen, and Chaarrrrllliieee snorted Cocaine. OH!" Everyone laughed. "You turn to the right, and you see Shannon screaming. Then laaattter she dooes her nails. She don't care about nobody but herself, and getting off the damn island."

"You look around and you see an Asian man. Aaannnd he's speaking Spanish…or whatever language you speak in Asia," Everyone laughed. "He's telling his wife not to wander on the island, so she don't get Lost."

"Sawyerrrrrrrr! He's so damn sexy! He's smokin his cigarette as he reads the letter. And when you look into his eeyyyeeess! You see sadness. Because somebody shot his parents. But they didn't shoot him, because they couldn't find him. While he hid under the bed. OH!" Everyone laughed.

"Benjamin Linus, that lonely bug-eyed freak. He pretends he knows everything even though he knows nothing. And Sayiiidddd beats him to shit. OH! Richard. He wears eyeliner. But the weird thing is, he doesn't age."

"Oh no." Garbo said, pretending to act shocked.

"I know." Everyone laughed. "He's very smart. And people wonder," I slowed down the guitar and sang slowly. "If he's as smart as people put him out to beee-heeee-eee!" I finished and everyone cheered.

"I think I smell a new hit!" Demi said and we laughed. I played the guitar again.

"I said what what in the butt. I said what what in the butt. I said what what in the butt. I said what what in the butt. You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt? You wanna do it in my butt, in my butt? Let's do it in the butt. OKAY!" I copied the song from Southpark and everyone was dying of laughter. "So! Tell me what you want, what you really really want. I'll tell you what I want what I really really want. I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna," Demi said the 'hey' part between the 'I wanna' and clapped too. "I wanna really really really really zig-a-zig-ahh!"

"How about we switch to some Michael Buble?" I asked. "Birds flyin high, you know how I feel. Sun in the sky, you knooww how I feel. Something something something, and I'm feeeellin, good. I-I-I-I-I'm feelin gooood."

"Dude, this is hilarious!" Jess said as she and everyone else was laughing.

"Oh man." Nick said. "That was really funny. But sadly, we have to get back to soundcheck."

"Goddamn, Nick. You always have to ruin all the fun." I joked and everyone laughed. Jesse turned off the camera and we all just chilled and watched as Connect 3 played. When it was my turn, I grabbed the mike and sang This Is Me.

After Connect 3 was done, Demi and her band sang their songs and then The Veronicas went up. When everybody finished, they went to do whatever and Joe and I went to my dressing room. As soon as I closed the door, he turned to me and pulled me into a deep kiss. After a bit, I pulled away and we were both breathing heavily.

"I didn't get to kiss you today." He said and I laughed.

"I think that just made up for it." He smiled and pecked my lips one more time.

Joe and I sat on the couch and we were talking. We were both sitting diagonal of each other with our legs crossed.

"You wanna read the script with me?" I asked Joe and he nodded. I took it out and flipped to the first page.

I didn't expect the script to be this sad. My eyes watered like a million times while we were reading it, and I just broke towards the end. Joe kissed the side of my head.

"Jael, can I come in?" I heard Demi say outside the door.

"Yea." I yelled back and wiped my tears. When she walked in, she looked worried but then she saw the script on my lap and relaxed a little. "It's so sad!" I said and she laughed.

"Don't let me read it. I want to wait till the movie comes out." I smiled and wiped my tears again.

"Okay." She walked closer and I then realized she had a camera in her hands. She sat down beside me and sighed.

"So," She began. "I wanted to get a picture with just the three of us. You guys are two of my closest friends and it won't be official unless there's pictures."

Demi, Joe, and I took a few pictures.

"Thanks guys. I appreciate it. And umm, a while ago, before Joe went all crazy, we were really close and I got him that bracelet he's wearing. And I wear the exact same one. So, I got this necklace for you and I want you to have it. I'm wearing the exact same one, too." She handed me the necklace. I smiled and looked at her, then back at the necklace. It wasn't fancy or anything, but I loved it.

"Thank you Demi." I gave her a hug then put the necklace on.

"You're welcome." I sat on Joe's lap and the three of us talked for a couple hours. Eventually, Demi had to get ready because she had to go on stage soon. After she closed the door, I sighed and looked up at Joe. He looked down at me and kissed me. I placed my hand on the side of his face and deepened the kiss. After he pulled away, he kissed my forehead.

"Jael," Joe said.

"Hmm?"

"How are you doing? Honestly." I sighed.

"I don't know. I love my mom and I'll never understand why she had to die, but I realize that I have to move on. I can't hold on to her forever."

"Okay. But don't force yourself to get over her. If you're not ready, then you're not ready."

"I know."

"How about your dad? Your real dad, that is."

"I don't want to worry about him right now. My mom said that I could trust him and that's fine. But he has his own family and I don't want to pull him away from that. If I have to grow the rest of my life without parents, then fine. At least I have you and everyone else to help me through everything." He smiled.

"Good." He kissed my lips. Right then, I just had an idea. I pulled away and stood up. "What are you doing?"

"I was writing this song and I couldn't finish it. I got the first part and the chorus, but then the second verse was just a blank to me. But I think I got it now." I took my notebook out and sat back down next to Joe. I wrote the rest of the song and handed it to Joe to read. He smiled and handed it back to me.

"Can I listen to the full version when you have the music ready?" I nodded.

"Sure."

"But I don't understand the first verse. 'Now you think of saying, there's no use in praying. Still she bows her head so she can say, "Thank you for just one more day."'" I looked at it, sighed, then looked back at him.

"That's for another day." He nodded.

Later, Joe had to go get ready so him and the guys could go on stage. I decided to as well, and when I was done, I called Meaghan.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, how are you?"

"_I'm good how about you?"_

"I'm pretty good. You guys in LA?"

"_Yea, finally. And holy crap, I could've sworn I saw a Dementor and I had my wand ready and everything but then, poof, it went away. I'm thinking I have to go fly down to Hogwarts on my magical broomstick and talk to Mr. Potter."_

"Ooh. You do that with your big bad self." She laughed.

"_I will!"_ We both laughed. _"So, how are you and Joe? Any fights lately?"_

"No. And don't you jinx it, missy. We are fine."

"_I'm not, I'm just asking. Did they go on stage yet?"_

"Yea. I think I'm going on soon too. So, how's everybody?"

"_We're good. Caity, Kiwi, and I are gonna hang out tomorrow. Maybe do some shopping or something."_

"Awesome. Well, tell them I said hi." One of the stage workers came to me and said I had to go. "Hey, I have to go. I'll talk to you later, babe."

"_Okay. Good luck on stage. Bye."_ I hung up my phone, put it on the table, then went under the stage, waiting for it to come down so I could go up.

"Alright everyone." Joe said as the stage came down. "We would like to introduce you guys to our good friend, Jael Peirce!" The stage rose up completely and the music began playing.

"How you guys doin?" Everyone cheered. "Alright, I just wanna say, this tour is almost over. So I want to make these next couple weeks the best ever. I want everybody to stand up, and scream as loud as they can!" The screaming intensified by like, a hundred. "Sing it!"

After I got off stage, I went down to my dressing room. I changed back into sweats and a t-shirt, then went to Demi's dressing room. She was listening to John Lennon off of her laptop.

"Hey Dems." I said as I walked in. I sat next to her on the couch.

"Hey." She said. "Have you been writing music for your album?"

"Yea. I have a bunch of songs finished. I just don't know which ones would go on the album."

"Can you play some for me?" She asked with a hopeful smile and I laughed.

"Sure. And if you have any ideas if I should change the lyrics or the music or something, then tell me." I took my phone out and quickly updated my twitter.

_Singing some music for Demi that will be on my album._

"You and your twitter." Demi said and I laughed. I ran back to my dressing room to get my journal, then came back and sat on the keyboard. I flipped through the pages and decided on a song.

"This song is about my mom and I guess everything that went with Josh too. Sorry if I tear up a bit. It's called My Immortal." She walked over to the keyboard as well and sat beside me.

_I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears  
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave  
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still haunt all of me_

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

As I was singing, my eyes began to water and Demi rubbed my back for comfort.

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along_

_When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
But you still haunt all of me, me, me_

"That was amazing." Demi said and gave me a hug. I noticed her eyes watered a bit too.

"You okay?" Demi asked and I nodded as I wiped away the tears that fell.

"You wanna hear another?" I asked.

"Are you up for it?"

"Yea. Just a heads up, all my songs are pretty depressing." I said and we laughed. "Do you want to hear the one I sang on Final Jam? It's about my mom. I wrote it the day I found out she died." She nodded.

I sang Slipped Away for her, and of course, I ended up in tears and so did she. After I was done, Demi gave me a hug and we talked a bit. Then there was a knock on the door. We turned around and saw Joe there. He walked over to us, gave me a kiss, then sat on the floor in front of us.

"So," He began. "Me and the guys were thinking about moving to a house after the tour. There'll be more space and it'll be a lot easier to live in. What do you say?"

"I say let's do it. Do we know where?"

"We'll by a place in LA, then maybe later on, a place in Texas." I smiled.

"Awesome."

"You guys better move close to me." Demi said and we laughed.

"Scouts honor." I said and she smiled.

"More like Island's honor." We all laughed.

"Hell yes."

**I hope you guys liked this chapter. Just an FYI, the whole dream thing that Jael was telling Joe, it actually does happen to me. I haven't talked to my doctor about it and I'm pretty sure it's not Sleep Catalepsy, same for Jael.**

**And I thought about a few other ideas for this story that I hope you guys will support. Like I said before, I'm already writing chapter 21 so the more you review, the more you can catch up.**

**And that song Jael sang, it's My Immortal by Evanescence. And the song Slipped Away is by Avril Lavigne.  
I don't own either song.**

**Please review, thank you.**


	12. and they never stopped dancing

**So this chapter is…interesting. Haha, I hope you guys like it. And thank you for the reviews, they mean a lot to me.**

**And remember, your opinion is everything to me. If you don't like something, tell me and if I agree, I'll edit the chapter and repost it.**

Later that night, I met Danielle, Kevin's girlfriend and she was very nice and beautiful. The next day went by quick. Joe, Nick, Kevin, and I looked at houses online and there were so many nice ones. But I was mostly excited for today. It was my audition for My Sister's Keeper and I couldn't contain my excitement and nervousness.

"Jael, relax!" Demi said while laughing. "I'm not gonna lie, auditions are pretty nerve-wrecking but it gets easier once you relax!"

"How the hell can I relax when I'm going to my first audition ever for an amazing, well written script?"

"By sitting your ass down and taking a deep breath! Drink some tea; read a book, the script maybe, something! The more you panic, the worse the audition will go."

"She's right." Joe agreed. "Sit down and breathe." I walked over to him and sat beside him, and sighed.

"I just hope I get the part." I said and rested my head on his shoulder. "How am I supposed to know which parts of the script I'm supposed to read?"

"Usually they go over different parts of the script. Like, different emotions to see what parts you can act and what parts you can't."

"Okay. Since the movie is sad, how am I supposed to cry? I never really knew how to force myself to."

"Just think of something that makes you cry." Demi said. "Not to drop your mood, but like your mom. Just think of her." I nodded.

"Okay."

"How about I help you with your lines?" Demi asked.

"Seriously?"

"Yea."

"I thought you didn't want to read the script?"

"Ehh, what the hell? Come on." I smiled and stood up.

"Okay, let me get the script." I ran to the back room and grabbed the script, then went back to Demi, Joe, and Brad. I flipped through the pages and chose a part for us to practice. Afterwards, we did a couple more scenes then the driver told us we would be there in five minutes.

"Brad, you're going in there with me, right?" I asked.

"Not in the actual audition room but I'll be waiting in the waiting room for you."

"Oh, and since we never got our new phones, we're getting them after your audition, then we're going to sound check." Joe said.

"Okay. I want a blackberry." I said and smiled and they laughed.

We got to the audition building. Everybody, including Kenny, wished me luck and Brad and I left. I took my script with me and we both sat in the slightly empty waiting room.

"There are only a few people here because it's pretty late in the auditioning process for this movie. If you auditioned a couple weeks ago, this room would be full of people." Brad whispered to me and I nodded.

A woman would come out of a room, calling people in to audition. Soon, it was just me, nervously waiting to go in.

"Jael Pierce." She said as she looked at her clipboard.

"Shit." I muttered.

"Good luck."

"Thank you." I picked up the script and left my bag with Brad, then followed the lady in the room.

"Hi,"

"Hello,"

"How are you?" The three people in the room said.

"Hi, I'm good, how about yourself?"

"Good. I'm Nick Cassavetes, the director of this movie."

"Jeremy Leven, I wrote the script with Nick."

"And I'm Jodi Picoult. I wrote the book." I smiled.

"So Jael," Nick began. "This is your first audition, I believe?"

"Yes."

"You sing?" I nodded.

"Yea, I'm currently on tour with a few bands."

"Planning on having an album?"

"Soon, hopefully."

"What type of music?"

"Umm, rock, metal, stuff like that." They nodded.

"You nervous?" Jeremy asked.

"Right now? Uhh, yes." They laughed.

"Just relax. Let me see your script." I handed it to him and he flipped through a couple pages. "Okay, read the parts of Kate." He said as he handed it back to me. "This scene is supposed to be relaxed. Imagine yourself on a field with your little sister." I did as I was told and sighed.

"Okay."

"You've read the script, right?" Jodi asked and I nodded. "Okay. So you know, in this part, Anna is talking about you dying."

"Alright."

"Ready?"

"Yea."

"I'll be Anna." Jodi said. _"You scared?"_

"_No, I know I'll be okay."_ I read from the script.

"_What do you think happens? I mean, where do you go?"_

"_I don't know, baby. But who knows? Where ever it is, maybe I'll run into Taylor."_

"_Will you wait for me?"_

"_What?"_

"_If you go anywhere crazy, will you wait? I mean, how will I know how to find you?"_

"_If you're lost or scared, go to Montana."_

"_Montana?"_

"_Yea. That's where I'll be."_

"That was really good!" Nick said.

"Really?" I smiled and they nodded.

"Okay, let me see your script again" I handed it back and he flipped through the pages again. "You're supposed to be crying in this scene, so if you can, cry." I nodded. "Ready?"

"Yea." I started. _"It's been three days, mom. I leave messages and he won't call me back!"_ My eyes began watering the instant I said 'mom'.

"_Did you guys get into a fight after the prom?"_

"_No."_

"_Well, maybe he's busy. You know, maybe he went out of town for an emergency or something. Maybe it has nothing to do with you."_ I began pacing in the room.

"_We did it! Okay?"_ I raised my arms out in frustration, trying to fit how the character was supposed to be acting. _"We did it and now he won't call me back!" _Tears spilled out of my eyes.

"_You did it?"_

"_That's right!"_

"_What do you mean you did it? You did 'it' it?"_

"_No, but we did some stuff, okay?"_

"_Stuff? What kind of stuff?"_

"_Mom, I don't want to talk about it with you! I just told you because I'm mad!"_

"Wow, good job!" The three of them clapped and I laughed as I wiped my tears away.

"Thank you." We did a couple more scenes.

"You know, I think we have enough. You did really well, and we'll give you a call." I smiled.

"Thank you so much. Bye guys." They handed me back my script and I went back to the waiting room where Brad was.

"Hey. How'd you do?" He asked me.

"They said I did really good and would give me a call."

"Well, let's hope they meant that. Come on, I have a taxi waiting outside."

Brad and I met Joe, Nick, and Kevin at the Verizon store.

"Hey! How was the audition?" Joe asked me as he gave me a hug.

"It was good. They said I did a great job and that they would give me a call."

"I hope you get the part. That's awesome!" Kevin said as he hugged me and I smiled.

"Thanks Kev."

"It would be pretty sweet if you actually did get it, though." Nick said as I hugged him.

"Gee, thanks Nick." They laughed. "Did you guys choose your phones out, yet?"

"Yea. We're just waiting on you. The blackberry's are over there." I walked over and played with each of them for a bit, then chose one. We paid for them, got the contacts switched over, then went outside into a black SUV waiting for us. On our way to sound check, I was playing with my phone.

"Haha, I love new phones." I said.

"What're you doing?" Joe asked.

"Playing Bejeweled." They all laughed. I got on twitter, which was much easier with this phone, and changed my status.

_Got a new phone! I love my crackberry already[: I hope you all are doing well. Can't wait for the show tonight._

We got to sound check and of course, there were a bunch of fans there. I signed a couple notebooks for people but of course, the guys did more. I waited for them then we went inside. I gave Demi a hug when I saw her and the same for Jess and Lisa.

Sound check went by quick and I was now in my dressing room with my band, Demi, Jess, Lisa, Joe, Nick, and Kevin, playing random stuff on the guitar as I chilled on the couch.

This week was almost over, which meant we only had one more week for tour to be over and ever since my audition, I've been so nervous. Every time my phone rang, I was hoping it was the director of the movie but it never was.

We were all in the tour bus, waiting to get to our next city. Joe kept taking random pictures and Polaroid's of me. When I was laughing, eating, pissed, walking to the bathroom. It never ended. But of course, I took a lot of pictures too. Of him, and everything else. Life on the road, what everyone looked like when they woke up in the morning, crazy fans banging on the bus as we were driving.

Joe and I were currently in our hotel room, lying down on our bed. We were in our PJ's and he was wearing his glasses.

"So," He began as I rested my head on his chest and he twirled my hair around his finger. "How has this tour been for you so far?"

"Fun." I said. "I like the feeling of being on stage. It's amazing."

"Excited for your album?"

"Yea. I wish it were out already though. I'm impatient."

"It'll be out in no time. Have you thought of a band name yet?"

"A couple has crossed my mind but nothing that strike as amazing."

"Does it help if I say that you strike me as amazing?" I laughed.

"Why, yes it does." He chuckled and turned his head to look at me. I looked back at him and for some reason just by looking into his eyes, relief washed over me.

All of a sudden he stood up and got off the bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"Stand up."

"What?"

"Stand up."

"Why?" I asked as I took his hand that was held out for me and got off the bed.

"Because I feel like dancing."

"But there's no music."

"Who says you have to dance to music?" I smiled as he pulled me closer to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as did he around my waist.

"Just a heads up, I can't slow dance." He chuckled.

"Just follow my lead. You'll do fine." For some reason, I couldn't stop smiling. I rested my head against his chest as we just…danced. No music. Nobody to interrupt us. Nothing. And I loved it.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you too." I looked up at him and he looked down at me. He leant down and gave me a kiss. I pulled my arms to my side, against his chest and he wrapped his arms completely around me without stopping the dancing.

"I love you." I said again against his lips and he chuckled.

"I love you too." He pulled away.

"I don't want this to ever end." I said as I rested my forehead against his chest.

"Me neither." We were quiet for a bit. In a comforting silence. "Jael,"

"Hmm?"

"I understand that you're not ready to tell me everything about you, but I just don't understand why you won't." I sighed.

"I'm afraid of your reaction, I guess. I just…I'm scared."

"But you don't have to be."

"I know I don't. And I want to tell you, I really do. But for some reason, I can't."

"Jael, please. I promise whatever it is; I'll be there for you. I swear."

"I know you will. But…I can't."

"Please. Just try."

"You're ruining the moment, Joe." He chuckled.

"I'm sorry. We'll have other moments like this. I promise. It'll be our thing."

"Okay." I smiled.

"Will you tell me now?"

"Joe, I-"

"On three. Just say it on three." I sighed.

"Fine."

"Alright?"

"Yea."

"One," I rested my head back on his chest. "Two," I shut my eyes tight. "Three."

"I was raped."

And we never stopped dancing.


	13. Congrats To The New Couple

**Read Please: I just wanted to say I already mentioned the rape in chapter 7. A couple of you that reviewed said something like 'I knew that's what happened' or whatever, but yea. I'm going to upload an Author's Note pretty soon to explain the rape a little to those who forgot and some other stuff so check that out. **

Something…changed about Joe. I never should have told him in the first place. Damnit. He kept telling me he was fine but we both knew he was lying. I told Demi everything, and she was as shocked as Joe was. But I couldn't stop crying. Joe won't even look at me the same anymore and I didn't understand why. Demi said he would come around but it's been days and he hasn't.

"Demi, he hates me now." I told her in tears while we were sitting in her dressing room.

"He does not, Jael."

"Maybe I shouldn't have told him in the first place."

"Jael, don't say that. It's good you told him. What did you feel when you finally got it off your chest?"

"I felt…relieved. Like the world has been lifted off my shoulders. But that was before I could tell Joe got all paranoid. Now the weight is back again and it won't go away!" She sighed. "I just…I don't want to lose him."

"You won't."

"Because I already have."

"No, Jael! Stop. Just stop. He loves you! He is just scared. That's all."

"Of what?"

"Of Josh! Hell, I know I am. He's scared and worried and probably freaking out right now."

"So, what am I supposed to do, Demi?" She sighed. "He is everything to me."

"Jael, he loves you. I promise you that."

"How do you know?"

"Because the love between the two of you is nothing I have ever seen before. Every time I see you guys, I wish I shared that same love with Cody or someone. I swear, not even my parent's share the same love you guys do. It's intense. It's real. Something you see in movies or read in stories." Another wave of tears washed over me. "If he was stupid enough to not love you anymore, then he has some serious problems. Just talk to him. Tonight or tomorrow, whatever. But tour is almost over so make sure you guys are better than ever before then." I nodded and gave her a hug.

"I love you, Demi." She smiled.

"I love you, too."

Later that night, we stayed in a hotel. Tomorrow was the day we decided to have a birthday party for everybody. Marissa and Demi's mom would be coming tomorrow and they said they had something planned as a present while we were on stage. We were flying in Caity and Meaghan as well.

It was around twelve at night and I was lying in bed, facing the opposite direction of Joe. My arms were crossed over my chest and tears were sliding down my cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Joe asked me and I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"Nothing." I sniffed.

"Jael, we both know that's a lie. Tell me what's wrong." I sat up and angrily removed the blanket off me.

"You know what's wrong." I told him and walked out of the room and onto the balcony in the living room. I leaned against the rail and just looked out into the beautiful city. A few minutes later, I heard the balcony door slide open and shut.

"You're gonna get sick if you stay out here." I ignored him and he sighed. "Jael, I-"

"Don't even say it, Joe." I said as I turned to face him. "You wanted to know and I told you. Now you won't even look at me in the eyes anymore. I did what you wanted me to do and it's like you don't love me anymore."

"Don't say that." I scoffed.

"I'm sorry but I just did." I walked past him and back into the hotel room. He followed behind and closed the door.

"Jael, I'm sorry!"

"No, you're not!"

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to tell me why you're changing! You promised you would be there for me if I told you! I didn't want to tell you because I knew this would happen!" More tears ran down my cheeks. "I'm sorry I told you! I'm sorry I got raped! Trust me, if I could take it all back, I would! But I can't change the past! If I could, none of this would be happening! I wouldn't be where I am today! I would have never gone to Camp Rock! And I would have never met you!"

"You wish you never met me?"

"It would spare you the drama and all the shit I brought along with me into your life."

"If I never met you then I would have never changed."

"I'm sure someone else would have gone into your life and helped you with that."

"No. No one else would have because no one else is you. I love you, Jael." I shook my head.

"No, you don't."

"Yes, I do! And you know I do."

"Do I?"

"I've been telling you that every single day-"

"And sometimes I question myself if you really mean it."

"You don't mean that."

"Don't I?"

"Jael, I don't want to fight with you. Please, just-"

"Just what? You promised you would be there for me if I told you!"

"I was scared! Damn it, Jael, I was scared! I'm worried! Can't you see that I'm freaking out? I made a mistake and I know that! But I can't lose you!"

"Maybe you should've thought of that before you pushed me away." I said without looking at him and right then, I wish I could take those words back…but then again, I don't.

"Jael, I," He paused and sighed. I could tell tears were sliding down his face as well but I didn't look at him. I couldn't. I knew if I did, I would break down right there. "Where does this leave us, then?" I shut my eyes as more tears came.

"Maybe we should take a break." I said quietly. I knew those were the last words he wanted to hear. Hell, they were the last words I wanted to say. But maybe this would be good for us. Find out if we were really meant to be. "I'll get my things and sleep in Demi's room." He didn't move. I walked away and as soon as I got in the room, I broke down. I tried not to sob but the tears wouldn't stop flowing.

I grabbed my suitcase that had all my things in them and walked out the hotel room. Joe was still in the same spot as before. Randomly, I felt a sharp pain in my heart. I broke it. I broke my own fucking heart. And his too.

I knocked on Demi's door. I tried wiping my tears away but there was no point since they just kept on coming. I knocked on the door again and a few seconds later, she opened it. She let me in right away and I could tell she was confused when she saw my suitcase with me.

"Jael, what happened?"

"Joe and I broke up."

"What?" She led me to the couch and I explained to her everything that happened.

"It's all my fault, I know, but I just…maybe it'll be good for us."

"Jael…I can't believe you guys actually broke up. That was never supposed to happen. Ever. You guys are perfect for each other and are deeply in love. What made you think otherwise?"

"I don't know. I just don't feel like I deserve him."

"Jael, look at me." I looked at her. "You deserve him. You deserve everything that you have."

"No. Not him. I don't even deserve a friend like you."

"But I want a friend like you." She said. "You better not break up with me too or I'll start kicking and screaming." I laughed and pulled her into a hug.

I hadn't slept that night. Around eight in the morning, I went to the bathroom. I had bags under my eyes and tearstains on my cheek. Basically, I looked like complete shit. I was hoping everything that happened yesterday didn't really happen, but it did. And I regret it a million percent.

Later on after I washed up and wrote a couple songs, Demi woke up and went to the bathroom. When she came out, her hair was wet and she sat beside me on the couch.

"I'm gonna call room-service for some coffee. You want some?"

"Sure."

After it came, we drank it together in her living room. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. She went to go see who it was and looked in the peephole.

"It's Joe." She told me. I stood up and went to the bedroom but stayed close to the door so I could hear what they were saying. "Hey Joe,"

"Hey," He sounded terrible.

"Do you want to come in? Jael's in the bathroom."

"No, umm, here." He handed her something. "She forgot it in my room."

"Okay. I'll give it to her." It was quiet for a bit. "Joe, I-"

"Don't. Excuse me." And with that, he left. I walked back to the living room.

"Jael, he looks terrible. Here," She handed me my phone. "Joe said you forgot it there." I nodded. "Are you guys officially broken up or just taking a break?"

"A break." I told her. "And honestly, I wish none of that ever happened. But…I don't know…I just don't feel right for him. He's too good for me."

"Yea, but you know if you told him that, he would say you're too good for him."

"But I'm not good at anything, Demi. I'm a depressed idiot who can't except anything good I get."

"Jael, he loves you!"

"And I love him but how can I be with someone when I'm falling apart day-by-day?"

"So he can help put you back together!"

"I don't want to put him through all that trouble!"

"What if he wants to be put through all the trouble? Have you ever thought of that? Maybe he wants to help you! Help, Jael. It's what you need and it's what he can give you! I know I'm being harsh but it's the truth. If you want any help at all, nobody can you help you as much as he can! I'm here for you and so are all your other friends but he's the only one who can help you completely." I looked down in my cup of coffee.

"I know." She sighed.

"So what's the problem?"

"I…" I shrugged. "I'm scared."

"Of?"

"Of…I don't know. I'm scared that if we are together, then something bad will happen and I don't want to go through the pain."

"But you're going through it now. He's going through it now."

"I know."

"When are you going to talk to him?"

"Tomorrow, maybe?" She nodded.

"Okay. Just make sure you do it."

We talked for a little more and finished our coffee, but then I remembered I had to talk to Nick and Kevin about the birthday thing we were doing. I told Demi I would see her later and went to knock on the guys' room. When the door opened, my breath caught in my throat. It was Joe. And like Demi said, he looked terrible. I doubt I looked any better, though.

"Umm, are Nick and Kevin in here?"

"Yea." He said blankly.

"Can you tell them to come out? I uhh, need to talk to them." He nodded.

"Okay." He closed the door and I looked down, tears forming in my eyes. I blinked them away and a few minutes later, Nick and Kevin walked out.

"Hey guys,"

"Hey," They both said.

"Umm, Nick, remember I told you about the birthday thing?"

"Yea."

"We need to set everything up for it. Let's go tell the guys." They followed me to Matt, Evan, and Jesse's room. We explained to them everything and they were down with all of it. We then told Brad and he said he would tell the stage crew and stuff.

"When are Demi's mom, Marissa, Meaghan, and Caity coming?" He asked.

"Later tonight. A couple hours before the show."

"Okay. And do they know what's going on?"

"Meaghan does but we just told Caity we have a surprise for her."

"Alright. I'll make sure everyone knows except Joe, Caity, and Demi." We thanked him then left.

"When's sound check?"

"Two hours." Kevin said.

"Jael," Nick said. "With what happened with you and Joe, he said he feels like complete shit and he hates himself for it. He never wanted you guys to fight or break up." I looked down with my arms crossed over my chest. "He really loves you and doesn't want to lose you."

"Yea, a lot of people are saying that." I mumbled. "I'll see you guys later." I walked inside Demi's room.

After about an hour, we started getting ready for sound check. When we were done, a couple people came up and took our things down to the tour bus, then we left down to the SUV that would take us. I didn't say anything the whole ride there and when we arrived, I went straight to my dressing room.

A few minutes later, Evan, Jesse, and Matt came and said it was time for me to sing This Is Me. I followed them up to the stage and grabbed the mic from its stand. I didn't look at Joe while I was singing; I didn't even move that much, but a couple times I felt his eyes on me. When he sang his part, it wasn't the same as usual. There wasn't the magic I usually felt. Once again, I regretted everything I said to him that night. I couldn't handle not being with him. Not now or ever.

Later on, Demi's mom, Marissa, Caity, and Megs came and they hid backstage. I sang This Is Me and afterwards, I smiled out on to the crowd.

"Okay," I began. "Before I leave, I want Demi Lovato, Caitlyn Gellar, and Meaghan Martin to come on the stage." A few seconds later, they did, and Demi and Caity looked confused but I smiled when I saw Caity cause I hadn't seen her yet. "Now, I want all of you to do me a favor." They cheered. "I want you to sing Happy Birthday to Demi, Caity, and Joe. Ready? One, two, Happy Birthday to you!" Everyone sang. "Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday Demi, Joe, and Caity, Happy Birthday to you!"

"Okay, now! We have a surprise for you, Demi." I said and smiled. "As we all know, it is Demi Lovato's Sweet 16!" Everyone cheered. "Come on out, guys!" Demi's mom and Marissa came out and when Demi saw them, she screamed and ran to give both of them a hug. I smiled at how her and her mom were really close. I walked over to them and gave them both a hug, then handed the mic to Demi's mom.

"Demi," She said. "I want you to look up there for me, okay?" She pointed at the huge screen above us and Demi nodded. A few seconds later, a slide show played. It was pictures of Demi since she was a baby till now and a few pictures with some fans, her friends, and family. A couple of the pictures they played were the one that Demi had just taken a few days ago with Joe and I. My eyes watered a bit and I looked over at Joe. He looked at me then looked down. I sighed and looked back at the screen.

I looked over at Demi and noticed she was crying.

"Thank you guys so much!" Demi said into the mic as the slideshow came to an end. "You guys are amazing and I couldn't have done it without you. And I'm crying right now, so thank you." She touched some of the crowd's hands and then ran over to me and gave me a hug. "Thank you." She said so only I could hear and I smiled.

"It was all your family, Demi. Not me. But it was my idea to do something on stage for you so you're welcome." She laughed and then gave everybody else on the stage a hug.

Later on, we all went down to the dressing rooms, except for Connect 3 cause they had to finish their concert. Marissa and Demi's mom introduced themselves to me and we talked and became pretty close. Demi's mom was so short and tiny. I laughed because we were probably about the same height and considering that I was really short-yea, I think you got it.

I gave Meaghan and Caity a huge hug. I talked to them for a bit, asking them how it was in LA. Then we talked to Marissa and Dianna some more. They got to know Evan, Matt, and Jesse and about 20 minutes later, Joe, Nick, and Kevin came in. As Nick, Joe, and Kevin caught up on things with Dianna and Marissa, I looked over and saw Matt and Caity talking. They were on the other side of the room so I couldn't hear them, but from what I could tell, Caity seemed excited.

As much as Dianna wanted to stay, she said she had to go back to Dallas. Marissa was allowed to stay for the rest of the tour, though. Caity and Meaghan decided to leave with Dianna. I gave the three of them a hug, then Caity gave Matt a hug, and then they left.

"Do you guys mind if Jael can stay over on my bus with Marissa, Cody, and I?" Demi asked the guys and they said no. I grabbed my things from the guys' tour bus and took it to Demi's. It was a lot quieter on her bus because there weren't as many people and it wasn't as crowded either.

"Demi, I think Matt asked Caity out." I told her.

"What?" She said as we all sat down. "What makes you think that?"

"While we were in the dressing room, they were in the other side of the room talking and Caity seemed really excited."

"Well call her! Make her spill!" I laughed and took my phone out.

"_Hey Jael,"_

"Hey Kate. It's me, Demi, Cody, and Marissa."

"_Hey guys,"_

"Hey," They said in unison.

"Okay," I began. "What's going on with you and Matt?"

"_What? I don't know what you're talking about."_

"Cut the crap, Caity." Demi said. "Did he ask you out?"

"_Yea,"_ She mumbled.

"Oh my god! Why aren't you happy!"

"_Are you kidding me? I'm flipping out like crazy! I can't stop smiling and Megs is killing me, trying to make me tell her. I'm trying to wait till we get on the plane so we don't run out of things to talk about but she's SO impatient!"_

"_I heard that!"_ We heard Meaghan say and we all laughed.

"_Anyways, I'm so happy! He said we'd make it official after the tour. You know, go on dates and stuff. I can't wait."_ We laughed.

"Well, we're excited for you." Marissa said.

"_Thank you. Hey, they just called our plane. I'll talk to you guys later."_

"_Bye!"_ Megs said and we laughed.

"Bye." We all said and I sighed.

"I miss him." I said and they looked at me.

"Talk to him, then." Demi replied.

"I know. I will. Soon."

**Read the little note at the top if you haven't yet. Thank you. And review please.**


	14. Author's Note 1

**Hey Guys,**

**the first thing I wanted to talk about was the chapter before the last when Jael told Joe she got raped.**

**i think some of you forgot that it was mentioned in chapter 7, so you can check it out there if you want.**

**basically it was by Josh, Jael's 'father' but it's not really her father if you remember that she found out Luke was.**

**And the second thing,**

**I've been re-reading Camp Rock, the first story to Her Life and I'm editing it and reposting it. I'm not asking you guys to reread the whole story but I'm just telling you.**

**I realized that after Jael's mother died, I didn't make her seem as depressed as I thought I did. I'm trying to fix that as best as I can but it's kind of hard because it's a lot to type.**

**and I want to change something else. I hate having to keep changing my mind, and i'm sorry if this is annoying, but it's nothing too drastic.**

**basically, what i've led on was that Jael was born in Ireland until she was I think 4 and lived in Canada till she was 14 then moved to New York after that. But while she was in New York and Canada, she moved a lot.**

**So I'm going to change the years a little so that she was born and stayed in ireland till she was 4, lived in Canada till she was 11, then moved to New York and that's where she went to school and met Evan, Matt, Jesse, and basically where everything happened.**

**and last, and hopefully this is it.**

**basically by now, this story has stopped being a 'Camp Rock' story. And now, it's just Jael's life, pretty much. I have a loooot planned and i'm hoping you'll like it. If anybody has ideas, please speak up.**

**and if you don't like anything i'm doing, speak up as well. i accept criticism, and i've said it before.**

**thank you.**


	15. Must Read Author's Note

**this is a must read, i apologize, but please don't skim through.**

**just read.**

**So here's the deal, i know, another author's note, i'm sorry.**

**but i'm not.**

**what's happening with me right now is that i sort of grew out of my JB/Demi Lovato/Miley Cyrus stage.**

**I don't hate any of them, and I was never obsessed with them or really liked their music, i just liked them. But now, it's just…whatever. I don't really want to do anything with them. Except Demi, I still like her as a person, and Miley needs to chill out with her slutty-ness on stage and she would be good as a person too, but that's it.**

**And I feel like i can't do what I want with this story because it's under 'Camp Rock' and this is not Camp Rock at all, or Disney for that matter. I'm a completely different person then I was when I started this story and I sort of want to change it a lot, but then again, i don't.**

**I know, i'm not making any sense right now.**

**but i'm gonna try and sum this up as best as i can.**

**i come up with a bunch of ideas for this story but i feel like i can't use it because a lot of you guys won't agree with it, number one, two, nobody ever reviews so i have no idea if you like what i do or not, and 3, i need opinions! every time i ask you guys for your opinion or something, no one ever helps so i'm kind of stuck.**

**so i was thinking of just ending this story. i would finish where i planned to but i would fast forward a lot in my chapters, you know like 'a couple months had gone by, yadayadabullshit' but i was doing that any way cause i wanted to catch up with 2010 since i'm still in 2008 in the story.**

**yea, i know.**

**so PLEASE review and tell me if you think i should go on with my ideas, if you want me to spoil for what i have for the future of the story if i don't cut it short, or if you would be okay if i changed it up A LOT, and when i say a lot, i mean A LOT but i would do it so it's not confusing. Maybe for the new readers, if i ever get any, it would be, but for the ones i have now, i would just summarize what happened with Jael's life or whatever.**

**TELL ME, TELL ME, TELL ME!**

**and if you don't, i won't even finish. i'll just delete the story all together.**

**no joke. i'll probably delete my fanfiction account too cause i'm sick of the internet.**

**thank you.**


	16. Reuniting Loves

I stayed on Demi's bus for the next few days. It was now only two days till the tour was over and I still hadn't talked to Joe. I haven't been sleeping all that much either but I have been writing a lot. A couple days ago, I almost lost it. I didn't want to live anymore, really. I couldn't stop crying and I just…didn't want to do anything. Not even get out of bed. I'm pretty sure everyone noticed, even the fans while I was on stage.

It even came to a point where I almost cut myself. I used to do it when I was in middle school but I stopped because of my mother. I didn't want to get into that habit again. I still have some of the scars but I usually just cover them up with make up so the media or the fans don't notice.

Caity and Meaghan don't know what happened between Joe and I. Not even my band knows. They've noticed we haven't been talking but they didn't say anything.

And it was weird because, whenever we signed stuff for the fans or took pictures, and my arm would just slightly touch his, I would feel something. It was really weird but it made me miss him even more. And it was especially awkward when a fan wanted us to take a picture together with them. He would wrap his arm around my waist and just being so close to him never felt so good.

Cody Linley flew in yesterday to be with Demi the next few days. Of course, everything he said made everyone laugh. But for me, I just…couldn't.

I'm still in shock that Joe and I have been separated for about a week. Kevin, Nick, Demi and Marissa have been telling me that we both have been going crazy and needed to get back together but something was holding me back.

Earlier today, I tried thinking of a band name for the guys and I. I came up with a few but none that I liked. I asked the guys if they had any but none of theirs were good enough, either. No offense to them. It was now sound check and I was sitting on the stage while Connect 3 was singing their songs. I had my notebook with me and I was writing songs but then all of a sudden, I heard something and I couldn't write anymore. I looked up and they were playing Gotta Find You. My eyes watered instantly. I would have gotten up to go to the dressing room but I had to sing This Is Me next so there was no point. I usually would just stay there until someone called me to come up here but today, I decided to stay. And while they were playing that song, something clicked inside me.

I stood up as the song came to an end and blinked my tears away. I walked to the mic and sang as the music started. When I finished, I sat down where I was before and continued writing.

Later on, I went down to my dressing room and started playing the guitar. I thought what I was playing sounded really well with one of the songs I wrote so I put it together. I decided to go to the guys dressing room since they haven't read or heard any of the songs I wrote. I took my notebook with me and walked out of my dressing room. On my way out, I bumped into Joe and I got a weird feeling in my heart.

"Sorry," I said without looking at him and continued walking. I knocked on the guys door before I went in. "Hey guys," I said as I walked in.

"Yo," Matt said. "What's up?"

"So," I said as I relaxed on the couch. "Tomorrow is the last day of tour, which means we have to work on our album."

"And your movie." Evan said and I smiled.

"If I make it." They all had weird looks on their faces but I ignored it and continued talking. "And I realized you guys haven't heard anything I've written, so, I was thinking why not I play some for you?"

"Sure." I grabbed their acoustic guitar and played a few songs for them, then I switched to the keyboard and played some more.

I wiped the tears that shed and after I finished most of the songs I wrote for the album, I turned to the guys.

"So?" I asked.

"They were awesome!" Jesse said and I smiled.

"They really were." Evan agreed.

"Matt?" I asked and he had a huge smile on his face. "That last one was about me, wasn't it?" The last one was one for me and Joe and I laughed.

"Oh yea, totally." I agreed and he nodded, as if he already knew. I smiled and gave him a hug.

The four of us hung out till it was time to go on stage. I went under the stage where the riser thing was and stepped on it. As it slowly rose up, I looked at Joe. He was staring at me and had a slight smile on his face. What was up with everyone and smiling at me today?

After I sang the song, I smiled at the crowd.

"Jael!" I heard someone yell and turned around to see Kevin. "Someone wants to talk to you." He handed me a cell phone.

"Hello?" I said, confusedly.

_"Jael Pierce?"_

"Yes?"

_"This is Nick Cassavetes, the director of My Sister's Keeper. Congratulations. You got the part for Kate Fitzgerald."_ My mouth dropped.

"What?" He laughed.

_"You got the part for Kate Fitzgerald."_ I couldn't speak or move. _"You're probably pretty shocked right now, so I'm gonna hang up. And I'll call your cell in a couple days and talk to you more about it. Bye."_ He hung up the phone and my mouth was still dropped open. I turned to everybody on the stage and they were laughing as tears formed in my eyes. Kevin took the phone away from me and I placed both of my hands over my mouth.

"Oh my god! Wha-" It the hit me. "You guys knew!" I said into the mic, pointing to the guys on stage and they all nodded as they laughed. "Holy crap!" I noticed a camera to the side of the stage. "You recorded my reaction? Oh my god!" They laughed even more. "You guys are probably really confused right now. Umm," I couldn't stop smiling. "I auditioned for a movie and," Tears formed in my eyes again and I couldn't talk.

"Awe!" The audience said and I laughed as I covered my face with my hands.

"And umm, I got the part that I wanted and I'm really excited." Everyone cheered extremely loud. I turned back to everyone on stage. Kevin had already taken the phone but he was still standing behind me. I gave him a hug and he picked me up and spun me around.

"I want all of you guys to congratulate Jael and wish her luck." Nick said into the mic. I let go of Kevin and waved to the crowd, then got off the stage. I ran down to the dressing rooms and into Demi's.

"Oh my god!" I screamed. Demi, Marissa, and Cody laughed.

"I told you she would come down here." Demi said. "Congrats Jael!" The three of them gave me a hug.

"I can't believe I got the part!" A few seconds later, Evan, Jesse, and Matt walked in. They ran towards me and I knew instantly what they were gonna do. I ran away from them, on to the couch but they just jumped on top of me.

"Congrats Jael!" They all yelled and I couldn't stop laughing.

"You guys are killing me!" I screamed and they laughed as they got off. I sat up and fixed my hair, then sighed and smiled. "Oh my god!" I said as I leant down and rested my head on my lap. "I have to call Caity and Meaghan." I went to my dressing room and grabbed my phone. "Guess what guys?"

_"What?"_ They both said.

"I got the part I wanted in My Sister's Keeper!" Both of them screamed and I laughed.

_"Congratulations!"_

"Thank you! I'm so excited! You should've seen me on stage. I couldn't talk and I was crying. But they recorded it so it'll probably end up on YouTube soon."

_ "Well, we'll definitely watch it when it does! I'm so excited for you!"_ Caity said.

_"Same here! And guess what!" _ Meaghan said.

"What?"

_"I auditioned for this show and the director said that I might get the part and I'm so excited!"_

"Really? That's awesome! Good luck."

_"Thank you!"_

We talked for a little more, then they said they had to go. I looked at the time. The guys should be off stage by now. I went over to Nick, Joe, and Kevin's dressing room and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Kevin said and I opened it.

"Hey guys," I said. "Umm, can I talk to Joe, for a minute, please?" They both nodded and walked out of the room. I closed the door behind them and turned to see Joe standing a few feet away from me.

"Congratulations on getting the part." He said. I looked down and smiled.

"Thanks." It was quiet for a bit.

"Jael, I'm really sorry." Joe began. "I was stupid and I shouldn't have done what I did, and realizing how bad it affected you, I never meant for it to happen. I never wanted us to fight and especially to break up. I was dying without you in my life. I couldn't stand myself for what I did." Tears began sliding down my cheeks.

"You said you would be there for me." I told him. "And then you wouldn't even look me in the eyes anymore. You don't understand how I felt when you did that to me. I felt like you didn't even love me anymore."

"But I do love you. I've always loved and I'll never stop loving you. I was scared, Jael. I know I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I just…I don't even know why I did that. I wasn't thinking and knowing that I hurt you, especially after you broke up with me, it killed me. I swear to you I just wanted to hold you in my arms and tell you everything would be okay." More tears came down my cheeks. I hadn't realized Joe had moved closer. "I was wrong. And I know that, but I want your forgiveness. I can't stand not having you in my life." I looked down then back at him.

"Okay." I whispered. "I forgive you." He smiled and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he tightened his arms around my waist. Without letting go of the hug, he leant down and kissed me deeply. I missed this, I really did, but I just don't feel right. I don't think I can tell him the other, way more serious thing that happened to me. I still love him, more than anything, but I don't want this to happen again.

After he pulled away, he kissed my forehead.

"I love you." He told me.

"Me too."

"Jael, honestly," I looked at him. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"No. That was the last thing."

"Are you sure?"

"Yea. I promise." He pulled me into another hug and I couldn't hold in my tears anymore.

"Why are you crying?" He looked at me.

"I just missed you." He smiled.

"I missed you too." He rested his forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay."

"No. It's not. I should have never done that and I don't know what to do to make it up to you."

"Just be there for me. That's all I ask."

"Always."

**Thank you guys so much for the suggestions. All of you want me to continue, which is good, but not really for me cause like I said, I lost interest. But I will continue for a bit more cause I told you guys a while ago that I was more ahead in chapters than your are. For example, I just posted chapter 14, if you don't count the author's notes, but I actually already have up to chapter 23 typed.**

**And I just want to say, one of you said you wanted Jael and Joe to get married, and I promise you, they are **_**not**_** going to get married. I'm sorry to say that, but at least I'm not getting your hopes up. I'm not a big fan of marriage so there probably won't be in any of my stories, but that's just a maybe. Who knows if I change my mind, we'll see.**

**And I'm glad to say that fan fiction finally came to their senses and has a Misc. section, because they didn't have one before, so I most likely will be using that now, thanks for telling me muzicoftheheart.**

**Remember, 4 8 15 16 23 42 (lost fan insider).**

**Review please!**


	17. Last Day of Tour

Later that night, I told Demi, Cody, and Marissa that Joe and I talked. We then decided we wanted to do something fun tomorrow since it was the last day of tour. Demi said during her show, she would dress up as Big Rob, and then we all agreed that we would get everybody and get a bunch of cans of party spray and run on stage while the guys were singing and spray everybody.

Now, everybody minus Jess and Lisa, were sitting together in the hotel. We were talking about random things, waiting for our buses to get here so we could get back on the road to LA, for our last show.

"So, tomorrow's the last day of tour." I said and Kevin chuckled.

"I love the way you say tour."

"Because of my accent?"

"Yea. It's like, two-err instead of tour."

"Alright, let me restate that. So, tomorrow's the last day of _tour._" I said 'regularly' and they all laughed. "We're staying in LA, right?"

"Yea." Joe replied. "Demi needs to work on her show and we need to work on ours."

"And we," Evan said. "Need to work on our album and you need to work on your movie."

"Ahh! So much is going on! But I'm so excited for the movie." I said and smiled as I leaned onto Joe's chest.

"Do you know who's gonna be in it?" Demi asked.

"No. Nick Cassavetes, the director, said he would call me in a couple days to tell me more, so I'm still waiting. But I don't even know where the movie is taking place so technically, you guys will be staying in LA and I guess me and the guys wont? So we can work on our album or something."

"Oh yea, Miley, Meaghan, Justin, and everybody are coming to the show tomorrow since it's our last one." Kevin said.

"Okay." I looked at Demi, Marissa, and Cody giving them a look telling them that we have to get them into our prank too. Including Jess and Lisa. Brad called a few people that worked with the tour to make sure there were bottles of Party Spray by tomorrow without anyone knowing.

About a half hour later, the buses came. I was kind of tired and wanted a good night of sleep, so after I got out of the bathroom and changed, I went to the living room to tell everyone goodnight.

"Guys, I'm pooped. I'll see you in the morning."

"Kay. Goodnight sweet cheeks!" Matt said and I laughed.

"Your roots are showing!" Jesse yelled as I walked to my bunk.

"Kiss my ass, Jesse! So are yours!" I heard him gasp really loud and I laughed. A couple minutes later, after I was already in my bunk, Joe came. He climbed up and lay down beside me. I cuddled into his chest and gave him a kiss, then closed my eyes and fell asleep.

The next day, I woke up to Joe shaking me.

"Hmm?"

"Wake up. It's the last day of tour." I scratched my eyes then opened them. "Good morning."

"Morning." I mumbled. I turned over into his chest and sighed. He kissed the top of my head. "What time is it?"

"Nine thirty. We have to get to sound check and Popstar wants an interview from everybody individually. And these two girls named Katie and Karleigh want to interview you, me and the guys, and Demi as well."

"Is everyone ready?"

"In the process. Except you."

"I'm in the process of waking up." He laughed and I covered my ears. "You laugh too loud."

"Uh-oh. How much did you have to drink last night?" He jokingly asked.

"Like, five….ty two." He laughed again and I couldn't help but laugh too.

"Well, make sure you wear sunglasses during the interview."

I went to take a shower. I changed into ripped skinny jeans and a Nirvana t-shirt with a random blue beanie. I put my black doc marten boots on, then did my hair and make up. I grabbed my bag that had all my things in it, put it around my shoulders, and went to the living room to see everyone ready.

Demi was on the bus too. She gave me a hug when she saw me.

"Dude, I love your outfit." I laughed.

"Thank you. I like yours too." She was wearing black skinny jeans and a Jeff Buckley t-shirt. "I'm stealing that shirt, by the way."

On our way to soundcheck, I got on my twitter to change my status.

_LAST DAY OF THE TOUR! I hope you all enjoyed this tour and hopefully, I'll see you soon. Love you guys so much!_

When we got to soundcheck, I walked into my dressing room and saw Meaghan, Miley, Justin, Caity, Kiwi, and three other people I didn't recognize. Meaghan screamed and ran to give me a hug. I laughed and hugged her back.

"Megs! I missed you!"  
"I missed you too!"

"Shit, my eyes are watering!" I said and everyone laughed. "Miley!" She gave me a hug next.

"I missed you so much, Jael!"

"I missed you too! Justin, you sexy beast, come over here!" Everyone laughed. I gave Kiwi and Caity a hug too.

"Jael, this is Brandi, my older sister. Mandy, one of my best friends, and her brother, Garret. He's friends with Justin."

"It's nice to meet all you guys." A few seconds later, Demi walked in and everyone gave her a hug.

"Good news. The party spray came and there's like, a million of them. So when we go out on stage, everyone take two." Demi said. "We'll go out a few songs after This Is Me."

While The Veronicas were doing their soundcheck, Popstar came and began interviewing Demi. When The Veronicas finished, Demi went up and then Connect 3 was being interviewed. Then when Connect 3 went up, it was my turn for the interview.

"Hi, I'm Lauren." The interviewer said before she turned on the camera.

"Jael." I said and shook her hand.

"When I turn the camera on, just introduce yourself and say you're watching Popstar." I nodded. She gave me the cue when the camera was recording.

"Hey guys, I'm Jael Peirce and you're watching Popstar."

"How has tour gone for you so far?"

"Tour is amazing. It's so exciting and I can't wait to go on my own."

"Favourite part of it?"

"Umm, I can't say I have a favourite. A lot of crazy things happened during this tour but I think one of the best was on the first day, me and my band went to Bluesfest and we met one of our favourite bands, called Three Days Grace. We've been fans of them for a few years now and meeting them was unbelievable."

"How is it adjusting to being a celebrity now?"

"It's uhh, it's pretty crazy. I mean, my life has changed so much since before I went to Camp Rock and it's all pretty crazy."

"Anything you hate about being famous?"

"Not so much hate, but I think everyone can agree that the paparazzi can get a little out of control. If they just relax and aren't as hectic, then maybe it wouldn't be as bad."

"If you could, would you choose to not be famous?"

"You see, I don't really see anybody as a 'celebrity' or whatever. Your job is an actor or a singer or if you do all of them, then you're an artist. I've always wanted to play small shows. You know, relaxing ones at bars and clubs, or anywhere. I mean, the only reason I'm as famous as I am now is because of the tour and since I'm going out with Joe. Other than that, I'm honestly not really that good at anything."

"During your show last night, you said you auditioned for a movie and got the part?"

"Yes!" I smiled. "The script is amazing and I fell in love with it immediately. Umm, I'm not gonna say anything because I haven't even met the cast or anything and I don't want to get in trouble, but if it's as good as I imagine it to be, then a lot of people will love it."

"Is Joe and everyone else okay with you doing things outside of Disney?"

"Yea, totally. I'm sure one day they'll get out of it too, so it's not really a big deal."

"You said your music on your album would be in the rock genre. What if your friends don't like it?"

"I've told them already that it would be okay if they didn't like my music and they told me the same thing, so it's all good."

"Have you seen any crazy signs while singing on stage?"

"Yes! The fans are crazy! I don't even remember a lot of them but they were pretty threatening, especially the ones about me and Joe."

"Yea? Like what?"

"There was one, it said, 'Jael Go Die, Joe Is Mine!' As you can see, they got the whole rhyming thing going on." We both laughed. "Umm, another one was, 'Joe, I'll Kill To Be With You' And uhh, yea, those are pretty much the ones I remember. Pretty life threatening but you know, whatever."

"How do you feel about the obsessed fanatics?"

"Umm, they're…pretty obsessed." I laughed. "I have nothing against them but honestly, we're just people. No need to scream and go crazy. You don't start screaming and chasing after some hot guy that's walking down the street, that's just wrong. You can go to jail for it."

"Any crazy rumors you've heard about yourself?"

"Not yet. I don't really read gossip sites or anything so I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it'll happen soon."

"How do you feel about the whole 'Jemi' thing?"

"I think fans have a right to want someone to go out with someone else. People write stories with Joe and Demi as a couple and I really can't do anything about that. Joe and Demi are my bestfriends and I love them both very much. Joe and I are currently going out and we're very happy. I don't know what's going to happen in the future, but whatever is, hopefully it'll be good for everybody."

"Okay, and, do you have any websites or something fans can visit?"

"I have a twitter. Its twitter dot com slash Jael Pierce. I don't have any myspace or facebook or anything else so if there is one of me, I promise you, it's not me. I'm pretty sure a myspace will be made once our album or some songs come out but we'll see."

"I see you're a Nirvana fan." She said, referring to my shirt. "My next question was what type of music so you listen to?"

"Yea, I grew up listening to 90's grunge and some classical stuff because my mom was into that, but now, I have really weird transitions. Like, I'll go from Alice In Chains and Nirvana to The Runaways and The Beatles, then I'll listen to Eminem and then I'll go to John Mayer. I don't know. I'm really weird."

"Is there any you don't like?"

"Country. Yea, I never really got into that and I'm still not. No offense to all the Country fans out there but I'm not really into people singing about tractors." Lauren laughed. She asked me a couple more questions then told me to sign off. "Hey everyone, it's Jael Pierce, and you just watched Popstar." I shook Lauren's hand and said goodbye, then went back on stage where everyone else was. Justin and Garret were playing the guitar and I just grabbed the mic and started singing random things.

"Jael!" I heard Caity yell. I turned around and saw her recording me. "Tell everyone what's going on."

"Hey everybody. Umm, we are currently at sound check. I just finished my interview with Popstar so when that comes out, go watch it. And today is the last day of tour! Very sad but also very exciting. I had so much fun during these past couple months and I can't wait to go on my own tour. The guys and I will be working on our CD a lot for these next few…however long it takes us. And I'll be working on my movie also. I'm actually really busy but it'll be fun, so I don't mind."

"Are you gonna call Adam to help you with your album?" She asked me.

"I don't know. Ooh, should I? That would be kind of weird. Maybe I should just wait till he calls me."

"He did give you his number for that particular reason, though."

"I know. But like, what if he's in Canada or something. I can't fly to Canada. I mean, I would, but I can't cause of the movie. Hopefully he'll watch this video and call me on his own."

"Hopefully. So, anything new going on besides the end of tour, your album, and the movie?"

"Uhh, I just met Brandi, Miley's sister, Mandy, one of her friends, and Garret, Mandy's older brother and they're pretty awesome. Very hilarious and I enjoy their company. They're over there, jamming to some tunes they made up." Caity focused the camera on them, then back on me. "Anyways, I hope I see you guys tonight. Enjoy the last day, and I'm not saying anything, but maybe there will be a surprise during the show. So try to come. Love you guys, bye."

"Jael, can you sing us some of your stuff?" Kiwi asked.

"Sure. Hand me a guitar." He gave me one and I took a seat where everyone else was. "Umm, I don't know what to sing."

"Do you have any idea what songs are gonna be on your album?" Justin asked.

"A few but I don't know. Ehh, what the hell." As I began singing the song, Matt grabbed his mini drums and started a beat for it.

_Sometimes I'm a selfish fake  
You're always a true friend  
And I don't deserve you  
'Cause I'm not there for you  
Please forgive me again_

I wanna be there for you  
someone you can come to  
runs deeper than my bones  
I wanna be there for you  
I wanna be there for you

Swirling shades of blue  
Slow dancing in your eyes  
The sun kisses the earth  
And I hush my urge to cry

I wanna be there for you  
someone you can come to  
runs deeper than my bones  
I wanna be there for you  
I wanna be there for you

'cause I hear the whispered words  
In your masterpiece beautiful  
You speak the unspeakable through  
I love you too

I wanna be there for you  
And be someone you can come to

I wanna be there for you  
And be someone you can come to  
The love runs deeper than my bones  
I wanna be there for you

"That was so good." Mandy said and I smiled.

"Seriously! I'm excited for your album to come out." Brandi said next. I waited for Garret to say something.

"I hated it."

"Yea, we don't approve." Justin agreed. "Cause that song WASN'T about us! Pfft!" Everyone laughed.

"Alright, how about I write a song for the two of you."

"Okay." Garret said. "But we have to like it!"

"Promise."

"Pinky promise?" I stuck my pinky out and everyone laughed as he hooked his with mine.

Later on, we were all sitting in the dressing room when there was a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I yelled and Paul opened the door.

"Joe, Nick, Kevin, Demi, and Jael, Katie and Karleigh are here for their interview with you guys." We all stood up and told everyone we would be back later. We went to another room that had couches and stuff in it. When we walked in, Katie and Karleigh stood up from the couches and gave us hugs. The cameraman was recording us the second we walked in.

"How are you guys?" Katie asked.

"We're good. How about you guys?" Joe asked.

"We're good. We're really excited to be here."

"Yea, so are we." I said and we all laughed.

"So, how was tour for you guys?" Karleigh asked.

"It was a lot of fun." Kevin said. "Especially since we were doing it with our closest friends and stuff, I couldn't ask for a better time."

"I agree. I mean, this is my first tour and it was a lot of fun. There was a few times where Nick would just annoy the crap out of me!" I said and everyone laughed. "And him snoring all the time, waking the whole bus up. No, I'm just kidding. It was a lot of fun and like Kevin said, I couldn't ask for a better time."

"I was actually just about to ask how you all got along." Katie said.

"Oh God, don't even get me started!" Demi said and everyone laughed. "No, umm, we're all really close. I'm with some of my closest friends for two whole months, who wouldn't want that?"

"Jael, everything started out for you when you went to Camp Rock, right?"

"Yes."

"How was it over there? And how did you meet everyone?"

"It was amazing. My first friend was Caitlyn Gellar. She's the one who showed me around the place and introduced me to Kiwi, Roshon and J-man, and pretty much everybody. And for Joe, of course as we all know, he was a diva for a bit," I said as I looked at him and gave him a smile while everyone laughed. "And I ran into him a few times, we talked a little here and there, he stopped being a, insert word here," Everyone laughed again. "And then we became pretty close, along with Caity and Kiwi. Then there was one of the Jams called Beach Jam where Nick and Kevin came to perform for everyone and Joe introduced me to them there. And I didn't meet anyone else till after Camp Rock."

"Cool. And, what's going on with the rumors about Tess Tyler, or now known as Meaghan Martin, being a biatch and stuff?"

"Well, at Camp Rock, she was sort of a diva as well, but then on Final Jam, her, Caity, and I talked and she changed and she's one of my closest friends now."

"Okay," Katie began. "Now it's time for random questions. We can just go in the order you guys are in, starting with Kevin. What is something know one knows about you?"

"Umm, I don't know. I think the fans already know everything about us. They probably know this too, but my bed has to be made before I get into it, no exceptions."

"For me," Nick said. "I'm sort of a neat freak sometimes. I have my days where I'm just like, whatever, but I'm clean all the time."

"Demi?"

"Umm, I love metal music. I have for a while and I think it's just so much fun to listen to."

"And for me," I said. "Umm, I'm naturally a red head."

"You are?" Demi, Joe, Nick, and Kevin asked at the same time and Katie, Karleigh and I laughed.

"Yea. I am Irish, after all."

"Right." Demi said. "I knew that." We all laughed.

"And umm, I don't know if this is true or not, but apparently you're gonna be in a movie?"

"Yes, I am." I said and smiled.

"Can you tell us anything about it?"

"No." I said straight out and everyone laughed again. "I mean, I would, but I never even met the cast yet or anything. I don't know anything at all about the movie except obviously, the summary and whom I'm playing. I don't even want to give out the title of it because who knows if it'll change or not. It probably won't since it's based off a book, but we'll see."

"Do you know when you're gonna hear more about it?"

"I'm thinking tomorrow. I'm not really sure though but we have to start filming soon anyways so I'm pretty sure I'll be getting a call by tomorrow."

"Is there anything else that you can tell us that you're working on?" Karleigh asked.

"Yes. I am working on my album with my band. Umm, we don't really know anything yet. Of course, I'm writing music all the time but we don't know anything about the album name or the tour that I'm sure will be happening soon after I'm done filming my movie. But we are thinking of a band name for us, so hopefully we'll figure that out soon."  
"What genre music will it be?" Katie asked.

"Umm, I can't really explain it. It'll be in the rock/metal genre. I don't even know what songs are gonna be on the album."

"What made you want to pick that type of genre?"

"I grew up listening to like, 90's grunge and a lot of rock type bands so that's what I'm inspired by. I listen to all types of music, but this is the type that I'm comfortable with singing."

"Do you guys support her in her music and acting career?" Karleigh asked.

"Of course." Joe said. "We were with her from the beginning and we're still with her now. We're very excited to hear what she has in store for her soon to be fans and us. And we will support her with the movies she decides to do as well."

"And, this is a really random question, but if any of you guys could be anyone in the world, who would you be and why?" Katie asked.

"That's a tough one." Kevin said. "I don't know. Can I pass?" Everyone laughed.

"Sure." He jokingly sighed in relief.

"Umm," Nick said.

"James Bond." I said and everyone laughed again.

"Sure. I'll just go with that."

"That's a really trick question. I'm gonna go with…Johnny Depp." Joe said.

"Why?" Karleigh asked.

"I think he's a very amazing actor and very talented. And almost everybody loves him, so why not?"

"He's hot too." I jumped in and we laughed.

"Jael?"

"Oh gosh, Angelina Jolie. Do I need to explain anymore? She is just completely amazing and I couldn't…yea. But seriously, if I could be a guy, I would be Johnny Depp. Just saying." I said really quick and everyone laughed again.

"Alright. I guess we're done. Thank you guys for sitting down with us. We had a great time."

"Us too." Nick said.

"It was very nice meeting you Jael, and seeing all of you for the second time. Hopefully we'll interview you guys soon." They both stuck each of their thumbs up.

"It was nice meeting you too." I said. "Enjoy the show tonight."

"We will." Karleigh said. "Yippy Skippy!" They said in unison.

"What?" I asked and they both laughed.

"This is what we do when we sign off from our videos."

"Oh okay. Yippy Skippy!" I said and the camera turned off.

We all gave the two girls a hug, then went back to the room where everyone else was. The Veronicas already went up so we were waiting for them to come off so Demi could go next.

"So," Garret began. "What'd you say about me?" I laughed.

"I said everything about you, Garret. I mean, you ARE the world to me. Even though I just met you a couple hours ago."

"Jael, I _love_ you!" Everyone laughed.

"I love you too, Garret. I love you too."

When it was my turn to go on, I grabbed the mic and got on the riser, up stage. When it had risen all the way, I smiled at the crowd.

"You guys ready to have the best night of your lives?" Everyone screamed extra loud and I began singing. When I was done, I smiled again at the crowd. "Make sure you guys are prepared for the rest of the show, okay? It's gonna get pretty crazy." I knew the guys were confused, but I just ran backstage. Everyone else was already there. I gave the stage guy my mic and he turned it off. I then grabbed two bottles of party spray like everyone else, and a few songs later, we all ran out spraying everyone. The crowd went crazy and it was just insane.

I went to Joe and sprayed it all over him while he was singing, then I went to Kevin and sprayed him a crown on his head. Miley, Jess, Demi, and I ran off the stage to where the audience was and they got even crazier. We sprayed them and they all went wild. Demi and I went to Garbo and John and sprayed them. Both of my cans finished so I ran backstage and got one more. I went to the edge of the stage and sprayed the security guards. Joe walked up to me and I began singing the song with him. I turned to him and sprayed the party spray all over his face and his mic. He snatched the can on me and sprayed my face and I screamed as I ran to the others. They were laughing.

Eventually, all the cans finished so we just ran backstage and laughed. We stayed back there till the guys were done because Demi, Jess, Lisa, my band and I have to go back out to enjoy our last day of the tour with our fans.

"Okay guys," We heard Joe say. "Today is the last day of tour and it is probably the best day of the whole thing for me. We will sing one more song for you guys." They sang their last song and the crowd got even louder. "I hope you guys had an amazing time because I know I did."

"So did we." Kevin said for him and Nick.

"Now, we're gonna call out Jessica and Lisa Origliasso from The Veronicas." They ran out onto the stage. "Demi Lovato!" She ran out too and the crowd screamed louder than I've ever heard before. "And Jael Peirce, Evan Taubenfeld, Matt Brann, and Jesse Colburn!" The four of us ran out and we all joined hands and bowed.

"Thank you guys so much for coming out here! We love you all so much and we hope to see you next time!" Nick said.

"Thank you!" Demi said and we all ran backstage with a camera following us.

We went down to our dressing rooms to celebrate. The camera's stopped following us about a half hour ago. Miley, Justin, Garret, Mandy, Cody, and Brandi went back down before so we met them there.

After a couple hours, Jess, Lisa, Garret, Mandy, Justin, Miley, Brandi, Meaghan, Caity, Kiwi, and Cody left in the cars they came in. We all got on our appropriate buses and relaxed in the living room.

"I can't believe the tour is over." I said.

"You do realize you have a lot to come, right?" Brad said.

"Yea. But I think it'll be fun. I'm looking forward to acting more and going on my own tour and stuff."

"You guys figure out a band name yet?"

"No." I sighed. "Unless they did and didn't tell me?"

"We've had a few ideas but nothing that'll work for us." I turned over so that my legs were where my back should be and my head was hanging off the couch.

"Well, we need something that'll make sense to our music."

"Obviously." Nick said.

"You know what Nick, I don't think I like your attitude!"

"Yea, well, I don't like the fact that you point out the obvious all the time!"

"Just…shut up!" I stuck my tongue out at him and he fake gasped.

"How dare you do such a preposterous thingeth? Off with her head!" Everyone laughed.

"I would get up and hit you but I'm too lazy."

"I don't understand how you guys could live with her for 3 years in middle school."

"Ugh. You should see her when she's PMSing." Matt said and everyone laughed even harder.

"I'm not that bad when I'm PMSing, okay?"

"Pshh, that's what you think." Jesse muttered and I glared at him.

"Get prepared, Joe. That's all I'm saying." I grabbed a pillow and threw it at Matt. He caught it before it hit him.

"Asshole."

We finally made it back to our place. When we walked in, I sighed.

"Home sweet home."

"Speaking of home sweet home," Evan said. "When are you guys moving?"

"My dad actually found a place for us. In a couple days, him, my mom, and I will go to look at it and if we like it, we can have it."

"So, we might as well not un-pack, right?"

"Right. We should actually start packing."

"And is Garbo and John still gonna be with us? No offense guys." I said.

"They're welcome to if they want."

"Thank man, but we're big boys. We found our own place to settle in." Garbo said and we laughed.

"What about you guys? Where are you going?" Joe asked my band.

"We're looking for an apartment. We're thinking of getting one in or close to the one that Caity and Kiwi are in. But we'll see." Evan said and we nodded.

"Speaking of Caity," I brought up. "Matt." He had a weird look on his face.

"Yes?" He looked around, noticeably and began fidgeting with his hands.

"Matthew!"

"What?"

"Don't make me get up and slap you. What's going on between the two of you?"

"Nothing, yet. I asked her out and we plan on making it serious while we're here in LA."

"Okay. Well, I'm gonna go change into some sweats, I'll be right back." I got up and went to my room and changed in sweats, a t-shirt, and Joe's leather jacket that he gave me. I went to the bathroom and took my make up off and pulled my hair into a ponytail. I grabbed my glasses and phone then went back in the living room. Everyone else had changed too.

I sat next to Joe and rested my head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around mine. I began thinking of a band name while everyone was talking and then it just hit me.

"Guys," I said. "What about Flyleaf? For our band name."

"What's a flyleaf?" Nick asked.

"It's the dedication page in the beginning or end of a book. We dedicate our songs to people or situations, so it's perfect, right?" They thought about it and nodded.

"Yea, that's actually really good." Evan said. "Who knew you had it in you, Jael." I threw a pillow at him and he laughed. My phone started ringing. I looked at the caller I.D. and it said Adam. I screamed then covered my mouth really quick.

"It's Adam!"

"Answer it!" Jesse said and I pushed the talk button.

"Hello?" I was trying to hold in my smile but I couldn't.

"_Jael, it's Adam. How are you?"_

"I'm good. We just got home from the tour and we're just chillin in the living room."

"_So, just to answer your questions, I'm not in Canada at the moment."_ He said, talking about what I said in the video. _"And I'm glad to help you any time you call for your album."_

"Okay. Well, I don't really know what's happening right now cause I'm actually gonna be shooting a movie soon and I don't really know where that's gonna take place."

"_Well, wherever it is, my wife and I can fly there and stay at a hotel till you're done working on the album."_

"Are you serious?"

"_Yea, I am. Just give me a call when you know more details and we'll try to work things out."_

"Okay. Thank you so much. I'll talk to you later."

"_Alright. Bye."_ I was so star struck at the moment; I couldn't even hang up the phone. Joe took it out of my hands and did it for me.

"Oh my god!"

"What'd he say?" Matt asked.

"He said him and his wife could fly down to wherever I'm shooting the movie, just so he can help me on the album. How crazy is that!"

"We hardly even know him, why's he being so nice?" Evan asked.

"I don't know but don't jinx it." My phone rang again. I looked at the Caller I.D. and it said Nick Cassavetes. "It's Nick!"

"What?" Nick said.

"Not you! My director!"

"Answer it!" Jesse said like before and I laughed.

"Hello?"

"_Jael, It's Nick. Congratulations on the tour."_

"Thank you."

"_Are you busy tomorrow?"_

"No but I have a feeling I'm about to be." He laughed.

"_Can we meet somewhere so I can talk to you about the movie."_

"Of course. Should Brad come?"

"_Yea. Let's say, eleven-ish at Starbucks. Good?"_

"Perfect. I'll see you tomorrow." I hung up the phone. "Don't say anything!" I said before anyone could ask what happened and called Brad.

"Bradley." I said with a deep British voice and put him on speaker. He knew it was me so he just laughed.

"_Yes, father?"_

"Nick Cassavetes called me and wants you and me to meet him at Starbucks around eleven so we can talk more about the movie." I said in my regular voice.

"_Okay. How about I come by your place and we can leave together."_

"Sounds good. See you tomorrow."

"_Bye."_

"I'm just gonna wait for someone else to call." I said and everyone laughed. And of course, a couple minutes later, my phone rang. Again. "It's Jac."

"Answer it!" Jesse yelled again and we all laughed.

"Hey, Jac."

"_Hey Jael. I just saw the video you posted on youtube. Congrats on the tour!"_

"Thanks. What's up?"

"_I know you're gonna have to film your movie soon, but I wanted you to hang out with me and a couple friends before that. Is that okay?"_

"Dude, totally. Tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be going to Starbucks to meet with my movie director so we can talk about the film, so I'll call you afterwards and tell you when we can hang out."

"_Awesome. I can't wait. Bye."_

"Bye." I hung up and rested my head back on Joe's shoulder. "Once the album is done, and the movie is done, and the tour is done, I can relax!" Joe, Nick, and Kevin laughed.

"Unless you plan on doing other movies or shows." Kevin said.

"And there's always going to be interviews and promotions." Nick said.

"Basically, you'll never not be busy." Joe said and I groaned.

"Great."

"You'll get used to it, though. It's actually pretty fun. It may seem like a lot of work, but doing the movie will be a lot of fun since you get to meet new people and hang out at a really nice place, I'm sure. And then there's the tour where you have amazing fans and you'll just enjoy being on stage every night. And the album, you get to work with this Adam person, which I'm sure is very exciting for you, and there you go. All is good."

"This Adam person is the lead singer of Three Days Grace!"

"Okay, but you know I don't listen to the same music that you do so I don't know if I know who they are."

"If you listen to the radio, then you've heard them before."

"Okay. Point them out to me next time they come on."

"I will."

We all talked a bit more, but then we decided to go to bed. I slept in Joe's room so there would be space for Even, Jesse, and Matt in the guest section. I laid down beside him and he kissed the top of my head before turning the lamp off on his side table.

**Review please.**


	18. New Friends

The next morning, I woke up at eight thirty to get ready. After I got out of the shower, it looked like a nice day outside so I wore shorts, a long sleeve white shirt with random designs and birds on it, then a light long sleeve plaid shirt. I did my hair and make up, then put my jewelry on. I had my mom's necklace hanging over my shirt and made sure I had all my bracelets and the rings I wanted to wear on. I put on my black Doc Marten shoes then grabbed my bag and put it around my shoulders.

Before I went to the kitchen, I took out my old nose ring and put the hoop one in. I was satisfied with the way it looked and went to the kitchen to see Garbo and John drinking their coffee.

"Morning guys." I said.

"Hey, Jael. Oh, the nose ring looks good." John said and I smiled.

"Thank you." I put bread in the toaster and grabbed a cup and pored some Orange juice, then took one of my vitamins. I took a seat on the other side of the island, opposite of Garbo and John.

"When's Brad getting here?" Garbo asked.

"I don't know." I checked my phone but I had no missed calls or texts. The toaster popped and I jumped. The guys laughed and I glared at them. I put the toast on a paper towel then sat back down in my seat.

The three of us talked bit. I took a bite out of my second toast when Joe woke up. He came over to me and kissed my temple.

"Morning guys. Nice nose, Jael." I scoffed.

"Nice face!"

"Why, thank you." He said with a husky voice and I laughed.

"I still never get my morning kisses!" Garbo said. "That's a big problem, man. I'm gonna have to talk to you about that later." I laughed.

"Alright."

"Brace yourself."

"I will." I heard a knock on the door. I took a quick bite out of my toast, then got up and walked over to the door. When I opened it, I saw Brad.

"Hey Brad." I gave him a hug and let him in.

"Hey," He followed me into the kitchen. "Hey guys." He said.

"Hey, man." Joe did the man hug thing with him and they both took a seat.

"So when are we leaving?"

"Umm," I looked at the time. "It's 10:30 now. How about, 10:45?"

"Sounds good." We all went to the living room. I grabbed my laptop and got on twitter.

_Meeting with the director of my movie in a bit. So excited to do this. I hope everything goes well._

"Brad, come take a picture with me. I don't think the fans have seen you before." He sat beside me and I opened up photo booth. We took a couple pictures and I posted the ones I liked on twitter.

_Bradley! This is my manager, agent, and tour manager, pretty much my everything. Haha, he's wicked. Wish us luck with the director of the movie._

Nick and Kevin woke up a couple minutes later and sat with us. We all talked until it was time for us to go. I told Kevin good luck on finding the house before we left. It took us about fifteen minutes to get to Starbucks. When we got there, thankfully, there weren't any paparazzi. We sat at an empty booth in the back by a window. I took my phone out and texted Nick.

_Hey, you on your way?_

_**Yea. Be there in five.**_

_Should we order you anything?_

_**Black coffee, please.**_

I got an iced tea, Brad got a coffee, and we ordered Nick his coffee as well. By the time everything finished, Nick came. We gave him his drink and took a seat. He pulled out his wallet to pay me back but I handed him back the money.

"I have to pay you back."

"No you don't."

"But you got me the Latte."

"You're letting me be in your movie. I think we're pretty even." He laughed and put the money away.

"Okay. Deal. So, how was the tour?"

"It was amazing. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in two months straight in my entire life."

"Well that's good. So, I apologize for dragging you guys out here without even letting you relax, but we're kind of on a tight schedule. Well, for you, because you have your album to work on and then tour and all of that." I nodded. "So, I brought my special handy dandy notebook to schedule everything."

"I brought mine too." Brad said.

"Okay, so, what's done with your album so far?"

"Uhh, nothing really. I have a bunch of songs and soon, someone is gonna help me with my lyrics a little. I already told him about me doing the movie and he said he could fly out to wherever we are to help me."

"Okay. Well, we're actually filming the movie right here in LA, so he doesn't have to travel far depending on where he is. Umm, so this movie will only take about a month to a month and a half to film. You're allowed to give ideas that you think will be better for the movie or the characters. And of course, when you say your lines, you can improvise." I nodded.

"Like I said, since we're on a tight schedule for you, we want to start filming as soon as possible."

"I don't think it's really a big deal." I said. "I mean, yea, I would like for the album to be out before next year and whenever I don't come to set I can always work on the album. It's really not that…urgent, I guess. Because for me, I'm the type of person who likes to relax and I'm not really in a hurry unless I have to be. So, we can just do the movie on it's regular schedule and if I realize that something has to be changed, then I'll talk to you about it."

"Sounds good."

"Good. When do we start shooting?"

"Umm, I'm thinking a week or two." I nodded.

"Okay. Do I get to know who's gonna be in the film?" He laughed when I gave him a hopeful smile.

"Yes you do. I'll name the main characters. Abigail Breslin will play Anna, your younger sister. Cameron Diaz will play your mother,"

"Oh snap." I interrupted and Brad and Nick laughed. "Sorry, go ahead."

"Jason Patric is your father, Alec Baldwin is your sisters lawyer," A bigger smile grew on my face. "Evan Ellingson is your younger brother, Heather Wahlquist is your aunt," I noticed Brad writing this all down. "And the guy who will play your boyfriend is," He paused for dramatic effect. "Thomas Dekker."

"What?" I couldn't stop smiling. "Shut up!" Brad and Nick bust out laughing and I couldn't stop smiling.

"I'm guessing you're okay with that?"

"Hell yes! When can I meet him…them?" They both laughed again.

"Do you have any plans this week?"

"Not that I know of. I might be meeting up with a few friends tonight or tomorrow night and then with Adam, the guy who's helping me with my songs, but other than that, I'm free!"

"Okay, how about you call me when you know you're free and will be for a few days and then I'll contact everyone else and make sure they're free around the same time." I nodded.

"Okay. And one more question. Whenever I get an interview or if my fans ask, they're gonna want to know about the film. Is there anything I can tell them about it?"

"I would rather you don't tell them anything. Not even the title because we want it to be a surprise. But you can say who will be in the movie but other than that, nothing."

When we were done talking, we decided to leave. Brad dropped me off back at the condo. When I walked in, I saw Nick and Joe in the living room.

"Hey guys." I said. I saw a few packed boxes by the wall, which meant there was probably more in the other rooms. "Where is everybody?"

"Kevin and Paul went to look for a house, Evan, Jesse, and Matt went to look for an apartment, Garbo and John went to move into their place, and Nick and I were actually gonna go meet up with Kevin and Paul." Joe said and I sat beside him.

"Great, you're gonna leave me here all alone!"

"Well, we figured you could call Adam since none of us will be back for a few hours, and you guys could…work on stuff." Nick said. "Ahem." I bust out laughing.

"He's married!"

"And you're taken!" Joe said and I laughed again.

"But no, seriously," I said. "I'll give him a call and try to work something out."

"Anyway," Nick said. "How was it? You're meeting?"

"Damn. You're making me sound all business and stuff." They both laughed. "But uhh, it was good actually. I found out who's gonna play in the movie," A smile grew on my face. "And the dude who's gonna play my boyfriend,"

"OMG! SPILL!" Nick yelled and I laughed.

"Thomas Dekker! AHH!" He screamed with me, which made me laugh even more.

"Who else is gonna be in the movie?" Joe asked.

"Brad wrote down the names of the people, but the one's I remember are, Cameron Diaz as my mom, Alec Baldwin as my sister's lawyer, Abigail Breslin will be my little sister, Evan Ellingson is my little brother, and…besides Thomas Dekker as my boyfriend, that's all I remember. And if I'm not busy this week, I get to meet the cast and we start filming here in LA in a couple weeks."

"Awesome." Joe said. "That's good we won't have to be too far from each other then."

"Yup."

"Did you tell the director you wanted to shave your head?" Nick asked.

"No, not yet. Are you sure you guys are okay with it?"

"A hundred percent. I think it's really awesome that it's your first movie and your willing to do that for it."

"Well, the script is really good and, I don't know. I feel really connected to it. You guys will come to the premier, right?"

"Pfft, totally girlfriend!" Nick said, pretending to be gay but it came out more as a Borat accent, which made Joe and I laugh even harder.

The guys left about a half hour later. I grabbed my phone and called Adam, kind of nervous.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, Adam. It's Jael."

"_Oh, what's up?"_

"Umm, I had a meeting with the director of the movie I'm gonna be on and he said we're doing the movie right here in LA."

"_Okay, cool."_

"Yea, and we're not gonna be shooting till maybe two weeks, but I'm free right now, and if you happen to be in LA-"

"_Tell me your address and I'll be there soon."_ I smiled. I gave him the address and the floor and door number. _"See you soon."_

After I hung up, I couldn't stop smiling. I decided to make a video for the fans. I grabbed my laptop and opened Photo booth.

"Hey guys. So, I just got back from a meeting with Brad and the director of the movie I'm doing, and everything is good. The director's name is Nick Cassavetes, and you may know him from a little movie he directed called The Notebook. I'm so excited to start filming, especially with the people that'll be in it. I do have permission to tell you guys who I'll be working with but I think I'm gonna keep it on the down low for as long as I can."

"Umm, so anyways, we start filming in a couple weeks and I get to meet the cast later this week. But right now, I'm home alone. Everyone is out, pretty much looking for places to move. My band is getting their own place and Garbo and John Taylor are moving out, and the guys and I are getting a house. They're out looking for one right now. Anyways, I'm not gonna give out any more info. But I'm really excited right now because Adam Gontier, the lead singer of Three Days Grace is coming over right now to help me with my songs. Maybe we'll right some together, you never know. But I hope you guys enjoy it when it does come out. I will make sure it does before my tour because I want you all to know what my style of music is before."

"I've said this before and I'll say it again, I'm not trying to be rude, but I don't want the same fans that Connect 3 and Demi Lovato has because I'm trying to steer away from that crowd. I have nothing against Disney or the fans, you guys are amazing, especially during the tour. I love you all but most likely, you won't like the depressed crap that I'll be singing anyway." I laughed. "And yea, I hope you all understand. I already know that there will be haters towards me in my acting and music but I won't let that get to me. No matter what rumors go out there, I don't want any of you to believe it unless I've said it. I'm the type of person who will tell you what's true and what's not because I hate liars. If I lie to any of you, I obviously have a reason."

"Umm, so, this video is getting long enough and you're awesome if you've watched this far. I want you guys to know that it's okay if you don't like my music, honestly it's not a big deal. And I don't want you to force yourself to like my songs. If you like it, awesome, if you don't, then that's good too. It's okay if you like me and hate my songs or vise versa, it honestly will not bother me. And to update you all on myspace and facebook, I don't have one yet and my band doesn't have one yet. We will probably make one after the album is finished and for me making a personal one, I've thought about it but it's still undecided so we'll see."

"Anyways, I'm gonna go now. I'll try to make as many videos as I can, especially while we're filming the movie. And I'll try to squeeze in a question and shout out video too so ask me questions by commenting this video. And if you want any guest appearances, I'll try my best to do that because I'm just that badass." I laughed again. "No, I'm just kidding. I'll see you guys soon. Bye." I ended the video and posted it on youtube.

I quickly went to the bathroom to make sure my make up and hair was fine. Then I grabbed a couple guitars and my notebook that had all my songs in it and set it in the living room. I got on my twitter really quick.

_Posted a new video on my youtube. __**[link to video]**_

I began replying to the people who asked me stuff on twitter until Adam came. About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I smiled and went to open the door.

"Hey," I said and gave him a hug, then let him in.

"Nice place."

"Thanks." He saw the boxes.

"Moving out?"

"Yupp."

"To a bigger place?" I laughed.

"Most likely." He took a seat and I sat beside him.

"Okay, so, I just want to say before we start that there's no reason to be excited or nervous or whatever that I'm here. I mean, I don't blame you, but," I laughed.

"No, I understand."

"Good. And with your lyrics, you're gonna have to tell me what it's about. I know we haven't really gotten to know each other but you can trust me and even if you think I won't understand, I do. If you've actually listened to my songs, then you know that I've been through stuff too." I nodded.

"Okay. Umm," I grabbed my notebook and handed it to him. "My songs are in here."

"Alright." He opened the notebook and started reading. After reading each song, he asked me what it was about. He pretty much knew everything about me by the end and we decided to write a song together.

In the process of writing the song, Adam and I talked a lot and became a lot closer than I thought we would ever be. I cried a lot but we both knew that this was the only way to let go of some of the burden I held in me.

"I just, don't know how to tell him." I told Adam, speaking about Joe. "I know it'll break his heart but I'm really scared and I don't want anything to happen."

"Honestly, and this is just my opinion, but I think you should. I'm pretty sure he won't make the same mistake as before and he will be by your side all the time once you tell him this. He just cares about you and is looking out for you." I nodded.

Finally, when we were done the song, he helped me choose the songs to put on my album. Since it was getting dark, we decided to meet up again another time to do the music for my songs and the song we did together.

"Jael, you are an amazing writer. You've been through a lot of shit in your life that you don't deserve but you've made the best of it. Good luck on everything, alright?"

"Yea, you too." I gave him a hug.

"Make sure you invite me over when you go to the recording studio to record the songs." I smiled.

"I will. Bye, Adam." After he left, I closed the door and sat back on the couch. I sighed and thought about everything that just happened and I couldn't help but smile. I put the guitars and my notebook away, then got on twitter on my laptop.

_My excitement for this album just grew about a million percent._

I called Joe and told him that Adam just left.

"Did you guys find a house yet?"

"_Yea, I think so. We found one we really like and Paul is signing everything right now."_

"Okay."

"_What are you doing right now?"_

"Just talking to you. I was thinking of calling Jac because she wanted to hang out and for me to meet her friends. Plus, I don't know when the next time I'll be free is so I was thinking, why not tonight?"

"_Alright. I guess I'll see you later then. I love you."_

"Love you too. Bye." I called Jac. "Hey Jac,"

"_Jael, what's up?"_

"Umm, I'm free tonight if you want to chill."

"_Tonight's perfect. Are you sure?"_

"Yea, totally."

"_Okay, it'll be me and two of my guy friends and you can bring whoever you want."_

"Okay, where should we meet?"

"_How about you give me your address and I can come get you and then we can decide from there what to do?"_

"Alright. Umm, is this a fancy thing or what?"

"_Umm, just be yourselves. It's not like we're partying with the queen, so nothing crazy, but if you want to wear a dress or skirt or whatever, go ahead." _I laughed.

"Okay. I'll see you in a bit. Call me when you leave."

"_Alright, bye."_

I decided to invite Demi. I called her and told her the plan, and she said she would come over right away.

"_Can I steal some of your clothes when I get there?"_ I laughed.

"Of course. Hurry and get here, okay? I want to tell you something."

"_Alright."_ About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I went to open it and saw Demi.

"Hey," She said and gave me a hug. We went to Joe's room since that's where my clothes were. "So, what were you gonna tell me?" I put my suitcases on the bed and opened them.

"Well," Demi started looking through the clothes. "Brad and I went to our meeting with Nick, the director, and it went really good. I get to meet the cast later this week and we'll start filming here in LA in about two weeks." I told her pretty much everything Brad, Nick, and I talked about. "And then I called Adam Gontier and he came over." She stopped moving and looked over at me.

"Keep talking."

"I told him everything. And he helped me with my songs and then we wrote one together." She found an outfit and went into Joe's closet to change.

"Shut up!" She said and I laughed.

"Yea, and we became pretty close. He said we have to meet up again to do the music for the songs that we chose to put on my album. And he said to invite him over when I go to the recording studio to record the songs."

"You're so lucky." She walked out wearing olive green shorts, a baggy grey shirt with a pink design on it, black suspenders, and boots.

I grabbed a pair of grey skinny jeans, a grey sweatshirt, and the shoes I wore before. I walked out and grabbed my maroon-ish colored beanie. I looked at Demi and she was staring at me, smiling.

"What?" I asked.

"You're so pretty."

"Oh please,"

"It's the truth. You're gorgeous."

"But I think you're prettier than me. I think you're prettier than almost everybody I know and don't know."

"Really?" She nodded. "Remember the day we first met and we were here and Caity and I started laughing and Joe asked what was so funny but we just confused him?"

"Yea."

"We were saying how pretty you are."

"Jael, you're gonna make me cry." I laughed and gave her a hug.

"Come on, I wanna do your make up." I grabbed her hand and took her to the bathroom where all my hair and make up stuff was. "When I was younger, maybe like, twelve or thirteen, it would be so late at night and I couldn't sleep, so I would just go to the bathroom and do my make up." She laughed.

"I swear, I used to do the same thing. I even used to watch those tutorials on youtube." I laughed.

"Hey, I still do!" We both laughed. "I even watched the 'How to cut your own hair' tutorials. I cut my own hair all the time."

"Really?"

"Yea. One time, Cause I always had long hair, I was so desperate for a change, I just went to my bathroom and chopped it all the way up to like, my neck." She laughed.

"Are you serious?"

"Yea, and I loved it. The first time I cut my own hair, I cut it really short. I was in sixth grade and I just chopped it without knowing what I was doing, and then a few months later, I went to the salon because I wanted to get it done professionally just to even everything out, and the lady, she was like, yelling at me because it was all uneven and shit. I'm just like, bitch, I don't tell you how to cut your hair, so you don't tell me how to cut mine!" We both laughed. "No, I'm just kidding, I didn't say that. But I didn't really care. And every time I cut it, it doesn't look all blunt and crappy, plus I save money so if you want me to do your hair for you, I can."

"Dude, that would be amazing if you could."

"And if you don't trust me, I'll cut my own hair in front of you so you can see. Anyways, do you want a lot on your eyes and little on your lips, or vise versa."

"A lot on my eyes."

After I finished her make up, Jac called and said her and her friends were on their way. I told them Demi would be coming too then hung up. I put the make up I did for Demi away and started doing mine.

"Do you think if I died my hair black, it would look good?"

"Yea, totally. I can dye it for you if you want."

"Okay." She smiled.

"But heads up, don't buy the die from CVS or whatever. Go to the salon and buy it from there. It's a little pricey but it's worth it because it doesn't turn your hair into shit."

"Alright. I'll do that then. I still can't believe you're naturally a redhead. Like, I can tell now because the first time I met you, your hair was a lot darker, but when I look at your roots and the rest of your hair, I can see it."

"I'm thinking of keeping it red after I shave my head for the movie. Cause I've been dying my hair this color since in the eighth grade, so now, I'm thinking of going natural."

"You should. It'll look really good." I was done my make up, but I just had to put my mascara on. I looked through my make up case and finally found it, then began putting it on. "How do you not open your mouth when putting that on?" I laughed.

"Lots of practice." She laughed too. "I still do sometimes, though."

We both went back to Joe's room. I grabbed my bag and made sure my notebook, cameras, wallet, glasses, sunglasses, and iPod were in it. Demi took her bag as well and we went to the living room. As we were waiting for Jac, I got on twitter through my phone.

_Gonna hang with Demi and a few other friends in a bit. Gonna meet new people too. Kind of excited[:_

"Jael?" I put my phone down.

"Yea?"

"Can I see your torso?"

"My torso?"

"I know you don't starve yourself, but can I see how thin you actually are?" I nodded and stood up. I lifted my shirt and heard her gasp as she saw my hipbones and ribs sticking out. "It looks like it hurts." I laughed.

"It doesn't. Plus, I've been this way for years." I pulled down my shirt and sat back down on the couch. "It's not that I didn't starve myself. I used to. I just…never gained the weight back. And I really don't care. This is the way I am and I'll probably stay this way for a really long time." She nodded.

About ten minutes later, my phone started ringing. It was Jac saying they were here. We both grabbed our bags. I took my sunglasses out of mine and let it hang on the front of my shirt, from the neckline. I got my keys and locked the door before we went down to the car. We had no idea what car they would be driving but as soon as we got outside, we saw them leaning against it.

"Jac!" I yelled and she turned around.

"Jael!" She ran towards me and gave me a hug.

"This is Demi," I introduced. "Demi, this is Jac."

"Hi." Jac said and gave Demi a hug too. "Come on guys, I want to introduce you to some people." We followed Jac to the car where two, very _attractive_, guys were standing. "Demi, Jael, this is Kris and Dirk, guys, this is Demi and Jael. Dirk and Kris are pretty badass photographers and Demi and Jael, have amazing voices." I laughed.

"You've never even heard me sing before." Demi said and she shrugged. Demi and I laughed again.

"So, where are we going?" Demi asked.

"There's this abandoned building that Kris and I've been to a few times." Dirk said. "It's pretty cool. We can get some food or something then head over there."

"Sweet. If you guys want, I can run back up and grab my guitar."

"That would be awesome." Kris said and everyone else agreed.

"Okay, I'll be back." I gave Demi my bag and quickly ran up to the room and grabbed the guitar that was in the guitar case then went back to the car. I put the guitar in the trunk then got in the backseat between Demi and Kris.

We decided to just go to Starbucks and take our drinks and food to the building. The drive there was hysterical. We blasted the radio and took a bunch of crazy pictures. When we got to starbucks, we ordered the drinks and food we wanted, then went to the abandoned building.

"So what's inside the building?" I asked.

"We don't know. All the doors are locked." Dirk replied.

"Ever thought of going through a window?"

"They're too high."

"I can do it."

We made our way to the building. It was surrounded by trees so it was barely noticeable if you drove by. We took our things out of the car and set it down. I walked around the building and found a window low enough for me to go through. It was too dirty so I couldn't see inside. I grabbed a rock and bashed it through, then through it back on the ground.

"I'm gonna need a lift." I said and Dirk came over. He lifted me up so I could go in, feet first. When I landed, I looked around. "Whoa."

"What do you see?" Demi asked.

"Let me open the front door! Hold on!" I ran to the front door and unlocked it. It was still a little jammed. "Guys, it's jammed. Can someone kick it or something?"

"Stand back!" Dirk said. I moved back and he kicked it open. Jac, Demi, Dirk, and Kris walked in and looked around, amazed.

"It's a theatre." Kris said.

"This is so rad." Jac said. Demi, Kris, and I looked around in the rooms. I opened one door and it was a set of stairs. There was a sign with an arrow that sad 'ROOF'.

"Guys! Here's the stairs to the roof." We grabbed all our things then went up.

"It's so beautiful up here." Demi said. We set everything down. Dirk had his camera around his neck and started taking pictures. We all relaxed and sat down, leaning against the edge of the building. I took my camera out and took a few pictures, then grabbed my guitar.

"What should I play?" I asked.

"Do you know how to play Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails?" Kris asked.

"Yea." I started playing.

_I still recall the taste of your tears.  
Echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears.  
My favorite dreams of you still wash ashore.  
Scraping through my head 'till I don't want to sleep anymore.  
_

As I was singing, Dirk took a few pictures.

_[Chorus]  
You make this all go away.  
You make this all go away.  
I'm down to just one thing.  
And I'm starting to scare myself.  
You make this all go away.  
You make this all go away.  
I just want something.  
I just want something I can never have_

You always were the one to show me how  
Back then I couldn't do the things that I can do now.  
This thing is slowly taking me apart.  
Grey would be the colour if I had a heart.

Come on tell me

[Chorus]

In this place it seems like such a shame.  
Though it all looks different now,  
I know it's still the same  
Everywhere I look you're all I see.  
Just a fading fucking reminder of who I used to be.

Come on tell me

[Chorus]

I just want something I can never have

"Dude, what the hell? I was right, your voice is freakin killer!" Jac yelled and I laughed.

"Thank you."

"Have you worked at all on your album?" I told them what happened when Adam came over. "You're so lucky." I laughed.

"And late this week, I'm gonna meet the cast for my movie."

"Do you know who's gonna be in it?"

"From the ones I remember, Cameron Diaz is gonna play my mom, Abigail Breslin as my little sister, Alec Baldwin will be her lawyer, Evan Ellingson is my little brother, and Jason Patric is my father. Oh, and Thomas Dekker plays my boyfriend." I giggled. "He's _really_ cute." Everyone laughed.

After we were done talking about the movie, Dirk took random pictures of all of us, and our surroundings.

"So, how old are you guys?" I asked.

"I'm twenty three." Dirk said.

"Twenty one." Jac replied.

"Just turned sixteen last month." Kris said.

"Ha, me too." Demi replied.

"I'm turning eighteen in a couple months." I said. "So, are you guys like, real hardcore photographers?" They laughed a little.

"By hardcore, you mean do we shoot famous people and get paid? Then yes." Dirk said.

"I saw you taking pictures earlier." Kris said. "You any good?"

"Ehh, not really."

"Shut up, Jael." Demi said. "She's really good."

"Can I see your camera?" I nodded and handed it to him. Jac, him, and Dirk looked through the pictures and by the looks on their faces, they were impressed. When it got to the ones we took in the car, they laughed.

"These are really good." Dirk said. "A few just need some editing but all pictures do so that's normal." I smiled.

"Thanks."

We all hung out there for a couple more hours. I don't think I've ever had this much fun in my entire life. Pretty much all we did was take pictures, play music, and Dirk and Kris smoked a couple cigarettes. It was a wild night but full of pure…bliss.

It started getting late so we took all our things and left. Dirk, Jac, and Kris dropped us off at my place. Demi and I gave the three of them a hug, then left.

"Demi, since it's pretty late, why don't you just sleep over?" I asked her as we were on the elevator.

"I don't know. I live like, a second away so it's not a big deal." We walked to the door. I took my keys out and opened it to see Joe in the living room, watching TV. When he saw us, he paused the TV and stood up.

"Hey," I said and gave him a hug and kiss.

"Hello. Hey Dems." He gave Demi a hug too. "Did you guys have fun?"

"Yea, it was awesome." Demi said. "I'll go grab my things from the room and I'll be right back." I nodded and she left.

"Who were you hanging out with?"

"Jac and she introduced us to these two other guys named Dirk and Kris. They were really cool."

"Yea? Not as cool as me, though, right?" I laughed.

"Oh no, of course not." He smiled.

"Good." Demi walked back to the living room. She changed back into her regular clothes.

"Alright, I guess Ill see you guys later." She said. Joe and I gave her a hug.

"Drive safely, hun." I said and she smiled.

"I will."

"Text me when you get home, okay?"

"Alright. Jael, I'm still holding you on dying my hair for me." I laughed. "Bye guys." When Demi left, I locked the door and turned back to Joe.

"She wants to die her hair?" I nodded.

"Black. What are you watching?"

"Law & Order: SVU. Join me?"

"Okay. Let me go change first and I'll be right back."

I went to his room, got my pajamas out of the suitcase, went to the bathroom really quick to take my make up off and wash my face, then went back to Joe.

"Is everyone asleep?" I asked him as I sat beside him on the couch.

"Yea. The house we found is really nice. We took some things there today and we're taking more tomorrow."

"Is everything packed?"

"Pretty much. In the morning, I'm gonna do the rest of my room and help you with yours. The kitchen and dining room is finished and so is Garbo and John's things. Evan and the guys found a place and they're going there tomorrow since their things are already packed. The new house is already furnished so we're gonna keep them here so this place can be furnished." I nodded.

"Okay." I sighed. Joe unpaused the show. After a couple episodes, Joe sniffed.

"Why does it smell like cigarettes?"

**Lame ending, but I had to add the Dirk and Kris because they actually are really good photographers and I wanted them to be friends with Jael. I hope you guys liked this chapter. Review please.**


	19. New House

**Only got 2 reviews on the last chapter. I hope you guys can give me more for this one.**

Everyone woke up pretty early the next day. We finished packing everything and started taking things to the new house. When we stopped in front of it, my mouth dropped open. The house was huge. I really should learn by now that wherever we move, the house would be amazingly gorgeous but it was still a shock to me.

When they walked inside, it was so much more beautiful.

"I think I'm gonna get lost in here." I said and they laughed. "I'm serious!" I walked into the kitchen with Jesse and Kevin. "Oh my God! What if this place is haunted?" I said loud enough for the others to here and pretty much everyone in the house laughed. It echoed and I looked around in fear. "Joe!" I screamed and he came over to me. I could tell he was laughing by the look on his face.

"Come on, let me show you the rest of the place." He put his arm around me and we walked into the next room, which was the dining room.

So far, I've seen the whole floor we were just on. The living room, kitchen, dining room, and a couple bathrooms and closets. We went down to the basement. There was a game room, a theater, a band room, and a chill lounge. Next, we went on the third floor. There were three bedrooms, an exercise room, another living room, and a couple bathrooms. We then went to the top floor, which were just two other bedrooms, one bathroom, a linen closet, and a small stairway to get to the attic.

"Dude," I said.

"Duuuuuddddeee," Joe said like a surfer guy and I laughed. "There's more, by the way."

"What?"

"The guesthouse. And the back of the house is like those garages you see at the mall."

"Oh! Of course it is."

We went outside and connected to the house was pretty much another entrance. It was basically the size of a regular house. On the bottom floor as the living room, kitchen, a bathroom, etc. then the top was three bedrooms and a bathroom. "And you know what's good about the whole thing?"

"What?"

"Demi, Selena, and Miley are our neighbors."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yupp."

"Are they walking distance?"

"Miley and Demi are. Selena's is probably a 15 minute walk but a five-minute drive. Miley is closest of them all, though. Hers is like, five minutes walking. And Demi's is maybe ten minute walking. But Selena is in New York filming Wizards so it's pretty much just Miley and Demi."

"After we're done bringing everything, can I go over to their house?"

"Of course. Oh, and there's a pool in the back."

"Awesome. Has everyone chosen their room yet?"

"Kevin did. He chose the master bedroom so that whenever Danielle comes over, they can have a room to themselves. I thought the two on the top floor would be good for us."

"Yea? Can I have the one at the end?" He chuckled.

"Sure."

Eventually, we got everything in the house. Joe and I started in my room. When I opened my closet, of course, it was huge. But not as huge as I thought it would be, thank god.

About two hours later, my room was completely set up. I had set up my bookshelf and put my hair and make up things in my bathroom that was in my room. I was shocked that I had my own bathroom but Joe just laughed when he saw the look on my face from how amazing it was.

Joe and I sighed and sat on the bed. I scooted closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder, with my arm lying across his stomach.

"You okay?" He asked me.

"Yea. Thanks for helping me unpack."

"Anytime. Ready to start my room?"

"Nope. But let's do this." We both stood up and headed to his room. Before we started, he gave me a kiss. I looked around in his room and then started.

We finished his room as well. We went down to the living room to see Nick, Kevin, and my band just hanging out in the living room.

"You guys done unpacking?" Kevin asked.

"Yea. You guys?"

"Yea." Nick replied. Joe and I sat on the couch.

"Did you guys move to your place, yet?" I asked Evan, Jesse, and Matt.

"No, not yet." Matt said. "I guess we should go now to get it over with." The guys stood up. I gave the three of them a hug and they left.

"How far is Meaghan's house from here?" I asked.

"Five/ten minutes. Same as before." I nodded.

I took my phone out to quickly update my twitter.

_Moved, unpacked, relaxed. *sigh*_

"I'm gonna call Demi. I want her to see the place." I dialed her number. "Demi, can you come over to our place? I want you to see how it looks."

_"Of course. I'll walk over. Hey, can my sister, Maddie come? I want you to meet her."_

"Yea, sure."

"_And it'll only be for a few minutes because her and my mom are going somewhere. See you in a bit."_

"Okay, bye." I hung up the phone. "She'll be here in a few minutes with Maddie."

"Oh man. I wish Frankie was here so they could play together." Nick said.

"Well, she said it would only be for a few minutes cause her and her mom are going somewhere."

"Oh okay."

About ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I got up to open it and Demi and Maddie walked in.

"Hey guys!" I gave Demi a hug then crouched down to Maddie's level. "Hey sweetie."

"Hi."

"You're so pretty. How old are you?"

"I'm turning seven in December."

"Really? I'm turning eighteen in December. What day?"

"The twenty eighth."

"Oh, I'm on the first."

"Can I get you something for your birthday?" I laughed.

"Only if I can get you something on yours."

"Deal." I laughed again.

"Awesome." I sat up straight and saw that Demi was smiling. Maddie and Demi gave the guys a hug.

"Guys, this place is amazing." Demi said.

"You want a tour of the place?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Alright. Warning, we might get lost. I was pretty much attached to Joe's hip while he was showing me the place so stay close and try not to speak loud or else the ghosts will get angry." Demi laughed.

"Okay, promise."

"Maddie, you want to come with us?"

"Okay." I held out my hand for her and showed them the house. When we got to the top floor where Joe and my rooms were, we walked into my room and Maddie hopped on my bed and started jumping. Demi and I stayed between the door just watching her.

"Thanks for being so nice to her." Demi said only loud enough for me to hear. "Sometimes I feel bad for her but she handles everything so well. And my fans are even supportive of her too. I made sure my mom let her do homeschooling because I knew she would get bullied."

"Of course. But since she's growing up with such good support, she'll be really strong and mature at a young age." Demi nodded.

"She eats healthy and everything. We even go on bike rides together. It's just that she was born this way and my dad is kinda big too." I nodded.

"It's okay. Once she gets a couple years older, she'll start to be even healthier." The three of us went back downstairs. A couple minutes later, my phone started ringing. I took it out of my pocket as I sat on the couch next to Joe and Demi on my other side. "Hello?"

"_Jael, it's Nick. You busy?"_

"No. What's going on?"

"_We need to do your wardrobe fitting for the movie. You think you can come in today?"_

"Yea, sure."

"_Awesome. It'll only be a couple hours."_

"Okay. What's the address?" He gave it to me and I wrote it down. "All right. I'll be there in a bit." I hung up the phone. "I have to go to this place for my wardrobe fitting for the movie. Nick said it'll only be for a couple hours." I stood up. "Who's driving me?" I asked and everyone laughed.

"You and your license." Nick said.

"Maybe I don't have one."

"Well, maybe you need one."

"Maybe I don't have time."

"Can't you just call them and ask to take the test like, tomorrow?" I shrugged.

"I can always try but I don't have time to. I got to get going. So, who's driving?"

"Maybe my mom can when she comes to get Maddie." Demi said.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yea. My mom's in love with you anyway." I laughed. I invited Demi to come with me and she said okay. About ten minutes later, we heard honking outside.

"Okay, Maddie. Mom's here." Demi and I walked with Maddie to the car. "Mom, can you drop Jael and I off somewhere? She needs to go to her wardrobe fitting for the movie she's gonna be in."

"Sure." Maddie sat in the front and Demi and I sat in the back.

"Hey Dianna."

"Hey Jael. How are you?"

"I'm good, what about you?"

"I'm good."

"The house looks amazing from out here." She said as we started driving. "Maybe one day you can show me around and we can have a barbecue or something."

"Yea, that'll be awesome."

I gave Dianne the address and about fifteen minutes later, we got there. I thanked her for the ride and Demi and I got out. We walked inside the building and I saw Nick in the back. Demi and I walked over to him and he smiled when he saw me.

"Nick, this is Demi, Demi, Nick." I introduced.

"Nice to meet you." Demi said.

"You too. Jael, you ready?"

"Yup. Let's do this."

I went into the dressing room and put my first outfit on. I walked out, pretending I was on the runway and Demi and Nick, plus the clothes designers laughed.

"How does it fit?" The lady asked.

"Good."

"Put your hands up." I raised them and she nodded so I could put them back down. "Next." I went back in the dressing room, and did the same thing for the next couple outfits. So far, they all fit. Now, for the outfit I was about to try on, I had to wear boots for it. I walked out, without the boots on but with them in my hands.

"Problem." I said. "I can't walk in heals. Never could."

"Put them on and we'll try to help you." Nick said and I did as I was told. I stood up, being a little unbalanced but then I managed myself not to fall. "Slow steps." Demi stood up and stood in front of me, making sure I didn't fall. I took baby steps and since I was wearing boots, and the heels were kind of thick, it was easier to walk in.

"Good job, Jael." Demi said and laughed.

Eventually, I was able to walk in them. I couldn't stop smiling cause I didn't think I would ever be able to do this.

"I got it!" I yelled and everyone laughed. The next outfit was a short yellow dress. "Hey, is this the dress I wear when Abigail tells me I look like a banana?" Nick laughed.

"Yes, it is."

"There's one more outfit you need to try." The lady said. "It's a dress for the dance scene and I got the smallest size I could find, but I'm not sure it'll fit so I'm gonna have to fix it up." I nodded and changed into it. I had to wear a different pair of heals for this but the heal was a lot skinnier.

"Uh-oh." I said. "Danger. Danger."

"Okay, we don't want you to ruin the dress." Nick said. "So we'll have you take them off and you can practice another time." I sighed.

"Okay." I took them off and the lady led me to this stand thing. I stood up on it and she brought her supplies with her. "Try not to prick me please."

"Alright."

About twenty minutes later, she finished. She did in fact prick me a couple times but I barely felt anything. I went back in the dressing room, making sure I didn't mess up anything on the dress as I took it off, and changed back to my regular clothes. When I was done, I gave the lady back the dress and Nick led me to another room. There was a lot of make up all over the desks and a guy and a lady standing there.

"Hi," I said and shook both of their hands, then took a seat. Demi and Nick sat down in two other empty seats but on the other side of the room.

"Okay, so, my name is Brian." The guy said. "And I am your hairstylist. And this is Audrey. She is your make up designer and clothes stylist. So what's gonna happen is, since you're gonna be wearing various types of wigs, I'm gonna put a bald cap on you so we can try them on and you'll be able to see how you look with no hair."

"Actually, umm, I decided I wanted to shave my head for this movie." I said.

"Really?" Nick said. "You sure?"

"Yea. But on one condition," They waited for me to continue. "I want it made into a wig and to donate it to a hospital for cancer patients." I saw Demi and Nick smile.

"Okay. You got it."

Brian wet my hair, then gelled it back into a really tight, small bun. I don't know how he did it since my hair is really long, but it worked. He placed the cap on my head and let it sit there for it to dry, then Audrey handed him some powder and he placed it all over my head so it could blend in with me skin color.

"You see how you look?" Brian asked and I nodded. "You still want to shave your head?" I looked at myself in the mirror and nodded.

"Yea."

"Do you plan on shaving your eyebrows too?" Brian asked as he grabbed the first wig. It was a short, bob-ish cut with front wispy bangs.

"Yea. Hopefully they'll grow back fast, though." Brian put the wig on, making sure it looked right.

"Does it feel good?" He asked and I nodded. "It's not loose or anything?"

"Nope."

"Okay, stand up." I stood up. "And pretend you're at a metal concert and start head banging." I laughed and did what he said. The wig shifted just a little bit but he said it was fine. I tried on about two more other wigs and they were both fine as well.

"Alright. There's a scene where you're in the process of chemo, and your hair is falling out. What we're gonna do is just shave some sections one bit at a time as if it's slowly falling out." I nodded, understanding. "And now, I will take your wig and cap off, but we'll keep your hair gelled back till Audrey is done with the make up testing, then I'll wash it all out and re-do it for you." I nodded.

"Okay."

Just like Brian said, he took the cap and the wig off, and Audrey started trying the make up.

"Do you have sensitive skin?" She asked me.

"No."

"Alright, that makes things a lot easier. I'm not gonna do the make up all over your face, just on your cheek so I can see if it looks good or not."

"Okay."

After she was done with the face make up, she did something to my lips, which I couldn't see because I was turned away from the mirror, then she did some things to my eyes. When she was done, she wiped it all off and let Brian do my hair. I told him he could just straighten it, and he did. When he was done, I stood up and stretched.

"So, are we all done?" I asked.

"Yea." Nick said. "Thanks for coming on such short notice. I contacted everybody and since we're gonna start filming on Wednesday next week, we all decided we would just meet on set."

"Alright, cool. When do I get my head shaved?"

"Like Brian said, we're gonna start shaving it a bit at a time for the scene where you're getting chemo, and we promise, it will be made into a wig and we'll make sure you see it before it's donated. And sometime on Sunday or Monday, I'll give you a call with the address and time you should come to set." I smiled.

"Okay."

"And one more thing." Nick said and went somewhere then came back with two books in his hand. He handed one to me and one to Demi. It was the My Sister's Keeper novel. "I figured you might want to read it so I sneaked a few copies."

"Thank you." Demi and I gave him a hug. I gave everyone else a hug too. "I had a lot of fun. See you guys next week."

"Bye." Demi said and we both went outside. I called Joe to come get us and instead of waiting; we walked to the Border's across the street.

It had two floors so Demi and I went to the top that had a bunch of books that we'd like. We grabbed a bunch then sat at an empty table and started looking through them. A few people came and asked for pictures with both of us and we gladly did it. I was even surprised they asked me but it was sweet.

"I want to do a video." I said.

"Do you have your camera?" Demi asked.

"Yea, hold on." I pulled my camera out of my bag then turned it on. I scooted closer to Demi and started recording. "Hey guys, its Jael."

"And Demi."

"And we're currently at Border's, waiting for Joe to come pick us up. I just finished my wardrobe slash make up slash hair stuff check for the movie and the director, Nick Cassavetes said we start shooting on Wednesday so I'm really excited."

"Me too." Demi said. "I'm gonna come visit you on set whenever I'm taking a break while recording my show." I laughed.

"Okay. So, I'll try to record stuff on set if I'm allowed and I think I said this before, I'm gonna do another questions and answer video, maybe tomorrow, so send in your questions in the video I said it in. I'll look through some of the videos just in case but it'll be a lot easier if it was just under one."

"And maybe," Demi said. "I'll pop up in there some time and give a shout out to you guys so make sure you come say hi."

"Yea, you never know." I said. "And maybe I'll bring all or some members of Connect 3, possibly my band, and maybe, just maybe, I will tell you guys the name my band and I came up with for us." Demi laughed.

"And maybe! I see Joe walking towards us so we should end this video now." I laughed too.

"Bye guys." We both waved and I stopped the video. When Joe got to us, we both gave him a hug and left.

"You guys don't want to buy any books?" He asked.

"No." I said. "I have enough at the house that I haven't read yet. Plus, I need to read My Sister's Keeper, which Nick gave me earlier."

"Yea, he gave me one too. I'm so excited to read it." Demi said.

"Psh, me too. I'm starting tonight. Dude, you should sleep over."

"So I can steal your clothes again? Aha, yea right."

"Actually, yes." I laughed. "And even if you don't want to, your house is like, a second away. We can stop there to pick up some things for you. And if you want, I can do your hair!" I gave her a hopeful smile as we walked outside and she gave me a look.

"Fine."

"Yes! Plus, you're sleeping in my room with me because I was never good with moving and new places, and I might have nightmares." She laughed.

"Okay."

"Why don't you just sleep next to me in my room?" Joe asked.

"Because I'm gonna have to get used to it eventually." He nodded in agreement. There were a few photographers as we walked to the car. Since they all were yelling at once, we couldn't understand them and just ignored what they said. We finally reached the car. Instead of going straight to the house, we got some Rita's then went to Demi's house to get her things, and then back to ours.

Demi put her things in my room. We both changed into comfortable clothes then went back downstairs. Kevin, Joe, and Nick were already changed too.

"You know, I don't understand why famous people buy extremely large houses that are kind of unnecessary." I said.

"Well, it's not really unnecessary." Kevin said. "If we were in a regular house, we would keep saying, 'man, I wish I had a workout room' or man, a theater would be really nice. A pool table too'."

"Okay, you have a point there, but I still think it's just a tad bit too much."

"But you like the house, right?" Joe asked.

"Yea, of course. It's freaking amazing but I'm just saying I wouldn't get a house this big. But since it's for all of us, then I guess it's okay."

"Good."

"So," Nick said. "How was the wardrobe check? I'm surprised you still have your hair."

"It was a lot of fun." I said. "I tried the clothes. Most of them fit except this one dress. And, of course, I can't walk in heels. I was surprisingly able to walk in these boots cause the heel was really thick, but then this one pair that goes with the dress, the heel was like, the size of a dime. Nick said I could try them again later on in the shooting. I tried on like, five different wigs. And my hair dresser, his name is Brian, and Nick both promised me that after I shave my head, my hair would be made into a wig and donated to a hospital."

"When are they shaving it all off?" Joe asked.

"Remember when we were reading the script and there was the scene where my character was getting chemo?" He nodded. "Well, since your hair falls out while you're getting chemo, they said they would shave it off a bit at a time so it looks more real in the movie or something." They nodded. "And he said we start shooting on Wednesday so he's gonna call me either Sunday or Monday to tell me where and what time."

"You excited?" Kevin asked.

"Hell yes! I have to call Brad and tell him too."

"When I was walking towards you guys, were you doing a video?" Joe asked.

"Yea. Speaking of," I said as I stood up. "I have to upload it on youtube." I ran upstairs, got my laptop, and then went back down. I uploaded it online, then closed the laptop and put it on the table in front of us.

"When are you gonna call Adam to help you and the guys with the music?" Demi asked.

"I don't know. I guess I should do it before we start shooting the movie so I'm not overly busy. Hmm, I don't know. Maybe Saturday or Sunday. I need Monday and Tuesday to freak out before Wednesday comes." Everyone laughed as I grabbed my laptop and got on twitter.

I replied to a bunch of people's questions as everyone talked. We were really bored when the doorbell randomly rang. Joe got up to open the door. I heard him laugh and him and someone else began walking to us.

"I heard there were new people in the neighborhood!" It was Miley. Everyone laughed and gave her a hug. She had a plate of warm cookies in her hand and she set it on the table.

"How are you, Miles?" I asked.

"I'm good." She said as she sat on the couch across from us, next to Kevin and Nick. "How about you guys? How are yall doin?"

"We're doin mighty fine, little lady." Joe said with a country accent and everyone laughed.

"We're just chillin out." I said. "I just got back from my wardrobe check for my movie."

"Wait, what?"

"What?" I asked confusedly.

"Your movie?" Her eyes widened. "You got the part?"

"Uhh…yea. Kinda old news, dude."

"Nobody told me! Congrats!" I laughed.

"Thanks."

"Was it the part you wanted?"

"Yup. I start shooting on Wednesday."

"I still can't believe you got the part and didn't tell me!"

"I'm sorry! Everybody knew, I thought you might've heard it from someone or something."

"No! I didn't!" I leaned over to the table and grabbed a couple cookies.

"To make it up to you," I said as I swallowed my first bite. "These cookies are amazing." She smiled.

"Thank you. I'm still pissed, though." I laughed and everybody took some cookies and we talked for hours. It was around twelve in the morning and none of us were tired yet.

"Miley, how's Justin?" Demi asked her.

"He's really good. He's probably sleeping right now or something. How about Cody?"

"He's good." I noticed there was something in her voice that I would talk to her about later.

"Miles, are you sleeping over?" Joe asked.

"No. I have to get back now actually." She stood up. "Make sure yall eat all the cookies and you can return the plate whenever." We all gave her a hug. "I'll see you guys later. Jael, next time something exciting is happening, tell me!" I laughed.

"I will. Promise."

"Good. Bye guys." And she left.

"Alright, I'm really tired so I'm gonna head up." I said.

"Uhh, same here." Demi said. I gave Joe a kiss and we both went upstairs to my room. I closed the door behind me and Demi sat on my bed.

"Dems, what's going on?" I asked her. She looked down and I noticed tears in her eyes.

"Cody dumped me." My eyes widened.

"What?" She started to cry a lot.

"He said there's too much going on in our lives and that we were too busy or something and-" She couldn't talk anymore from how much she was crying. I went over to her and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry, Demi."

"I don't know why he would do that, though. I loved him so much and then he just,"

"I know. I get it."

"I knew something was going on between us before the tour but I thought it was just stupid so I ignored it. And then I wrote Don't Forget about the whole thing because later on, I knew we were drifting apart and now he's actually gone and I don't know what to do." She rested her head against my shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?"

"Because I was hoping it wouldn't happen. And then after we were over, I was in such shock that I didn't want to believe any of it." Demi sighed and lay down on the bed. I laid beside her and pulled the blankets over us.

"It's weird because," I started. "All girls know that guys are stupid. But we tend to fall for them anyway."

"Tell me about it." She sniffed and wiped her tears.

"I remember when I was in 7th grade, there was this guy named Matt and he was friends with me, Evan, Jesse, and Matt. He was so funny and I really liked him. All of us hung out and I couldn't ask for a better friend. Even though I liked him, when Evan asked me out I said yes because I liked him too and I've never had a boyfriend before so why not, you know? Evan and I went out for the last half of 7th grade and the first have of 8th grade but for some reason, Matt stopped talking to me. On the first day of 8th grade, he gave me a hug and we acted like how we always did. But then he just…stopped talking to me. I was confused at first. I asked Evan and the guys but they had no idea why. And I still couldn't get over him."

"And over the summer of 7th, going to 8th grade, I got over my little crush because I was with Evan, you know, but that doesn't mean I didn't want to be friends with Matt anymore. I would tell him hi in the hallways and we never sat near one another during our classes so I couldn't talk to him then. But then I noticed that whenever I did talk to him, it would just be like whatever. So I stopped trying. I never understood why it bothered me so much, and I still don't, but I just…I was so mad at him and myself. I would always catch him staring it me or something but we never spoke an actual full sentence to each other."

"I would write songs and cry to my mom about him and I knew he wasn't worth it, but I just couldn't get him off my mind. And then one day, Evan and I talked and we both agreed that we were better off as friends. I still hung out with him and Jesse and Matt but the other one that stopped talking to me just…drifted out of my life. And I couldn't get over him for a whole year. Even in the 9th grade I wasn't over him. But eventually over the years, I just…forgot about him. Whenever I would remember something that was really funny that happened between us or had a dream with him in it, I had a lot too." She laughed. "And till this day, I still don't know why he stopped talking to me."

"If he randomly popped back in your life, what would you do?" Demi asked me.

"I don't know." I said. "I would talk to him. You know, ask him why and stuff. But that's it. I don't want to go through what I went through again. It was complete hell for me and it's the last thing I need in my life. I had my door open for him for years. If he decided to talk to me and become friends with me again, I would let him. But he never did so one day, I just blocked him out of my life and the door closed and locked all by itself."

"Good. This guy seems like an asshole anyway."

"You want to see a picture of him?" She laughed and looked at me.

"Okay." I got off the bed and looked through a small box in my closet for my 7th and 8th grade yearbook. I took both of them and sat back beside Demi on the bed. I flipped to the page in the 7th grade book and showed it to her. "Oh my god." She said. "He's kinda adorable." I laughed.

"I know!" I showed her the picture in the 8th grade book and she shook her head. "I can't believe he did that to you."

"He played the guitar too. He could be in the band right now if he didn't do what he did." We both sighed. "So kids, the moral for today's class is?"

"Guys are stupid." Demi said.

"Amen." I put the yearbooks away and got back in the bed next to Demi. "I love you, Demi. Possibly as much as I love Joe." She giggled.

"Why, thank you. I love you too. More than I love Joe." I laughed.

"That makes me feel very wanted. Thank you."

"Anytime."

**The story about the guy Matt, very true. He's an asshole and I hate him. And it's not the same Matt that's in the band, don't worry. And the whole wardrobe fitting thing, I have no idea how they work so I just made it up. And I don't know who Don't Forget is actually about, so I made up my own story for it. Review please.**


	20. Live Chat

The next morning, I woke up around ten thirty. After I used the bathroom and brushed, I got in the shower. When I came out, I wore sweats and a tank top. I parted my hair the way I wanted and just let it air dry. I walked back to my room and Demi was still asleep. I made my side of the bed but when I looked up at Demi, her arm was hanging over the edge of the bed and there was something on her wrist. I moved to the other side and looked at it. She cut herself. I looked at her and sighed. I slowly moved her arm under the blanket so it was hidden.

"I love you, Demi. Please don't do anything stupid." I said and went down to the kitchen to make some coffee. No one was awake yet so I just made a full pot, added the things I wanted into it and went back to my room. I put the mug on my side table and grabbed my laptop. I decided now would be the best time to organize the questions for my video.

I went through pages and pages of the video, finding as many questions as I could. There were so many, I don't even know if I would be able to ask all of them in one video.

About an hour later, there was a knock on my door. When it opened, I saw Joe. I placed my finger over my lips, telling him to stay quiet because of Demi. He walked over to me and gave me a kiss.

"Morning." He whispered.

"Hey," I replied.

"What's wrong with Demi?" He asked, noticing the tears stained to her cheeks.

"Cody dumped her." I told him and his eyes widened.

"When?"

"A few days ago. Don't Forget is about him. She said she noticed him changing before the tour and she felt them drifting, so she wrote Don't Forget about him."

"Wow."

"I know. We were talking a lot last night and I'm trying to make her feel better but I don't think I've ever seen her this down before." He nodded.

"We'll try something. So," He began, still whispering. "What are you doing?"

"Putting questions from the fans together so I can do my questions and answer video for them today. Probably gonna do a live one or something."

"Okay. Do you know if you're gonna come down anytime soon?"

"I'll probably just wait for Demi to wake up."

"Alright. See you in a bit." He gave me another kiss then left. I looked over at Demi, knowing that she was awake.

"Don't worry," I said. "I didn't tell him about your wrist." She turned over and looked at me.

"How did you know?"

"I saw it when you were sleeping." She sighed and sat up. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna give you that crap telling you to stop because I've done it before. But you'll realize soon enough that he's not worth it." I said, thinking about Matt, the guy I told Demi about. "How you feeling?"

"Like shit. But what can I do?"

"He's gonna regret it. Trust me. Since I know he actually has a heart, he'll apologize." She nodded and rubbed her eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting questions for the video."

"Oh. Hey, can I borrow a pair of sweats? I don't feel like wearing jeans."

"Sure. Look in my closet and take whichever you want."

"Thanks." After she chose a pair, she grabbed her things and went in my bathroom. While she was in the shower, I got some more questions but decided it was enough. I went on my twitter and updated my status.

_Finished collecting all the questions for the Questions/Answer video. Maybe I'll throw in a couple shoutouts too but since I'll do a live broadcast, I'll just do the shoutouts from the chat instead of collecting those too. A few surprise guests. Can't wait!_

Demi came out a few minutes later wearing my sweats and a t-shirt.

"You want me to cover the cuts up with make up for you?"

"Please?" I took some of my make up from my make up case and sat in front of her on the bed. She rested her hand on my thigh and I covered it as best as I could. You could barely see it unless you stared at it for a while. "Thank you." I put the make up away when I saw Demi looking at the things on my desk. I froze when she placed her hand on my mother's jewelry box.

"This is really pretty." She said.

"Thanks." My eyes watered a little. "It's my mom's." I walked over to her and she looked at me.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's okay. I actually haven't even paid any attention to it since I got it." I opened the box and smiled as I saw each necklace, earrings, and rings. I remembered each and every one of them. "This was her favourite necklace." I took it out and just stared at it. "My grandmother gave it to her a long time ago."

"What happened to your grandma?"

"She died of old age." Demi nodded. "I miss both of them so much. I loved my Grandmother. Every time we went to Ireland, she would make the best food in the world. And she was so cool, you know? Like, she made her own clothes and jewelry. She made this one too."

"Didn't your mom give you the necklace you wear all the time?" I nodded.

"She told me Luke gave it to her when they were together and that she never took it off. She said whenever I wear it, then she would be there with me."

"I'm really sorry, Jael. I shouldn't have brought it up." She said as the tears slid down my cheeks.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm glad you did or else I would have never opened this." It was quiet for a bit. "Want to head downstairs now?"

"Sure." We both went down to the kitchen. Demi pored herself some coffee and I put my mug in the sink, then we both went to the living room.

"Morning guys." I said to Nick and Kevin.

"Morning." They replied. Demi and I sat next to Joe on one couch and Kevin and Nick sat on the other. "So what's the plan for today?" Nick asked.

"I don't know." I said. "I'm gonna be doing a live video chat for the fans so I can answer a bunch of questions."

"And I'm probably gonna join her." Demi said. "But we should invite Caity and Kiwi."

"Yea, I haven't seen Kiwi in forever." I agreed.

"Alright," Joe said. "Jael, did you tell Brad everything about the movie and the band name and stuff?"

"No, not yet. I'll be right back, guys." I went up to my room and took my phone to call Brad. I explained to him everything that happened at the wardrobe check and the band name. He said he would swing by later today for me to sign a contract and writing the new band name so it's official.

I went back downstairs and asked Demi if she was ready to do the video chat now. She said yes and we both went back to my room. Before I went on my U-stream account and signed in, Demi and I put some make up on. After about ten minutes, I figured out what I was doing then went on twitter, giving everybody the link to where the chat would be. I made sure I was recording the chat and just within minutes, the number of people went from hundreds to thousands.

"Wow, that's really creepy." I said and Demi laughed. "Alright, we're just gonna wait for the room to fill up completely before we start. And for the record, do not ask question yet, okay? We have a list of questions here that we'll start with, then we'll get to yours."

We waited a couple more minutes then got started.

"Okay, hey everyone." Demi said.

"We have a list of questions right here with us, and there's a lot, so cope with us." I put the questions on a windows document, so all I had to do was open it up and it was right there, next to the chat.

"And remember, we're not doing shoutouts till after the questions." Demi said.

"Yea, and I might slip a few 'bad words'," Demi laughed. "So if you have a problem with that then you are free to leave."

"Okay, question number one says, Jael, what is your favourite colour?" Demi read.

"I like, orange, yellow, purple, green, black, I like all colours really, but I guess those are my most favourite since I have to choose. How about you Demi?"

"I like black, red, and green."

"Alright, question number two, if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? For me, it would definitely be Ireland or New York but that's just because I've never been anywhere else. But I think living in like, England or something would be kinda cool. What do you think Demi?"

"That would be awesome. Of course, Texas will always have a place in my heart, but if it's anywhere, probably somewhere in Europe."

"Cool. Okay, next one asks, who are your best friends?"

"I think I can say for both of us that we have a lot, but of course Jael is one of mine and I'm one of hers." I nodded in agreement. "The next question asks, are we friends with Miley. We love her. She just came over last night and brought us cookies because they just moved to a new house and she was making a joke and whatever. It was pretty fun."

"What is your favourite movie?" I read. "Wow, I have a lot. To name one, it would be Girl Interrupted."

"I haven't seen that in a while." Demi said.

"I have it on DVD. We can watch it later tonight."

"Okay. And my favourite movie is…I don't know. I'm in love with like, all Nicholas Sparks movies. Especially The Notebook."

"Yea, same here. And Ryan Gosling is so cute!" Demi laughed.

"He is. Aha, and the next question is who are your celebrity crushes? Mine is William Becket from The Academy Is."

"I have a lot so get ready." I said and Demi laughed. "Shia Labeouf, Johnny Depp, Jake Gyllenhaal, Josh Holloway, Thomas Dekker, Ian Somerhalder, Robert Downey Jr., Rupert Grint, Robert Sheehan, and a million more." Demi laughed.

"Selena is in love with Shia Labeouf."

"Really?"

"Yea, she has been for so many years, it's crazy."

"Well, maybe I just might gush over him with her one day. You never know." We both laughed. "Next question asks, what are your favourite fruits?"

"Oranges and grapes for me." Demi said.

"I like any fruit. I said and shrugged. Especially Pineapples."

"Yea, pineapples are good." Demi looked through the list of questions. "Dude, how many questions are there?" I laughed.

"A lot. We're not gonna do all of them now, don't worry. How about we do a few more then we'll do shoutouts and questions from the people that are actually watching."

"Sounds good. Favourite TV show?"

"Lost!" Demi laughed. "Lost, Supernatural, Family Guy, and Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles."

"Yea, I don't really watch that much TV. She made me watch a bunch of Lost episodes but it's not really my favourite."

"But you have to admit that the show is amazing, right?"

"Oh yea, of course. It's genius." I nodded in agreement.

"Umm, next question! Favourite Disney movies?"

"If you're talking about like, the cartoon classics then I'm gonna say Alice In Wonderland."

"Same here. And I really like Tarzan, Mulan, Pocahontas, and Lion King. I'm in love with those."

"Oh my god, Tarzan!" Demi laughed. "Wow, so many memories just rushed back into my head. And Phil Collins, holy crap!"

"I know! We should watch that tonight too cause I sorta have it on DVD." She laughed again.

"Okay. Do you guys get along with Connect 3? Yes, we do. They are some of our best friends."

"Yea, even though Demi knew them way longer than I have, I feel like we've been best friends since we were kids."

"Yea, and it's so funny when you see Jael and Nick arguing. They fight like brother and sister, it's hilarious."

"Yea, but I love Nick. He can be annoying at times, but he's alright." Demi laughed. "I'm just joking for those of you who didn't catch that." I shook my head at the camera, just as a joke of course, and Demi hit me jokingly and we laughed.

"So anyway," Demi said. "You want to read questions and shoutouts from the live audience now?"

"Sure." I quickly deleted the questions we already asked from the word document and minimized it. "Okay, shout out to Alex and Grant from Maryland."

"Hey guys." Demi said.

"Umm, what's up Jamie and Bradley from Maryland again. What's going on, guys?"

"Austen and Nick from Virginia." Demi said. "Ashley, Caity, Brandon, Britney, Doug, and Jacob from Illinois. How's it going?" After a few shoutouts, my phone dinged, telling me I had a text.

"Oh, I wonder who that could be." It was from Evan.

_Matt, Jesse, and I are watching you right now._

I laughed and showed Demi the text.

"Guys, I want you to give a shout out to Evan, Matt, and Jesse, my band. They are watching right now. Hi guys!"

"Hey!" Demi and I laughed.

We both read a bunch more shout outs then decided to read some questions.

"Jael, can you tell us anything about your movie?" Demi read.

"No. I can say who's gonna be in it, though. Should I?"

"I think you should. Do you guys?" Demi asked the fans and within seconds, there were hundreds of Yes's. Demi and I laughed.

"Alright, the people who will be in this movie that I am going to be in are-"

"Demi! Jael! Brad, Caity, and Kiwi are here!" Joe yelled and Demi and I laughed.

"Damn, sorry guys." I said while snapping. "Wait one second." I stood up and opened the door and stuck my head out. "Tell them to come up here if they want! Demi and I are doing a live chat!"

"Okay!" I closed the door and sat back on the bed beside Demi.

"Let's see if they're gonna come up. Anyways, do you guys like sushi? Yes, I love sushi."

"No, I don't like it." Demi said. "I had it once and I just…yea. No." We both laughed.

"Yea, no? Got it."

"Shut up. Jael, when are you gonna start recording your songs?"

"I don't know. Umm, the songs are already written and the music is sort of done for some of them, but I'm gonna get together with Adam Gontier from Three Days Grace in a couple days and he said he would help me with the rest. After that, I have to work on the movie so hopefully when I don't have to go to set then I can go to the studio, but we'll see."

"Uhh, Jael, how did you meet Connect 3?"

"I went to Camp Rock. As we all know, Joe he used to have an attitude problem and they sent him to that camp so he could get some help or whatever. And I happened to be there the same year he went. Caity was my first friend there and she introduced me to Kiwi and some other people. Umm, Joe and I just started talking and I ended up bringing the 'real him' out and since then, we've been best friends. There was this jam called Beach Jam where Nick and Kevin came to sing with Joe just as a surprise for everybody and a couple weeks after, they came back because they were performing on Final Jam too and they had to learn their dancing part and stuff and Joe introduced me to them. After Camp Rock, we went to LA and they introduced me to Garbo, John, and the rest of the crew and I love all of them so much. They're so hilarious."

"And then I was introduced to Demi who introduced me to Selena and Miley, and they introduced me to like, a million other people. And I totally just gave you this really long answer that was very unnecessary but I suck at explaining things, if you couldn't tell."

"Deep breath's, Jael." Demi joked and I breathed in as she laughed. "How was tour for both of you? Tour was awesome." Demi said. "It's amazing being with your best friends for two whole months."

"Same here."

"What are some of the craziest or awesome things while you were on tour? Not a lot of crazy things happened to me. The whole thing was awesome. Oh, someone threw a beach ball at my head." I laughed.

"Are you serious?"

"Yes! It bounced off and went back in the crowd so I couldn't really do anything. And I fell like, a million times but that's pretty much it."

"For me was probably going to Bluesfest and meeting Three Days Grace. That was really awesome. And then getting the part I wanted for the movie. And at Bluesfest, I became friends with this girl Jac; she makes amazing bracelets and stuff. I want all you guys to go to Jac Vanek dot com and order something from her. I got this bracelet from her." I put my arm in front of the camera so they could see my Lost bracelet. "It's a Lost bracelet and I love it."

"Yea, and I have one that says PEACE on it but it's at home."

"I haven't gotten the chance to get any of her other ones but I most definitely will." There was a knock on the door. "Come in!" I said and Caity and Kiwi walked in. "Ahh!" I quickly stood up and ran into Kiwi's arms, then Caity's. "How the hell are you guys?" Demi gave them a hug after I did.

"We're good. We haven't seen you in forever though." Kiwi said.

"No shit! We're doing a live chat for the fans. Come say hi." We all got on the bed, facing my laptop.

"HIIII!" Kiwi and Caity yelled and Demi and I laughed.

"Don't scream! What if they're using headphones?" I said.

"Oh, sorry guys." Caity said. "Our bad."

"Help us answer some questions." Demi said.

"Alright, the party is about to get started." Kiwi sad and we laughed. "What is your favourite snack?"

"Cheese!" Demi and I said at the same time then bust out laughing. "Cheese is possibly the best thing in the world." Demi said.

"What's the first song you learned on the guitar and piano?" I read. "Smoke On The Water for the guitar. It's like, the easiest song in the world. I learned that and Jingle Bells during 7th grade music class. And then I learned that one song that goes 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight' and Ode To joy on the piano during 8th grade music class."

"What are your bad habits?" Caity read.

"Oh god." Kiwi said. "You should hear Jael cracking her knuckles. It's disgusting!"

"Great Kiwi, now you reminded me to do it." I cracked all my knuckles and everyone's mouth dropped and people were saying 'ewe' in the chat. I started laughing. "Sorry guys. It's his fault. What is your favourite ice cream? I don't eat ice cream. I am a Popsicle and sorbet kind of person."

"I love Rocky Road." Demi said. "And Cookie Dough. Umm, shout out to Natasha from London. What's up?"

"Jael, do you have a myspace?" Kiwi read.

"N-"

"Answer the question!" He yelled and I pushed him off the bed.

"No, I do not but I'm sure one will be made for my band soon, once like, the album is finished or something. And I'm still thinking about making a personal one."

"Demi, do you have a myspace?" Demi read. "Yes. Its myspace dot com slash demi lovato. I don't have a facebook or twitter or anything else."

"Yet." I said and she laughed. "How was it working with The Veronicas? They are amazing. I love them both."

"Jess and Lisa are great. I haven't seen them since the tour ended but hopefully we'll get to hang out soon." Demi said.

"What is the most played song on your iTunes? Umm," I checked. "I've been listening to a lot of Otep lately. I love her so much."

"Who's Otep?" Demi asked.

"You listen to metal and stuff, right?" I asked and she nodded. "After this, I'll let you listen to her. I don't really listen to screamo or anything like that, but the way she writes and how her songs are, it's just…amazing."

"Okay, cool." I heard my phone ding. It was a text from Matt.

_Tell Caity I said hi and that I miss her._

_**Okay.**_

"Caity, Matt says hi and that he misses you." She smiled.

"I just saw him like, ten minutes before we came here." I laughed.

"He's watching, by the way." She laughed and waved at the camera.

"Hi Matt!"

"Wait, Jael, this person says she has to leave because her mom is making her go to her cousins birthday party but she doesn't want to miss it."

"Tell your mom she's a-no I'm just kidding." We laughed. "Don't worry, hun. This is recording and I'm gonna put it on my youtube afterwards." There was a knock on my door and it opened. "Hey Brad." I said when he walked in. He had a folder in his hand. "Have a seat." I patted an empty spot on my bed. "Guys, this is Bradley. I posted a picture of him on twitter but for those of you who don't have one, this is him. Isn't he cute?" Everyone laughed. "He is my manager for everything, my agent, and everything else. What do you have in your folder?"

"This is the contract you have to sign, confirming your new band name." I smiled at the camera.

"So I just write my name and the band name and we're done?" I asked him.

"No. You and the rest of the band has to sign it and the band name, then I have to take it back let them confirm that no one else has the name, and then you're good to go."

"Evan, Matt, Jesse, if you're still watching, come over and sign these papers." My phone dinged.

_On our way [:_

Jesse said and I laughed.

"They're coming. So, I can't tell you the band name yet but as soon as I can, I will. All right, well, this chat is getting really long. I'll do another one as soon as I can. Love you guys, bye." Everybody waved at the camera, then I stopped recording. I sighed and got off the bed. "Let's go downstairs. My room is too crowded."

We all went downstairs to see Joe, Nick, and Kevin chilling in the living room. I sat beside Joe and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders as Demi sat beside me.

"Matt, Jesse, and Evan are on their way to sign some papers Brad brought." I told them.

"How was the chat?" Joe asked.

"It was fun. Kinda of awkward at parts but yea, it was fun."

"I think it's more awkward when you're doing it by yourself." Demi said and I agreed.

"So, when do you guys start filming your show?" I asked.

"I think next week or the week after." Kevin said. "I have to confirm with my dad."

"How about you, Demi?" I asked.

"I don't know. I think they're still finalizing the cast and stuff, so probably not for a while."

"So you'll be able to visit me on set?" I said hopefully and she laughed.

"Yea, I'll try."

"And then after I'm done filming, I'll come visit you guys on set. And then after we're done filming, Brad should totally get me more auditions and hopefully the album will be done. Maybe in the beginning of '09 or however things work out, I'll go on tour for a couple months. I'm pretty sure the fans will like that."

"That would be really cool. I'll come visit you on tour as well." Demi said.

"Good. You guys too." I said to Kevin, Nick, and Joe.

"Wouldn't miss it."

**I know I haven't updated in forever and I apologise completely. It's had to do with moving/school/life and I'm sorry. Please review guys and forgive me.**


	21. Broken Hearts

Evan, Jesse, and Matt came over and we all signed the papers. I smiled when I saw Matt give Caitlyn a kiss cause it was really cute.

We all hung out for a few hours after that. Around lunchtime, we ordered pizza and pretty much just binged on that for a good hour or so. Brad left soon after to go back to Warner Bros. After everything was cleaned up, I brought my journal with the songs in it and the guys and I went down to the music room.

"When are you calling Adam?" Matt asked me.

"I don't know. Sometime before Monday. Unless you guys want me to call him today so we can get this over with?"

"Whatever. I'm cool with it if he came today."

"Yea, same here." Jesse and Evan agreed and I took my phone out.

"Alright." I dialed his number and put it on speaker.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey Adam, it's Jael."

"_Hey Jael. How's it going?"_

"It's good. I hope this isn't a bad time?"

"_No, not at all. What's up?"_

"My band and I were wondering if you wanted to come over today so we could work on the music for our songs. Only if you're free, of course."

"_Yea, sure. I had nothing to do, anyways."_

"Awesome." I gave him the address. "See you in a bit."

"_Alright. Bye."_

"Oh man, I'm kind of nervous now." Matt said and we laughed.

"Deep breaths, Matt. Deep breaths." The four of us went upstairs. We told everyone that Adam was coming over. Joe, Nick, and Kevin had to leave somewhere to have a meeting about their new show with the rest of the cast. Once they got ready, I gave Joe a kiss and they left.

Now, it was only the guys, Demi, and I in the house and we were back in the music room. A few minutes later, I ended up playing random songs on the piano and Demi would just sing them. The guys would have their instruments and make up sounds to go with it. We were all laughing and having a great time when the doorbell rang. I ran upstairs and opened the door.

"Hey Adam." I said and gave him a hug.

"Hey," He walked in and looked around. "This place is huge."

"I told you it would be. Come on. We're all in the music room." He followed me down there. He said hey to the guys and I introduced him to Demi. When Adam turned around, Demi looked at me and gave me a huge smile. I laughed and took a seat on the couch. Adam walked over and sat beside me.

"Alright, where's your notebook?" Adam asked me.

"Right over there. Jesse, toss it over." Jesse grabbed it and handed it to me.

"Okay, let's start out with this one." Adam, the guys, and I talked and made music and after a couple songs, we took a break. Adam went to the bathroom and I took my phone to update my twitter.

_Working on my songs with Adam, my band, and Demi is helping out. Love these people to death. I hope you guys are excited for this album. I know I am._

When Adam came back, we all just chilled a bit. He got to know Demi and the guys better, which was pretty cool. Afterwards, we worked on the rest of the songs. They turned out to be really good and even though the meaning behind each of them made me cry, the guys and Demi were there for me and let me mourn when I needed to.

"We're finished," I said and smiled. "So Adam, when do I get to meet this lovely wife of yours?" I asked.

"I can bring her with me the next time we meet up."

"Awesome. You should do that."

"And when do I get to meet your hot boyfriend?" I laughed.

"Well, if you stay here long enough, you get to meet not only him, but his two best friends."

"This is like a dream, I'm so excited." We all laughed.

Later on, I don't even know how, but I had to prove to Adam that I actually was a fan of Three Days Grace. I ended up playing I Hate Everything About You and Never Too Late on the piano.

"That was actually really good." He said.

"Thank you." I replied and smiled. A few minutes later, I heard the front door open. "Guess they're home." I said and stood up. "I'll go tell them you're here. Be right back."

"Okay." I went up and Nick, Joe, and Kevin were in the kitchen. I gave Joe a hug and a kiss.

"Hey, Adam is still here. Demi, Evan, Jesse, and Matt are down in the music room and Adam wants to meet you guys." They nodded.

"Alright, cool. Let's go." Kevin said and we all went down to the music room. They all introduced themselves to Adam and talked a bit. He was really nice to them.

After about a half hour, he decided to go. I walked him to the door and told him to tell his wife I said hello. He gave me a hug and then left. I walked to the living room where everybody went and sat beside Joe. He put his arm around me and I snuggled against his shoulder.

"So when are we watching Girl, Interrupted?" Demi asked.

"I can grab it right now from my room if you guys want?" I asked and they all said yes. I ran up to my room, got the DVD and went back down. A couple minutes later, there was a knock on the door. I went to open it and saw Miley and Justin. I let them both in and gave them a hug. "We're about to watch Girl, Interrupted. Come join us." When we went to the living room, Justin and Miley greeted everyone.

"Are we gonna watch this in the theatre?" I asked.

"Sure." Joe replied. "Let's go. I'll lead the way." As we were walking, Miley walked slower so she was at my pace and once everyone was out of earshot, she turned to me.

"What's wrong with Demi?" She asked me.

"Cody broke up with her." I said and her eyes widened.

"What?"

"That's why she wrote Don't Forget. She noticed their relationship wasn't as strong as it used to be so she wrote it, knowing it would come to an end soon. She stayed the night last night and I think she will for the next couple days just so she can get her clarity back. I'm trying to help her as much as I can but I don't know if it's doing anything. I'm trying, though." Miley sighed and nodded.

"I hope she's okay."

"Me too." We heard footsteps coming towards us and when we looked up, Demi just walked in.

"You guys coming?" She asked.

"Uhh, yea. We'll be there in a minute." I said and handed her the DVD.

"We were just getting snacks." Miley said.

"Oh, you don't need to. There are soda and candy machines down there. Just like a regular theater."

"Of course there is." She said. "Let's go, then."

We went down and put the movie in. I sat between Demi and Joe. Joe had his arm around me and every time I noticed Demi was losing focus and her eyes started watering, I squeezed her hand, letting her know I was there for her.

After the movie, Justin started clapping really loud like how they do at theaters and we all laughed.

"SUCH a good movie. SO good." He said and I laughed even more.

"Winona Ryder and Angelina Jolie are amazing actresses, I love them."

"Me too." Miley agreed.

"Angelina Jolie is amazing. She was pretty crazy, I loved it." Demi said.

We all went upstairs and hung out in the living room.

"You guys hungry?" Miley said.

"Kind of." Kevin replied. "Jael, you should make your awesome spaghetti."

"Yea? You guys liked that?"

"Are you kidding? It was the best!"

"Well we've never had it so I think you should make it so we can try it." Justin said and I smiled.

"Okay. I guess I'm making spaghetti." I walked into the kitchen and Joe followed me.

"I'm gonna guess you need some help?" He asked, bringing up what happened the last time I tried making it.

"You know, I think I got a little stronger since then." I replied.

"Really? Because you still only look like skin and bone to me." He joked. My mouth dropped and he laughed.

"I resent that!"

"Yea? Well I guess we'll just have to see."

"Yea I guess so. Start boiling the water. I'll get the sauce ingredients."

"You're a very scary and damaged woman." I laughed.

"I am not!"

"Yea, those split ends say otherwise." I playfully hit him and we both laughed.

"You're an ass, you know that?"

"Well I try my best." He gave me one of his charming smiles. I just rolled my eyes and shook my head even though I was smiling the whole time. I grabbed a pot for the sauce and when I was about to walk to the stove, Joe purposely bumped into me. "Sorry, didn't see you there. You were turned sideways." I put the pot down and started hitting him as he laughed.

"You're so mean!" I said as I started laughing too.

"Ow! Stop hitting me!"

"Go boil the water!" I yelled as we were both laughing and finally, he went to do it.

Finally we got all the vegetables done and into the sauce and the spaghetti was almost done too. Joe started getting the glass and silverware. When the spaghetti was done, he strained it and I pored the sauce into a bowl. I got a soupspoon and put it in the bowl then grabbed the Parmesan cheese and set it on the table. I went to the living room and told everyone the food was ready.

They all came and sat at the table. Everyone got their food. I grabbed the Parmesan cheese and started putting it on my spaghetti.

"Jeez Jael, would you like some spaghetti with that cheese?" Nick asked and everyone laughed.

"I like cheese. Sue me." I gave Demi the cheese and she pretty much did the same thing.

"You guys are weird." We all laughed again.

After we finished the spaghetti, I put away the leftovers. It was getting kind of late and we all decided to go to bed. We let Justin and Miley spend the night. They went to the guesthouse and Demi and I went to my room.

"Are you okay? You didn't eat much." I asked her as we changed into our pajamas.

"I'm fine. Just…a lot on my mind. You know?"

"Yea. I do."

"Umm, the spaghetti was really good, though." I smiled.

"Thanks." I sighed. "Listen, Demi, I know you're going through a rough time. Trust me, I've been there more times than anyone can count, but I don't want you beating yourself up for this. He's not worth it."

"I know. But…he broke my heart. I can't just move on like nothing happened." She said as tears filled her eyes. "I loved him, Jael. How would you feel if Joe broke up with you?" I knew she was right, so I didn't say anything.

"Just be careful. Don't take the same path I did. Trust me." And with that said, I turned off the lights, laid down and fell asleep.

The next morning I woke up around seven. I don't even know why I've been waking up so early lately. I went to the bathroom, took a shower, got dressed in sweat capris and a t-shirt, then went down to the kitchen, made some tea, and took a seat on the balcony, overlooking the beautiful view.

I stayed in that same spot for what felt like forever. A few minutes later, I heard something and Miley sat beside me with coffee in her hand.

"Morning." She said.

"Morning."

"What time did you wake up?" She asked me.

"Seven. You?"

"I don't know. Does waking up about five times during the night count?" I chuckled. "How's she doing?"

"She's…she was in love. And he broke her heart. Whatever she's going through, it's going to take a while to get over."

"I know the feeling."

"Me too."

**Review! Thank you.**


	22. First Day Of Set

Later that day when everyone woke up, we were just hanging out in the living room.

"Dude," I said. "I really need to get my license. And a car."

"Then get your license and a car." Kevin said.

"But don't I need to study for the test or whatever?"

"Didn't you say you already could drive? All they're gonna make you do is take the written test, which you probably would want to study for, then the driving, which should be a lot easier."

"Is it possible for me to do all that before Wednesday?" I asked.

"Sure, if you call now." Kevin said then pulled his wallet out of his pocket. "Here, this is the people that Joe went to." He handed me a card. It read a number and a small description of what they did.

I called them a few minutes later and they said they had an opening in about three and a half hours. I made the appointment then hung up the phone.

"I still have my booklet thing if you want to study." Joe said.

"Okay." He went to get it and when he came back, he handed it to me.

I read every single page about three times, making sure I knew everything. Most of the things were just review to me but to make sure, Joe took the booklet and started testing me.

"What does an eight-sided sign mean?" Joe read from the booklet. "A. Stop. B. Yield. C. Wrong Way?"

"Stop." I said.

"**At an intersection with a four-way stop, which driver can go first? **A. The driver that reached the intersection first, B. The driver to the left of you, or C, The driver in front of you?"

"A." He asked me the rest of the questions and so far, I only got two wrong. I studied a little more, he tested me again, and I got them all right.

"Remember, this is an old booklet so the questions might've changed."

"Yea, okay."

"Do you want to take a spin before you go?" I looked at him.

"Seriously?"

"Yea, why not? You still have an hour till you have to leave, so just to make sure, you can drive around the neighborhood." I shrugged.

"Okay." We stood up. "Be right back, guys." I told everyone and Joe and I left. He handed me the keys and as soon as I opened the car door, Joe shut it and spun me around. He leaned me against the car and kissed me.

I wrapped my arms around his neck as I leaned more against the car. After a few minutes, he pulled away.

"It's a good thing our house is gates or the paparazzi would be taking pictures of us right now." He said as he rested his head against my forehead.

"Those pervs." I said and kissed him again as he chuckled against my lips. He pulled away and kissed my forehead.

"Come on." He said and we both got in the car.

I made sure all the mirrors were angled correctly and the seat was adjusted to my height, then put my seatbelt on. I started the car, put it on drive, and drove to the front of the gate. I pushed the button on the top of the car and waited as the gates opened and closed.

I was a little nervous since I hadn't driven in a long time, but it seemed to be going good so far. When we stopped at a red light, I quickly took my phone out and updated my twitter.

_Taking Joe's car out for a spin. I have a driving test in a bit so hopefully I'll get my license. Wish me luck!_

After driving around the block a little, we went to an empty grocery story and practiced parking. After doing it different ways, Joe said I was doing a really good job.

"You want to practice parallel parking?" Joe asked.

"Uh oh. What if I crash your car?"

"Don't do that." I laughed. I drove somewhere where there was a bunch of parallel parking spaces. I found the easiest one and tried it. It took me a while, but I got it eventually.

"Yes!" I shouted after I got it. "Now how do I get out of here?" He laughed this time. All I did was make sure no cars were coming, turned the steering wheel all the way to the left and pushed the gas petal, and I was out.

"Good job." He said. I drove back home and parked the car the way it was before. We went inside the house and everyone was still in the living room, talking.

"How'd she do?" Demi asked.

"Really good, actually. Not a bad parallel parker either."

"Really? Congrats."

"Thank you. Now hopefully I won't freeze up at the Driver's Ed place."

"How long till you leave?" Justin asked.

"Uhh," I looked at the time on my phone. "15 minutes."

We all talked for those fifteen minutes. When it was time, Joe drove me to the place. We walked in and I told the person at the front desk when my appointment was. Joe and I had to wait a little but when it was time, they called me up and we went into a room. They give me a small packet and a pencil for the test.

After about ten minutes, I handed it to the lady, Michelle, and she started to check it.

"Congratulations, Jael. You got them all right." I smiled. "Now it's time for your driving test. Follow me." We followed where she went, which was outside, behind the building. There was a student car there and of course a bunch of cones that led me where I needed to go. The lady got in the passenger seat, which had a steering wheel as well, and I got in the drivers seat as Joe got in the back.

"You're going to be driving through these cones, and if you do good, we'll go on the actual road." I smiled.

"Okay."

"Now, what do you do first?"

"Seatbelt. So we can be safe." Joe and Michelle laughed when I mimicked Dora.

"Then what?"

"Check my mirrors."

"And?"

"Adjust my seat."

"One more."

"Put the car on drive then ease my foot on the gas pedal ever so gently." They laughed as I did what I said.

So far, I did everything okay. The turns and stuff were pretty easy but when it came to the parallel parking, I got kind of nervous. I slowly eased my way into the parking space, and after what seemed like forever, I got it.

"Good job." Michelle said as she checked something off on her clipboard. "I think you're ready for some real driving. The exit is right down there." I left and we stopped at a stop sign. "Okay, what is something you can't do while you're on the highway?"

"Uhh, tailgating, and you can't drive directly next to someone unless you're Bruce Willis in Diehard." They laughed again.

"Good."

I drove around for about ten minutes, then drove back when Michelle told me to. I parked the car and we all stepped out. Michelle filled something out on her clipboard and smiled at me.

"You did a very good job, Jael. Congratulations, you're getting your license." I smiled.

"Thank you!" I gave her a hug and she laughed.

"Here," She handed me the paper she filled out. "Take this to the front desk. You're gonna have to fill out some papers, get your picture taken, and I believe they will tell you the rest."

"Okay." I said. "Thank you." Joe and I went back inside and like Michelle said, I handed the lady at the front desk the paper. She gave me a clipboard with a bunch of papers on it that asked me questions like my phone number, address, etc. And how much alcohol I intake, if I do any drugs, and all that stuff. When I was done, I handed it back. She put the papers in a manila folder and then told me to follow her to the back.

There was a small booth type thing where people got their pictures taken. I took a seat and when the lady told me to, I smiled and she snapped the picture. I looked at it to make sure it was fine, and since it was, she told me my license would come in the mail in a day or two.

"Thank you." I told her and Joe and I left.

"So, any ideas on what car you want?" Joe asked me as we drove back home.

"No, not really. I know nothing about cars."

"Well, give me some detail of how you want it to be."

"Umm, nothing too big like this one, but not too small either. Black, a navigation system in it would be pretty nice…and yea, that's all I can think of."

"Okay. Got it."

When we got home, I ran inside and told everybody the news. They all gave me a hug and I told them that my license would come in the mail in a couple days. While we were all talking, I took my phone out and updated my twitter.

_Getting my license in a couple days. Can't believe I actually passed. Haha, can't wait for my car too. Thanks for all of you who wished me luck [:_

We talked a little more when my phone started to ring.

"Hello?"

"_Jael, it's Caity. I need to talk to you about something. I'll be over in a few minutes."_

"Okay. Is everything all right?"

"_Yea, totally. See you in a bit."_ I hung up the phone and told everyone Caity was coming over. I stood up and went outside to wait for her. I saw her car pull up and walked over to it as she got out.

"Hey, Caity." I said and gave her a hug.

"Hey." We walked inside the house and she greeted everyone. I told them we would be right down and went up to my room.

"The house is really nice."

"Thanks. So what's going on?" I asked as I took a seat on the bed. She sat beside me and sighed.

"Matt and I have been spending every day together. Every single day and…I've never been more happy." I smiled. "He told me he loved me."

"Really?" I asked. "Did you say it back?"

"Yes. I did because I really do love him. So much. And I know it's still early in the relationship, but-"

"It's not early. Joe told me he loved me the day of Final Jam and we've only been going out for like, what, a week?" She smiled.

"And I know we're moving really fast but…I feel right. I feel like he's my soul mate, like we can do anything together! I mean, if he proposed to me, I would say yes in a heartbeat. I want his babies, Jael." She said seriously and I couldn't help but laugh. "Stop laughing at me!"

"I'm sorry," I said as I calmed down a bit. "It's just…nothing. I'm happy for you guys."

"Good. And yea, I just wanted to fill you in on us." I smiled. "So, enough about me, how's everything going on over here?" I filled her in on Cody and Demi then told her I passed my driving exam and that I would be getting my license in a couple days.

"And when do you start filming?"

"Wednesday." She smiled really widely.

"That's only a couple days from now."

"I know. I'm so excited to meet everybody and just…do this, you know?"

"You mean Thomas Dekker." I laughed.

"Him too, but…yea, mainly him." We both laughed this time. Caity sighed.

"I miss this. You know, our Camp Rock days?" I smiled.

"Yea, me too. Those were awesome."

"We need to do something like that again. You know, just us hanging out without the rest of the world barging in." I nodded.

"One day."

The next day, my license came, which made me really excited. And the day after, Joe surprised me with something.

"Jael, there's something waiting for you outside."

"What?"

"Just come see." Joe, me, Demi, Nick, Kevin, and Miley walked outside. When I saw what was right in front of me, my mouth dropped.

"Oh. My. God." He got me a car. It was the prettiest car I have ever seen. "Holy shit." They all laughed. "You guys are joking right?"

"It's yours." Joe said.

"No it's not."

"Yea, it is."

"No, it's not." A smile grew on my face.

"Why don't you take it for a spin."

"No. It's so shiny, I don't want to get it dirty." They all bust out laughing. "I can't believe you got me a car."

"Jael, if you don't get in that car and drive, I will." Miley said. I slowly walked towards it and opened the door. Even inside was pretty. Without realizing it, my eyes started to water.

"I can't believe you guys got me a car." I turned to them and they laughed when they saw me crying. I place both hands over my mouth cause I was still in shock. "I can't drive it. What if it crashes?"

"Then don't crash it." I sighed.

"Okay, umm, everybody in the car. And if you don't fit, find a way to." I got in the drivers seat and just stared at everything. I closed the door and put my seatbelt on, adjusted the mirrors and looked around me. The keys were already in the ignition.

When everyone was seated, I took a deep breath and started the car.

"Joe?" I said as I reversed out of the house.

"Yea?"

"I love you." He laughed.

"I love you too."

I drove around the neighborhood and then to the gas station to make sure I knew how to put gas in the car. Joe told me what to do and when I got it, I drove back to the house. When we got out, I took a picture of it for twitter, then walked inside.

_LOOK AT MY CAR! Isn't it beautiful? I can't believe I have a car. And my license. This is so surreal, I love it :)_

The time came and passed and I was now getting ready for my first day of shoot. Nick called me yesterday and told me that I didn't have to get there till nine in the morning. Demi and Miley left and even though Demi said she was fine, I could tell she was still a little sad.

I was looking in my closet on what to wear, not really making it anything special since I would have to change into their wardrobe.

I decided on these random jeans, a white baggy dress that went up to my knees, my TOOL pullover hoodie, and Doc Martens.

As I was changing, Joe knocked and came in.

"Hey, is it okay if Chelsea comes over?"

"The one I met at Demi's party?" He nodded. "Yea, sure. When is she coming?"

"I think in ten minutes."

"Okay." I said as I pulled my jeans on. After that, Joe pulled me on top of his lap as he sat on the bed. I laughed and gave him a kiss. "I have to finish getting ready."

"Can't you wait for a few minutes?" He asked as I rested the back of my head on his shoulder and looked in his eyes.

"Maybe just a few minutes." He laughed and kissed me again.

"You excited?"

"Yea." After a few minutes of just talking, the doorbell rang. As Joe went to go get it, I put my hoodie and shoes on, then went downstairs. "Chelsea!" I screamed and she turned to me and smiled. I ran to her and gave her a hug.

"Jael! How are you?"

"I'm good, how are you?"

"Great! I can't believe we still haven't hung out yet."

"I know. I'm gonna be really busy for a while and I know you guys have to start shooting in a couple days, but hopefully sometime between or after all that we can." She agreed. "Well, I have to go now. But I'll see you guys in a couple hours. Joe have you seen my bag?"

"Yea, I think it's on the couch in the living room."

"Kay, thanks." I quickly grabbed it then went back to them. I gave Joe a kiss and a hug, then gave Chelsea a hug too. "Bye guys. Wish me luck."

"Good luck!" Chelsea said and I laughed. I got in my car, still shocked that I actually had my own, and put my bag in the front seat. I was so nervous as I was driving there, I decided to call the director, Nick.

"Dude, I'm so nervous!" He laughed.

"_Are you on your way?"_

"Yes, but I think I'm gonna get in a car accident and I just got my car yesterday."

"_Just relax. Everybody's excited to meet you."_

"Liar."

"_I'm not. And I have a surprise when you come."_

"What is it?"

"_That's why it's called a surprise, Jael. And when you come, find my trailer. See you soon."_

I got even more nervous. When I arrived, I grabbed my bag and stepped out of the car. I locked it then walked to the trailers and looked for the one that said 'Nick Cassavetes'. I knocked on the door and when I heard 'come in' I walked in.

"Jael, you're here." He said and I gave him a hug.

"Do you know how nervous I am?" He laughed.

"Just relax. I'll text Thomas to come in."

"Do you have to?"

"If you would like to do this movie, then yes." I nodded. "Come on, let me show you your trailer." I followed him to it. It was right in front of Thomas' and next to Abigail Breslin's. He unlocked it for me and handed me the key, then we stepped in. There was a couch to the wall on the left side, a TV, a desk with a huge mirror hanging above it, and a bathroom. On the wall to the right side of the couch, there was a bowl chair and next to the TV was a fridge.

"Is there anything in the fridge?"

"Water, sprite, and lime popsicles. A looooot of lime popsicles." I laughed.

"Okay." There was a knock on the door and I gasped. "Who is it?" I whispered and Nick smiled.

"Come in." I held my breath when I saw Thomas walk in.

"Hey." He said and smiled. "I'm Thomas." He stuck his hand out and I shook it.

"Jael." I smiled back and just…couldn't look away.

"So…" Nick said and I blinked and looked at him, letting go of Thomas' hand. "I already told Thomas this. I asked him to take you out so you can get to know each other since he's gonna be your boyfriend in the movie. Is that okay?"

"Wh-yes!" They both laughed.

"Good."

"Awesome, so I'll just go grab a couple things from my trailer, and I'll be right back." Thomas said.

"Okay." I said and he left. "Nick, I love you." He smiled.

"I know. Come on. Let me introduce you to the other cast."

Nick took me to the hair and make up trailer where everyone else was. I met Cameron Diaz, Alec Baldwin, Abigail Breslin, Jason Patric, Evan Ellingson, and Heather Wahlquist. They were all so sweet and nice and Alec was being hilarious. Brian, my hairstylist I met before, and Audrey, the make up artist and clothes stylist I met before, were there and I gave them both a hug. Nick reminded me to go back to my trailer to wait for Thomas. I told everyone I would see them later and went back.

As soon as I closed the door, Thomas knocked on it and came in.

"Ready?"

"Yea." I grabbed my bag and followed him to his car. "So where're we going?" I asked as I got in the front seat.

"I don't know. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't really care."

"There's this place I go to sometimes. It's kind of like starbucks but they sell tea too. It's pretty cool and relaxing. How about that?"

"Sure." As we were driving, I took my phone out for twitter.

_Going on a date with Thomas Dekker. Holy Shit. Holy Shit. Holy Shit._

"So, Nick made us come out here to get to know each other. What type of music do you listen to?" He asked me.

"A lot. Some indie, grunge, rock is a wide variety so a bunch of stuff in that." I shrugged. "Just a bunch of stuff. You?"

"The same, I guess."

"You do realize I'm kind of freaking out right now, right?" He laughed.

"Yea, I have that effect on people sometimes." I laughed too. "So, not to be a jerk or anything, but have you seen anything I've acted in?"

"Yea. I watch Heroes and Terminator. And I saw you in From Within."

"You watch Terminator?"

"Yea, I love that show. Why?" I asked.

"Cause a lot of people don't or haven't heard of it."

"Well then they're missing out on a badass John Connor." He laughed.

We finally got to the tea place. I ordered an iced tea and Thomas ordered a coffee, then we went to go sit down at a booth. We both got to know each other really well. Thomas was really funny and I still couldn't believe this was happening. We took a few pictures and Polaroid's, then after a couple hours, we decided to go back to set.

When we were walking back to the trailers, we saw a paper on both of our trailers saying to go somewhere where everyone else was. When we walked there, Abigail was reading something and talking into a mic. When Nick saw us, he called us over.

"You can stop now, Abby." He told her and turned to us. "Right now, we're recording the very first scene of the movie where it's just Abby talking and there'll be scenes of when you and her were kids." I nodded. "Tomorrow, you two will start filming. Thomas, are you sure you want to shave your head and eyebrows?"

"Yes."

"Okay, go to the hair and make up trailer. They have everything set up."

"Okay. Jael, wanna come?" Thomas asked me.

"Sure."

We walked to the trailer and Thomas sat in the chair. Brian had everything set up on the desk thing that was in front of Thomas.

"Wait, I want to take a before and after picture." I said and took my camera out of my bag. When I took the picture, I looked at it, making sure it was fine, and smiled at the results. "Okay, go ahead."

As Brian was shaving Thomas' head, I was recording it.

"Come on, Jael. You know I get nervous under the spotlight!" Thomas joked and I laughed.

"Oh, come on. Live a little!" I joked. "Tell the camera what's happening. I'm gonna post this on my youtube."

"Well hello there youtubers. I am Thomas Dekker, talking on Jael's camera. Right now we are in the hair and make up trailer, and currently, I am being shaved for this movie." I laughed at his choice of words.

"He's getting his head and eyebrows shaved, not the other thing." I clarified and he and Brian started laughing. "Thomas, are you nervous?"

"For?"

"Getting bald?"

"I don't know. I know this movie is gonna be good so no. Are you?"

"Kind of. This is the first thing I've ever acted in. I'm shaving my head and eyebrows. And I'm playing the girlfriend of Thomas Dekker, who is very hot." He nodded, agreeing with me and I laughed. "Speaking of getting my head and eyebrows shaved, when is that?"

"Tomorrow." Brian said.

"Okay." Thomas was now completely bald. "I'm gonna end this video now and keep Thomas eyebrow-less a surprise. You look hot bald, by the way."

"Thanks." He said and smiled. I laughed and stopped the video.

"Thomas, do you want to shave your eyebrows now or wait till tomorrow?" Brian asked him.

"I think I'll wait till tomorrow. Don't wanna scare the neighbors. He replied and Brian and I laughed.

"Jael, tomorrow when we shave your head, we're gonna do it a bit at a time. Remember in the script when your character was getting chemo?" I nodded. "In that scene, you have spots with hair and spots without so it's like it's falling out so we're just gonna do it like that. And don't worry, we'll do it in an organized way so it'll still be made into a wig."

"Okay. Thanks, Brian."

"Of course. And don't forget to take the after picture of Thomas." I smiled.

"Right." I turned my camera on. "Ready, Thomas?"

"Yupp." I took the picture then turned off the camera.

"I'll be right back, guys." Brian said and left. A few minutes later, Nick and the rest of the cast walked in.

"Wow, Thomas. Lookin' good!" Cameron said and we all laughed.

"Okay, so, I hate to ruin everyone's day, but we have an early wake up call tomorrow. Everyone has to be here by five, six at the latest. Don't worry, we'll have coffee, redbull, donuts, and all that good stuff so you can just come straight here."

"Does it _have _to be so early?" I asked.

"Yes. It's your first movie. You have to get used to the early wake up calls."

"Can I just come in my PJ's since I'll be changing into the movie clothes?"

"Sure."

"Sweet." They laughed again.

"Okay, just remember, today is the only day out of this whole filming process where you get to leave early. So take it all in," We all breathed in and exhaled. "And scram. See you at 5." I smiled, grabbed my bag and walked out of the trailer. Thomas and I walked to ours. He went in his and I went in mine. I noticed there was an empty bulletin board on the wall above the bowl chair.

I made a self-reminder: when I come tomorrow, bring thumbtacks to hang pictures on the bulletin board.

Before I left, I grabbed a lime popsicle and walked to my car. As I was walking there, Thomas caught up.

"Hey," He said. "You need a ride?"

"Uhh, no. I have a car." He nodded.

"I had about 5 of those."

"Cars?"

"No, popsicles." I laughed.

"Oh. Nick was right. Everybody loves these." Thomas took the popsicle out of my hand, took a huge bite out of it, and gave it back. "Hey!" I said and we both laughed. We got to our cars. "See you tomorrow, Thomas." I said and gave him a hug.

I got in my car and put the bag in the passenger seat. I drove out of the set and when I came to my first traffic light, I checked my twitter on my phone.

_Met the cast. Hung out with Thomas for a few hours. Can't wait till tomorrow when the real filming starts(:_

A few minutes later, my phone rang.

"Hello?" I said.

"_Hey, how was it?"_ It was Joe.

"Good. The cast was really nice. And Nick made Thomas take me out and he's really cool."

"_That's good. What time is your wake up call?"_

"I have to be there at five, six the latest." I said and groaned and Joe laughed.

"_Well that's not too bad."_

"Yea, for you!"

"_Just wait for it to be three and four am."_

"Great." He laughed.

"_How long till you get here?"_

"Umm, like five/ten minutes. Is Chelsea still there?"

"_No, she left about an hour ago. Turns out we start filming in two days."_

"In LA?" I asked.

"_Yea but I don't know if we'll be able to see each other as often since we're both working, have different wake up calls and times we get back."_

"Yea, it's gonna suck. But hopefully we'll see each other sometime between all that."

"_Yea. Have you talked to Evan, Jesse, and Matt, yet?"_

"No, not yet."

_ "They called me and said they wanted to see you since it's been a while."_

"Really? I guess I should just head over right now. I'll give them a call."

"_Okay. I'll see you in a bit."_

"Alright, bye." I hung up the phone and dialed Jesse's number. I asked them if it would be okay if I came over now and they said yes and that Brad was there too.

When I got there, Caity was there too. I gave all of them a hug and sat down on the couch. I told them how today was and Caity was pretty much freaking out the whole time.

"Can I meet him?" She asked me.

"Sure. Come to set one day and I'll introduce you guys." We talked a bit more and I noticed Caity and Matt were doing really good. And honestly, I haven't seen Matt or Caity this happy in a while.

"Okay, so, I have good news." Brad said. "I talked to Warner about your band name and it's not taken, so it's all yours."

"Awesome!" Jesse said. "When do we hit the studio?"

"Whenever Jael's free." Brad said.

"Well, how about you guys just go and get the music done and whenever I'm done shooting or I'm off that day, I'll go or we all can if you want and I can sing the songs."

"But won't you be tired? Especially if you're filming till like, three in the morning." Evan said.

"Yea, but we gotta get this thing done, right? I don't mind and plus, the faster we get this album done, the more we can plan for tour and stuff. And we still have to do the photo shoot for it too and think of an album name." I sat back on the couch and sighed.

"Since your really busy," Matt said. "You can give us the lyrics to the songs that will be on our album and we can think of a title and album name."

"You wouldn't mind?" I asked and they said no. "You guys are awesome." I stood up. "Well, I got to go. I'm tired and have to get up at five in the morning."

"Fun." Caity said sarcastically and they all stood up.

"Yea. Oh, you guys didn't see my new car yet." I reminded them. "Come on." We all went outside and walked to it.

"Damn!" Caity said.

"Shit, dude!" Matt said after and I laughed.

"I know, right? I can't get over it! This is the only good thing about waking up so early." They laughed too. "Okay, so I'll see you guys later. I'll try and come over tomorrow so I can give you the songs." I gave them all a hug.

I got into the car and drove back to the house. When I walked in, I gave Joe a kiss and we both went upstairs. I quickly took a shower and changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt then went to Joe's room. I set my alarm on my phone and put it under my pillow so it wouldn't wake Joe, then fell asleep next to him.


	23. No More Hair

The next morning when I woke up, I quietly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I didn't take a shower since I took one last night and since I told them I would come in my PJ's, when I got out of the bathroom, I just fixed my hair a little, put a black beanie on, grabbed my hoodie, bag [with laptop in it], and shoes, then left without putting either on.

When I got in my car, I put my things in the passenger seat. I started the car and put the heat on cause it was a little chilly. I took my glasses out of my bag and put them on and grabbed my phone and left it on my lap. When I got to a stoplight, I got on my twitter.

_Early wake up call. Super tired. Driving to set right now with only socks, PJ's, and my beanie on._

I took a picture of myself and posted it on twitter.

_No make up, nerdy glasses, and the last time you'll see me with hair for a while._

As I was driving, I got a text from Nick saying to meet him in his trailer. When I got to set, I parked and noticed all the trailers were in a line, each one connected to a truck. I went to Nick's trailer, which was all the way up front, and knocked on the door then walked in.

"Morning Nick." I said.

"Hey, Jael."

"What's up with all the trailers?" I asked.

"We're taking them to set. I forgot to explain this to you, we take the trailers to every set we have."

"Are you driving any of the trucks that are taking them?" He snorted.

"No. Trust me, you don't want me driving those. Nice glasses, by the way."

"Thanks. So do I just follow the trailers in my car?"

"Yea, I guess. Or we can connect it to one of the trailers."

"You see, I would do that. But it's brand new and I don't want to risk it." He laughed.

"Okay. And no, I'm not gonna ask why you're not wearing shoes." He said as we walked out and I laughed.

I got in my car and followed Nick to the hospital. When we got there, I grabbed my things, then went inside. Nick showed the lady at the front desk something, I'm guessing to let him in since we were doing the movie, and I followed him to where Audrey and Brian were.

"Hey guys," I gave them both a hug.

"Why aren't you wearing shoes?" Audrey asked and laughed.

"I didn't feel like putting them on." I said and shrugged. "Where is everybody?" I asked as I put my things on a chair. I took my glasses off and put them in its case.

"Cafeteria." Brian said. "Just go to the elevators down the hall and go on the first floor, and there should be signs of how to get there. If not, just ask the lady at the front desk."

"Okay, see you guys in a bit."

I did what Brian told me to do and in about 2 minutes, I was walking into the cafeteria. I saw Cameron and Thomas sitting at a table. I went over to them and gave them both a hug and sat down next to Thomas.

"You were serious when you said you would come in your PJ's." Thomas said and they laughed.

"Of course I was."

We all talked and drank some coffee and Thomas and Cameron had breakfast. Since we only had a certain amount of time for breakfast, when it was over, we went to where Brian, Nick, and Audrey were. They shaved Thomas' eyebrows off and I got ready so they could shave my head and eyebrows. Audrey told me to change into my scene clothes first so I did. When I finished, I went back in the room they were in and sat on the chair.

"You ready, Jael?" Brian asked as he put the thing around my neck so I didn't get hair all over my clothes.

"Of course not, but let's do this."

"Like I said before, in the scene you will be acting in, only a section of your hair will be gone and your eyebrows." I nodded. "I'm gonna label each part of your hair that I'm shaving off so when it's made into a wig, it'll be exactly like how it is on your head."

"Okay."

"And then Audrey will do your make up right after."

"Alright. Will you be the one making it into a wig?"

"I'll be one of two. Later on, someone else will be coming to help me." I nodded. "Ready?" I sighed and nodded.

"Go for it."

By the time Brian shaved the part of my head that needed to be shaved and my eyebrows, and Audrey did my make up, I looked in the mirror and got so sad that people actually had to go through this. A couple minutes later, Nick came in and I followed him to where we would be filming today.

Filming was a lot more difficult than I thought. Before we started, I read my lines and of course, I forgot it a few times and everybody laughed, but I eventually got it down. Basically what would happen was, once we shot the scene a million times, we would have to do it again at a different angle, and basically that's how it was for the next few hours. During my lunch break, since I didn't feel like eating, I let Brian shave the rest of my head so he could get started on the wig faster.

When he was done, I asked Audrey to draw on my eyebrows so I could go visit the other patients.

"Are you naturally a brunette?" She asked me.

"No, I'm a redhead." She nodded and found a good colour eyeliner to draw on me. When she was done, I looked in the mirror and it looked pretty good. I grabbed my beanie and put it on, then started walking around. I took my phone out to update my twitter.

_Lunch break even though it's 3:30. Walking around the hospital. Hope I don't get lost :|_

I talked to a few patients. They were all kids and very sweet and adorable. It honestly made me question why God would make them go through something like this. When I decided to go down to the cafeteria, I turned around and saw someone. It was a patient sitting in a hospital room. She had to be around eight years old. I walked towards the door and knocked, then opened it.

"Hi," She said.

"Hello," I said and smiled as I closed the door. "I'm Jael."

"You're one of the people in the movie they're filming here, right?"

"Yea, I am. What's your name?"

"Charlotte. But you can call me Charlie."

"That's a very pretty name. I've always loved the name Charlotte." I said as I sat on her bed. Charlie had short, straight black hair with front bangs, big blue eyes, and the most innocent face I have ever seen. "So, what do you have?"

"Leukemia. I've had it for a while now."

"I'm playing a girl who has leukemia in the movie. I know this is a stupid question, but is it really hard? To deal with, I mean?"

"Yea, sometimes. There are days where you feel like crap and then other days where you think you're getting better. But the true answer is you're always getting worse. No matter how you feel."

"How old are you?"

"I'm turning eight in a couple months."

"You're very mature. Your mother must have taught you well."

"I don't have a mom. I lived in a foster home all my life. And when they noticed I was sick, they brought me here and just left me for the government to take care of. I have nobody." I was shocked.

"No friends, nothing?" She shook her head.

"My nurse is the only person I talk to. And even then, she has other patients to take care of so she can't stay with me all day."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. I've gotten used to the fact that nobody is coming for me."

"Do you know when they're getting rid of the tumor?" I asked her.

"They've already done everything they could do. This is it. I'm dying." I felt something in my heart and my eyes began to tear.

"How can you be so okay with it?" She shrugged.

"How bad can it be? I'm only seven, it's not like I've done any wrong in my life that would give me reason to go to hell or whatever."

"So you believe there's something out there? God?"

"I do because I have nothing else. If I didn't have God then I would've asked the doctors to kill me already. I'm not afraid for what's next. I'm ready." I wish I had the strength she did. And her passion for God too. "So what's your story?"

"I don't know if you'll be able to handle it."

"Is it worse than mine?" She asked.

"You have Cancer, I don't know if it can get worse. But it's pretty bad."

"Then go for it. But if it's too much trouble to talk about, you don't have to."

"No, I will. But I'm gonna start crying."

"It's okay. I cry a lot too." I smiled and sat cross-legged on the bed.

"When I was around ten or eleven, my dad lost his job that he's been working with for more than twenty years, and instead of finding another one, he decided to stay home all day and drink beer after beer. My mom was my best friend. We've been close all my life and my dad started abusing us. I would always try and protect her and she would try and protect me. And everyday, the beatings just got worse and worse. He would hit me more than my mom and one day when I was twelve, he raped me." Charlie's mouth dropped open.

"One of my best friends, his name is Jesse, him and his mom were the only ones who knew, at first, what my dad did to us and every time it got really bad, we would stay at his house because he lived right across from us." I had already started crying. "When I was fifteen, my mom got really sick. And I didn't have the money to take her to the hospital so I just left her at home and took care of her as best as I could. She got worse every day and she lost so much weight, she wouldn't eat or drink anything, couldn't even walk to go to the bathroom. And ever since I knew it was really serious, I got jobs and worked my butt off trying to raise enough money to take her but it wasn't even enough to pay for the ambulance to come get her. And one day, she told me to forget it because we both knew that I couldn't get enough money soon. So then I decided to save the money for a place my mom and I could move to."

"So then my mom told me to stop that too because she just got weaker and weaker and even if I did get enough money for a place, I wouldn't be able to pay the bills. So instead, I heard about this camp that I could go to, and I still couldn't afford it. So I called them and asked if there was any way I could have a discount, and they said I could help in the kitchen. But I didn't care so I took that offer. I told my mom about it and said that I didn't have to go for her but she encouraged me to and have fun. But I wasn't gonna leave her in the hands of my father, and we moved a lot, we were in New York but in a different location than before and we were close with our neighbors so I asked them if they wouldn't mind watching her till camp was over, and they said yes."

"While I was gone, I would call my mom almost every day and I became friends with a few people there, and when the camp was almost over, I was really excited to go back to my mom, but a few days before the last day, my neighbors called me and said she died in her sleep. And I was so heart broken, I couldn't eat or sleep, and I just…was basically not even there. My friends tried helping me but there was nothing they could do. But a few weeks later, my neighbors set up my mom's funeral. When I went, there was this man there that looked very familiar but I had no idea who he was. So later on after the funeral, it was me, my neighbor, my boyfriend, and two of my friends, we went to my neighbors house and in the room my mom was staying in, I found a letter under her pillow that was for me. And it told me that my dad wasn't really my dad. My mom married him when she was pregnant with me. My real dad was actually the guy at the funeral that looked familiar. The next day, it was really early in the morning, I walked to my moms grave and when I was about to leave, my real dad came. I asked him if we could talk, and he said he couldn't because he had to go back to Scotland, where he's from, because he had a family there with two little girls."

"Wow." Charlie said. "I'm really sorry." I smiled.

"Don't be."

"How are you now?"

"You know, a lot of people would think since I don't have that life anymore, I'm happy and I can just put my past behind and move on, but honestly, I can't. I just," I looked up at the wall behind Charlie as my eyes watered again. "I still don't know why my mom had to die and I didn't. Why my real father didn't come back for me and…I don't know. I'm not okay. I'm just not. And most of the time when I seem happy, it's just a fake smile for the cameras." Charlie sat up on her knees and moved closer to me and wiped the tears that had fallen with her little hands.

"He's a very stupid man if he ever comes back." I smiled.

"I agree with you on that." There was a knock on the door. "Come in." I said and Thomas walked in.

"Hey, umm, Nick is calling you back." Thomas said.

"Okay. I'll be right there." He nodded and left, closing the door after him.

"He's really cute." Charlie said and I laughed. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"No, he's not. But he is very handsome, indeed." I gave her a hug. "I'll come by later, okay?"

"Okay." I walked out of the room, thinking how when Thomas knocked on the door was very good timing to when I finished telling Charlie my story.

I walked over to where we were filming before. Nick was behind the camera, watching what we had filmed. Cameron and Thomas were watching it too so I stood beside them, watching as well.

"Watching me act is weird." I said.

"You did a good job, though."

"Thank you. So when do I get to kiss Thomas?" They all laughed and Thomas wrapped his arm around my shoulders as I did around his waist.

"Well, tomorrow we're filming the scene where you guys first meet. And then after that, that will be kind of a fun day for everybody. Well, mainly you and Thomas. That day, we're just gonna film you and Thomas hanging out. It'll be like a collage of scenes. And you guys will take a bunch of pictures together, and actually, you guys will get to kiss that day."

"Yes!" I said and raised my arms in the air and they laughed again.

"And the day after that, that'll be the day where you guys have your first date/kiss type thing."

"I get to kiss him twice?" I yelled and I don't think I've ever seen Cameron laugh so hard. Thomas and Nick were laughing too but not as much. I laughed at how much they were laughing. "I'm leaving now." I walked to the cafeteria after grabbing my laptop from my bag. I got some fries and sprite, then took a seat at an empty table by the wall next to a window.

I opened my laptop and decided to make a video for the fans.

"Hey everybody," I said after I started recording. "I know you all are wondering why I'm wearing a beanie, why I look bald, and how come my eyebrows are drawn on. Well, I am currently on set filming a movie. I play a girl with cancer, that's all I'm saying, and I just wanted to update you guys. Yes, I really did shave my head and eyebrows but the hairstylist, Brian, is making it into a wig and after we're done with the movie, we will donate it to the hospital. Right now, I am in the cafeteria eating fries and drinking some sprite and in my set clothes." I stood up to show them what I was wearing then sat back down. "I think we finished filming for the day and I had a blast. I only worked with Thomas Dekker and Cameron Diaz but I did meet the rest of the cast yesterday and they were really cool."

"Thomas did shave his head and eyebrows as well. I actually recorded him being shaved so I will post that after this for you guys to check out." I took a bite of one of the fries. "I hope you guys really enjoy this movie. It's based off a book that I read and cried so much in. I'll see if I can tell you the title of it and if I can, I'll make another video tomorrow or just say it on my twitter. Umm, earlier, I decided to walk around and talk to the other patients here. They're all so sweet and adorable and I don't understand why they would go through such a horrible thing like this. When they finished doing my make up, I felt like complete shit because it's just a terrible thing to go through and I didn't even have the full disease."

"Anyways, I met this girl named Charlotte. She is seven years old and has to be the sweetest and most beautiful child I have ever met. I'll take some pictures with her and post it on my twitter as well. And I can tell you guys my band name now. We are called Flyleaf. And for those of you who don't know, Flyleaf is the dedication page at the end or beginning of a book. I think this title really suits us because every one of our songs is dedicated to someone, whether it's in a good or bad way. Sadly, we have no idea when we're gonna hit the studio to actually record the songs. I'll ask Brad to see because I'm so busy with the movie and stuff, but once I get some more details, I will tell you guys. I hope all of you are having a great day and are excited for this movie and my album. I'll talk to you soon, bye." I posted this video and the one of Thomas getting shaved, then closed my laptop and finished eating as I stared out the window.

A few minutes later, I saw Thomas walking towards me.

"Hey," He said and sat across from me. "You okay?"

"Yea, why?"

"Just wondering. Who was that girl you were talking to earlier?"

"Her name is Charlotte. She was living in a foster home all her life and when they found out she had cancer, they just left her in the hospital for the government to deal with. She's sweet, though. I really like her." He nodded. He stole a couple fries from my plate and took a sip of my soda. "Why do you always steal my food?"

"It's tradition." I couldn't help but to smile. It was quiet for a couple minutes.

"So," I began. "How much did you hear?" He looked at me.

"All of it." I nodded and looked down. "You can trust me, though. I won't tell anybody or hold it against you or anything. I promise."

"Thanks, Thomas." Even though I wasn't even halfway done my fries or drink, I wasn't really hungry any more so I threw them away. I grabbed my laptop and Thomas and I went back up. Nick said since we were done for the day, we could go home whenever we wanted. I grabbed all my things and went to Charlie's room.

"Hey Charlie," I said.

"Are you leaving?" She asked me.

"Not yet. I wanted to see you first."

"Are you coming back tomorrow?"

"Yup. We're filming another scene here and I know we'll come back after that for a few other ones."

"Okay."

"Do you mind if I take a couple pictures with you?"

"No, go ahead." I smiled as I took my camera out of my bag. I sat next to her and took a few pictures. We looked at them and they were all really good.

"Okay," I gave her a kiss on the head and got off the bed. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" She nodded. "Bye."

I went to my car and put my things in the passenger seat. I took my phone out and called Joe as I started to drive.

"Hey, Joe."

"_Hey. Did you have fun today?"_

"Yea, it was really cool."

"_You bald yet?"_ I laughed.

"Yea, I am. Tell everyone to be prepared." He laughed too.

"_I will."_

"Are you home right now?"

"_Yea, just got here. You on your way?"_

"Yea."

"_Alright. I'll see you when you get here. I love you."_

"Love you too. Bye." I hung up the phone and made my way to the house. I parked my car in the huge garage, then walked inside the house. I set my things on the couch in the living room when I heard everybody in the kitchen. I went there to see Nick, Kevin, and Joe talking to Garbo and John Taylor.

"Hey guys," I said. They all looked at me and John and Garbo smiled.

"Jael! We haven't seen you in forever." They walked over to me and gave me a hug.

"And you're bald!" John said and I laughed.

"Yea, I am." Joe, Kevin, and Nick walked over to me too. I gave them a hug as well.

"Take your beanie off." Nick said. I slid it off and they smiled.

"Hey, you still look hot so it's all good." Joe said and I laughed.

"Can I touch it?" John asked and I laughed again.

"Sure." I bent my head down and he rubbed it a little.

"Feels weird."

"Can I sign it?" Garbo asked.

"Yea, grab a marker."

They all got different coloured markers and signed my head. We took a bunch of pictures and Polaroid's and after, I decided to upload the pictures onto my laptop and print them. I printed the other pictures from set too and put them in an envelope so I could take them to my trailer and put them on my bulletin board.

I talked with everyone for a while but soon grew really tired and decided to go to bed. I told everyone goodnight, changed into sweats and a t-shirt, put an oversized pullover hoodie on, then went to sleep.

**Just a warning, the story is beginning to change. You'll see next chapter but it won't be stupid or anything, I promise. And I just want to say that I hope Demi feels better soon and will get whatever happened worked out.**


	24. I'm Here For You, Charlotte

I woke up a little confused. I looked at the clock and it said 12:22. That means I only slept for a couple hours. I groaned and rolled over to see that Joe wasn't there. I stayed quiet and heard everybody still downstairs, talking.

I tried going back to bed but I couldn't. About a half hour later, Joe came up.

"Hey," He said quietly. "You okay?"

"Yea. Can't sleep." He sat beside me on the bed.

"Is everything alright?" I nodded.

"Yea. Everything's fine." He kissed my forehead and I sat up. He wrapped his arm around me and I rested my head on his chest. "You don't have to stay up with me. Sleep if you're tired."

"Are you sure?" He asked me.

"Yea." I gave him a kiss and got off the bed. "Did you guys check the mail today?" He shook his head. "I'll go check it. Go to sleep. I'm fine, I promise." I grabbed my beanie and put it on, then grabbed my keys so I could check the mail. When I went outside, I saw a package sitting outside the door with my name on it but I decided to get it on my way back.

When I opened the mailbox, I noticed some paparazzi taking pictures of me but I ignored them. I looked through the mail to see if any was for me but there wasn't, so I just went back through the gates, making sure to lock it. As I walked back towards the entrance, the package was pretty big. I tried lifting it but it was too heavy.

I put the mail on the table inside and went back outside to the paparazzi. I went on the other side of the gate where they were.

"Hey guys." I said and they all greeted me back as they took pictures. "Does one of you mind doing me a favour?"

"What do you need?" One of them asked.

"There's a package in front of my door but it's too heavy. I was wondering if one of you could help me take it in?"

"Sure." He was about to walk through the gates when I stopped him.

"Put the camera down." He smiled like he was trying to see if I would notice then gave it to one of his buddies. He followed me inside after I locked the gate again. He lifted the box like it was a piece of cake and I told him to set it in the living room next to the couch. "Thanks."

"No problem." I followed him out, letting him out of the gate, and locking it after.

"Don't we get to see your shaved head?" Another one of them asked.

"Maybe another time." I smiled and waved at them then went back inside.

I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and went to the living room where the box was. I sat on the couch and opened the box where the tape was. Once it was opened, I looked inside and saw a bunch of journals and notebooks with an envelope on top. I took the envelope out and opened it. It was a letter from Carey.

_Dear Jael,_

_It's Carey. Bill and I miss you so much and hope you're doing well. One day when Bill wasn't home, I decided to go to Josh's house to talk to him. I knew if you were here you wouldn't let me but this is something I had to do._

_He explained to me everything how he wasn't your real father and that the man, Luke, who was at the funeral, is. I'm really sorry, sweetie. I wish I could write this letter to tell you that he went to rehab and turned his life around, but he hasn't. From what I can tell, he's just gotten more miserable._

_But he let me go through your mother's things. I was going to send you everything all together but I knew you would want these. They're your mother's journals from a long time ago. I haven't read them but I can tell from how worn out they are that they're old. I found the last one in the room she was staying in at my house. All I know is that she never stopped writing. And I hope you don't either._

_I will send everything else once I'm done going through them. Good luck with everything that's happening. I hope you're happy._

_Carey_

I wiped the few tears that had fallen and took the first notebook out. The first date was February 26, 1991. I was shocked how torn the notebook was. Surprisingly, it wasn't falling off its hinges, but the cover and back was tearing. I read the first passage.

_Wednesday_

_February 26, 1991_

_10:15 PM._

_ I haven't written in a notebook in a while. The last time I remember doing it was when I was in the sixth grade. But I just remember feeling like writing would help me clear my thoughts or something._

_Anyways, I can't believe my day today. I don't think I've ever had so much fun in my life. And Luke…*sigh*. He's amazing. Is it weird to say I love him even though we're hardly friends? He just makes me happy._

_ There was this look he gave me and I just…got lost in his eyes whenever I saw it. I wish tonight never ended. But I'm seeing him again tomorrow. He told me that we should ditch all our other friends and fly solo._

_ Hmm…I never imagined myself to be the 'wild type' but I think I like it. I'm getting older…I'm changing._

_ On the plus side, he's from Scotland. I like his voice. It's free. I get the shivers whenever I hear it. What if he asks me out? Should I say yes? I think I will. Mum won't be too proud cause he smokes but she doesn't have to know that._

_I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life. I'm glad things are finally turning around for me._

I smiled throughout the whole entry. The first time my mom met Luke.

_Thursday_

_February 27, 1991_

_11:30 PM._

_Today was even better than yesterday._

_ And I was right! He asked me out and I couldn't just say no, I mean, I would be idiotic if I had. We're going out tomorrow night. He kissed my cheek today too. I think he really might be the one._

_ I know, I hate it when girls say that and then they get their heart broken the next day, but I really feel like we might actually have something._

_ I don't know. I guess we'll just have to see._

I closed the notebook and sighed. I never knew how much Luke meant to her. Maybe reading these would help me see what she saw in him and Josh. And maybe even me too.

I walked to the kitchen with the notebook in my hand. I decided to bake. I remember when I was younger, whenever my mom couldn't sleep or had a lot on her mind, she would bake.

I looked in the pantry and saw Brownie Mix. I took it out and prepared it. While I was waiting for it to finish in the oven, I read the notebook.

_Friday_

_February 28, 1991_

_12:15 AM._

_ It was just the two of us today. We walked around downtown and he was so protective of me. He had his arm around me the whole time and when it got cold, he gave me his jacket._

_ When he drove me home, before I went inside, he kissed me. And we made plans to hang out again tomorrow._

_ God, he's just so amazing!_

_ I still have his jacket and I can't take it off. He smells like cigarettes and coffee but there's something else in it that just makes me melt._

_ I probably won't be able to sleep tonight. But it's okay._

When the oven finished, I took the brownies out for them to cool. I looked at the time and it was already three. Since my wake up call was in about an hour, I figured I would just stay up. I didn't know what I would do with the brownies so I decided to keep these here and make more for the cast when I would go to work.

When I was done, I put the ones for the cast in a container and ate a couple that was for everybody else. I found a pen and a post-it pad in one of the drawers and wrote:

_Eat! I made them so they're delicious._

_Nick, I'll kick your ass if you tell me they suck cause I had two and they're AMAZING!_

_-Jael_

And stuck it on the plate. I went back to the living room and continued reading my moms notebook. About an hour later, I decided to get ready. I showered and wore sweatpants and a t-shirt with my converses and my beanie. I grabbed my bag and the container of brownies then drove to the hospital.

When I got there, I got coffee from the cafeteria then went to Charlotte's room. I looked through the window to make sure she was awake before I opened the door.

"Hey, good morning." She smiled when she saw me.

"Hi," I gave her a hug and a kiss on the side of her head. I set my bag on the chair in the corner of the room then sat in front of her on the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay. Not as good as yesterday, though." I could tell she looked a littler sicker. "What's in the container on the chair?"

"Brownies. You want one?" She sighed.

"Maybe later. I'm not that hungry right now. Can you save me one?" I smiled.

"Sure." There was a knock on the door. I turned my head and saw Thomas through the window. I signaled my hand for him to come in and he opened the door. "Hey, Thomas. Come on over." He closed the door and walked over to us.

"Hi, I'm Thomas." He stuck his hand out for Charlie to shake.

"Charlotte." He smiled and looked at me. I gave him a hug.

"Is anybody else here?"

"Ellia, Brian, Audrey, and Nick." I nodded. "I smell brownies." Charlie and I laughed.

"I made some. They're over there." I pointed to the chair. "They're for everybody." He walked over to them and picked the container up. "You can let everyone have some but save a couple for Charlie."

"Alright. See you guys later." When he closed the door, I turned back to her.

"So," She began. "You look like you haven't slept all night."

"I haven't."

"Why not?" I shrugged.

"I wasn't that tired. And a package came for me too."

"What was it?"

"My neighbor, Carry, the one that watched my mom while I was at camp," She nodded. "Josh let her go through my mom's things and she found a bunch of her journals. She sent them to me and I've been reading them all night."

"What's in it?"

"I'm only on the first one, but basically, she's just talking about Luke, my real father, and when they first met, the dates they've been on, how happy he makes her, stuff like that."

"Anything dirty?" I laughed.

"No, not yet. That's probably not for another year or so when I'm coming." Charlie smiled.

"How old was she?"

"Sixteen. She was seventeen when she had me."

"What age did she die?"

"Thirty three." Her mouth dropped.

"She was so young!"

"Yea, I know. I miss her a lot." It was quiet for a bit. "Well, I think I should go now." I could tell she got a little sad. "Tell you what, I'll ask the director, Nick, if you can come watch us and if he says yes, I'll come get you, okay?" She smiled.

"Yea, okay." I smiled.

"Alright." I gave her a hug. "See you in a bit." I threw out my empty coffee cup, grabbed my bag and went up to where everyone else was. I saw Brian, Audrey, Nick, Cameron, and Thomas eating my brownies. "Morning, guys."

"Morning." Nick replied with his mouth full. I laughed and gave everyone a hug then set my bag on an empty chair.

"Jael, I laid out your clothes over there," Audrey said. "And once you get changed, I'll do your make up and we can get started."

"Okay." I grabbed my clothes and went to an empty room to change. When I walked back to everyone else, the container of brownies was closed and on top of my bag, and Thomas and Cameron were changed into their set clothes. Audrey was doing Cameron's make up and after she was done, she did a little touch up to Thomas' face, then it was my turn. I sat on the chair and when she was done doing my make up and drawing on my eyebrows, Brian got the wig I would be wearing today and smiled.

"What do you think?" He asked me, showing me the wig.

"What-is that my hair?" I asked and a smile grew on my face as he nodded. "Shut up!" He laughed. "Am I wearing it for this scene?"

"Yea."

"Thank you for doing this." I gave him a hug.

"You're welcome. Sit down so I can put it on you." I sat down and waited eagerly for him to put the wig on. When he finished, I stood up and looked in the mirror. It looked exactly like it did before I shaved my head.

"Brian, I love you."

I explained to Nick who Charlotte was and if it was okay for her to watch us film and he said yes. I went down to get her and when I brought her back up, everyone introduced themselves to her. Charlie took a seat on a chair and watched as we did the scene. During our lunch break, Thomas, Cameron, Charlie, and I went down to the cafeteria. We all had another brownie and Charlie ate hers and we just talked till break was over.

The next month had passed and Thomas was done his scenes for the movie so he didn't have to come to set anymore. My bulletin board in my trailer was _filled_ with pictures. It had all the cast and crew, Charlie, me with the cast and some pictures when Kiwi, Caity, and the guys came to visit. I had taken a few videos for a little 'behind the scenes sneak peak' for the fans. Brian had to shave my eyebrows more frequently than we both thought because they started to grow a lot faster. I would get my head shaved every week because it would grow pretty fast too.

Whenever I had a day off, Brad would take the guys and I to the recording studio. I haven't recorded any songs yet because the guys needed to record the instruments first and it was a lot more work than we thought.

Throughout this month, even though I was working on the movie and the album, somehow Brad managed to book me a few auditions for other movies.

About a week later when I had another day off, I wore my black beanie, black shorts, a baggie white tank top, and my doc martens. I put all my earrings back on since I had to take them out for the movie, and basically my whole ear had piercings in it. I put all my rings and bracelets on, then met Evan, Matt, and Jesse at their place. Brad called me and told us to meet him at the recording studio.

"Shut up, guys!" I yelled as the guys jokingly yelled at me cause I was a 'bad driver'.

"You just ran past a stop sign!" Matt yelled.

"We're on the highway, there are no stop signs!"

"The fuck is your problem, Jael? Let the old lady cross the street!"

"What old lady?" I screamed. "I'm on the fucking highway! No old lady is dumb enough to cross the highway!"

"Why are you so heartless? You ran over the dog, Jael! A dog! DO YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR GOD'S CREATIONS?"

"MATT, YOU ARE GOING TO GET ME INTO A CAR ACCIDENT! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Evan was laughing hysterically the whole time.

We finally made our way to the recording studio. Surprisingly, we got there a little earlier than planned. Basically, it was designed so we had a whole floor to ourselves. One room was to record drums, the other was for piano, one just for singing, guitar, bass, and then there was one to record the band all together.

"I still can't believe you ran over that dog." Matt muttered right before we reached the door to the singing one. I couldn't help but laugh as I opened it.

"Hey Howard," I said, talking to Howard Benson, our producer. Adam talked to him and Brad and he ended up agreeing on being the producer for our band.

"Hey guys." He said as I put my bag on the table and leaned against it.

We recorded two songs today. It usually takes about 2 hours to completely finish one so by the time we finished it was night. I gave Howard a hug and we left.

The next few days went by fast, a lot faster than I had wished. Thomas came to set a few times and visited us. His eyebrows had already grown back and his hair was growing too.

By now, there was about a week and a half left of shooting. Charlotte's fluctuating sickness hasn't gotten any better and watching her look so fragile just made my heart break. I honestly hope she makes it through this. Even though she knows she won't.

The whole cast and crew made sure this last week of filming was the best. We tried to have so much fun and made a lot of memories. Thomas was filming the second season of Terminator so he couldn't visit as much but he did the last day of set.

"Thomas!" I yelled when I saw him. I ran towards him and gave him a hug.

"Hey Jael." He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You guys filming now?"

"Yea, we're just taking a five minute break."

"What scene are you doing?"

"When I'm in the hospital bed and looking through the scrapbook." He nodded.

"How's Charlotte?"

"She's alright. She's in her room. The doctor's said she couldn't get out of bed today since she did yesterday. But you should come see her later when I go. She misses you."

"Yea, totally. Let me say hello to everyone else first."

"Okay."

He greeted everyone else and they were all happy to see him. We all sat on set, just talking and laughing, even though we knew we were supposed to be working. It was the last day. We didn't want it to end.

Before we had to start filming again, Thomas and I went to Charlotte's room. I knocked on her door and when we walked in and she saw Thomas, she smiled.

"Hey Charlie," He said and gave her a hug and a kiss on the head.

"Hi," She said. It was so cute how she blushed every time she saw him.

"How're you feeling?"

"Okay." She said. They made an announcement over the intercom that all cast members go back to set. I gave Charlie a hug.

"I'll come back after, okay?" She nodded and Thomas gave her another hug as well.

We went back to set and shot for the rest of the day. Realizing that today was the last day hit all of us like a bullet and we went from happy to sad within minutes. This last scene we were filming is the actual last scene in the movie. It's only Cameron and me and we're supposed to be crying but they're actually real tears so when Nick yelled, "Cut!" We didn't stop and everyone else started too.

Mainly the girls like Abigail and Heather, but the guys were sad too. I went to the hair and make up room so I could get the make up taken off me. But after it was done, I changed into my regular clothes and Audrey drew on my eyebrows and did my eye make up a little too. I put on my beanie and Audrey, Brian, and I went back to set and everybody was just talking.

"Guys," Nick said. "We still have the wrap party next weekend. You'll all be able to make it, right?" Everyone said yes.

"This is all so crazy. My first movie and it went by so fast." I said. "Hell, who knows what other movies I'll be doing? I mean, I auditioned for a few." I shrugged. "And plus, I just did a movie with _amazing_ actors and actresses. Sorry if I ruined it, by the way." They laughed.

"You didn't!" Alec said. "You're the main character. I'm sure if you ruined it, Nick would've kicked you off long ago." We laughed.

"True." I said.

We talked for the next couple hours and it was getting pretty late. Of course, the extras already left but they were invited to the wrap party too. Everybody was saying goodbye to each other and honestly, I didn't want this to end.

"Hopefully we'll run into each other at some award show or something." Cameron said and we agreed.

"Hey, I'm gonna go to Charlotte. I'll miss all you guys." I blew them a kiss and walked away.

I knocked on Charlotte's door. When I heard her say 'come in' I walked in and closed it behind me. I took a seat in front of her on the bed, noticing she looked a lot weaker and sicker than when I saw her just a few hours ago.

"Hey," I said with concern in my voice. "Are you okay? You're not looking too good."

"Thanks." She said sarcastically and coughed. "I don't know what happened. I took a nap and when I woke up, I felt like this." She sniffed and tears fell out of her eyes. "I'm scared, Jael."

"No, no, no. Don't say that. You have nothing to be scared about. _Nothing._" I tried hard not to cry. "You are going to be okay, alright? I promise you. You are going to be okay and you'll prove me that when I come back tomorrow to visit you." She shook her head.

"No, don't do that. You don't need to come back just because you feel sorry for me. Just forget it."

"Charlie, listen to me and listen hard. I love you. You are my friend and I am going to take care of you with every living cell in my body." She cried even more. "I know what it feels like to be alone and like complete shit, but I am here for you. If I met you when you didn't have cancer, then I would still talk to you. But this is how it is and I'm glad I met you. As long as I'm alive, I'm not gonna let you die. I can't lose another person in my life. I can't. Look at me." I knew she couldn't see me because her big blue eyes were filled with so much tears, but knowing she was looking at me was good enough. "Don't give up. _Please_ don't give up. I will tell you the truth; you are the only one keeping me alive right now. And I'm not just saying that. I'm so fucking heartless, I'm willing to leave my friends and my boyfriend and everybody I love, but you are keeping me strong. And you are closer to death than I am, so please, don't let go. For me." She nodded.

"Okay." Her voice cracked and it made tears slide down my cheeks. I leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"I'll come first thing tomorrow, all right?" She nodded and wiped her tears.

As I walked out, I bumped into Thomas.

"Hey," He said as I closed the door. "You okay?" He wiped my tears and gave me a hug.

"I don't know. Charlie is feeling a lot worse than before. Emotionally, mentally, and cancer-wise." I said as I pulled away.

"But she seemed fine when we were with her earlier."

"I know. She said she felt like it after she woke up. She thinks I don't care about her and that I'm only talking to her cause I feel sorry for her. I mean, why would she think that? She said she doesn't care anymore and how can she not? She's only seven, is it even possible to feel suicidal at such a young age?" We started walking out to the parking lot.

"I think she just thinks since the movie's over, you won't care about her anymore. You were her only friend, so if you're gone, what's the point, you know?" I nodded.

"So umm, how come you didn't leave yet?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Oh, my car is getting fixed and I took a cab here. I was wondering if I could have a ride back to my hotel?"

"Sure. Come on." We got in my car and drove to the hotel he was staying at.

"Why don't you come inside for a little bit? Who knows when the next time we'll be able to hang out?" I said okay and grabbed my bag, then followed him inside. We walked down the hall to the elevator and Thomas pushed the button. As it opened, a bunch of people walked out so we moved to the side then went in. He pushed the 23rd button and we waited.

"How long are you staying here?" I asked him.

"I don't know, a few weeks. I've been reading a bunch of scripts and going to auditions so that's why I was staying here. And for terminator of course." I nodded. "Then after that's all done, I'm flying back to New York to my loft."

"I can't wait to move to New York." I told him.

"Why don't you?" I shrugged.

"Cause everything's here. My friends, boyfriend, you know? I can't just leave them all behind. But I most definitely will buy a place over there."

"Good. That means we can hang out more." I smiled.

"What kind of scripts are you reading?"

"A bunch of stuff. You know A Nightmare On Elm Street, right?" I nodded. "They're remaking that."

"No way!" He laughed and nodded. "Can I read the script with you?"

"Sure." We walked out the elevator when it finally stopped and to his room.

"Why'd you pick such a high floor?" I asked him as we walked in.

"Cause it's closer to the roof and I like to go there a lot." He locked the door and set the card key down on the counter. "Do you want anything to drink or something?"

"No, I'm okay." We walked to the seats by the window and sat down. I was on one side and he was on the other. "So how are things in the Terminator world? You getting all Christian Bale on people's asses?" He laughed.

"It's good. You should come to set one day to meet Summer and Lena."

"Okay. What'd they do for your hair since it's shorter than last seasons?"

"You know how a lot happened to John Connor during the last episode, right?" I nodded. "Well, they made it so it was sort of a…rebelling thing. You know, shaving the head." I smiled and nodded. "Not completely bald though. Just like how it is now."

"Oh okay." Thomas started fishing for something in his pocket.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" He asked as he pulled a pack out.

"No, go ahead." He put one in his mouth and lit it.

"Do you want one?"

"No, I don't smoke." I said as I smiled.

"Do you want to?" He said slowly and I laughed.

"You are a terrible person."

"Just take a drag so you can be cool like me." He joked and I laughed again.

"You're stupid, you know that?" He leaned over, handing me the cigarette. "I can't believe you're making me do this." I snatched it out of his hand and put it in my mouth. I inhaled, took the cigarette out of my mouth, breathed in, and exhaled and watched as the smoke escaped my lungs.

"So you've smoked before." It wasn't a question.

"Josh was a pretty heavy smoker so I guess I got used to it. My mom did too. Plus, I went to middle school. Long story short-I've smoked." He chuckled as he lit another one and let me keep the one I was holding.

"Do you drink too?" I shrugged.

"Not really. Wine every now and then but I've never had beer." He smiled and stood up.

"Good cause one of my friends makes wine and he has these wine tasting parties and since I'm not in New York right now, I can't help him sell it, but I brought a few bottles with me and I want you to try it." He brought over a bottle and a couple wine glasses.

"Looks like I'm not driving home tonight." He laughed as he pored me some in a glass and handed it to me.

"Aren't you turning 18 this year?" I nodded. "Well, cheers to turning 18." I smiled as we clinked glasses. We both took a sip and I was shocked at how good it was.

"Shit, dude! This is good!" He laughed.

"Isn't it?" I set my cigarette on the ashtray and drank some more.

"What kind is it?"

"Green Apple." I laughed.

"Yea, it does have that sweet taste. It's more of a desert wine but it does taste very good."

"Does Matt, Evan, and Jesse drink or smoke too?"

"Yea. I mean, they don't go overboard or anything, but they do." He nodded.

"So you know how I'm very into photography and stuff?" I nodded. "You want to go to the roof and be a model for me?" I smiled.

"Fine." He smiled all giddy, which made me laugh.

He took the bottle of wine, the two glasses, his pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and the ashtray with the camera around his neck.

"I'm not good at modeling so you're gonna have to tell me what to do." I said as I opened the door to the roof and he shrugged.

"No problem. Just improvise." It was very beautiful out here. The dark sky with the city lights. It made me smile. "Hey don't start yet, I have to get everything ready first." I laughed.

"Oops." We put the wine bottle and the two glasses on the ground and with the ashtray and the pack of cigarettes on the cement railing. I took a cigarette out of his pack and lit it. "Tell me if you want me to take the beanie off, by the way." He nodded as he started to snap photos. I improvised as best as I could but modeling wasn't really something I was good at. "Hey, I'm not gonna be the only one in these photos." I walked next to him and made sure he was in them too.

Basically for the rest of the night, all we did was take pictures, drink wine, and smoke cigarettes. And I didn't mind that at all. I was relaxed for once. My mind wasn't packed with a million things and I felt…happy.

It was probably around four in the morning when we decided to go inside. I had called Joe a while ago and told him I was spending the night at Thomas'.

"Thanks for all this, Thomas." I said to him as we stepped inside his room. "I needed it."

"Yea, no problem. That's what I'm for, right?"

"You mean corrupting under age teenagers?" I joked and we laughed.

"Yea, actually, that's exactly it." I laughed again.

"So can I steal something comfy wear?"

"Well, of course, m'lady." He fished through his things and handed me a white button down shirt and boxers. I thanked him and went to the bathroom to change. Afterwards, I washed my face and just stared at what seemed to be me on the other side. I could tell my hair was starting to grow back but it was still peach fuzz. Since my sleeping has been pretty bad for a while, I had dark bags and my eyes were slightly bloodshot. I wet my face with warm water once more, dried it, then went out. Thomas was lying down on the bed, changed into a t-shirt and boxers. He had the rest of the bottle of wine on his side table and a packet, which looked like a script.

"I'm squeezing in beside you." I said as I hopped on the king sized bed and under the blankets next to him.

"There's no such thing as no cuddling."

"Finally someone who understands me." I said and we both laughed. "What are you reading?"

"A Nightmare On Elm Street." I smiled and scooted closer to him. He laughed as he turned to the first page.

The rest of the night basically consisted of reading the script, drinking the rest of the wine from the bottle, smoking, and laughing our asses off from some of the dialogue that goes on.

We had taken a couple pictures of us and it turned out to be us cheesin', the bottle of wine in Thomas' hand, the script on half his lap, half in mine, a cigarette in the ashtray, that was Thomas' and one in between my fingers.

Without realizing it, we had fallen asleep and woken up around 3 in the afternoon. I rubbed my eyes and sat up, wincing at the pulsing headache I had. I looked over seeing Thomas still asleep. I went to the bathroom and showered, putting on the clothes I had on the day before. When I looked in the mirror, I looked worse than the night before. My bags were more prominent and my eyes were a little pink.

When I walked out, Thomas was already awake.

"Hey," He said. "You okay?" I nodded.

"Yea, I guess." I said as I put my beanie on. I had already drawn on my eyebrows while I was in the bathroom. "My head hurts like a mother, though." He chuckled.

"When are you leaving?"

"I'm gonna head out now cause I have to go visit Charlotte and I haven't seen Joe in like, two days so," Thomas nodded.

"Alright." I sat down on the bed, tying my shoes.

"I'll see you soon, though, okay?" I stood up and grabbed my bag, giving him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I walked out of the building and to my car while taking my phone out of my pocket and calling Joe. I got in the driver's seat and made my way to the hospital. Joe didn't answer his phone. I assumed he was probably shooting so I left him a message.

"Hey, Joe. I just left the hotel and I'm on my way to the hospital to see Charlotte. I'll probably go hang out with Jesse and the guys after or something. See you later tonight. I love you, bye."

When I got to the hospital, I went straight to Charlotte's room. I knocked and when I walked in, I saw her laying on her back with her arms resting on her stomach. Her eyes were closed but when I closed the door, they opened.

"Hey, did I wake you?" I asked and she sniffed.

"No." Her voice was raspy and her eyes were watery. "I was just resting my eyes."

"I'm guessing you're not feeling any better."

"No."

"Did the doctor's tell you anything?"

"This is normal. It happens all the time. It just hasn't been this bad before." I nodded, not really knowing what else to do or say.

"Do you want me to get you anything? Water or something to eat, maybe?"

"Water, please." I nodded.

"Okay, I'll be right back."

I walked out of the room and before I went down to the cafeteria, I went to the bathroom. Thankfully, there was no one in there. I stood in front of the sink and noticed how puffy my eyes had gotten. I rested one hand on my forehead and one on my hip as I turned and sighed out of frustrations and stress. The tears came all over again and I grunted as I kicked one of the stall doors. It banged against the wall inside and slammed shut. I crouched down to my knees and leaned forward, burying my head in my arms trying to let all this anger out of me. But it just wouldn't go.

After a couple minutes, I stood up and walked out of the bathroom while wiping my tears. I made my way to the cafeteria and got the water for Charlie, then went back to her room. We sat and talked for a couple hours but soon she grew tired so I decided to leave. I called Jesse and told him I was coming over.

When I arrived, I went straight up to their floor on knocked on the door. Evan opened the door.

"Hey-you looked terrible." I gave him a look and walked in. "You okay?" I threw my bag on their couch and sighed. He walked to where I was and gave me a hug.

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

"Matt's with Caity and Jesse is in his room." Evan and I walked to Jesse's room. When I heard him let us in, I opened the door and saw him sitting on a chair, doing something on his laptop.

"Hey," He stood up and gave me a hug. Evan and I sat on his bed and he sat back on the chair. "So, what's up? You look like you haven't slept in ages." I shrugged.

"I haven't. My insomnia is kicking in again."

"How was the last day of shooting?"

"Good. Kind of sad, but it was good. We have a wrap party next weekend for the cast so it'll be fun."

"What about Charlotte? Is she getting any better?" I took in a deep breath and shook my head.

"No." My eyes instantly teared up. "She was so depressed yesterday when I saw her and today she was a lot worse. She was really tired so I left but I'm gonna go see her again."

"Don't take this out on yourself, Jael." Evan said. "None of this, none of what's happening to her is your fault."

"I know. But I feel like I'm not trying my hardest to make her better."

"It's cancer. Whatever she's feeling, it's the disease that's making her that way." I knew everything they were saying was right, but something in my mind wasn't letting me believe it.

"Yea," I sighed. "So umm, did you guys finish recording the music for the songs yet?"

"Not yet. It'll be a lot easier now since you'll be with us in the studio, but I think we got most of it done. But you still have to do your piano bits and stuff." I nodded.

"Right."

"So what'd you do yesterday after shooting?" Evan asked.

"I dropped Thomas off at his hotel and ended up spending the night."

"Aww shucks." I laughed and nudged him. "What'd you guys do?"

"Well, you're not gonna believe this, but they're remaking A Nightmare On Elm Street."

"No way!" They both said.

"Yes. I read the script with him, and his friend sells wine back in New York so before he came here, he brought a few bottles and he let me try some, which was really good by the way."

"Gettin' yo drank on!" Evan said and I laughed.

"And then he took some pictures on the roof of the hotel and we smoked some cigarettes. All in all, it was an okay night."

"Gettin' yo smoke on? Hold up," I laughed again because of how he was talking. "You're smoking again?" I shrugged.

"I guess. I mean, I never really stopped. I just took a break while I was at Camp Rock and a little after. But I'm not gonna do it all the time or anything, especially in front of Joe. I know he would get mad." They nodded. "You guys still smoking?"

"Yea." Jesse said. "Evan hasn't in a while, though."

"That's because I'm a good child." I chuckled and Jesse scoffed.

"Yea, you be chuggin dat beer and smokin dat weed, though!"

"Hey, man, don't even bring that up when you know them prostitutes gosta go! They-they gosta go!" They were going at it for about five minutes and I don't think I've laughed this hard in a really long time. They finally stopped and I sighed.

"I love you, guys."

**Super long chapter, I hope you guys liked it. And I don't think I mentioned this before, but I changed it so that Jael is turning 18 instead of 17. Please review. I only got one last chapter and I apologise if it's because I haven't been updating frequently. I hope you guys still read it at least. I'll try and update more and I know I keep saying that but I mean it. Thank you, guys.**


	25. Still Life, Still Alive

Within the next month, the guys and I worked harder than we ever have on our album. Everyday, we would either be at the studio, at a meeting about our music, discussing what the actual album would look like and the art for it, plus the photo shoot.

I tried my best to check on Charlotte every day but she understood on the days I couldn't. My hair had grown back. It was still really short but it was growing pretty fast so I didn't mind. Currently, we had a day off from everything, which we were all thankful for. Joe, Nick, and Kevin were still shooting their show and so was Demi so I rarely get to see them as much.

When I went to the cast party for the movie, they let me have the scrapbook that was made for the movie. I was pretty shocked that they let me of all people have it but I kept it safe and will probably keep it forever just for memories.

I had gone through about two of my mom's journals and I basically cry every time I read an entry. I never understood how much Luke meant to her and I actually saw everything she saw in him. I felt like I was living everything she wrote down just by reading it.

This morning when I woke up, since it was our day off, I went straight to the hospital to see Charlotte.

"Hey." I said when I walked in the room. "How're you feeling?"

"Better, surprisingly." She said as I sat on the bed. "You?"

"Quite the opposite, to be honest. But it's whatever."

"No, it's not. But it is your birthday in a few days."

"Oh yea. I forgot about that. And you remembered?"

"Yes, I did. Are you gonna do anything for it?"

"I don't think so. I mean, everybody's busy. And I'm sure we'll have to work on the album or something so it doesn't matter."

"Well, why don't you just spend it with your friends that aren't busy? Like Caity, Kiwi, and your band. Maybe Thomas too?"

"I don't know. My birthday isn't a big deal. I haven't celebrated it in years so it really doesn't matter." Charlotte sighed.

"Okay, fine." I looked at her and smiled.

"How about I come here for my birthday. And we can spend it together." She looked up at me.

"Really?" I nodded, still smiling. "Okay."

Charlie and I talked for about 45 minutes when her nurse came in and told me she had to take her medicine and have a nap.

"Wait, it's still early. Didn't she just wake up a little before I came?" I asked. I saw Charlotte sigh and look down.

"No, she hasn't slept all night." I looked at Charlotte with confusion in my eyes. "I'm sorry, but you need to go now." I nodded.

"I'll be back to check on you later." I grabbed my bag and walked out of the hospital, wondering why she lied to me. I sighed and got into my car, making my way to Kiwi's place.

When I knocked on his door, it took him a little while to open it.

"Hey," He said, looking shocked to see me, though he gave me a hug anyway. "What're you doing here? Not that I'm not happy you're here. I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." He let me in and we sat on the couch.

"So what's up? You're hair looks good." I chuckled.

"Thanks."

"I'm still not used to you being a redhead."

"Well get used to it. Cause I don't plan on dying it any time soon."

"So why the sudden drop by?" I shrugged.

"I have a day off, why not come see one of my best friends?" He smiled.

"Is everything okay?" I sighed.

"Yea, I guess. Just tired of how much the guys and I've been working."

"But it's gonna be awesome. Do you know when you'll be done?"

"Yea, we pretty much are already. We have one more song to record and a couple other things then its finished."

"Good. So once the album is done, what're you gonna do? More movies? Tour?"

"I don't know yet. When I was filming My Sister's Keeper, Brad booked me a bunch of audition so it just depends on if I get the roles in any of them. And whenever I have time, I read a bunch of scripts so we'll see. Right now, it looks like I'll be doing movies but if not, tour." He nodded. "How's Caity doing? Every time I come to see her she's with Matt and surprisingly since I see him almost every day, I barely ever see her." He chuckled.

"She's good. Her and Matt are really happy together and are getting more serious by the second. She's been acting a little weird lately so you might want to talk to her." I nodded.

"Yea, okay. So how have you been?"

"I've been good. Just bored, chilling in this place every day."

"Why don't you get a job?" He nodded.

"That's a good point, I should." I laughed. "But where?"

"I don't know. Are you into acting?"

"I don't mind it. Maybe I'll do little things here and there till I decide on what I really want to do."

"Good. If I think of something else, I'll let you know. But I should get going." We both stood up. "I'll call Caity when I get in the car and maybe if she's not busy sticking her tongue down Matt's throat, we can talk." Kiwi laughed.

"Wow, you just scarred my brain forever." I laughed as he gave me a hug. "Come by whenever, okay? I miss seeing you every day like I did back at Camp Rock."

"I miss that too. One day, you me and Caity need to go out and do something together. Just the three of us."

"I would like that. Call, okay?"

"I will." I gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Bye."

As I got in the car, I pulled out my blackberry and called Caity.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey Caity Kat. I haven't talked to you in a while."

"_I know. I miss you a lot. I'm actually glad you called. I need to talk to you about something."_

"What is it? Are you okay?"

"_Look, I gotta go but I'll call you later okay? I miss you, bye."_

"But Cai-" I sighed as she hung up. Since I didn't really have anything else to do, I called Demi, hoping she wasn't filming at the moment.

"_H_ey_ Jael."_

"Hey Dems. Do you think I can stop by since I don't really have anything else to do?"

"_Yes, of course! I'll see you in a little, okay?"_

"Alright, bye." It took me about 20 minutes to get to her set. When I walked in, they were shooting a scene so I waited till they were done.

When Demi saw me, she smiled and ran towards me. Since they shoot with a crowd, I was to the side so the audience didn't see me. Demi hugged me tight and Sterling followed behind her.

"Hey, guys." I said as I hugged Sterling too.

"I think this is the first time I get to say that my hair is actually longer than yours." He said and I laughed.

"Hey, it's getting there."

"It looks good, though." Demi said.

"Thanks." The two of them had to get back so I watched them for the next couple hours, laughing at the little jokes they put in the show, and once they were done, the cast and me went to a dressing room where there was food and drinks. We all sat on the couches and talked for a little while.

"Jael, how's the CD going?" Demi asked me.

"Good. We're almost done, finally. Currently, we're trying to figure out what to do for the album artwork so I might just look through my sketchbook to see if I can use any of that or get inspiration to draw something else. And then we need to choose a single and an album name then we're good to go."

"Have you thought of an album name yet?"

"No. I've thought of a couple but none that were good. Maybe we'll do a self-titled album but I don't know. I have to see if the guys thought of anything yet."

"You look exhausted." Sterling said.

"Ha, you're telling me. We've been working for hours every single day and no matter how tired I am, I can't sleep cause of my damn insomnia. So yes, I am exhausted. Enough about me, though. What about you guys? You almost done filming for the season?"

"Yea. We have a couple episodes left to film and then we're all done. We should be done about a week in of December but we'll see." Doug said.

"Cool."

"What about Joe, Nick, and Kevin? Do you know when they finish?" Tiffany asked.

"No idea." I replied. "I haven't seen any of them in forever. They go to set early and by the time I wake up they're already gone. And when I get back from the studio, they're either still gone or sleeping. But at least you guys are almost done cause I need people to hang out with."

"Have you spoken to Jac recently?" Demi asked.

"No, I haven't. I need to, though. Kris and Dirk too."

I talked with them for about another hour when I decided to leave. I hugged all of them and when I get in my car, I called Jac.

"_Hey beautiful girl! I haven't talked to you in forever, what's up?"_ I laughed.

"Hey, Jac. I'm off today and tried doing everything I could to amuse myself but sadly, I failed miserably. So I called the crazy party girl I know. You free today?"

"_Yes! Come over. Do you need a ride?"_

"No, I got my license and a car."

"_Why haven't you come over every day then?"_ I laughed.

"My band and I were working on our album! I've been busy as shit."

"_Oh okay. Well hurry up and get here and we can decide then what to do. Plus, I want to see your hair."_

"Haha, okay. I'll be there soon. Bye." I hung up the phone and made my way to Jac's apartment in about ten minutes. When I knocked on the door, I heard, "Coming!" and the door flew open but it was Kris instead of Jac.

"Hey!" I said and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Oh my god, your hair!" He said and I laughed.

"I know! Can I come in or what?" He moved to the side and I walked in, setting my bag on the couch. "Where's Jac?"

"In her room. Follow me." I followed him to Jac's room but she was in the bathroom that was in her room.

"Jac!" I yelled.

"Open the door, I'm doing my hair." She said.

"I would've opened it even if you were taking a shit." I said as leaned against the doorframe.

"Jael!" She screamed, putting the flat iron down, and pulled me into a hug. I stumbled back as Kris and I laughed.

"Dude, this place is amazing."

"Thank you. Oh my gosh, your hair looks amazing!"

"You're about the millionth person who told me that today but thanks. So what are we doing today?" I asked them.

"Shopping!" I laughed at her excitement. "But we're taking your car cause I want to see how amazing it is."

"Can I drive?" Kris asked.

"Ha." I said as I grabbed my bag and we all left.

Jac told me where to go as we made our way to a shopping center with amazing stores. The three of us tried on tons of clothes even though we weren't going to buy any of them but it was fun. We did a bunch of crazy poses as Kris took pictures and videos.

The three of us bought a few things then went back to Jac's place.

"Jael, how old are you?" Kris asked me randomly.

"Turning 18 in a couple days, why?" He gasped.

"Can you buy me a pack of cigarettes?" I laughed.

"I can't, I'm still 17."

"Sometimes they'll let you go if you're just a couple days from 18. Please?"

"Sure. I'll buy a pack for myself too."

"Wait, you smoke?" Jac asked, Kris being curious too.

"Yea. I stopped for a bit but then Thomas, the guy I was in the movie with, got me hooked back. It's whatever, though. Is there a gas station or something close by?" I asked.

"Yea. When you get out of the apartment complex, turn right and walk straight and you'll see a 7-ll somewhere down there. It's not a long walk."

"You're not coming?" Kris asked her.

"Nahh, I'm good. I just wanna relax for a bit."

"Okay." I said. "We'll be back in a bit. Do you want anything?"

"No, I'm good. Take your time. Don't rape anymore strangers, Kris!" Jac yelled as we walked to the door.

"You know they liked it!" He yelled back and I laughed. I took my wallet out of my bag and we began walking to 7-ll.

On our way there, Kris kept taking pictures and videos. He was a photographer after all, but he was going crazy with them.

"Kris, I swear, if there was such thing as a photography rehab, you would definitely be the first to go." He was recording a video as I said that.

"Well technically since I'm recording a video, I won't be the first to enter this…photography rehab of yours." I tried thinking of something else to say.

"Yea, whatever." He laughed. We got to the 7-ll Jac was telling us about. "What cigarette's do you smoke?"

"Marlboro 100's Light. You should get a Zippo too." I laughed and nodded as I went up to the cashier.

"Hi, can I have two packs of Marlboro 100's Light and a Zippo lighter, please." The guy got what I wanted and asked to see an ID. I took my driver's license out of my wallet and showed it to him.

"You turning 18 in a couple days?" He asked and I nodded. "I guess I can let it slide this time." I smiled. "As an early birthday present."

"Thank you so much." I paid for them and Kris and I left. "That was awesome." Kris laughed and I gave him the pack. "Give me one and I'll give you one of mine when I open my pack." I told him. He gave me a cigarette and I took the Zippo out, lighting Kris's cig then mine.

"So does the paparazzi not follow you or something?" Kris asked me.

"Not really, no. If I'm with some of my more famous friends then yea, and randomly the same three will pop out of nowhere, but it's not that bad. They're actually nice and ask to take my picture instead of snapping their fucking camera till it breaks." Kris chuckled.

"Does Joe know you smoke?" He asked me.

"No. He would get pretty pissed if he found out and I'm sure he will eventually, but I don't know." I looked down.

"You okay?"

"Yea, I just…never mind." Kris didn't bring it up again and once we finish our cigarette, we went inside the building to Jac's room. She was sitting in her living room, painting in her large sketchbook. She had paint supplies scattered all around her and Nirvana playing on her stereo.

"Wow, that looks amazing." I told her.

"Thanks." She replied. "Come sit. How was your journey to 7-11?" Kris and I laughed as we sat around her things.

"None like any other." She laughed.

"Jael, I want you to paint something? You told me you could last time, right?"

"Yea, I think so." She tore her finished painting out and gave me the sketchbook. "I brought my sketch-book if you guys want to look through it. It's in my bag." Kris took it out and looked through it with Jac as I decided what to paint. I didn't really know what to do so I just dipped the paintbrush in paint and stroked it on the page, wondering what it would turn out to be at the end.

"Wow, Jael, these are amazing!" Jac said.

"Seriously! I mean, I thought I was good." Kris joked and I laughed.

"Thanks guys."

About ten minutes later, I was halfway done the painting. Kris and I smoked a few more cigarettes and I gave him the one I owed.

"Does anyone else want to get wasted?" Jac said randomly and I laughed.

"Hell yes!" Kris said.

"Do you have anything?" I asked her.

"I always have something." She said and I laughed again. She went to her kitchen and brought a variety of alcoholic drinks. "Chose your pick."

We each chose something and started drinking.

"Man, this painting is gonna be fucked up when I'm finished." We all laughed. Kris got up and changed the song that was currently playing, then started taking pictures. At some point, I took the black paint and put a stroke under each of my eyes. I did the same for Kris and we took a few pictures.

After I finished painting, it turned out pretty good. I set it out to dry and helped Jac clean everything up. Once we were officially drunk, we basically laughed at everything for no apparent reason and talked about nonsense for hours. All of a sudden, Kris just started laughing hysterically.

"Duuuuuuddddeeee!" He said, pointing at my eyes.

"What?" I said, laughing too. "Get your hand out of my face Kris! I mean-pfft!" I bust out laughing again. "I meant, I meant get it away from my face. What's so funny?" Kris wouldn't stop laughing. "KRIS!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He said, trying to stop laughing. "It's just that your eyes, they changed colour. They were green a second ago, and now they're blue! You have magic eyes!" Jac, Kris, and I all gasped.

"I do?" He nodded.

"Wait, I want to see." Jac said. "Give me your eyes, Jael."

"What?" I said, and we all bust out laughing again. "Oh my god, I think someone slipped some weed into our drinks or something."

We were basically at it all night, drinking non-stop and going crazy. The next think I know, I'm waking up with a killer headache and feeling like complete shit. I looked around and realized I had fallen asleep in Jac's living room, only Jac nor Kris were here. I stood up, wincing from the light shining through the window and heard Jac barfing in her bathroom. I groaned and went to the main one where Kris was. I knocked on the door.

"Kris, hurry up. I don't think I can hold it down much longer." He opened the door and the toilet was flushing. "Did we party that hard last night?"

"I guess so. I think we need to go through all the pictures and videos we took." I laughed and all of a sudden, I fell to my knees and threw up in the toilet.

"Ew." I said.

"Oh, one more thing." I looked at him. "Parmesan Cheese." I threw up all over again, pretty certain I got everything out.

"What the hell was that?" I asked, flushing the toilet and rinsing my mouth in the sink.

"An old trick I learned. Say it when someone has a hangover and they barf instantly."

"Good to know." I turned the lights off and Kris and I sat on the couch in the living room. I rested my head back against a pillow and a few minutes later, Jac walked out.

"What the fuck?" She said. "I never enjoy this part of an amazing night. I really don't." We all nodded in agreement.

"Hey, what time is it?" I asked.

"12:30." I sat up.

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope." I check my phone and realized I had six missed calls.

"Shit."

"What's going on?" Kris asked as I grabbed my jacket and put it on.

"I'm supposed be at the studio." I grabbed my shoes and put them on then grabbed my bag. "I'll stop by after, okay? See you guys later."

As I ran down the steps of the apartment building and got into my car, I dialed Jesse's number.

"_Hey, where've you been? We've been calling you for the past hour and a half."_

"I know, I'm so sorry. I'll explain when I get there."

"_Alright. Be quick."_

"I will."

Since I was still suffering from the hangover, I put my sunglasses on since the sun was really bright and stopped at Starbucks for a coffee. Afterwards when I arrived at the studio, I quickly got on the elevator and walked into the room they were in.

"I'm so sorry!" I quickly said before they could say anything.

"You look like shit." Evan said.

"You're telling me."

"What happened?" I groaned and slumped in a chair.

"I went over to Jac's and Kris was there. Basically, long story short, we drank. A lot." They laughed. "The second I finished throwing up, I called Jesse and came over. Once again, I'm sorry. But let's do this. Where's Howard?"

"He went to get himself some lunch." I nodded.

"Ugh, my head is killing me." I said as I rested it in my hands.

"You still gonna be able to sing?" Matt asked me.

"Of course."

After Howard came back, we went into the piano room. I took a seat and when Howard said it was good to go, I began to sing and play. After a few hours, the song was completely finished. Since I was late earlier, the guys had already recorded the guitar/bass/drums part of the song. Howard told us he would fix it up and would have it, including all the other songs, completely finished. We decided to meet again that day after tomorrow just to make sure he would be done with everything.

When we left, I told the guys to think of an album title and I would see them soon. I went back to Jac's place for a few minutes and Kris was still there.

"Hey guys," I said as I gave them each a hug.

"You feeling any better?" Kris asked me.

"Yea, a little bit. I can't stay long cause I have to go visit Charlotte then go to the guys place so we can think of an album title. But I want to get a tattoo, you know, since I'm eighteen and all. You guys want to go with me whenever I go?"

"Hell yes!" Jac said. "What do you plan on getting?"

"Ever since I was like, thirteen, I've wanted to get a bunch of little birds flying around my wrist. I drew a picture of it, hold on." I took my sketchbook out and flipped to the page it was on.

"That looks so rad." Kris said. "When do you plan on going?"

"I don't know. We're not going back to the studio till the day after tomorrow so we'll see what happens tomorrow." I checked the time on my phone. "I know I've only been here for like, five minutes, but I have to go check on Charlotte. I'll text or call you guys tomorrow, okay? Love both of you." I gave each of them a hug. "Bye."

As I made my way to the hospital, my phone rang. It was Joe.

"_Hey,"_

"Hey, what's goin' on?"

"_What? I can't call my own girlfriend to see how she's doing? Especially since I haven't seen her in ages."_ I chuckled

"No, of course you can. You still on set?"

"_We're actually on our way back now. They let us leave early since we've been working our asses off for the past couple months. Are you home?"_

"No, I was actually on my way to see Charlotte. But I'll be home after. See you then?"

_"Yea, okay. Love you."_ I didn't say anything and hung up. I got to the hospital in about ten minutes. I knocked on Charlotte's door then walked in. She saw me and looked down.

"You still came even though I lied to you?" She asked.

"Of course. I'm not mad. I just don't understand why you lied?"

"I just didn't want you to feel like you had such a burden on your shoulders."

"You're never a burden on my shoulders. I promise." I sat in front of her on her bed.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, anything. What's up?"

"Do you like cats?" I laughed.

"What? Yea, I love them. Why?"

"Just asking." I looked at her with a curious look on my face but dropped the subject. I stayed at the hospital for about another hour but she was getting tired so I left. I called Joe when I was on my way home and when I got there, I ignored the paparazzi and went inside. I set my bag on the couch and saw Nick and Kevin in the kitchen.

"Hey guys," I said and gave each of them a hug.

"Hey, gosh, we haven't seen you in forever." Kevin said.

"I know, right?"

"Your hair is looking good." Nick said.

"Thanks."

"Did it just look like that as it was growing or did you do something to it?"

"I cut the bangs myself so it would grow like that but everything else is the same."

"Ginger." Nick muttered and I laughed as I nudged him.

"Hey," I turned around and saw Joe.

"Hey." I gave him a hug and a kiss.

"How's Charlotte?"

"She looked pretty good today. She asked me if I like cats for some reason." I shrugged. "I don't know, but we finally finished with the music for our album. We're meeting back with Howard the day after tomorrow to listen to all the songs and I have to go to the guys house so we can think of an album title."

"But you just got here." Joe said.

"I know, but I'm really busy. I'll see you guys in a few hours?" I gave each of them a hug and Joe a kiss.

"See you, Jael." Nick said as I walked away. I grabbed my bag and walked to my car, trying to ignore the paparazzi as best as I could. If it was Mike and the guys he's usually with then I wouldn't mind but these guys were going crazy.

"Didn't you just get home?" One of them asked.

"Yup, I'm pretty busy. Gotta get this album out, you know." I slid into my car, opened the gates, and drove to Evan, Jesse, and Matt's place as I was thinking of an album name. When I knocked on the door, Matt opened it. I gave him a hug then took a seat on the couch.

"Did you guys think of anything?" I asked them.

"If you mean complete shit, then yes. Yes we have." Evan said and I laughed.

"Well, I think I came up with something. What about, 'Still Life, Still Alive'?" They nodded, thinking about it. "It sort of goes with the songs and, I don't know, it sort of just…fits?"

"That's good." Jesse said. "I like it."

"Yea, me too." Matt said. "By the way, Caity's here. She's in the bathroom." I laughed.

"Wow." I got up and stood in front of the bathroom door, knocking on it.

"Caity, come out here I haven't seen you in forever." She opened the door and smiled.

"Jael!" She pulled me into a hug. "How have you been?"

"Good."

"How was the cast party thing for My Sister's Keeper?"

"It was really cool. Since it was my first movie, they let me have something from the set. It's pretty important in the movie; you'll know when you watch it. But it's this scrapbook that my character made and it's really cool. Next time you come over, I'll show it to you."

"Okay."

"You okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine. Umm, it's nothing."

"Caity," I said, looking at her. "What's going on? Don't do what you did to me when I was talking to you on the phone." She sighed and grabbed my arm, pulling me into one of the rooms.

"You know I love Matt with all my heart, right?" I nodded. "And we've never been so happy before and our relationship is serious. I just-I need to know you're by my side with this, just in case he isn't."

"Where are you going with this, Caity?"

"I…I think I'm pregnant."

**Review! I made this shorter than I was just so I could post it sooner.**

**You see, I'm trying so please still read and review. I'll start typing the next chapter ASAP. Thank you.**


	26. Author's Note 3

**Hey everyone.**

**it's been FOREVER since I've posted a new chapter and I'm really sorry.**

**I probably would've posted three by now but I can't.**

**my laptop broke and I'm pretty sure I lost all of my files. My dad might be able to fix it but even if he can, I doubt it's likely for me to get my files back, or if it's even fixable.**

**I was almost done the next chapter when it happened so that's all erased too.**

**I don't know if I'll be able to post again for a while, unless my dad gives me my really old laptop back.**

**i love you all and I'm so sorry.**

**but I thought of something that I'm really excited for that'll happen to Jael and hopefully you'll like it too.**

**thank you so much and please be patient with me.**

**don't unsubscribe. please.**

**thank you.**


	27. Birds Flying High

**I finally got my laptop back with everything still saved on it, thank god. I'm sorry it's been such a long time that I've posted, but it's not my fault! I hope you guys like this chapter. I'll start writing the next one ASAP.**

**And someone commented on my Author's Note saying it was against fanfiction rules to post Author's Notes separate from the chapters, and I didn't know that. I'll try to post them with the chapters now.**

**Review please!**

"You think you're what?" I asked in completely shock.

"Pregnant-look, I just need to know you're by my side for this, that's all."

"Of course I am. But are you sure?"

"No. But my period is two weeks late and I'm having like this hard core PMS that I can't really control. And I just…I don't know. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. But…I need you to help me because," Tears started sliding down her cheeks. "Because I'm not sure if I can do this alone."

"You wont. I know Matt and even though he's a complete goofball, he's a gentleman too and an amazing friend. But we don't even know if you're pregnant so we need to get some tests from the drugstore. And by the way, if you're not pregnant, I want to take you and Kiwi and we'll go on an adventure. Just the three of us."

"But why can't we do that if I am pregnant?"

"Because there will be alcohol and possible cigarette/hookah smoke in the air." She smiled.

"Okay. But umm...let's go now?"

"Yea, come on. I'll make up some excuse to the guys for us." We walked out to the living room where the guys were. "Hey, I'm craving some twizzlers so Caity and I are gonna go to Rite-Aid or something. You guys want anything?"

"No, we're good."

"Kay, we'll be back soon." We slipped our shoes on and left. "So when did you guys…you know." I asked while we were driving to the nearest drugstore.

"About a month ago."

"You love him that much, huh?" She nodded.

"I would do anything for him, Jael. Every time I went out with someone, it was only if I felt a lot for them. And I've never felt the way I feel with Matt. Never."

"So even if you are pregnant..?"

"Then I'm pregnant. I guess we'll figure it out from there."

We finally got to the drugstore. I grabbed a basket and we walked to the pregnancy section. I grabbed two different tests and to make sure no fans or paparazzi were lurking around, I went to the candy section and got twizzlers, then went to the fridges and grabbed a case of Red Bull.

After I paid, I made sure the tests were hidden in the bag, then got back in the car.

"Do you think we can just go back to my place? I don't really want to be around anyone right now." Caity asked.

"Of course. I'll call them when we get to the condo." The rest of the ride was completely silent. When we were just a few minutes away, I noticed tears sliding down Caity's cheeks.

"Thank you, Jael."

"Don't thank me. I'm always by your side, no matter what it is."

We walked inside of the building and up to her floor. She pulled out her key and unlocked the door. Kiwi was sitting on the couch, eating popcorn, playing the guitar, and watching TV. He was shocked when he saw us.

"Hey," He stood up and gave each of us a hug. "Caity, you okay?"

"She's fine. PMSing, that's all."

"Oh okay."

"I'm gonna talk with her in her room for a little bit. We'll be out soon."

"Alright." As we walked into her bedroom, I closed and locked the door and dumped everything onto the bed. I handed her one of the pregnancy tests and she walked into the bathroom that was part of her bedroom. I sat on the bed, eating some twizzlers, waiting for her to come out.

"Did you pee on it yet, Caity?" I asked.

"No, I'm too scared." I got off the bed and walked to the bathroom.

"Open the door." She opened it and I walked in, then closed it. "Sit on the toilet." I opened one of the tests for her and handed it to her as she sat on the toilet. I read the instructions out loud and after she peed on it, she set it on the sink, waiting for two minutes to see the results. I sat on top of the sink and Caity sat on top of the toilet.

"Any baby names in mind?" She laughed

"No, not really. That wasn't exactly the first thing I thought about when I realized I could be carrying Matt's child." I laughed as well. I picked up the test and read what it showed. "What's the test say?"

"They're not always accurate."

"What does it say?" She asked again.

"Negative." She sighed. "Pee on the second one and then we'll make an appointment to the doctors." She nodded. I gave her the second one from the bed. She closed the door and I sat on the bed as I ate some more twizzlers. When she walked out, I took the stick and she sat beside me as she ate some twizzlers too. "Give me your phone and I'll make the appointment." She handed it to me and I called the closest hospital. I made the appointment for tomorrow morning. Once I hung up, I told Caity then looked at the second stick. "This one says yes." She groaned and laid back on the bed.

"Why can't they just be right?"

"You'll find out tomorrow, just relax. Oh, let me call Matt and tell him we're here." I took my phone out and called his cell.

"_Hey, where are you guys?"_

"Sorry about that. Caity was getting tired so we decided to just come back to her place. I forgot to call, my fault."

"_It's fine. Is she okay?"_

"Yup. She's awesome. She'll give you a call tomorrow."

"_Okay. Bye."_ I hung up the phone and looked over at Caity.

"You okay?"

"Yea. Let's go sit with Kiwi in the living room."

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"Kiwi? Probably when I get the actual results." I nodded. We walked out to the living room and Kiwi was doing the same as before.

"You guys okay? You've been in there for a while."

"Yea, we're fine. Just talking about some girl stuff."

"Caity dragged me to stay with her while she gets her nails done. Trust me, I know what you girls talk about." We both laughed.

We talked with Kiwi for a couple more hours when Caity decided to go to bed. I stayed with him for a little longer then followed Caity. She wasn't sleeping, just laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked her.

"Yea, just thinking. You gonna stay for the night?"

"Of course. Do you have something I can sleep in?"

"Yea, check in the drawers in my closet." I walked in and grabbed a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I quickly changed and went to her bed.

"Oh crap, I was supposed to go back to the house cause Joe is there. Let me call him really quick, okay?" She nodded. I took my phone out and dialed his number.

"_Hey, you on your way?"_ He asked me.

"No. Umm, something came up with Caity, she's not feeling too good, so I'm spending the night at her place."

"_Is she alright?"_

"Yea, she is. She just needs some company right now."

"_Can't Matt be her company?"_

"Joe, she's my friend and I barely get to see her cause of how hard I've been working."

"_You're my girlfriend and I barely get to see you from how hard we've been working!"_

"Joe, I'm not gonna argue with you about this. I'm staying. I'll see you another time when you're off. Goodbye." I hung up the phone and sighed.

"What was that?" Caity asked sitting up.

"Nothing. He's just pissed cause we haven't seen each other in a while and I'd rather see my best friend than my boyfriend."

"Are you guys okay?"

"I guess." I said and shrugged.

"Jael, seriously, what's going on?"

"Nothing." She gave me a look. "Nothing, I swear." She still didn't believe me. "Hey, remember you're pregnant."

"Don't try and use that as an escape from this conversation!" I laughed.

"I promise, everything is fine. He just overreacted."

"Fine. But just know that I know you're lying."

The next morning when I woke up, I went to the bathroom and showered, then put the clothes I was wearing yesterday on. After I was done, I woke Caity up and told her to get ready so we could go to the doctor's. While she was getting ready, I did my make up and put my shoes on. When she came out, she was already dressed and started doing her hair.

"Hurry up, cause we don't want to be late for the doctors." I told her.

"Hey, just because you don't have to do your hair, doesn't mean I don't."

"Then shave it." She gave me a look and I laughed.

"Right, because it's that simple. You're just lucky cause you're still hot bald and with short hair. Not everybody is like that." I shrugged.

"Doesn't mean you aren't. But whatever, finish your hair."

"Are you more excited about this than I am?" I laughed.

"Maybe."

Finally when Caity was done, we drove to the hospital. We went to the section where we were supposed to be waiting and after Caity signed in, about ten minutes later the nurse came out and called us in. She checked Caity's weight and height, then when we went in the room, Caity sat on the bed and the nurse did the normal routine, (checking blood pressure, heart, lungs, etc). Afterwards, she told Caity the doctor would be in, in a few minutes.

"You alright?" I asked her.

"Yea, just nervous."

"If it turns out you are, what are you gonna do?" She shrugged.

"I'm gonna keep the baby, of course. I'm just worried about how I'm gonna tell Matt. Plus, I'm only eighteen and I don't have a job. I barely have enough money for myself, what am I gonna do for the baby?"

"You always have me. Whenever you need money, just tell me okay? I'll give you as much as you need whether you're pregnant or not. And you don't have to pay me back either."

"Jael, you don't have to do that."

"But I am. I have all that money just sitting there in the bank, what the hell am I gonna do with it Caity? I will help you."

"Thanks Jael. You're the best."

"I know." We both laughed as the doctor walked in.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Montgomery." She said, having a clipboard in her hand. "You must be Caitlyn, right?"

"Yes." Caitlyn said and shook her hand.

"And you are?" She said, turning to me.

"Jael Pierce." I shook her hand too.

"Nice to meet you both. So what I'm going to do is take some of your blood and ask you a couple questions. Then afterwards, I'll have you pee in a cup and we'll go from there."

"Okay." Dr. Montgomery pulled over a tray that the nurse left in here and set everything up for the blood test. "Stick your arm out and make a fist." The doctor put the tourniquet around the upper part of her arm. Once she saw the vain sticking out, she dabbed it with an alcohol wipe, then got the needle. "If you look away, it hurts less." She suggested. Caity turned to me and squeezed my hand in her free one. Once the needle was in, Caity looked back, watching the blood spill into the little tube. Dr. Montgomery took the needle out and covered that part of Caity's arm with a band-aid.

"Okay, when did you and the father of this child interact sexually?" She asked.

"About a month ago."

"Are you taking any pregnancy pills or patches?"

"No." Dr. Montgomery wrote everything down on a paper as Caity answered the questions. She asked her a couple more questions.

"Alright, here, take this." She handed Caity the cup she was supposed to pee in. "The bathroom is right over there and I will be right back." The doctor stepped out of the room and Caity went in the bathroom. When she came out, she sat back on the bed and waited for the doctor to walk back in.

"This is so weird." She told me. "You know that feeling, when you feel like it's impossible for something to happen to you but it does?" I nodded. "That's how I'm feeling right now. And…I don't know what to do. What to feel."

"Well, you just gotta stay strong. Whatever happens, you know I'll be right by your side. Okay?" She nodded.

"Yea, thanks." When Dr. Montgomery walked in, Caity gave her the cup she peed in. The two of them talked for about ten more minutes.

"Alright, looks like we're all finished. I'll contact you personally with the results and if you are truly pregnant, then we'll need to make another appointment and do a bunch of other tests." Caity nodded. "Okay, I'll talk to you in a few days. Bye guys." We both walked out and to my car.

As I was driving, I noticed Caity had her arms wrapped around her stomach. She had her head against the seat, just staring out the window.

"Hey," I said, trying to distract her. "So, I was hanging out with Jac and Kris a yesterday. And I think I want to get my first tattoo today. You want to come with us? You can watch me scream in pain." She chuckled.

"Do you know when you're getting it?"

"Not yet. I still have to talk with Kris and Jac to see what times they're free, but whenever."

"Umm, I actually think I just want to go home. You mind dropping me off at my place?"

"Yea, no problem. Are you alright?"

"Yea, I just need some time to think."

When I got to her place, I parked the car in a parking spot. She was about to step out when she stopped herself.

"If you see Matt, can you tell him to leave me alone for a little while? I'm not mad at him or anything but,"

"You just want to be alone, I got it. You want me to keep it a secret that you might be preggo?"

"Please?" I nodded. "I'll call you later." She gave me a hug. "Bye."

Before I called Jac, I decided to go see Charlotte first. I knocked on her door then walked in.

"Hey," I said to her.

"Hi," I gave her a hug and sat on the bed.

"So guess what?"

"What?"

"I might be getting a tattoo today." Her eyes widened.

"Really? That's so cool!" I laughed. "What are you gonna get?"

"I'm thinking of getting little birds flying around my wrist."

"Do you know when you're getting it today?"

"Not yet. I was gonna call my friend Jac cause her and my other friend Kris want to come with me to get it. But I stopped here before I went over to her place."

"Do you know when I'll be able to see it?"

"Well, if I'm not busy afterwards then I'll stop by. But if not, then tomorrow."

"Okay. Man, it's gonna be so cool!" I laughed at her excitement.

"Yea, I'm excited."

"Well go! The faster you get it done the faster I can see it!" I laughed.

"Alright, I'm going, I'm going!" I grabbed my bag. "See you soon."

I got in my car and drove to Jac's as I called her.

"Hey, do you and Kris still want to come with me to get my tattoo?" I asked her when she picked up.

_"Yes, of course! We've been waiting for your call all day."_ I laughed.

"Sorry. I would've been there earlier but I had to deal with something. I'm on my way now so I'll see you guys soon. Bye."

When I arrived, I went up to her floor and knocked on her door. Jac opened it and I gave her and Kris a hug.

"Do you know where you're getting it done?" Jac asked me.

"No. I can go where I got my nose pierced, the guy was pretty chill there. But the place was pretty low-key so I don't know if it's better to go to a more professional place."

"I guess that's what Google's for. Unless you wanna go to Kat Von Dee." Kris suggested.

"Ha, no thanks. I don't really feel like being on TV right now." Jac pulled out her laptop and searched a tattoo place for me. When we found a good one, I called and made an appointment for about an hour later. The three of us afterwards sat on the couch and started talking.

"Jael, what did you mean you had to deal with something when I was talking to you on the phone before you came?" Jac asked me.

"Oh, nothing. There's this thing I had to do then I visited Charlotte at the hospital."

"How's she doing?" Kris asked me. "I wanna meet her."

"She seemed pretty good. She was really excited when I told her I was getting a tattoo. And you can. I'm gonna be spending my time with her at the hospital on my birthday so you guys can join me if you want."

"You don't have anything planned?" Jac asked.

"No. I haven't celebrated my birthday in years anyway, so it's no big deal. Plus, she can't leave the hospital so even if I was doing something, I want her to be there."

"Well, that'll be awesome. We can go chill over there, bring junk food and drinks, you know?" Kris said.

"Yea, that's awesome." Jac said and I agreed.

"I guess I have plans for my birthday after all." I said and they laughed. "I'm gonna invite Caity and Kiwi too, alright?"

"It's _your_ birthday." Kris pointed out and I laughed.

We talked for a little more then decided to drive down. I made sure I had my sketchbook with me so I could show the artist what I wanted, then we left. When we got there, the three of us got out and walked in.

"Hey, how you guys doin'?" The guy working there greeted. He walked over to us and shook each of our hands. "My name is Mike. What can I do for you guys today?"

"I made an appointment earlier to get a tattoo done." Mike went behind his desk and took out a chart.

"Name?"

"Jael Pierce."

"Right, here you are. Okay, well, I have one guy here I have to tattoo. It'll take me just about fifteen minutes so once I'm done with him, I'll call you over."

"Okay." Mike walked to the other side of the room where his costumer was. As Jac, Kris, and I waited, we looked through the tattoo books Mike had, completely in shock at how good of an artist he is.

The fifteen minutes went by a lot faster than I'd hoped and I soon grew nervous. The guy Mike tattooed paid him then Mike walked over to us.

"Alright, what do you have in mind for a tattoo, Jael?" He asked me.

"I actually sketched it already." I handed him my sketchbook, already opened on the page. "The birds flying around the wrist."

"Yea, this is cool. Do you want it exactly like this or do you want me to think of something else related to it?"

"Just the way it is."

"Which wrist?"

"My right one."

"Okay, let's do this. You guys can go over there where Jael will be sitting and I'm going to trace this onto the transfer paper, alright?" I nodded and we all stood up and went to the other side of the room where he tattooed everybody. I sat on the chair and put my arm on the table beside me.

"You nervous?" Kris asked me.

"Not really. It shouldn't take that long anyway so I'm just excited for the outcome."

A few minutes later, Mike finished and walked over. He wiped my wrist with a rubbing alcohol wipe then put the transfer paper around my wrist so the tracing of the tattoo got on it. He took a new needle out and put it in the tattoo machine. He inserted black ink and made sure it worked fine.

"You ready?" He asked me and I nodded. He lowered the machine towards my wrist. I winced, not knowing how bad it would hurt, but once it touched my skin, I realized it was barely anything.

"It's not that bad." I said and he laughed.

"Remember, this is just the outlining. Once I'm done this, I'm gonna have to fill it in."

"Okay. Does filling it in hurt any different?"

"No, I don't think so. People have told me it hurts less cause it's quick. But everybody's different. I guess it just depends on your pain level."

About ten minutes later, he was already almost done outlining all the little birds.

"So why'd you decide to get this tattooed on you?" Mike asked, trying to make conversation.

"Well, I've wanted it since I was 13 so it's not like it was a last minute thing. And I don't know. I feel like it represents freedom in a way. But then again, it represents being trapped. It's kind of a long complicated thing, but I'm finally getting it and I'm excited."

"That's good you've actually wanted this for a while. So many people have came in here that I couldn't do their tattoo for them cause it was something stupid that I knew they would regret, or it was just some stupid rebellious thing to get at their parents or something."

"Wow." I said.

"Yea. I try and talk to them and explain why I won't do it for them. Some understand and some walk out in a fit, but it's for the best, you know?"

About fifteen minutes later, the tattoo was completely done and I was insanely excited. He had to put plastic wrap around it so it wouldn't get infected.

"You have to keep this on for two hours, okay? And afterwards, I'd say for about a week, just put some Neosporin on it or something so it doesn't get infected." I nodded.

"Okay, thank you so much, dude. You have no idea how happy I am." We went up to the front and I paid for the tattoo. Jac and I also got a few rings and I got a few nose rings; studs and hoops.

When we were done, we got back in my car and started driving around.

"So where are we going now?" I asked as I took a cigarette out and lit it. I rolled down the window and rested my arm on it.

"When's the next time you're seeing Charlie?" Jac asked me.

"Well she wanted to see my tattoo, so I guess in a couple hours when I can take the plastic off."

"Then we should definitely go somewhere where we can walk around and just relax for a little bit, then Kris and I can come with you to meet her." I nodded, agreeing.

Kris told me where to go because he knew a place where him and his friends went a lot. When we arrived, I was amazed. It was completely private and beautiful. It was just a field and you could see mountains behind it. I honestly felt like I was looking at a post card.

"Wow, Kris, this place is amazing." I told him.

"I know, right? I come here to photograph a lot."

"Is it weird that I totally have a blanket in the trunk for us to sit on?" They laughed.

"And why, may I ask, do you have a blanket in here?" Jac asked and I shrugged.

"You never know when we need it. Like right now." We all stepped out of the car and I grabbed the blanket from the trunk. "Jac, grab the guitar from the backseat, will you?" She nodded and took it out, then closed the door. The three of us chose a spot to sit. I set the blanket out and we all sat. I instantly pulled out my pack of cigarettes and lit one. I handed Kris my lighter so he could light his too.

"So, you gonna play us some of the songs on your album?" Kris asked me.

"If you like." They both said yes. I decided to play All Around Me. I tuned the guitar to fit the sound of the song. I kept my cigarette in my left hand, as I was moving my fingers around the fret board. As I was singing, Kris was recording a video from his camera.

_My hands are searching for you  
My arms are outstretched towards you  
I feel you on my fingertips  
My tongue dances behind my lips for you_

_This fire rising through my being  
Burning I'm not used to seeing you_

_I'm alive, I'm still alive_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

_My hands float up above me  
And you whisper you love me  
And I begin to fade  
Into our secret place_

_The music makes me sway  
The angels singing say we are alone with you  
I am alone and they are too with you_

_I'm alive, I'm still alive_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

_And so I cry_

I took a drag from my cigarette.

_Help me  
The light is white_

_Help me  
And I see you_

_I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healing_

_Take my hand  
I give it to you  
Now you own me  
All I am  
You said you would never leave me  
I believed you  
I believed_

_I can feel you all around me  
Thickening the air I'm breathing  
Holding on to what I'm feeling  
Savoring this heart that's healed_

I wiped the tears that fell as I was singing. The song was about my mother, and every time I so much as think about her, my eyes begin to water.

"That was amazing, Jael." Jac said.

"Thank you." I put out my already finished cigarette and lit another.

"It really was. Can I post this on my YouTube and tumblr?"

"Yea, of course."

For the next couple hours, Kris and I smoked and all three of us just talked and talked. It was probably the most fun I've had in a while.

"Next time we have to bring wine and have a bonfire or something here." Jac suggested.

"That would be amazing." I replied. "And Kris can take pictures of us and be the amazing photographer he is."

"Of course." He said and I laughed.

We eventually ended up leaving and driving to the hospital. More than two hours had passed so I unwrapped the plastic when we stopped at a traffic light.

"Oh my gosh, it's amazing!" I yelled and couldn't help but touch it.

"Let me see." Kris asked, sitting in the front seat. I showed it to him then I showed Jac.

"That's so rad. I can't wait till I get my first tattoo." Jac said and Kris agreed.

"Kris, there's a first-aid kit in the compartment holder thing. Inside is Neosporin. Can you give it to me?" I asked as the light turned green. He handed it to me and when I had a chance, I put it all around my wrist.

We arrived at the hospital and went up to the floor that Charlotte was on. As we were walking to her room, I noticed her nurse walking past me.

"Excuse me," I said, stopping her.

"Yes, Jael, it's nice to see you again."

"Yea, you too. Umm, I wanted to ask how Charlotte was doing? I know if I ask her myself, she'll probably lie so I just wanted to ask you."

"Umm," I didn't see a good look on her face.

"Just say it."

"I'm not exactly sure, but it'll be a miracle if she makes it past New Years." I felt like my heart just dropped.

"And there's nothing else you can do?" I asked, tears building up in my eyes.

"No, I'm sorry." I nodded, wiping the tears.

"Okay, umm, thank you." I said and started walking again. Kris put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him.

"It's gonna be okay, Jael. She'll be fine." Kris said, trying to comfort me. I nodded, even though I knew she wouldn't be, and wiped my tears. We got to Charlie's room. I knocked on her door then walked in.

"Hey, sweetie." I gave her a hug and a kiss on her forehead. "This is Kris and Jac."

"Hi," She said.

"Hey, hun. You're so beautiful! I love your eyes." Jac told her and she smiled.

"Thank you. Did you get the tattoo?" I nodded and showed it to her, laughing at the amazed look on her face. "Did it hurt?"

"Not really, no. There's Neosporin on it, by the way." She nodded, assuming what it was beforehand. "So this is what we decided on my birthday," I said, sitting on her hospital bed as Kris and Jac sat on the chairs against the wall. "Kris, Jac, Caity, Kiwi, and my band will all come over here and we're gonna bring junk food and all that stuff and just hang out here. Okay?"

"Are you sure? If you had something planned, I don't want to stop you."

"We didn't. I promise, this is what we want. It's what _I_ want."

"Okay." She said and smiled.

We talked for about an hour, Charlie getting to know Jac and Kris better. And I could tell instantly that they loved her.

"Jael, I don't mean to be a bother, but could you get me some water?" Charlie asked.

"Yea, of course. You guys want anything?" I asked Jac and Kris.

"No, we're good." I nodded and went to the cafeteria. I bought a bottle for her and one for me, then went back to her room.

"What did I miss?" I asked as I walked in. I grabbed a plastic cup and poured some for her.

"Nothing, we were just talking about random stuff." Jac said but I could tell they were hiding something.

"Uhuh." I said, making it obvious that I didn't believe them. Jac pulled her phone out, looking at the time.

"Crap, Jael I'm really sorry, but can you drop me off back at my place? Nicole and I have plans for later."

"Yea, of course." I gave Charlie a hug and a kiss on the cheek, as did Kris and Jac. "I'll see you later, Charlie, okay?" She nodded and we all walked back to the car.

"She's such a sweetheart." Jac said and Kris agreed.

"So what was it that you guys were talking about when I went to get her water?" I asked.

"Nothing." They both said simultaneously, which made me even more curious.

"You guys do realize that you're terrible liars and I know you're hiding something, right?" I asked as I pulled up to Jac's apartment building.

"Don't know what you're talking about. You're birthday is in two days so rest your little head, okay? Love you guys." She gave Kris and I a hug then got out of the car. Kris jumped into the front seat and put his seatbelt on.

"You have anywhere you need to be?" I asked him.

"Nope, I'm free. You know what we should do?" I looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "Let's get blankets and alcohol and go back to the field. We can just chill out over there. Plus, I don't really feel like seeing my mom right now." I nodded.

"Yea, okay. But where should we get the alcohol? I'm eighteen, not twenty-one."

"I have my connections." He said and I laughed. He called a couple people and gave me directions to his friend's house. He quickly went inside and came out with a couple bottles of wine and a case of beer.

"Daaaammn." He laughed. He set the alcohol in the backseat then came and sat back in the passenger seat. Kris lit a cigarette as we were driving. I plugged in my ipod and played Tool as we drove to the field.

When we arrived, I took out the blanket and Kris got the alcohol. He went back to get his camera then sat beside me on the blanket. I leaned against a tree as I lit a cigarette and opened a can of beer. I instantly remembered what the doctor told me about Charlie and my eyes began to water. Kris came and sat beside me.

"Jael, it's gonna be alright. She'll live way past new years." He said, trying to comfort me.

"You don't know that." I said as I wiped a tear. "I just don't know what I'm gonna do without her. People I care about keep leaving me or dying and I don't know why. I'm already struggling with life as it is, so why is everything just getting worse?"

"I know how it feels. A week before my 15th birthday, my dad blew his brains out. He didn't leave a suicide note or anything and me nor my mom knows why. He didn't seem depressed or anything. But he did love his beer, so maybe he was just hiding his feelings." I wiped my tears.

"Looks like I'm not the only one with daddy issues. My dad used to beat me, and my mom was really sick for a while so she couldn't do anything about it. But then she died and left me a letter explaining that my dad wasn't my real dad. At her funeral, my real dad came and the next day I ran into him at her grave. I asked if we could go for coffee or something and talk but he said no. He had to go back to Scotland because he had a family; a wife and two twin girls. And I haven't heard from him since."

"I'm sorry. How are you now?" I shrugged.

"Look at me. I'm 93 pounds and suffer from severe Insomnia, depression, and anxiety. I'm nowhere near better. My mother was the only person I loved. And now she's gone. I have my friends and Charlie, but I feel like that's not enough. I want my mother back. I can't live without her." I sniffed and took a drag from my cigarette. "There were so many times where I've contemplated suicide because…I feel like I have nothing to live for. I'm so selfish and I know that. My friends are amazing and I have this amazing career but…I just can't live like this." I noticed it started to get darker.

"You're not being selfish. You've been through so much. You deserve to hurt. But please, please don't kill yourself. You're one of my closest friends now. I can't lose you. I know it'll be hard, but can you promise me that?" I sniffed and nodded.

"I promise."


	28. The Drive

The next morning when I woke up, I checked the time on my phone then woke up Kris.

"Kris," I nudged him. "Kris, wake up."

"Hmm?"

"It's 1:30. Let's get out of here." We got up and collected everything, then sat inside the car. I was freezing so I put the heat on and drove to Kris's place. "My head is fucking killing me." I said, remembering drinking last night.

"Can you drive okay?" Kris asked me.

"Yea, I'm fine. I'm just gonna sleep when I get to my place."

When I got to Kris's place, I gave him a hug then drove straight to the house. I didn't pay any attention to who was home or anything, I just parked the car and went straight to my room and slept.

I woke up with the feeling that someone was watching me. I turned my head and saw Joe leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, and looking pissed.

"How long have you been standing there?" I asked.

"Not long. Do you know what time it is?" He asked, as if I should know. I looked at the clock on my phone and it read 5:00pm. "Where were you last night and this morning?"

"I was hanging out with Kris." I said as I sat up, resting my head in my hands because it was still throbbing.

"Yea? Is this what else you've been doing?" He threw my pack of cigarettes on the ground.

"Why were you going through my bag?"

"Why was I going threw your bag? Jael, why were you smoking?" I winced from how loud he yelled. "Are you-you're kill-" I knew he stopped himself from saying 'crazy' and 'killing yourself' because he already knew the answers to all of them. He sighed and brushed his hands threw his hair. "You will die." He said more calmly. "Why are you doing this?" I sighed and rested my head in my hands again.

"I don't want to talk about this right now." I said as I stood up.

"Well I do!"

"Will you stop yelling at me? I'm not in the mood right now, okay?" He walked up to me, stared deep into my eyes and smelt my breath.

"You're hung-over." I sighed and walked right past him, straight into my bathroom. I brushed my teeth then stripped of all my clothes and got in the shower. I stood there, letting the hot water relax my body. I felt the tears in my eyes and let them fall, crying uncontrollably. I soon wasn't able to stand and sat down, leaning against the bath. I thought of Charlotte, hoping she would live a lot longer than the doctors think. I can't lose her; I don't even know what I would do without her.

And Joe. I don't know what's been going on lately. I just feel…empty. And I know he won't be able to help this feeling. I love him with everything in me, but I'm not happy. And I feel like I never will be. I can't stand thinking what would happen if we broke up. But most of the time, I feel like it's the only choice I've got.

After I had washed my hair and my body, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped my robe around me tightly. I got out of the bathroom, knowing Joe had probably went for a drive. I got dressed and did my hair, turning around and seeing my cigarettes still on the ground. I picked them up and threw them back in my bag, then stepped out of my room and went down to the kitchen. I haven't eaten in days and looking at all the food we had just made me feel sick. I slammed the fridge door shut and went outside for a walk. I ignored the paparazzi, even Mike, and even though they kept on following me, I made my way to a shopping center. I walked into Caribou Coffee and got some tea, then sat way in the back at a booth, staring out the window as I smoked a cigarette.

I heard a few familiar voices and when I turned around, I saw Hunter, the bassist of the band AFI, and their tour manager Smith, who was also the brother of the guitarist, Jade. I've talked to Hunter a bunch of times through twitter, so when he saw me, he smiled and walked over. I stood up and gave him a hug.

"Hey," I said. I hugged Smith as well.

"Hey." Hunter replied. "We finally get to meet."

"I know! Please sit." I told them, both of them sitting across from me. I put out my already finished cigarette, and was shocked to even be near these two.

"And we've never actually talked." Smith said.

"I know. But I'm a huge fan of you guys and the band so it's all good. How are you guys?"

"We're good. How's your album coming along?" Hunter asked.

"Great! We're pretty much finished, which is good. I'm just glad I get to take a break for a while."

"We know the feeling. Is that a tattoo?" Smith asked. I rolled up my sleeve to show them.

"Yea, I just got it yesterday. First tattoo of many."

"How're you liking it?"

"I love it! I can't wait to get a bunch more."

"Are you eighteen?"

"No, I'm turning eighteen in a couple days."

"Well happy early birthday then."

"Thank you."

We talked for a couple hours, getting to know each other. I don't think I've actually laughed the way I've been laughing with them in a long time. These guys were hilarious and it made me smile that we could actually be considered friends. Eventually my phone rang. It was Joe.

"Hello?"

"_Hey, where are you?"_

"Out."  
_"Well we need to talk. Can you come back to the house, please?"_ I sighed.

"Yea, I'll be there soon." I hung up the phone. "I'm really sorry guys, but I have to go." The three of us stood up. I gave each of them a hug and left, walking back to the house. When I walked in, I saw Nick and Kevin in the living room. "Hey, where's Joe?" I asked them.

"Upstairs." Nick said. I thanked him and went up to his room. I saw him sitting on the edge of his bed, thinking.

"Hey," He looked up, just realizing I was there. He took in a deep breath and stood up. I closed the door and leaned against it. I expected Joe to yell or to 'ban me from smoking' but instead, he walked over to me and hugged me. I froze, completely in shock, resting my hands lightly on his back; not even as tight as I used to hug him. "Joe, I-"

"Please don't say anything." He hugged me even tighter. My eyes watered as I squeezed my arms around him even more.

"I-I can't." I let him go. Joe slowly released his arms from me. I didn't want to look into his eyes but when I did, I could see tears about to fall. "I can't." I shook my head and walked out, grabbing my bag and going straight to my car. As soon as I sat in the drivers seat, I locked my doors and burst into tears. I screamed louder than I ever have before and rested my head on the steering wheel as tears fell all over it.

I couldn't take this anymore. I put my keys in the ignition and started the car, driving out of the garage. Once I hit the highway, I slowly pressed my foot on the breaks as I went faster and faster. My face was now soaking and when I looked out the window, I couldn't even recognize the cars. I realized what I was doing and hit the breaks. I just drove. Where to? No idea. But I didn't stop.


	29. It's Over

I've probably been driving for about two hours by now. I had stopped crying but I still couldn't think straight. I knew I couldn't go back to the house, but where could I go? I decided to call Thomas.

_"Hello?"_

"Hey, are you still in LA?" I asked.

_"Yea, what's going on? You sound different."_

"Umm, it's a long story. Do you think I can drop by your hotel?"

_"Yea, of course. It's kinda far, though."_

"It's fine. I'm going for a drive any way." I got the address from him then hung up. Since I had already driven a couple hours from the house, the hotel he was staying at was only a half hour away.

When I arrived, I grabbed my bag and locked the car, then made my way inside, to the floor he was on. When I found his room, I knocked on the door, waiting a few seconds for him to open it.

"Hey," He said and pulled me into a hug. He saw my eyes watering again and pulled me inside, closing and locking the door. "What's going on, Jael?" I shook my head, not being able to talk as the tears slid down. We both sat on the couch, me leaning against his chest and crying. "It's okay, take your time." I tried calming down as best as I could, then explained to him everything I was feeling. I talked to him about Charlotte, Joe, and just me in general. How I've been feeling like complete shit lately, my depression has gotten worse and my insomnia has been taking over me, plus that I haven't eaten in days.

"What are you gonna do about Joe?" He asked after I finished talking.

"I don't know. I love him but…I think it's over. I can't continue our relationship when I'm like this. Plus, we're both always working so we can never see each other, anyway. I just…I need time away from him. But I can't stand leaving him like this. But I feel like it's the only thing I can do."

"If you feel that it's right, then do it. As soon as possible. Because once it's over with, he won't be a burden on your shoulders anymore."

"But he's not the burden. I am."

"No, you're not. You're sick, Jael. You can't control what's happening in your life." I knew he was right. "Look, I care about you Jael. More then I care about pretty much anyone else. I don't want to see you hurting anymore. It's hurting me." I nodded and sighed.

"I have to do it. I can feel it. But expect me crying for about a week." He chuckled.

"Will do."

I spent the night that night and woke up about every half-hour. By seven o'clock, I decided to just stay up. After I got out of the shower, I did my make up and hair, then grabbed my cigarettes and went on the roof, making sure I walked out quietly so I didn't wake Thomas.

I smoked about four cigarettes, just thinking about everything. Evan called me and told me that we had a meeting with our Producer at 12:00. I went back inside and saw Thomas in the kitchen so I walked in.

"Hey," He said when he turned around and saw me. He gave me a hug then handed me a mug filled with coffee. I put the cream I wanted then we both went to the living room. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Not really."

"What time do you plan on leaving?"

"In a few minutes, actually. I have a meeting at twelve, so I have to leave soon since it's a long drive." He nodded. Once I finished my coffee, I put my mug in the sink then said bye to Thomas. I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for comforting me, Thomas. You're a good friend."

"Anytime."

I had driven back to the house and made sure my clothes, hair, and make up were fine, then I met the boys at the recording studio. I saw them all in the piano room, sitting at a table by the window with our producer.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." I said as I walked in. "I was spending the night at a friends and he's staying at a hotel like, two hours away."

"It's alright, Jael. As long as you're here now." Howard said. As I took a seat next to Matt, Jesse looked at me and knew something was wrong. He gave me a look and I just shook my head and looked away.

"You're not too late, Jael, which is good because I haven't given the guys the announcement. So," He paused and took something out of a bag but hid it under the desk. "You guys worked extremely hard on this album, and I'm proud to say that it's completely finished." He pulled out our actual, completed album from under the desk and I gasped instantly. Howard handed it to me and I leaned against the table, as the other guys did, and opened the CD case. I flipped through the booklet, and honestly, my eyes began to tear.

"We're finally done now." I said, calmly. "We're a band with an album. How fucking amazing is that?" Everyone laughed. I wiped my tears and hugged Howard. "Thank you for being an amazing producer."

"Of course."

"So when does our album start selling?" Matt asked.

"Well, they're currently in the process of making millions of them. But this album has been actually done for about a week now, so give them a couple more weeks and I'll give you a call the second I found out that they're in stores."

"Okay, that sounds like a plan." Evan said. "Thank you so much Benson." We all thanked him and he walked with us to the door. Evan and Jesse shook his hand, then Matt turned to him with a crazy smile on his face, and he quickly spread his arms out and gave him a tight ass hug. Howard and I laughed.

"Thank you so much. You don't understand how much this means to me." I told him.

"You're welcome. I hope you guys will use me as your producer on your next album."

"Of course."

The guys didn't have a car, so they just took a taxi here. I gave them a ride and instead of dropping them off at their place, we decided to go to Panera. As we were driving, I put my sunglasses on because my eyes watered instantly and a couple tears slid out. I quickly wiped them and thankfully, the guys didn't say anything.

Once we got to Panera, I ordered a coffee and the guys got what they wanted and we all sat down in the booth at the back. I took my sunglasses off and set them on the table.

"Alright Jael, what's going on?" Matt asked. I looked up at him and Evan, and it seemed like they knew something was wrong from the start.

"Umm," I said, my voice sounding shaky. My eyes watered instantly. "I'm gonna break up with Joe." I said simply without looking at any of them, and took a sip of my coffee.

"Why?" I shook my head.

"I'm just too much for him. He thinks he can try and help me, but he can't. I'm just getting worse and worse and even if he could, I never see him cause of our different schedules." I shrugged. "It's just over." My eyes filled with so many tears that I couldn't even see the guys. I blinked and they fell. Jesse gave me a hug and the tears kept on coming.

"You can come and stay over at our place, okay? You know you're welcome anytime." Jesse said.

"I know. Thank you."

We left after about a half hour. I stayed at the guys place for a couple hours, then left to the house around eight. As soon as I walked in, I went into my room and started packing everything. It took a couple hours but I eventually got everything done. I wrote a letter to Joe explaining everything and set it on his bed. I got one suitcase into the car but when I was getting the other, I ran into Joe in the hallway where our rooms were. He looked down at my suitcase then back up to me.

"What's going on?" He asked calmly but I heard some fear in his voice.

"I-" I didn't know what to say. "It's over..Joe."

"What?"

"I wrote you a-a note. It's on your bed, it explains everything. But I have to go." I wouldn't look him in the eye at all and started walking past him. Before I got even nearly close to the steps, he grabbed my arm and turned me back around.

"We need to talk about this."

"We can talk about it later."

"You are leaving me. We need to talk about this now." I sighed and nodded. We walked into his room and he set his things down. I saw how confused and distraught he looked and instantly my eyes watered. "What's going on, Jael?"

"This isn't going to work." I whispered because I didn't want him to hear the pain in my voice. "I just…I'm too much of a hassle to you. I have too many things going on and you can't help me."

"But we can work-"

"No we can't. And you know we can't. I'm not gonna lie to myself anymore and say that it's okay if I bring my burdens upon you because it's not okay. It's not okay at all." I was crying a lot now. "And I'm not gonna let you lie to yourself and say that you can help me because you can't." I noticed Joe's eyes watering. "I love you, Joe. With everything in me, but…this isn't going to work. I'm sorry." I turned around to walk away but he stopped me.

"Is there any way I can change your mind?" I shook my head.

"No. I'm sorry." He walked over to me and pulled my into the tightest hug, and this time I actually hugged him back.

"I still love you, Jael." A whole new wave of tears formed and I started sobbing.

"I love you too." I managed to say. "And I'll always love you. You changed my life in a way that nobody else could and I will never be able to thank you enough. But I have to go now, Joe." I tried pulling away but he wouldn't let go. "Joe," I took in a deep breath. "Please let me go." He slowly pulled away and I saw the tears sliding down his cheeks. "I'm sorry."

I walked out of his room, grabbing my suitcase and going to my car. I put my suitcase in the back seat and as soon as I got in my car, I cried. I cried the whole way to the guys' house. I rang the doorbell and when Evan closed the door, he saw the tears running down my face and pulled me into the tightest hug. He closed the door and hugged me even tighter.

I was sobbing uncontrollably and couldn't stop. Jesse and Matt were sitting in their basement living room and when they saw me, both of them walked up to me, hugged me, and led me to the couch.

All night, I cried. The guys led me to the room they had for me and made sure I laid down. All three of them laid around me and stayed there the whole night with me. I wanted to tell them to go and sleep in their own rooms but I could barely breath. All this crying wasn't just for Joe and they knew that. It was for Charlotte, my mother, my father, and everything else. I was letting everything out for the first time in months. As much as it felt like this huge weight was falling off my shoulders, I felt like Evan, Matt, and Jesse were suffering by trying to make me feel better.

Everything I do makes the people I love in pain. Why can't I just make people happy?


	30. Happy Birthday

I hadn't slept at all last night. And by morning, I felt numb. I didn't want to move or breath or anything. I was finally able to let the guys go to their rooms, even though they didn't want to. But I couldn't leave them to see me like this.

I was lying on my back, not thinking, not moving, just staring at the plain ceiling above me. A few hours had passed and it was around twelve in the afternoon by now. I still didn't move.

Once everyone had finally gotten up, I expected them to come in my room but they didn't. I heard Caity's voice and I knew they were explaining to her what happened.

"Where is she?" I heard her say and she walked in, closing the door behind her. "Hey hun," I didn't even look at her. She sat beside me as I was still lying down. "So the doctor called," Even though I didn't move, she knew I was listening. "And I'm pregnant!" She said only loud enough so the guys wouldn't hear. I'm happy for her. I really am. But why can't I show her how I feel? "I wasn't really sure how I would feel but since she actually said I was, I just smiled and started crying." I wish I was there to see her get the news. "I have to go back to Dr. Montgomery in a few days for a bunch of other tests and I know you said you would take me, so I was just letting you know." She was acting like nothing changed. And that made me want to smile. But I couldn't.

Caity put her hand in mine.

"I know you're not okay." She all of a sudden stopped pretending like nothing happened. "But I love you, Jael. Can you at least squeeze my hand to let me know you're listening?" I squeezed her hand as tight as I could and blinked. Caity smiled. "Sit up for me, okay? Come on, let me help you." She helped me sit up and I scooted back so I was resting my back against the headboard. "Are you gonna say anything?"

"I-" My throat was dry so it came out as a whisper. "I have no words." I saw Caity's eyes water and that made mine water too. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I just want to know that you're gonna be alright." I shrugged.

"I can't think. I can barely breath. And my body is numb." I started crying even more. "I don't know what's happening to me, Caity. Help me." Caity had tears sliding down her cheeks.

"I'll do everything I can, okay?" She gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Just _don't_ do anything stupid. Please." She meant kill myself. I knew it.

"I won't."

Caity helped me get out of bed. I could barely walk but I tried to make my way into the bathroom. Caity closed and locked the door behind her and turned the water in the tub on for me so I could take a bath. I tried my best to take my clothes off but it felt like my arms and legs didn't want to move. When Caity realized this, she helped me take the rest off and helped me into the tub once the water filled to the right level.

Caity rolled her sweats up so that she could have her legs in the tub.

"Jael," I looked up at Caity. "Happy birthday." It was my birthday today. I completely forgot. She pulled a small box out of her pocket and gave it to me. "It's not everything I got you, but I wanted to make you happy. So here." My eyes watered instantly. I opened the box and it was a tiny plane; like the one from Lost. I looked up at Caity.

"I got one for me too. I just thought it could be our thing, you know? And I'll let my kid play with it too." I nodded.

"I love it, thank you." I put it back in the box and Caity put it on the counter. She helped me finish my bath and then afterwards, we got out. I grabbed Jesse's robe and quickly brushed my teeth, then went back to my room with Caity.

"Where are your clothes?" She asked me.

"My suitcases are in my car. You don't have to get it now, though. I just want to chill like this for a little."

"Okay. Whenever you want me to get it, just tell me."

"I will." I threw my pile of clothes in the corner.

"Ready to go out to the guys?" I nodded.

"Have you told Matt yet?"

"No, I'm gonna tell him tonight."

We both walked out to the living room to see the guys just talking. Once they saw me, all three of them stood up.

"Morning," Evan said and gave me a hug.

"Hey," I gave Matt and Jesse a hug, then sat next to Jesse as Matt sat between Caity and Evan.

"How're you feeling?" Matt asked me.

"Like shit." I replied honestly.

"Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?" Jesse asked and I shrugged.

"Probably not."

"She couldn't even get out of bed this morning. I think she just needs time to think." Caity said. "Jael, how about we go to a salon. I know you probably don't feel like going anywhere right now, but we can get massages and mani/pedicures, facials…acupuncture?" I smiled. "It'll be really relaxing. Please?" I sighed and nodded.

"Kay." The guys brought my suitcases in and I changed into an old pair of ripped jeans and a black, oversized pullover hoodie. I put on a random pair of flip-flops then grabbed my phone and iPod. "Caity," I said, tears slowly filling my eyes. "I don't think I can go out." We were both in my room. "I'm not presentable right now."

"Look, all you have to do while we're there is listen to your iPod. Don't listen to anybody, don't even think, just listen to the music and no one will bother you. I promise." I took in a deep breath and nodded, then we left. Caity drove for me since she knew I wouldn't be able to.

When we arrived, Caity told something to the lady up front and we were both led somewhere completely private then the rest of the store.

"Caity, did you make an appointment for us before I even said yes?" I said, knowing she did.

"Maybe." I rolled my eyes and forced a smile smiled as we took a seat. A few hours had gone past and we had just finished the massaging. I stretched and I felt like every bone in my back cracked but in a good way. We were led to another room for acupuncture. The woman left the room to let us relax a little before our acupuncturist came in.

"How're you feeling so far?" Caity asked me. "And be honest." I sighed.

"Look, all of this is nice, it really is. The massages felt great and the mani/pedicures were really needed, the facial too, but this isn't just a random guy I had a crush on. I literally feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and I'm in pain all the time." My eyes watered. "The whole time we have been out of the house, I've been holding in tears and trying to enjoy myself but it's just not working. None of this is. I'm sorry, I know you're trying. But-"

"Stop." I stopped talking. "I didn't expect this to work. I know you more than anyone and this of all things is definitely not gonna make _you_ especially, feel better. But you're stressed. This is taking at least some relief off you and that's what matters." I did feel a lot more relaxed than before, which made me feel a little better, but that was just my body. My mind was spinning out of control.

Eventually, the acupuncturist walked in. He stuck needles on our faces and set a timer for when he was supposed to take them out. When he walked out, I sighed.

"What's supposed to happen?" I asked Caity.

"After a few minutes, I guess everything is just supposed to come out and make you feel better. Even if it doesn't help, it's good for you either way." She was right. After a couple minutes, I felt like my emotions turned into one huge ball and I just started crying.

"Caity," I took in a deep breath from sobbing. "I need to get out of here." She nodded.

"The timer is almost done." My crying just got worse and worse and all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room and scream until my lungs bled. Finally the timer went off. I tried to stop crying before the acupuncturist walked in. When he walked in, he started taking the needles out of our faces.

"I can see that you're very emotional right now." He said to me. "And this is normal. It'll stop in a couple hours, it's just trying to let everything out and you'll feel better." Caity and I sat up. When we walked to the front desk, I paid her even though Caity wanted to, and we both left. Literally the second we got in the car, I began sobbing.

"Jael, you're starting to scare me." Caity said after ten minutes of driving. "The guys told me you were crying this bad yesterday but no where near as bad as I thought. Is this just because of Joe?" I shook my head.

"It's everything! Even yesterday it was everything! I can't stop crying because it hurts! It hurts so much!"

"Jael, you're making me cry. It's your birthday, we're going to see Charlotte tonight, please-" My sobbing grew louder, which made Caity stop talking.

Once we finally got home, we walked in and she helped me up to the living room. Evan wasn't there but Matt and Jesse came running to me, looking worried.

"What happened?" Matt asked. Caity had her arms around me, trying to make me stop.

"She just can't stop crying."

"Same reason as yesterday?" Caity nodded. Jesse traded place with her and had me rest my head on his chest.

"Can you guys leave us alone for a bit?" Jesse asked Matt and Caity, and they said yes and walked into another room. "Jael, look at me." I shook my head. "You know this has always worked since we were in middle school. Look into my eyes." I tried calming down even though it didn't do anything, then looked into his eyes. I rested my forehead against his and he put his hands on either side of my face.

I was still crying, but surprisingly it got a little better.

"It's not working." I told him.

"Just give it a minute. Don't think, just clear your mind of everything." I took in a deep breath and cleared my mind of every thought I had. Every feeling. Without me realizing it, I didn't feel tears fall off my jaw. "There you go. All better." He moved his hands so that mine were in his. "Now let's go get ready for your birthday." He led me to my room and after I chose what I was going to wear, he left. I got dressed, trying my hardest not to think of anything.

I did my make up, did little touch ups to my hair, put on a beanie while letting my bangs still stick out, then put my shoes on. I walked out to the living room where everyone was, including Evan, and sat next to Jesse.

"Do you know when we're leaving?" He asked me and I shook my head.

"I'll call Kris." I pulled my phone out and called him

"_Hello?"_

"Hey, when do you and Jac think you'll leave to go to the hospital?"

"_We're actually at the grocery store getting junk food now. Can you tell me how many people are gonna be there so we know what to get?"_

"Yea; me, Caity, Matt, Jesse, Evan, Charlotte, Kiwi, Thomas, you, and Jac. That's nine all together."

"_Joe isn't coming?"_ I looked down.

"No. He's busy."

"_Okay. Is there anything you recommend we get?"_

"Umm, Doritos and Pirate Booty?" I also asked the guys and Caity if they wanted anything but they all said no.

"_Okay."_

"Is there anything specific you want me to bring? Like, bowls or something?"

"_No, we got paper plates, bowls, and cups already so we're all good."_

"Alright. We'll see you guys in a little bit. Call me when you get here and either me or someone else will meet you and bring you up. Love both of you, bye." I hung up the phone. "We should probably get going soon. We have to get Kiwi as well."

"I already texted him." Caity said. "He's already ready, he's just waiting for us."

"You guys wanna leave now, then?" Evan asked.

"Sure." Matt replied. "Jael, can you go start the car and we'll be right down? I need the guys to help me look for where they hid my shoes."

"Okay. Caity, you comin?" I asked her.

"Yea, I just need to put my shoes on."

"Kay, I'll meet you guys in the car." I quickly grabbed my bag and went down to the car. As soon as I closed the door to the drivers seat, I took in a deep breath and sighed. Jesse did help me stop crying, but I didn't expect it to work completely. And it didn't. Yea, I stopped crying, but it doesn't mean that what I was feeling before just drifted away. It still hurt…a lot. But I held in these tears a lot better and started the car, putting in a CD of a band called A Perfect Circle. Caity sat next to me and the guys sat in the back. Once we arrived at Kiwi's, he was already waiting out front. When he walked up to the car and opened the backseat, he sighed.

"Oh my. Who's lap am I sitting on?" We all laughed. Caity stepped out of the car and let Kiwi sit in the front as she sat on Matt's lap. "Hey, Jael. Happy birthday." He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you."

We made our way to the hospital. When I walked in to Charlotte's room, she smiled.

"Hi Jael! Happy Birthday." She had a huge grin on her face.

"Hey, baby." I gave her a hug and a kiss. "Thank you. You remember Caity, and Kiwi, right?" She nodded. "And this is Evan, Matt, and Jesse. Kris and Jac should be here in a little bit. Thomas should too. I'll go call him to see where he is." I stepped out of the room really quick and called him. "Hey, are you still coming to the hospital?"

"_Yea, I'll be there in about twenty minutes."_

"Okay, see you then." I hung up the phone and walked back into the room.

"Jael, guess what?" Charlotte said.

"What?"

"My doctors are letting me get out of bed today." She removed the blanket and stepped out of her bed. I gasped and smiled. She ran to me as I got on my knees and gave me a really tight hug. My eyes instantly began to water. "Happy Birthday." She whispered in my ear. My eyes watered even more. I really, really, didn't want her to go. I just wanted to hold her in my arms forever because I felt like if I let go, she would die. "You gotta let me go now, Jael." I nodded as more tears slipped out and let her go.

"What did Thomas say?" Caity asked.

"Umm," I wiped my tears, trying to contain myself. "That he would be here in twenty minutes." I felt my phone vibrate, saying I had a text.

_**Hey, we're here. Jac and I are waiting in the lobby. Send down Caity, would you? Jac really wants to meet her.**_

_Okay. She'll be right down._

I told Caity what they said and she went down. I sat on the bed next to Charlotte. Every time I looked at her, I couldn't help but think about what the doctor said about her.

"Are you okay, Jael?" Charlie asked me.

"Umm, yea. I'm good. What about you, hun, how are you feeling?" The guys were walking around and talking about shit so they weren't paying attention to what Charlotte and I were talking about.

"I'm good."

"You sure? You're not lying to me, are you?"

"No. I'm done lying. I'm gonna die soon so I'm gonna say the truth from now on. I honestly feel really good today." I smiled.

"Good. And you're not gonna die. I promise." Kris and Jac walked up.

"Happy birthday, Jael!" They screamed with bags in each of their hands.

"Hey, thank you." I smiled and gave both of them a hug. "Where's Caity?"

"She's coming." Jac replied. "Hey Charlie." Kris and Jac gave Charlotte a hug, then I saw Thomas walk up.

"I'll be right back." I told them and stepped outside the room. "Hey," He turned around and smiled.

"Hey, happy birthday." He gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Look, I didn't bring a present with me but I'm gonna take you out one night, okay? Just you and me." I smiled and nodded.

"Okay. What's in the bag?" I asked, just noticing a medium sized bag in his hand.

"Just a bunch of candles. I want tonight to be fun. And it's only fun if all the lights are off and candles are lit." I smiled.

"Of course. Come on. I want you to meet my band and a couple friends." I introduced Thomas to Jac, Kris, and my band. He gave Charlotte a hug and a kiss on the cheek and I smiled as she brightened up. Thomas lit all the candles in different parts of the room and turned off the lights.

"Okay, now," Evan said. "It's present time."

"Oh, you guys didn't!" They all nodded.

"Jael, may I borrow your car keys?" Matt asked. I sighed and nodded, taking my car keys out of my bag and handing it to him. Everybody left the room except Thomas and Charlie.

"Well damn." I said and they both laughed. I took a seat on the ground, leaning against the bed and brought my knees up to my chest. A few minutes later, Caity came up.

"Jael, close your eyes and no peaking!" Caity said. I placed my hands over my eyes and rested my head against my thighs. I heard a lot of feet shuffling around me and laughed.

"You guys done?" I asked.

"Yes. Open." Jac said. When I removed my hands, I was shocked to see quite a few boxes there.

"Damn, you guys went all out!" They laughed.

"Me first!" Jac yelled as she grabbed a small box. She handed it to me and when I opened it, I was shocked to see really gorgeous rings.

"Oh my gosh, thank you!" I gave her a hug then sat back down. I put the rings on right away.

"And I," Caity said as she lifted a box and handed it to me. She kneeled down beside me and opened the box. "Got you these skirts." They were two, very beautiful skirts. They came down to my feet and the strings in the front to tighten it had little bells hanging off them. I gasped.

"Oh my gosh!" I put them back in the box and squeezed Caity really tight.

"So," Kiwi said. "I kinda forgot today was your birthday, so me and Caity ran to a head shop and got you something that I can't say right now. So it's not with us. BUT, I did buy you a pack of cigarettes." He pulled them out of his pocket and handed it to me. We all laughed and I put them in my bag.

"Thanks Kiwi," I hugged him.

"And I got you a bunch of painting shit." Jesse said. "I didn't bring it cause it was too heavy and I was kinda lazy," I laughed. "But, you'll love it. I promise." I hugged him as well. Matt surprised me by pulling out a can of party spray and spraying it all over my head. I got it all off and threw it back at him.

"Ass." I muttered. Evan got me batman mug and t-shirt since he knows I'm in love with the comics and movies/TV show. I gave him a hug too. Kris got me a huge teddy bear, which was insanely comfortable.

"Okay, now it's my turn." Charlotte said I turned around and looked up at her.

"Oh, baby, you didn't have to get me anything."

"But I wanted to." I smiled. "Close your eyes." I closed them and a few seconds later, I felt something fuzzy on my lap. I opened my eyes and gasped. The most adorable kitten was sitting on my lap, purring.

"Oh my god!" My eyes watered as I lifted the kitten so it was eye level.

"I got a bunch of kitty supplies for you. They're in your car." Kris told me. I gave Charlie the tightest hug I could give her, then Kris.

"Oh my gosh, you guys are amazing." I pet the kitten and it seemed like it liked me instantly.

"What're you gonna name her?" Charlie asked me.

"I don't know. You decide. What should I name her?"

"Charlotte. So you can remember me when I'm gone." My eyes watered again. I gave Charlie a hug and kissed her on her forehead.

"Okay. Charlotte it is, then."

For the next couple hours, all we did was eat junk food, talk, and laugh. About around nine o'clock, Charlotte's nurse came in and told everyone that she had to go to sleep now.

"Jael," Thomas said to me so only I could hear. "Can you and me hang out for a couple hours, and then I'll drop you back off at your place?" I nodded.

"Guys," I said to Evan, Matt, Jesse, Caity, and Kiwi. "I'm gonna stay with Thomas for a little bit. Matt, you still have the car keys, so you guys can go." They nodded. "Let me help you put the stuff in the car, first."

"No, don't worry about it." Matt said. "We got it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup."

"Thank you." I gave everyone a hug and thanked them for an amazing birthday, then said bye to Charlotte and left with Thomas.

"Is your hotel still a couple hours away?" I asked him as we started to drive.

"No, I changed it so it was only ten minutes away." I smiled that he did that for me. I pulled out the pack of cigarettes that Kiwi got me and opened it. "Do you need a lighter?"

"No, I have." I pulled the lighter out of my bag and lit my cigarette. I rolled down my window a little so the smoke would get out the car.

"Did you break up with Joe yet?" I took in a deep breath and sighed.

"Yea. Just last night."

"And how are you doing now?" My eyes watered but I made sure no tears fell out.

"I've been holding in my tears since I got in my car, on the way to the hospital." I said honestly. "I've been crying all last night and all this morning. Partly because of Joe, and mostly because of everything else." I looked at him and I knew he was listening. "A few days ago when I came to visit Charlotte, I asked the nurse how she was doing and-" I held in my sob once more. "And they said it would be a miracle if she made it past New Years." Thomas's eyes widened.

"Oh my god. I'm sorry. Why aren't you crying now?" He asked as he pulled into a parking space to the hotel.

"I'm an actor. I'm holding them in." I looked back at him with an expressionless look on my face, then opened the car door and stepped out. I lit another cigarette as Thomas lit his first one since we were in the car. I followed him behind the building and through the back door, which was closer to the room he was staying in.

"Roof?" He asked me and I nodded. "And don't worry, this is a smoking hotel. You can smoke wherever and whenever you want."

We got up to the roof. I sighed because of how beautiful it was and walked over to the wall so I could see the view better.

"You're just hurting yourself, you know that?" Thomas said. I turned around and he was looking at me with intense eyes. "Holding in your feelings. You're just gonna make yourself more miserable."

"What else can I do? These feelings I have aren't going away. So I'm not gonna go crying every single day, waiting for it to end. Because it won't. Shit is still gonna happen, and my life is just gonna get worse and worse."

"Okay." Was all he would say. Because he knew nothing would change my mind. Once my cigarette finished, I lit another and sighed. "Just know that this isn't gonna only hurt you. But it'll hurt the people that love and care about you too. All of this will bite you in the ass. I just hope you don't hurt yourself even more when you realize this."

Later that night, Thomas took me home. It was around 1:00AM and Matt was the only one awake. I walked over to him on the couch, and sat beside him.

"She's pregnant." He stated.

"I know." It was quiet for a couple minutes. "Where is she?"

"Asleep."

"How are you feeling?"

"I…I don't know. I never thought I would be a father, but…I'm happy. I feel like I can do this."

"You can. I know it."

"Thanks, Jael." He gave me a hug then got up and went to his room.

The next few days had come and gone, like nothing even happened. I haven't left the house. Barely left my room. And my beautiful kitten would sleep beside me every night, as I wished I could sleep as peaceful as she did. Within the next couple weeks, the album got out and Jesse told me it was selling really well.

It was now December 20th. Christmas was coming and all I wanted to do was stay in bed. What's wrong with me? I haven't visited Charlotte in weeks and I'm worried. I'm scared to go because I know she's gonna be worse, but I need to leave because she needs my support and my love. I'm all she has.

Once I was done getting ready, I got in my car and drove to the hospital. As soon as I reached her room, through the window I saw a couple nurses around her and Charlotte had a breathing mask on her face. I quickly opened the door.

"What's going on?" I said. I looked at Charlotte and she looked so weak; so fragile.

"She had a small episode. Don't worry, Jael. She's fine." I looked at the nurse like she was crazy.

"Fine?" I yelled. "No, she's not! Why do you fucking doctors have to lie about everything? Just say the truth for once!" I didn't know what was wrong with me. But I couldn't stop. "Just get out!" My face was covered in tears. The nurses nodded and left. I took in a deep breath and turned towards Charlotte.

"I'm sorry." She shook her head but I could tell she could barely move. "Are you in pain?" She shook her head again. I walked beside her and carefully laid under her as I stroked her hair. "I'm sorry I haven't visited for a while." I noticed a small Christmas tree at the corner of the room. "Merry Christmas, baby." Charlie moved the oxygen mask so she could speak.

"Jael," Her voice was raspy. "I'm not gonna be here-"

"Don't say that." I interrupted as I shook my head. "You're going to make it till Christmas and past new years." She shook her head.

"But I'm not." More tears slid down my face. "I can feel it in me, Jael. I'm leaving." I shook my head as I squeezed her even tighter. She was right. I knew it. But I didn't want to believe it.

"What do you want for Christmas, Charlie?" I asked, holding in my tears. "What do you want for Christmas?"

"I just want you to be here with me." I nodded.

"I will. I promise."

**[READ] So this is what I decided to do. I will upload a couple more chapters after this one and then I'll make another sequel. The Camp Rock story was basically just a back up, Her Life is you getting to know Jael better, and the next one, I don't know what I'm gonna call it yet, but you're going to go through her struggles, interviews, concerts movies, etc. I finally know where I'm going with this story and I hope you guys stay reading it. I do realize how depressing it can get, but I have a plan. I promise.**


	31. Merry Christmas, Princess Charlotte

I didn't leave Charlotte's side for the next few days. She was getting worse and worse. And this time, I knew she wouldn't get better. Even if it were for a day. Her time is coming. And I'm gonna lose her. For good.

It was 9AM, Christmas morning when Charlotte woke up.

"Hey, baby. Merry Christmas." I said as I got up from the chair beside her bed and gave her a hug.

"Merry Christmas, Jael." She mumbled. I could tell she was still really tired.

"Do you want me to get you anything to eat or drink?"

"No." She shook her head. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Okay. Go back to sleep, all right? I know you're really tired." I kissed her forehead and stepped out, walking to the cafeteria to get some coffee. My phone rang, and when I looked at the caller I.D, it said Evan.

"Hey," I said when I picked up.

"_Hey. How is she?"_ I told everyone else what was going on with Charlotte, and told them that I would be spending as much time with her as possible. They all understood, allowing me to stay at the hospital.

"Sick. What's going on?" I tried avoiding the subject, but it came out a lot ruder than intended.

"_We just wanted to say Merry Christmas. From me, Caity, and the other guys."_ I sighed and smiled.

"Thank you. Merry Christmas to you too. I'll try to visit you guys today. But she is getting worse, so if I don't, I love all of you guys so much. Merry Christmas." I hung up the phone and walked back to Charlotte's room after I got my coffee. I took a seat in the chair that was beside her bed. Charlotte looked so fragile and young. She doesn't deserve to die. She has a good spirit, so why is 'god' taking her away from me. First my grandmother, then my mother, and now Charlotte. My real father won't even talk to me and the man that once was known as my father wants to kill me. Is this some sort of sick game to him? I am hurt. I am in pain because of this. What did I do to deserve this? I just want to be happy.

I didn't realize I was crying till afterwards. I noticed Charlotte waking up again, so I quickly wiped my tears and drank more of my coffee.

"Good morning, Jael." Charlotte said and sat up.

"Morning, Charlotte."

"Is it snowing outside?"

"Not yet but it's pretty damn cold." She giggled.

"I want to be awake for Christmas, Jael. Okay? We spent Halloween, your birthday, and my birthday together. I want to spend Christmas with you too because it'll be the last one I'll ever have and it has to be with someone I love." I smiled.

"Okay. I'll make sure you stay awake."

"Thank you."

Like the past few days I've been staying here, Charlotte and I just talked and talked for hours. Sometime during the afternoon when she fell asleep, I decided to go visit the guys. When I got to the house, I unlocked the door and went up to the living room. Kiwi, Matt, Evan, Jesse, and Caity were all sitting on the couches and I saw my kitten resting on Jesse's lap.

"Hey guys." I gave all of them hugs. In the corner of the living room by the fireplace was a Christmas tree with presents under. "How come you didn't open presents yet?" I asked as I took a seat next to Jesse. Charlie stretched on his lap then came over and sat on mine. I stroked her head and stomach as I talked to the guys and Caity.

"We were gonna wait till you came over to open them." Kiwi said.

"You guys don't have to. Okay, how about this. I'll come over again later tonight when Charlotte goes to sleep, and I'll bring presents for you guys, and then we can all chill till three o'clock in the morning like old times."

"Sounds good." Matt replied and everyone agreed.

"Good." I heard Caity moan then run to the bathroom.

"Morning sickness." Matt said, and was about to get up.

"Don't worry, I got it." I set Charlie down and went to the bathroom Caity ran in. I held her hair up until she finished vomiting. "You okay?"

"Ugh, yea. I feel like shit, though. Throwing up is the worst thing ever." She flushed the toilet and rinsed her mouth, then sat down on the ground beside me.

"What did Dr. Montgomery say when you went the second time. Is the baby okay?"

"She doesn't know anything yet since it's so early in the pregnancy. But I've been eating better and all that stuff so I'm just trying to be careful." I nodded.

"And how's Matt reacting towards all of this?"

"He's good." She smiled. "Great, actually. He's been taking care of me and treating me really well.

"Good. I'm happy for you. So have you guys thought of names yet?"

"Not one." We both laughed. "I didn't realize how hard it would be. But whatever." She shrugged. "I have 9 months to decide."

We left the bathroom and went back to the guys. I talked with them for another hour then went to my room and got my art supplies and drove back to the hospital. Charlotte was still sleeping so I just painted until she woke up.

I was still drawing the picture I was going to paint when Charlotte woke up.

"Hey," She mumbled. "What are you painting?"

"It might take me a while but you'll have to wait and see. It's a surprise." She smiled.

"Okay."

I continued drawing/painting for the next couple hours as Charlotte and I talked. Surprisingly, Thomas came and stopped by to see how she was doing. He couldn't stay long because he had an audition, but seeing him made Charlotte happy.

"Jael, can I talk to you outside for a minute, please?" I nodded and we both walked out.

"What's going on?" I asked him.

"I have to get going, but Merry Christmas." He pulled out a small box from his pocket and handed it to me. I looked up at him then back down at the box and opened it. "It's a bunch of Polaroid's of when we were on the roof that one night and when we were smoking and drinking wine in my hotel room. You can go threw them inside, but I just wanted you to have them." I smiled.

"Thank you." I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll see you later." I closed the box and went back inside. Charlotte had fallen back asleep so I sat back down in front of my painting and looked through the pictures. They all turned out amazing. I put the stack back in the box and finished painting the picture.

A couple hours later, it was around eight o'clock when Charlotte woke up.

"Did I fall asleep again?" She mumbled.

"Yes, but don't worry, it's still Christmas. And I have a surprise for you."

"What is it?" She sat up and I noticed that she had lost so much more weight. Even the bags under her eyes got darker and it seemed like her big blue eyes were turning into a dull grey.

"Umm," I looked at the painting. I ripped the page off the stack it was connected to and gave it to Charlotte. She gasped.

"Is that me?" I smiled.

"Yea. Remember that movie I watched with you called Princess Mononoke?" She nodded.

"That was kind of my inspiration on it. You're Princess Charlotte." I saw her eyes water and tears slide down her cheeks.

"Thank you so much, Jael." She gave me the tightest hug she could, but I felt like I could barely feel her. Like she was just an aura around my body.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on the door. When it opened, her nurse walked in with a bag in her hand.

"Hey, Charlotte. People donated enough money and we got all the patients goody bags. I put this one together myself." She handed her the bag. "I hope you feel better." She walked out. I didn't realize I had tears sliding down my cheeks till afterwards. I quickly wiped them and sat on the bed next to Charlotte. She scooted over so that her head was resting on my lap. When she opened the bag, there was some candy, a card, and some bracelets. She put them on right away and split the candy she got with me.

It was around ten o'clock when I realized how tired Charlotte looked. I cleared her bed of everything and just stroked her hair as she fell asleep. I hadn't slept at all that night and Charlotte only woke up once the next day. I called the guys, explaining that I wouldn't make it last night. I knew they understood and let me stay at the hospital.

During the next couple days, I couldn't stop crying. I hadn't moved from the spot I was in since Christmas and all Charlotte did was sleep. The nurse had to change a lot of her medicine so it was put straight into the IV since she couldn't swallow her pills.

It was the day before New Years when she woke up and stayed awake for more than five minutes.

"How long was I sleeping for?" She asked me.

"A couple days." I whispered.

"Jael," She cleared her throat and sighed. I knew what she was going to say but I didn't want to hear it. "I can feel it. It's almost time for me to go." I shook my head and looked up as I tried to hold in my sobs. "I need to tell you what I want after I die."

"Okay." I whispered.

"I don't want a funeral, I don't want to be cremated," Her eyes were shut the whole time. I knew she was too weak to even open them. "I just want to be buried peacefully." She knew I was crying. She was squeezing my hand the whole time she was talking and felt me shaking. "I want you to decide where I should be buried." The tighter she squeezed my hand, the more I cried.

"Okay."

"And take these bracelets." She took them off her wrist and gave them to me. "I want you to have something to remember me by."

"I will always remember you."

**This is the picture Jael painted of Charlotte. Pretend the white lines aren't there. And don't forget to erase the spaces!**

**http ****:/ s249. photobucket ** . com/albums/gg227/brokenontheinside/?action= view(and sign)current= tumblr_lef0xbsE2y1qarjaso1_500 . jpg


	32. The End

Charlotte died that night. When I heard the flat line, my heart just sunk. The doctors and her nurse tried getting me out from under her, but I couldn't move. I didn't want to.

"Jael, you need to get up. We have to take her." The nurse said but I didn't listen. She sighed and walked out of the room and about fifteen minutes later, Jesse walked in.

"Jael," I held on to Charlotte tighter. "You need to get out of here. They called me and said you wouldn't get off the bed." I didn't say anything. Jesse walked beside me as the doctors walked in once more. He placed his hands under my arms and lifted me off the bed.

"No, no, no, no," They made the bed flat and rolled her out. "No!" I turned into Jesse's chest and cried. He held me tight.

"I'm sorry." He grabbed my bag and lifted me into his arms, then walked me out to my car. He fished through my bag for the keys and buckled me into the passenger seat, then got into the drivers seat and drove back home. I was crying the whole way and when we got to the house, I didn't make any contacts with anybody and locked myself in my room for hours. I needed time alone.

I was crying the whole time but I needed to let it out without anyone interrupting me. Every sob I made, my heart broke more and more because it made this all even more real. I couldn't continue living my life like this. Everything hurts, but I don't want the people around me to hurt too. It's not fair to them to feel anything close to what I feel. Even if I held everything in, it's better than letting it all out because if I did, it would never end. There's too much going on for me to just let it all go.

I took in a deep breath and let it out. I stood up and walked up to the door and unlocked it. I walked straight to the bathroom, and without looking in the mirror or anything, I stripped of all my clothes and got in the shower. It's been about a week since I last showered since I was at the hospital the whole time, so I scrubbed my skin till it turned red and I washed my hair several times. I wanted to feel new again.

When I stepped out of the shower, I put on my robe and looked at myself in the mirror. As I stared at myself, I thought about everything bad that has happened to me. Anything that would cause my depression, insomnia, anxiety, paranoia, etc. and put it behind a wall in my head. It was all trapped now and I won't let it come back. I can't.

**Here's the end of the story, guys.  
but I am writing the next part to this series. If you guys have an idea for a title, let me know.  
please review and thanks for reading.**


	33. Final Author's Note!

**Hello everybody!**

**I know it's been a while, but I've started the third part of this series. I just finished writing Chapter 6 so I'll upload a couple of the chapters once I'm done editing.**

**I'm going to name it Mad World.**

**please read the story and review. love you guys 3**


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